Read Novel Full Chapter 470: Whatever happens…
Chapter 470: Whatever happens…
Revon stood to his feet slowly, his eyes on the Mask for a few seconds before he looked over at Kaya, his face screwed up in confusion.
"I... I don’t know what to do," he said slowly with a few stutters, and then, his expression became imploring as he asked his daughter,
"Tell me what to do?"
"There’s nothing to do!" The Mask cut in to say before Kaya could answer her father,
"Why struggle needlessly? Why prolong your years of angst when you could let it all go finally and wipe the slate clean?"
"Will that really help you?" Kaya asked her father directly, "Will wiping the slate clean really solve all your problems?"
"I— No," Revon said with a deep sigh, "No, it won’t."
Revon trembled now, clenched his fists, and there was a bit of resolve in his expression as he seemed to come to a realization.
"And you knew that, didn’t you?" He said to the Mask, "You’re me so you must know already that ’wiping the slate clean’ solves nothing.
It’ll just steep me deeper into pain, sadness, and regret."
The mouth on the Mask remained the same but its tone made it clear it was smiling as it said.
"And what’s so wrong with that? You tried to be content by accepting the marriage to Lillian. You tried to be satisfied with the birth of your sons. You tried true happiness with ’her’.
Where did it all get you?"
"What are you saying?" Revon asked.
"I’m saying, when all else fails, why not embrace the emotions that will never fail.
You have felt what we are capable of together.
You can find contentment in spreading the pain you feel within. You can find satisfaction in making your regrets the problem of everyone around you. And you can find joy—perverse but no less true and fulfilling joy—in embracing a life of perpetual sadness."
"You’re insane," Revon said to the Mask, recoiling a bit.
The Mask laughed.
"No, I’m being truthful. And I know you have the sense to embrace the truth. I know you have the fortitude to see the merit of being true to yourself.
Why bother with the struggles of chasing joy and contentment when a yawning void is ready to accept and embrace you?"
"A yawning void of Pain, sadness, and regret?" Revon asked, sounding like he would be insane to even consider it.
The Mask was unbothered by Revon’s tone and pressed him with a grinning voice shaking with delightful chuckles,
"And would you be exempt from that if you lived a normal life? Have you forgotten that your attempt at a ’normal life’ and a desire for true love and happiness is what created me?
Does that not just make me the next natural step of your evolution?"
"I— That— That does make sense," Revon said and it was so clear to see that his already shaky mental state had broken even more, allowing the Mask to gain an even tighter hold on his psyche.
"No, it doesn’t," Kaya cut in, causing the two to turn their attention to her,
"So you were rejected by one you loved... Big fucking deal.
So your wife found out you were ready to abandon her and your sons and then became cold... Boo fucking hoo!
Everyone faces setbacks. Making them the problem of everyone around you is the stupid and ridiculous part."
"There’s nothing stupid or ridiculous about it," The Mask retorted,
"The world is governed by power. The strong lead and the weak follow. If the strong wishes to share its pain and make it everyone’s problem, the weak have no choice but to accept."
"Sure, but who’s the ’Strong’ here, exactly?" Kaya asked with a smirk.
A tremor rocked the mental space then but Kaya seemed unaffected even as the Mask cast its eyes around like it was seeking the source of the disturbance.
"You’re in my Mind," Kaya said calmly with a smile, "And you haven’t yet proven your right as ’the Strong’ here so it seems premature that you already think you make the rules and lead the way."
The Mask frowned and then tried to speak but Kaya spoke over it while directing her words to her father.
"I can understand hurting your enemies. Gods know I have no sympathy for mine. But to hurt the ones you hold dear? That’s cowardly."
"That’s where you’re wrong," the Mask laughed, "He has no one he holds dear."
"Well, I think he does. He just can’t see it because you, his pain, sadness, and regret given form, have clouded his thoughts.
If he even tries, I believe he can look past all that noise and find the truth. The actual truth and not the nonsense about oblivion that you’ve been trying to feed him."
Revon pursed his lips and when he looked at Kaya, there was surrender in his eyes.
"I never meant to hurt you, Kaya," he said, "Whatever happens... I want you to know that."
Kaya could practically hear the final cracks in her father’s mental state and scrambled to not have this last-ditch attempt fail.
"I hated you," she blurted out.
Everything froze then. The Mask, Revon, and his shattering mental state.
"What?" Revon said, not in disbelief, just a bit stunned and taken by surprise at the suddenness of the proclamation.
"I hated you. When everyone treated me so differently— when Lillian, Kyrus, and Kaide couldn’t bear to be in the same room as me, I hated you.
I hated ’her’—mother—as well. But not as much as I hated you, because I felt, at least, you could have been around. You could have helped me get through it all.
Every time you came back to the Manor and could hardly be bothered to say more than a few words to me, you made me feel even worse than anyone else did. They, I could understand. They were cruel, yes, but they weren’t the reason I exist in the first place.
They didn’t have a responsibility to me."
Revon’s eyes had turned misty now and he took a step toward Kaya, stumbling as he raised his arms as though to hug her only to drop them in shame.
"Kaya, I—" Revon started but didn’t seem to be able to form any more words beyond that.
Kaya continued as if he hadn’t said anything. A lot was flowing out of her now that she had kept locked within but she kept her mind on the situation at hand.
"But as much as I hated you, I didn’t plot revenge. I didn’t plot to make my pain your problem. When I got into Lochxen, I didn’t allow myself to wallow in the pain of my experiences at the Manor. I opened myself to friendship... To Love. I found fulfillment away from here... away from you."
"Kaya—" Revon tried again.
"It’s not too late!" Kaya interrupted him to say, "It’s not too late to pick yourself up, dust away disappointment and face the world with the same vigor you did before all that shit happened.
If my existence reminds you so much of your pain and what you lost with my mother, then I’ll go away. You don’t have to resort to killing me for that. I don’t need to be around you to be content and I will be fine if that’s what you need.
But if you even consider oblivion as an option, and you surrender to Pain, Sadness, and Regret, then you’re admitting you never deserved true happiness.
And if that’s the case, you really might be doing everyone a favor by just ending it right now in the spot."