Devil Venerable Also Wants to Know

Chapter 26 – Tidying up the sect

“Well, start explaining.”

In Xuanyuan Sect’s main hall, a black-robed man with one arm sat in the highest seat, his bodyguard holding a sword and standing at his left side. Several rows of people knelt below him, with the four Altar Masters and one Sect Protector in the front line, and their subordinates behind them. Each of them had distanced themselves from the other four, the lines in the sand clearly drawn.

Hearing the black-robed man’s command, a tremble went through all five, but none dared to speak first.

“This Venerable isn’t mad at you,” Wenren È said, his remaining hand resting on an arm of the chair, as he surveyed them languidly. He continued at an easy pace, “This Venerable is just curious. How were two cultivators at the seventh level of Mahayana and two cultivators at the last level of Void Boundary all subdued by an average Sect Protector at the fifth level of Mahayana?”

Seeing that still no one dared to talk, Wenren È continued, “Seeing as it’s been over a hundred years, you should understand this Venerable by now. I don’t mind if my subordinates are disloyal. Xuanyuan Sect is a demonic sect, open to all paths of cultivation, and everyone has always done as they please. I don’t care if you cultivate gu parasites, seduction, ghosts, tortoise shells, or the pursuit of power. All your pathetic ambitions can coexist in this sect. The only thing that can’t be permitted is incompetence.”

Hearing this, Shu Yanyan perked up. She still knelt as properly as ever, but her back straightened a bit. However you told it, she had come out ahead of everyone else at the end of this struggle, so she could be considered the most competent, much more so than the four kneeling beside her.

Seeing her straighten up, Wenren È said, “Protector Shu, you seem to have something to say.”

“Venerable,” Shu Yanyan said, loud and clearly. “From the beginning, this matter can’t be considered this subordinate’s fault. Your subordinate only wished to stop the infighting caused by the Altar Masters. Venerable, you’ve given the order before that when you aren’t here, your Protectors can be your deputies. When I saw the Altar Masters fighting amongst themselves, imagine how disappointed I was! How could I not stop them? And as for bringing Altar Masters Ruan and Shi to my rooms… Venerable, you understand this subordinate. How could I not keep a little bonus for myself?”

Wenren È nodded in satisfaction and said to Yin Hanjiang, “Remember what I said, Protector Yin? If we had charged straight into Xuanyuan Sect, Protector Shu would’ve deferred to me immediately, and we wouldn’t get this show.”

Yin Hanjiang had never seen Wenren È act so mischievous before and smiled inwardly, though he kept his face emotionless and said, “The Venerable is right.”

Shu Yanyan’s bluff faltered at his words, and she could only try to change the subject. “Well, about this, you should probably ask Altar Master Ruan. If he hadn’t supported Altar Master Shi in getting his position so they could join forces against Altar Master Miao, how could someone like me, who had just risen to Mahayana with average abilities and some seduction and charms, take out all four of the others?”

“Shu Yanyan, you watch your fucking mouth!” Altar Master Ruan exploded. He slammed a hand onto the floorboards. “I backed Altar Master Shi? Why don’t you say that one more time—who exactly backed him? I must’ve been blind to work with this backstabbing pretty boy. When I get the chance, I’ll fuck him dead!”

Altar Master Shi was a pale and sickly-looking young man who looked like a scrawny intellectual-type. Hearing Altar Master Ruan, he put a hand to his mouth and after coughing a few times, said weakly, “Altar Master Ruan, I can’t accept being called a backstabber. I never planned on working with you from the start. You’re the one who ran to me and started yapping about how you needed to teach Altar Master Miao a lesson, and needed to borrow my sickness qi in order to weaken his bugs. Faced with something like that, how could I not go discuss with Altar Master Yuan in the Venerable’s place?”

After Altar Master Shi had finished talking, Altar Master Miao raised his soft voice. “You still ended up going along with Altar Master Ruan’s plan afterward. You made all my bugs sick and let Altar Master Ruan smash me with his hammer over a thousand times.”

Altar Master Shi coughed until a tinge of red appeared on his pale face. He said reedily, “Didn’t Altar Master Ruan fall sick too? I was just following Altar Master Yuan’s plan. He said in order to stop you two from destroying the unity of Xuanyuan Sect, the best way was to let you cool your heads for a bit.”

The rotund Altar Master Yuan also had to cut in at this point. Squinting his eyes, he said, “But Altar Master Shi, you weren’t supposed to tell them that I told you to do it. And you weren’t supposed to let Altar Master Miao have the opportunity to have his bugs bite me!”

“So what if they bit you?” said Altar Master Miao. “If I hadn’t been hit by some idiot a thousand times and low on spiritual energy, I would’ve used all that fat on you to raise a new nest of bugs. With your spiritual energy, I could probably grow a king parasite!”

“Altar Master Yuan, why don’t you mention how you used your techniques on me to force me to sicken them?” said Altar Master Shi. “You’re the one who secretly appointed me to the position of Altar Master, and also made a private agreement with me, that since Wenren È was dead, when you became Sect Master, I would be a Sect Protector. You also said that you stole a piece of my soul that you placed into a tablet, and that if you shattered it, my soul would be damaged and I would never be able to reach Mahayana. I had to work with Altar Master Miao in order to get the tablet back, out of self-defense!”

“You see, Venerable?” said Shu Yanyan. “Is any of this my fault?” She pointed a slim jade finger at the other four, her face full of innocence. “By the time I arrived, Altar Master Miao had been smashed into a pancake, Altar Master Shi was trying to take Altar Master Yuan’s soul to refine it, Altar Master Ruan was hugging his tortoise shell and cursing out Altar Master Shi, hitting him while coughing blood. As an acting Sect Master, how could I let them behave in such a manner in the main hall? Naturally, I had to punish them all equally, and make sure they were all disciplined!”

Wenren È nodded slowly. “Mm, Protector Shu’s words are reasonable. But this Venerable must still request Protector Shu remove the hundred-meter-long bed from his quarters and burn it. This Venerable doesn’t generally need such a large bed.”

Shu Yanyan’s face stiffened, and her back sank again. She said in a fearful voice, “Venerable, that’s the Thousand Year Frost Jade Bed. It took me many decades to collect the materials to make it. I can’t— I can’t burn it!”

“Then smash it,” Wenren È said indifferently. “Do it personally, and take it out in pieces while this Venerable watches.”

“Understood.” Shu Yanyan didn’t dare to speak more. Her severed arm was still lying by her feet, and she still hadn’t worked up the courage to reattach it yet.

Now that the Venerable had started assigning punishments to them in turn, the Altar Masters also zipped their lips, no longer daring to squabble amongst each other, waiting for Wenren È’s verdict.

“Protector Yin, what would you say they’re all guilty of?” Wenren È said, turning to Yin Hanjiang instead.

After hearing that these people hadn’t rushed to find their injured lord and instead started making grabs for power, Yin Hanjiang was already burning with rage. He responded decisively, “Right Protector Shu Yanyan showed arrogance beyond belief, taking over the Venerable’s residence and framing herself as Venerable. She ought to have her cultivation grounds leveled, her subordinates dismissed, her mouth sealed, and be forced to practice asceticism for a hundred years.”

“That’s too harsh!” Shu Yanyan cried, her head whipping up to look at Yin Hanjiang. She couldn’t help but feel he was a bit different to how he was in the past.

Yin Hanjiang ignored her and continued. “When it comes to the Altar Masters, as the Venerable has said, their greatest crime is not insubordination but incompetence. Seeing as how they were so focused on their internal strife that Protector Shu could overpower them all in one fell swoop, they are clearly unfit for their positions. However, Altar Master Ruan single-handedly incapacitating Altar Masters Miao and Shi is somewhat commendable, and may merit a lighter punishment.”

Wenren È was a bit surprised. He glanced at Yin Hanjiang and said, “This Venerable had assumed you had no opinions on anyone other than I. I didn’t know you got along with Altar Master Ruan.”

Yin Hanjiang pursed his lips and didn’t reply. He and Altar Master Ruan hardly got along, it was merely that they had fought side by side in the Great Sect War.

“Then let it be as Protector Yin has said,” Wenren È said, tapping his fingers on the arm of the chair.

Since Shu Yanyan’s mouth could still be of use, Wenren È didn’t seal her speech, but ordered her to smash all her beds personally and burn her grandiose rooms within her palace. He also reassigned all her subordinates to run errands at the main hall, and got Altar Master Miao to plant a gu insect in each of them, so that if they felt any desire for Shu Yanyan, Altar Master Miao would know instantly.

As for the four Altar Masters, Wenren È decided that the incompetent should be judged by the incompetent and let them all decide punishments for each other, and have the results reported to him later. Seeing as Yin Hanjiang had vouched for Altar Master Ruan, he let him off the hook.

In one short day, Wenren È had tidied up the Xuanyuan Sect, put everyone in their places, and ensured everyone’s loyalty once again.

After observing three of the Altar Masters release insects and sickness qi and so on upon each other for a bit, Wenren È got bored and returned to his quarters with Yin Hanjiang. Shu Yanyan had already tearfully smashed up the bed that was placed there and cast all the pieces into the mortal world, which would form a rich jade mine in a few hundred years. She swore that the bed had just been moved in, and she hadn’t had the chance to do anything on it yet.

Her face had been filled with regret while saying this—regret that she hadn’t taken the chance to properly enjoy it before Wenren È returned.

Upon entering, Yin Hanjiang was hit by a faceful of Shu Yanyan’s perfume, which had been on the bed. He scowled, unsheathing his sword, and the force of its swing swept through the entire room, clearing out the scent.

“No need to go to so much trouble,” Wenren È said. “I’ll just have Shu Yanyan personally renovate this place.”

“She’s not necessary,” Yin Hanjiang said, fuming. “This subordinate will do it.”

Instead of preventing him, Wenren È began inquiring on his experiences with Altar Master Ruan.

Yin Hanjiang went over the full account, even including the exact insults Altar Master Ruan had hurled at him. Wenren È raised an eyebrow and said, “Oh? I didn’t know Altar Master Ruan had these preferences. I suppose we must satisfy him.”

“Satisfy him?” Yin Hanjiang yelped, his voice hoarse. Satisfy him how?

Wenren È saw his shock and quickly said, “Doesn’t he want to fuck grandmas? This Venerable would like to pick a maggot-filled corpse from among Qiu Congxue’s ghost cultivators for him and see just how much he likes it.”

Yin Hanjiang relaxed upon hearing this. “Altar Master Ruan has a sharp tongue, is all,” he said quietly.

“And this Venerable is just going to scare him a little,” Wenren È said. “My order that the Sect Protectors should represent me when I’m absent was aimed at you. In the Great Sect War, you didn’t just save this Venerable, but changed the course of the entire battle. It was Ruan Weiyi’s duty to help you, so there’s no need to feel gratitude. This Venerable simply wants him to know, that he can’t say whatever he wants to just anyone!”

Hearing Wenren È back him, Yin Hanjiang felt a faint warmth in his heart. He stood behind Wenren È, watching him vent on his behalf.

Qiu Congxue’s ghost cultivators had been taken in by Altar Master Shi, and when he heard he could personally pick one as Altar Master Ruan’s punishment, he half-coughed, half-proclaimed that he would of course put every care into picking a suitable dual cultivation partner, and even went to Shu Yanyan to borrow a manual. The corporeal ghost cultivators under his command, hearing that they could dual cultivate with Altar Master Ruan, put their names down one after another, and enthusiasm was sky-high.

Yin Hanjiang: …

He felt like Altar Master Shi’s subordinates wouldn’t leave it at just scaring him.

Wenren È was pleased upon seeing that the members of Xuanyuan Sect had returned to their usual semblance of “peace”, and were focusing their energies internally instead of going around causing trouble in the mortal realm. He returned to his room in order to focus on his readings.

The book he was reading was, of course, Abusive Romance.

It had been about a month since they and Baili Qingmiao had parted, and even with Qiu Congxue delaying the journey, they should’ve returned to Shangqing Sect by now. He was interested to see how Hè Wenzhao was doing, and whether or not he’d restored his Nascent Soul.

As expected, the revisions had continued, recording from Baili Qingmiao’s perspective the entire sequence of events from when she had left her sect up through the treasure hunt in the spiritual realm. The discussion page was particularly heated this time, even longer than it had been in the original work.

[Hold on, hold your horses! WHAT did Baili Qingmiao’s senior say his name was? Wenren È?! How come my badass second male lead is now Baili Qingmiao’s senior?]

[Honestly, at that black-robed senior’s debut, when he gave Baili Qingmiao the Flame Feather Cloak, and told her to go to the Thousand Mile Ice Plains, he hadn’t gotten any in-depth description, so I assumed he was an old man.]

[He IS an old man, Wenren È is over three hundred years old, he’s just got a pretty face. Age doesn’t matter for cultivators—the Violet Spirit Master was over a thousand but Hè Wenzhao still married her. Three hundred years is still pretty young in the cultivation world, ok?]

[If the black-robed senior is Wenren È, then is the person who was always with him, who was given the Snow Flame, Yin Hanjiang? Oh god, the trauma, someone light a lamp for me.]

[In the revision, didn’t Wenren È say he was giving the Shattered Mountain Meteorite to Yin Hanjiang as a sword material? Hold on, let me see. Wenren È helped Baili Qingmiao retrieve the Snow Flame for Yin Hanjiang, he obtained the Shattered Mountain Meteorite for Yin Hanjiang, and he gave MC his token for Yin Hanjiang… guys, I think I’ve discovered something big.]

[What’s inspired the author lately? Baili Qingmiao and Wenren È’s plotlines were all given to Yin Hanjiang, and Wenren È being saved by the MC was given to… some Elder Qingxue who came out of nowhere and clearly has something wrong with her head?]

[Speaking of Qingxue, I actually quite like her. She’s taken care of the MC all along and gives no shits about Hè Wenzhao. With her there to protect Baili Qingmiao, the later plotline where Hè Wenzhao gets married and imprisons Baili Qingmiao should also change, right?]

[But the imprisonment plotline was her meeting with Zhongli Qian! If Elder Qingxue protects Baili Qingmiao, then how will Zhongli Qian get his debut? My Young Master Zhongli, you’re my number one, sob…]

[Oh no, I’m getting more and more excited to read. The author hasn’t continued after Baili Qingmiao returning to the sect, we don’t know if he’s slept with Liu-shimei. If he has… well, I’m looking forward to Elder Qingxue.]

[Also looking forward to Elder Qingxue +10086, that method of killing Hè Wenzhao and waiting for his reincarnation to grow up was wild. I stan Qingxue!]

The story had only gotten to Baili Qingmiao and Qiu Congxue returning to Shangqing Sect. Wenren È closed the book and started considering how he should capture Zhongli Qian.

“Call in the Right Protector. I have a way for her to lighten her punishment,” Wenren È said.