Fantasy Farm

Chapter Ch32.1 - The unlucky god

translator: baumkuchen  editor: ellabells

Although Wu Xiao’s dream of being able to hear the tree spirit talk had come true, he had somehow gained a treekind as a partner. Lu Qingjiu’s mood was incredibly complicated. He didn’t know what he should say. When he called Wu Xiao back, Wu Xiao had already calmed down. He asked him if he had any solutions.

Lu Qingjiu replied that as of now, there wasn’t… After finding out the truth of the matter, he’d pre-emptively asked Bai Yuehu if this marriage contract could be dissolved. Bai Yuehu’s reply had been that treekind had always married for life. When one got married to one of them, they should just give up on wanting to leave. There was only widowing, no divorce.

So Lu Qingjiu braced himself and relayed this answer to Wu Xiao. After hearing this, Wu Xiao despairingly declared: He would just have to make do, it’s not like he could leave.

Lu Qingjiu wanted to laugh, but didn’t think it would be appropriate. He could only do his best to hold back, even trying to console him a little, saying that Old Tree actually had a really great personality, after interacting with him more, who’s to say that he wouldn’t fall in love…

He and Wu Xiao’s enmity ended in this way. Lu Qingjiu didn’t really know what to say so he could only get Zhu Miaomiao to help him privately hand Wu Xiao a big red envelope to express the slight regret hidden deep in his heart.

When Zhu Miaomiao asked him why he wanted her to pass him the red envelope, he didn’t dare to answer her, simply brushing it over with a vague excuse.

When Wu Xiao asked him what he meant by this after receiving the red envelope, Lu Qingjiu said, “Isn’t it for your new marriage…”

Wu Xiao hung up with a slam. This time, Lu Qingjiu couldn’t hold back, letting out quiet laughter on the other end of the line.

The August weather was unbearably hot, the sun so strong that even the chickens in the courtyard weren’t willing to move around. After half a year, the chicks had already grown into half-matured chickens. It was  just that these chickens looked a little different from the others. No matter if they were roosters or hens, the colour of their plumage was incredible, looking very beautiful. He just didn’t know how their taste would be… Lu Qingjiu thought that when they had the time, they could get Bai Yuehu to slaughter one to have a taste.

Xiao Hei and Xiao Hua, on the other hand, didn’t seem to have grown at all. The size they were when they came here was the size they were now. Yin Xun suspected that they were faulty goods, they spent their days eating and sleeping yet didn’t get any fatter.

When Xiao Hua heard Yin Xun say this, he rolled his eyes so hard they almost popped out of their sockets.

Upon seeing this, Yin Xun, this thing, even made a fuss, “What the hell, Lu Qingjiu, control your family’s pig, it actually rolled its eyes at me.”

Lu Qingjiu said, “Before you speak ill of others, can you move your face away from their belly first.”

Yin Xun refused, unyielding, “No.”

Xiao Hua almost hoofed him in the face.

Ever since Yin Xun, this thing, had discovered that Xiao Hua’s cool belly was an effective tool for relieving the summer heat, he began to carry Xiao Hua around all day. Sometimes when he went out to harvest his vegetables he’d even bring Xiao Hua with him on his back. After a few fruitless struggles, Xiao Hua had helplessly given up, thoroughly becoming Yin Xun’s exclusive ice bag.

Seeing his expression, Lu Qingjiu felt that if not for the fact that he couldn’t speak in Yin Xun’s presence, Xiao Hua might have given him a verbal thrashing long ago.

Yin Xun really should be grateful for his identity as an ordinary person…

In the summer, things that could relieve the summer heat were utterly indispensable. Lu Qingjiu boiled some sour plum juice and placed it in the fridge to chill. Every afternoon, after he got up from his nap, he would drink a cup. Yin Xun and Bai Yuehu also really liked this kind of sweet and sour drink. Every day, at the hottest time of the day, they would all eat something cold in the house to relieve the heat.

The little fox also liked to eat frozen food, but Lu Qingjiu feared its body was too weak and if it ate too much it would get diarrhea. So, he would control the amount every time.

Today, the three of them were in the house eating the fresh liangxia Lu Qingjiu had made. Liangxia was a local unique dessert. Rice paste made from glutinous rice was dipped into water with a spoon and formed into a small shrimp-shaped rice ball, then placed into thick red soup with sweet and sour hawthorns. It felt soft, sticky and cool, with a strong fragrance of rice. It was met with a lot of welcome from the people in his house. When Lu Qingjiu ate them, he felt it was lacking a bit in sweetness. Just as he was planning to go to the kitchen to add in another spoonful of red soup, he heard the sound of knocking from the courtyard — someone was at the door.

“Who is it?” Lu Qingjiu called over.

It was 3 in the afternoon, the hottest time of day. The sunlight was eye-searingly bright. The entire world seemed as if it had been enveloped in a huge, fiery steamer basket. If someone went out for even less than a minute, they would come back covered in sweat. Usually, if Lu Qingjiu were to hear a knock at the door, he would go over and open it without asking any questions, but today, it was truly too hot. The three of them all glanced at each other. Clearly, none of them wanted to move.

“Bai Yuehu, Bai Yuehu!” From outside came a man’s voice, calling Bai Yuehu’s name. He knocked loud and hard on the wooden door, which was already not very strong. “I’m fucking dying of heat, quickly come and open the door for me!!”

So he was looking for Bai Yuehu. Lu Qingjiu and Yin Xun both let out a sigh of relief, then moved their gazes to Bai Yuehu. Since he wasn’t looking for them, then they didn’t need to leave the air-conditioned room to open the door in the heat.

Who knew that Bai Yuehu would just open his eyes, very shamelessly change the tone of his voice and answer the person outside the door with a, “Bai Yuehu isn’t here.”

Upon hearing this, Lu Qingjiu, who was next to him, almost did a spit-take. Yin Xun’s reaction was about the same as Lu Qingjiu’s. They were clearly both shaken by Bai Yuehu’s shamelessness.

“Fuck, Bai Yuehu isn’t here? Then who are you?” The person outside was angered by Bai Yuehu’s answer. He began pounding on the door. “Quickly open the door, I’m really going to die out here—”

Just as Bai Yuehu was about to say something, suddenly, there was a loud noise at the door. Lu Qingjiu watched with wide eyes as his fragile door fell to the ground with a “bam”. With the door fell the sorry figure of a man. He also seemed to have never considered that the door would be so weak towards knocking, his entire person falling into the courtyard, flat on his face. 

“Ah! Shit!” The man fell rather heavily. He laid on the ground for a long time without reacting before letting out a painful groan, “Aiya… Fuck…”

Seeing this, Lu Qingjiu hurried over, asking, “Brother, are you alright?”

The man raised his head. Seeing his face, Lu Qingjiu let out a puff of laughter. The man’s face was covered in green and purple, these wounds forcibly destroying a face that could originally be considered handsome.

The man looked towards Lu Qingjiu with a bitter expression. Just as Lu Qingjiu wanted to ask him if he was alright, he saw him spit out something — from his mouth fell out half a tooth.

“Fuck,” The man cursed, “I’m fucking—”

Lu Qingjiu thought inwardly that this person was really too unlucky. He hurriedly helped the man up. The man’s leg appeared to be hurt. He hobbled into the house.

When Bai Yuehu saw him, there was a look of disdain in his eyes.

Bai Yuehu asked, “How’d you know I was here?”

“I heard about it from the Su home.” The man sat down, rubbing his leg. “You really are…”

Bai Yuehu drank a mouthful of liangxia, not sparing him even a glance.

The man’s gaze fell onto the liangxia. He swallowed down a mouthful of saliva. “What is this, does it taste good?”

Bai Yuehu said, “It’s delicious.” Then he finished it all in one gulp.

The man, “…”

Watching from the side, Lu Qingjiu found this hilarious, but in the end, he wasn’t as calm as Bai Yuehu. Feeling like this man seemed truly too wretched, he turned and went to the kitchen to make a bowl of liangxia for him. He even added in a little more brown sugar, thinking of helping the man recover some blood.

The man almost wept when he saw him set the bowl of liangxia down in front of him. He kept harping on about how Lu Qingjiu was a good person, and in the future he’d definitely be very lucky, then began to eat happily.

Bai Yuehu said, “Shui Feng, why are you actually here?” Then man’s name was Shui Feng. It sounded a little strange.

“I came to ask you for help,” Shui Feng said, “My darling fox…”

Bai Yuehu shot him an ice-cold gaze. Shui Feng hurriedly corrected himself, “Mister Bai!”

“I already said, I can’t save you,” Bai Yuehu said lazily, “Didn’t I already tell you before.”

Shui Feng, “…I feel like I can still be saved.” After saying this, he used his spoon to scoop up a big spoonful of liangxia and shoved it into his mouth. Just as he was about to pull the spoon out of his mouth, Lu Qingjiu, sitting next to him, heard the crisp crack of porcelain. Then came a sharp screech. The man yelled out “ah ah ah”, and spat out a mouthful of blood — the originally perfectly-fine ceramic spoon had actually broken in his mouth.

“Shit!” Next to him, Yin Xun was shocked by the image before him. His voice was full of panic, “Big brother, even if you’re hungry, you can’t eat the spoon, that’s ceramic — you can’t eat that!”

Shui Feng was in tears from the pain, his mouth full of broken ceramic pieces. He staggered into the outer courtyard, then tried to turn on the tap to wash out his mouth. Who knew that the moment he turned on the tap, and placed his mouth under it, there was yet another incomparably pained scream.

Lu Qingjiu was stunned for a moment, then immediately understood what had happened. Their tap and pipes had all been left under the searing sun. Their surface temperature was nearly seventy degrees Celsius. Thinking about it, the water coming out of the heated tap wouldn’t be anywhere near cooling… To Shui Feng, this was simply just salt on his wounds.

The man was in so much pain that he looked like he was about to keel over, but he still forced himself to carry on, using the water to rinse out the shattered ceramic in his mouth with great difficulty.

As Lu Qingjiu and Yin Xun watched on from by the door, they both seemed as if they couldn’t bear to watch any further. This image was truly too tragic. Using the phrase “cold water getting stuck between one’s teeth” to describe Shui Feng’s luck was putting it lightly.

Shui Feng roughly cleaned out his wounds, then returned to the house with tears in his eyes. Lu Qingjiu originally thought he was going to say something. Who knew that he would just lift up the bowl of liangxia and drink it all down in one gulp. He even gave Lu Qingjiu a ‘like’, “Big brother, your cooking is really good.”

Lu Qingjiu, “…Buddy, are you alright?”

Shui Feng said, “I’m fine, I won’t die.”

Bai Yuehu said lazily, “Don’t mind him, he’s used to it.”

Sure enough, Shui Feng seemed used to it. He recovered very quickly from what would have been extremely painful to an ordinary person. After finishing his liangxia, he wiped his mouth and said to Bai Yuehu, “Yuehu, let’s go out and discuss this, okay?”

Bai Yuehu shot him a look, not saying a word.

“Yuehu,” Shui Feng said, “Just help me out a little.”

Bai Yuehu looked at Shui Feng, not speaking, but his expression already gave Shui Feng his answer. Shui Feng was about to try to persuade him further but heard Bai Yuehu asked in a frosty voice, “How much longer are you going to be like this?”

Shui Feng, “…”

Bai Yuehu said, “Even if it doesn’t irritate you, it irritates me.”

Shui Feng opened his mouth, wanting to say something, but then realized that Lu Qingjiu and Yin Xun were sitting next to them. He said, “Let’s talk about this somewhere else.”

baum: BYH’s friend is a riot lmao. what a disaster of a person

Sour plum drink:

Liangxia:

Red soup: