Discussing The Correct Posture To Enjoy Dog Food

Chapter 164 - Pomegranate Flavored Sentinel Gong (5)

Translated by Hua Li ^_~

The Abby Star System, Planet 016.

This was a natural planet with over 60% forest coverage and a pleasant climate.

The reason it had never been developed by the Empire wasn’t just because border systems were in a constant state of war—it was also for one very peculiar reason.

Planet 016’s magnetic field was unique: any woman who stayed here longer than three days, no matter how long after she left, would forever give birth to children identical to the natives. And the natives looked more or less human, except for their square-shaped necks, the triangular ears jutting from the tops of their heads, and the scattered triangular teeth filling their mouths.

In nearly two thousand years of life, this was Gou Liang’s first time seeing “square-necks.” Judging by their expression of “ugh, another bunch of ugly freaks”, he immediately understood why, seventy years after its discovery, the population of this planet was still entirely self-sustaining.

Fortunately, they were easy to deal with. In the eyes of the square-necks, only themselves—and Universal Credits—were worth anything.

As soon as Gou Liang’s group handed over a stack of bills, the native who had taken over Dr. Tang Di’s house suddenly softened his expression. What had been “a bunch of ugly freaks” upgraded to “a bunch of rich ugly freaks.” He became much more polite.

In his dialect, he said, “A few days ago, some others came looking for the short-neck’s things. Left this place a complete mess, even dug up the floor. Anything worth taking, they bought already.”

He put heavy emphasis on “bought.”

The only one who understood the 016 dialect, Xiang Muchuan, nodded knowingly. “Don’t worry. If we find anything we’re interested in, we’ll pay you the best price.”

The square-neck grinned, exposing a mouth full of triangular teeth, and followed them closely after letting them inside, terrified they’d pocket something without paying.

But just as he’d said, the place had already been stripped bare by the last group.

Through their translation earpieces, the others understood as well, their faces darkening, but at the same time letting out a breath of relief. Yao Zicong muttered, “Looks like Saiya really is with the Free Union. Young Marshal, we need to speed up. If they connect with those bastards first, getting Dr. Tang Di back will be tough.”

They searched the wooden house from top to bottom but found none of Tang Di’s inhibitor formulas or research data—it had almost certainly been looted already.

Though disappointed, they had expected this, and didn’t intend to linger.

The square-neck, however, grew anxious when he saw them leaving without buying anything, and kept trying to sell his own belongings. Xiang Muchuan refused politely, but when they had only gone a little way from the house, the square-neck suddenly came chasing after them: “This thing belonged to the short-neck. Do you want it?”

To conceal his identity, Dr. Tang Di had undergone plastic surgery to make his neck square.

But since he was fat, with a short, thick, fleshy neck, the surgery had only turned it rectangular. On 016, some overweight locals’ square necks also squashed into rectangles. Though they weren’t shunned like off-world “uglies,” they were still considered unattractive. The locals nicknamed them “short-necks”—essentially, “ugly freaks.”

The native now held out a rabbit plush toy. Xiang Muchuan and the others, well-versed in Tang Di’s profile, knew his late wife had been a Guide with a rabbit as her spirit form. He had loved her deeply. This toy was bound to be important.

But none of them let their delight show. Barton even pushed Gou Liang behind him in case he gave anything away.

Xiang Muchuan said calmly, “I know your people never lie. But didn’t you just say all of the short-neck’s belongings were already bought? Why didn’t you show this to them?”

The square-neck huffed. “Those cheapskates! They bought so much but only paid three Credits. Who’d want to deal with people like that?”

His wounded indignation spoke volumes. He then eyed Xiang Muchuan warily. “The short-neck cuddled this rabbit every night. He told me with his own mouth it was the most precious thing in the world, wouldn’t trade it for a thousand gold coins. So, unless you pay at least a thousand Credits, I’m not selling.”

Xiang Muchuan coolly handed him one thousand and one. “The rabbit is mine. But if anyone else comes asking, you can’t tell them a word. As far as they’re concerned, we bought nothing today. Understood?”

The native counted the bills carefully, then grinned wide enough to show every triangular tooth. “The Square God is my witness—I’ve already forgotten the rabbit!”

As they left, Gou Liang glanced back.

Catching his unspoken doubt, Xiang Muchuan explained, “Square-necks are greedy, but they’re scrupulous about deals. They’ll never break one, even under threat of death.”

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“If you’re that curious, ask Ai Qi to make you a dose and try it yourself,” Barton jeered.

Ai Qi just sighed in relief. “At least they didn’t find it. That means Dr. Tang Di’s life has another layer of protection.”

At least until they had the formula, the rebels wouldn’t risk killing him.

Xiang Muchuan nodded. “Zicong, seal the chip. Barton, set course for Free Star.”

“Yes, sir!”

Both men got to work.

Ai Qi checked the time. “Young Marshal, it’s mealtime. I’ll fetch the ration tubes—plain, egg-flavored, meat-flavored, or fruit-flavored. Which would you like, Yuan Shao?”

Military rations in this world were concentrated food agents—one tube a day could fuel a soldier’s maximum energy consumption and stave off hunger.

But having already tried the fruit flavor, Gou Liang had lost all interest. Compared to that abomination, even the nutrition packs from his last world deserved to be cleared from the Dark Cuisine Hall of Shame!

“Plain,” he said.

The three Sentinels immediately gave him looks of deep respect. Even Xiang Muchuan seemed doubtful of his choice, which only piqued Gou Liang’s curiosity. Just how bad could it be compared to yesterday’s fruit flavor?

The answer: food scientists had no bottom line.

After one sip, his whole face scrunched in disgust. Ai Qi and the others burst out laughing. When he managed to choke it down instead of spitting it out, they all raised their thumbs in admiration.

“The first time I tried this stuff, I puked up my dinner from the night before.”

“The guy who invented it must really hate soldiers!”

“You’d better get used to it, Yuan Shao. You’ll be eating plenty more of the plain flavor in the future.”

Ai Qi, Barton, and Yao Zicong all chimed in at once.

Seeing Gou Liang still forcing himself to continue, Xiang Muchuan handed over his own ration tube. “This one’s meat flavor. Try it.”

Gou Liang glanced at him, cautiously took a small sip—still awful, just like the fruit flavor, but not nearly as revolting as plain.

Without hesitation, Xiang Muchuan swapped with him, swallowing the plain one down without a change in expression.

Barton let out a whistle. “That’s what you call max boyfriend power! If the other little Guides out there saw this, half of them would be swooning themselves to death again.”

Getting glares from Ai Qi and Yao Zicong, Barton suddenly realized cracking jokes about the Young Marshal’s fanbase in front of his Guide wasn’t exactly appropriate. He laughed dryly and changed the subject, waggling his brows. “Yuan Shao, you must be touched, right?”

Struggling to swallow, Gou Liang nodded.

Xiang Muchuan comforted him: “You’ll get used to it.”

“I don’t want… to get used to it.” Gou Liang squeezed the empty tube with determination. “I’ll change it.”

The four of them were stunned by his ambition. When they came back to their senses, they all voiced their support.

But in their hearts, none of them held out much hope. Since the plain-flavor ration was invented, centuries of effort by the Empire had failed to produce anything with better nutrition and faster absorption for military use.

Chef Gou could only scoff: Foolish mortals.

After ten hours of travel, the five of them arrived at Free Star.

This independent world belonged neither to the Empire nor the Free Union. It was the pirates’ den of the galaxy, a place where any deal could be made for the right price.

After paying hefty docking, storage, and landing fees, they barely stepped out of the spaceport before trouble found them.

“New faces? Cooperate. Strip down—shirts, pants, everything. We’re looking for someone.”

The thugs blocking their way were brash. Barton grinned. “Funny, you look new to me, too, buddy. Why don’t you strip first and give me a demo?”

One of them, wearing a cap full of holes, sneered. “Ever heard of Scar Chen? We’re his men. Got orders to find someone. Be smart and strip yourselves, or we’ll do it for you—and we won’t leave you even your underwear.”

“Scar Chen? Sorry, can’t say I have!”

Barton kicked the man in the gut and launched straight into the fight.

Ai Qi and Yao Zicong joined in. Three against thirty, and within minutes they had the gang crying for mercy.

Gou Liang stood shielded behind Xiang Muchuan, baffled by the random brawl. “Is… finding people here… always like this?”

Seeing he was serious, Xiang Muchuan chuckled. “Just their way of charging tolls. Last year, the line was they were ‘looking for a watch.’”

Gou Liang: “…”

More of Scar Chen’s lackeys rushed over. Five minutes later, fifty-odd bodies littered the ground.

Barton collected their valuables, while Yao Zicong hauled up the guy with the holey cap, smiling. “Send my regards to your boss. Ask him if he ever found that watch he was looking for last year.”

Victorious, Xiang Muchuan and his people headed straight to the Exchange, moving with the ease of old hands.

Most who came to Free Star were here for this very place, and Xiang Muchuan clearly wasn’t new to its dealings.

At the entrance, he pulled out a black card. Ai Qi explained to Gou Liang, “That’s the highest-level VIP card here.” Sure enough, after swiping it, a manager hurried over. “Honored guests, how may we serve you?”

“Is the Professor in? I want to see him.”

“He is,” the manager confirmed. “But he’s in class at the moment. Please, wait in the VIP lounge—we’ll fetch him right away.”

While waiting, Ai Qi whispered to Gou Liang, “The Professor is head of the Godslayer pirate crew and one of the Exchange’s bosses. He despises academics, so he calls himself Professor as a joke. Calls his business deals ‘classes,’ just to spite them.”

Gou Liang: … Everyone here is short a few brain cells, aren’t they?

But the Professor didn’t look the type. On the contrary, his sharp features radiated intelligence. The moment he saw Xiang Muchuan, he laughed. “Brother Mu, I hear Scar Chen’s brats gave you trouble again? His bad luck. Every time you show up, he targets you. If you ask me, since you always wear a fake face anyway, you don’t need to change it each time. He keeps whining to me about you.”

Xiang Muchuan shook his hand with a smile and sat down. “I’m just curious what the Professor lost this year.”

That sent the Professor into hearty laughter.

So Scar Chen turned out to be his subordinate. As one of Free Star’s most powerful pirate lords, the Professor loved simple, brutish games like roadside robberies. Scar Chen ran that entertainment project—if they robbed something valuable or ran into someone interesting, he’d report it back for a laugh.

Gou Liang couldn’t for the life of him understand the fun in this. Seeing how pleased the Professor was, he thought, This guy’s brain is even squarer than the square-necks’.

Just then, the Professor’s gaze swept over to him. “Well, well, a new face?”

…Same tone, same line. Definitely the same breed.

Xiang Muchuan slapped his black card down on the table. “Professor, don’t get too curious about my people. Let’s stick to business.”

“Brother Mu, you’re no fun.”

Someone beside the Professor scanned the card on a terminal and reported the balance.

It was the largest transaction sum they’d ever dealt with—no small number anywhere. The Professor recalculated his stance, but kept his tone casual. “Quite a show of wealth, Brother Mu. Tell me, what do you want?”

Yao Zicong laid down photos of the rebels and Dr. Tang Di.

Xiang Muchuan said, “Three days. I want them alive.”

Hearing it was a job to find people, the Professor’s mind was set at ease. He chuckled, “Brother Mu, you’re making things difficult for me. Getting people is easy, but alive? That’s worth a bit of talking over. In this world, lives are both priceless and worthless at the same time. If one of them ends up dead, how do we settle that?”

“These two—alive, I’ll add thirty percent.”

Xiang Muchuan pointed at Dr. Tang Di and the rebel, Saiya.

The Professor grinned. “That’s why I love doing business with you, Brother Mu—you’re straightforward. But listen, if they’re on Free Star, no problem. If they’re not, that’s like fishing in the sea, no guarantees. So, half a month. Whether I succeed or not, we stick to the usual rules.”

“Fine.”

Xiang Muchuan said, “I’ll wait here three days. I hope to hear good news from you soon.”

The Professor arranged lodgings for them, and Xiang Muchuan didn’t refuse.

“Boss, you’re really planning to stay here for three whole days?”

Finally free of those awful ration tubes, Gou Liang and the others had gorged themselves on a hearty meal. When Xiang Muchuan led them straight back to the hotel to rest, Barton immediately started grumbling.

“What’s the problem?”

Xiang Muchuan glanced at him.

Barton gave a sly grin, ready to tease him, but Ai Qi cut in first: “Boss, Second Young Master rarely gets the chance to go out, and it’s his first time on Free Star. If you’ve got nothing else pressing, why not take him out for a walk? There’s plenty here worth seeing.”

Xiang Muchuan paused, then turned to Gou Liang. “Want to go now?”

“Yes!”

Gou Liang: I’ve never been on a date with a +65 affection score before—I’m so, so looking forward to it!

I am also looking forward to what our Marshal Xiang will do on the date. Any ideas?