Chang’an Small Restaurant

Chapter 90.2 Honest Words of a Drunken Heart 

Princess Imperial of Fuhui, having met many jinshi, assumed it was an easy achievement. Shen Shaoguang explained, "Becoming a jinshi is no small feat. The saying, 'young fifty year old jinshi', indicates how many people spend their whole lives trying and failing."

"So, in that case, Lin Yan and Pei Fei, who became jinshi at such a young age, must be exceptionally talented individuals?" 

Shen Shaoguang responded objectively, "Whether they are exceptionally talented or not is hard to say, but they certainly possess some genuine skills."

The conversation inevitably shifted back to the men.

Princess Imperial of Fuhui expressed her frustration with Shen Shaoguang’s reticence, "I tell you, men are incredibly impatient. Don’t expect him to wait for you forever. If you don’t marry him, he will eventually take another wife and have children. With your temperament, both will likely ‘leave the earthly attachments behind and traverse the world unimpeded’. You two haven’t even slept together, what a loss..."

Shen Shaoguang nodded, envisioning a future reunion with Lin Yan many years later. She might arrive with a retinue of servants and maids, while Lin Yan would be accompanied by his wife. They would exchange distant greetings and then part ways. His wife then might ask, "Who is that Miss?" and Lin Yan might reply, "That’s the proprietress of Shen Indelible, known for their delightful dishes." The thought of this brought a pang of pain to Shen Shaoguang’s heart and mind.

Princess Imperial of Fuhui shook her head, muttering, "What a future!" But reflecting on her own situation, she couldn’t help but feel a bit aimless herself. Forget it, there was no need to admonish people on the same boat. "Enough about them. Let’s focus on the present—drink, drink!"

The two of them raised their glasses, finishing their wine and then refilling them.

The wine, enriched with honey-soaked plums, was quite enjoyable, and they ended up drinking more than they initially intended. Shen Shaoguang remained somewhat reserved, mindful of her company, while Princess Imperial of Fuhui drank freely and, by the time she left, swayed slightly as she walked.

Shen Shaoguang persuaded her, "It’s not too late yet. If Princess Imperial of Fuhui doesn’t mind, you could rest here for a while before leaving."

Princess Imperial of Fuhui waved her hand dismissively and responded with a smile, "I’ll come visit you another day. Today has truly been delightful!"

The maidservants helped her as Shen Shaoguang accompanied her out. They exchanged a few more words through the carriage window before watching Princess Imperial of Fuhui leave. Only then did Shen Shaoguang return inside.

A'Yuan supported her, saying with concern, "Miss, you’re walking quite unsteadily."

Shen Shaoguang glanced back at her footprints and found no serious issue.

The maidservants were clearing away the leftover food, and Shen Shaoguang looked at the remaining half pot of wine, instructing, "Please leave this pot of wine for me."

A'Yuan asked in surprise, "Miss, are you still planning to drink?"

Shen Shaoguang sat cross-legged on the couch, frowning as she contemplated, "I didn’t drink enough."

Didn’t drink enough… despite clearly being drunk! But just as Shen Shaoguang couldn't bear to deny A'Yuan sweets or meat, A'Yuan saw her state and decided to leave the wine. "Just this much. After finishing, you should go to bed, okay?"

Shen Shaoguang chuckled at her motherly tone, "I know, so naggy."

A'Yuan asked if she needed any food with the wine, and Shen Shaoguang shook her head, pointing to the candied fruits on the table.

…

When Lin Yan arrived, he saw Shen Shaoguang with one leg stretched out and the other bent, half-reclining on two cushions, eating a sour plum and taking sips of wine from a jug.

Shen Shaoguang glanced at him sideways, greeting with a smile, "Sir Lin, what brings you here? Isn’t there a banquet today?"

"I ran into Princess Imperial outside the district."

Shen Shaoguang nodded, tilting her head as she looked at him. "You don’t seem too drunk today."

"Yes, you’ve had quite a bit."

Shen Shaoguang curved her eyes as she smiled, "I was chatting so well with Princess Imperial, I ended up drinking a bit more."

Lin Yan pursed his lips. "If you knew you’d had too much, why continue drinking?"

Shen Shaoguang couldn’t remember the excuse she had given A'Yuan earlier, so she furrowed her brow and improvised another, "Since I’m already drunk, what’s one more sip?" She glanced at the wine jug in her hand and added, "It would be a shame not to finish it."

Lin Yan was both amused and exasperated by her reasoning—apparently, she was just cherishing wine! What kind of excuse was that?

Seeing that she was still intent on drinking, Lin Yan took the jug from her. "You shouldn’t have any more. Let the servants help you get cleaned up and get a good rest. You’re bound to have a headache tomorrow."

Shen Shaoguang shook her head and patted the cushion beside her, signaling him to sit. "Stay and talk with me for a while."

Lin Yan sat down beside her. She wore a slightly worn-out date-red Hu-style top, and her hair tied with only a ribbon had loosened, with some strands of hair falling to her temples. Her cheeks were lightly flushed, giving her a silly, endearing look. Lin Yan’s heart softened. "Don’t drink like this with Princess Imperial in the future. You don’t drink often; it’s not pleasant to be so drunk."

Shen Shaoguang didn’t respond to his advice but smiled at him playfully, then took his hand and began to play with it.

Shen Shaoguang compared her hand with Lin Yan’s. She then interlocked their fingers and Lin Yan matched her movements. Shen Shaoguang scrutinized his fingertips, noting how many "whorls" and "loops" they had.

"You have three loops; you should be a merchant like me, and run a pawnshop," Shen Shaoguang concluded.

Lin Yan had never heard such nonsense, so he just smiled in response.

Shen Shaoguang released his hand with a hint of disappointment. "It’s a pity you’re not running a pawnshop."

Sitting up straight, she looked at Lin Yan for a moment before saying, "I won’t hinder you any longer. Since it’s destined to be fruitless, you should go ahead and marry and have children."

Lin Yan looked at her, puzzled. "What’s wrong?"

"We’re not on the same path," Shen Shaoguang replied, "If we go our separate ways, we might each find our own peace. Forcing ourselves together might only lead to friction and harm. I used to believe, as long as the path allowed it, we could keep walking, step by step..." She pursed her lip and lowered her head. "It’s my fault. Rather than moistening each other with damp and spittle, let us leave the earthly attachments behind and traverse the world unimpeded."

Lin Yan lifted her face, only to find tears streaming down her cheeks. He had initially felt a sense of helplessness as she spoke of this again, but now his heart ached with sympathy. She was truly being foolish, worrying about things she shouldn’t and not considering matters that needed consideration. Seeing her so passionately involved in her business, so full of life and enthusiasm, he had been reluctant to interrupt. Moreover, their interactions, although forbidden… felt pleasant. Lin Yan was willing to take things slowly. But now, seeing her so distressed, he realized he could no longer indulge her. It wasn’t right for her to be constantly cheerful on the outside while feeling crushed inside, leading to this much anguish.

Lin Yan gently embraced her. "Aren’t we supposed to moisten each other with damp and spittle? You’ve always said so, haven’t you?"

Shen Shaoguang, lost in her sorrow, barely registered his words. Overwhelmed by sadness, she started to cry, rubbing her tears and nose against the fabric of his clothing.

Lin Yan softly patted her back. After a while, when the crying subsided, he gently turned her face to find that she had fallen asleep.

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The author has something to say: Well, as per everyone’s request, they’ve finally embraced.

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T/N: A minor announcement here~ I actually just finished translating the rest of the novel, so for those who have the means to support me, you can purchase advance chapters either on my patreon or the novel shop! The update schedule will remain the same for now, until I stock up enough chapter for my other project Ten Day Ultimatum! Anyways, thanks so much for reading up to this point! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ love you all! -Pure