Crazy Detective

Chapter 51: Call Me Your Senior

Translator: Nyoi-Bo Studio Editor: Nyoi-Bo Studio

“Officer, that’s not how it works!” The blonde stuck out his tongue, “The camel is an animal, it listens to your command! You rode the camel and broke everything, so you have to pay”

“Right! Right!” The others agreed.

“Hey, you guys are going overboard,” Li Beini cut in. “We were catching a thief! If you ask me, the thief should be at fault! You guys should go ask him to pay you back!”

As she finished, Li Beini took the list from the blonde, and was shocked by the number. “What? 9000-something yuan? Are you guys crazy? Those pots and pans, how could they be worth this much? You guys…you guys…”

“Officer,” The blond was still all smiles, “it wasn’t just pots and pans, but also expensive medicine! My list is completely correct! You can check the names one by one! Also, we don’t care about some bag thief, we just know you guys broke our stuff! Naturally it’s you guys who should pay up!”

“Hahaha…Hahaha…” Unexpectedly, Zhao Yu started laughing wildly. Everyone present was stunned by his action. What had made Zhao Yu laugh? Zhao Yu took the list, flipped through it, and started laughing even harder as if he were having a seizure! “Hahaha…” He grabbed the front of the blonde’s shirt, pulling him over, “This…this is your claim statement? What are you playing at?”

“Officer…officer…” The blonde looked a little guilty, “What do you mean?”

Zhao Yu shook his head and patted on his own chest, “Let bro here teach you! You see, your list only has objects listed on it, no human damage! You can tell by one glance that it’s not a good deal!”

“Wh…what do you mean?” The blonde scratched his head.

“If this were up to me,” Zhao Yu pointed at the list and continued, “there would have been someone with a broken leg on this list! Hmm, let’s assume that the camel stepped on and broke someone’s leg! Then, while running away from the camel, let’s also say that someone fell and got lumbar disc herniation. In a really severe case, they would be paralyzed! Those are examples of human damage! With that, there would be no limit to the amount of money you could get! Got it?”

“Then…isn’t that just making things up?” The blonde asked.

“Holy sh*t, I’ve seen many people extort money, but I’ve never seen people who were so unprofessional at it!” Zhao Yu lectured the other as if he was their senior, “Are you stupid? Isn’t your goal to extort money? To reach your goal, falsifying information is necessary!

“Objects are dead, but people are alive! I’d only be nervous if you mentioned that there were actual people involved in this. If I really end up under investigation, do you know how much trouble I’d be in? Besides, if someone ended up with lumbar disc herniation, how could I even verify that?”

“Then…” The people present all exchanged glances with each other.

“This is the key thing. Once you mention hurting people, then you can hit them hard!” Zhao Yu pointed at the list again, “Your list is so elementary! If you ask me, you should’ve started with 500,000 or even one-million!”

“Ah?” The blonde was stunned, “That isn’t that too much?”

“Keep listening!” Zhao Yu continued to lecture, “If I saw the price, I’d be shocked? Right? Then I would definitely try to negotiate with you guys! Then you guys could play nice, and slowly let the price drop to ten-thousand. Once I heard that, I’d feel like I was getting off easy! Wouldn’t I be more willing to pay? That is the key to negotiating!”

“Oh…Oh…” After hearing Zhao Yu’s lecture, the blonde truly felt his own shortcoming in extortion.

Zhao Yu thought to himself, “Kiddo I’ve extorted people over 1800-something times already. I’m pretty much the pioneer of this field! You dare come and try it on me today?” He said, “Kid, seeing that you’re trying to learn, I’ll teach you something else!” Zhao Yu continued meaningfully, “The police station is different from other sorts of workplaces. If you try to come here and play too big, we have enough jail cells for all of you!”

“Then…then what should I do?” the blonde looked at Zhao Yu in admiration.

“Two things! One is to use the media to pressure us!” Zhao Yu said, “Find a reporter, or even pretend you have one just by holding a camera and a mic. That way if you come and make a ruckus, we wouldn’t arrest you so easily!”

“Oh, then, what’s the second?” The blonde was very eager to learn.

“Go find the leader!” Zhao Yu grinned, “I can give you our chief police officer’s address. Then you can carry the one with the lumbar disc herniation on a stretcher, and put them in front of the door. Guarantee you’d get your money that day!”

“Oh…Oh…” The blond gazed at Zhao Yu with deep respect. The other’s looked at Zhao Yu in admiration was well.

But all of the investigators present were stunned, Zhao Yu’s sneaky tricks were crazy! If someone really came and tried to extort money using his methods, none of the investigators would be able to do anything about it!

“Zhao Yu!” Liu Changhu was immensely agitated, “What are you saying? How could you…how could you teach them…also chief officer…”

“Fine, bro! Thank you!” At that time, the blonde’s expression turned ambivalent as he spoke to Zhao Yu, “Seeing that you’re so practical, I’ll be honest. The price on our list was fake. How about this, we’ll consider this a loss for us and ask for 2000 yuan. Then we’re even. This way, I can at least give our people some money, and you don’t lose too much…you see…”

Seeing the blonde extending his hand, Zhao Yu’s expression turned dark. The blonde was too afraid to continue as he saw the change in Zhao Yu’s demeanor. “Kid, it’s because I felt that you are special that I decided to teach you.” Zhao Yu asked coldly, “You have to consider this carefully. Is this really how you want to do this?”

“I…I…” The blonde raised his eyebrows as if he were trying to consider the weight of Zhao Yu’s words. But right at the moment, many people ran through the door!

“Zhao Yu, Officer Zhao, Officer Zhao Yu!” The voice of a woman with a foreign accent rang through the office. “Excuse me, which one is Officer Zhao Yu?” The group turned to see a woman wearing a light blue fur coat walking into the office. A few men in black suits followed behind her. The woman was quite tall, and dressed fashionably like a celebrity. Everyone raised their head to look at her.

Suddenly seeing so many people, Liu Changhu was displeased, and yelled, “What is going on here? This is the Key Case Investigation unit, how are all of these people getting in here?”

“It was me, it was me!” Suddenly Zhang Jingfeng quickly appeared at the door. He rushed to the front of the room, and pointed at the tall woman, “I let them in! This is Miss Shao Jiaying! She came here specifically to thank us! Here…” He waved at the woman, then pointed at Zhao Yu, “That guy over there is Officer Zhao Yu, the one you’re looking for!”

“Oh…” Shao Jiaying took quick strides towards Zhao Yu, and excitedly shook his hand. “Officer Zhao, thank you! Thank you so much! If it weren’t for you, my hand…”

“No worries, it was my duty!” The woman’s hand was soft and smooth, Zhao Yu felt comfortable holding it and did not want to let go.

“Oh, right! To express my gratitude…” Shao Jiaying nodded to the people behind her. A man in suit quickly moved forward and put a suitcase in front of Zhao Yu.

“Officer Zhao! Here is one-hundred-thousand yuan!” Shao Jiaying spoke with sincerity, “Consider this a token of my appreciation. No matter what, I insist that you must take it!”