Fantasy Farm

Chapter Ch52.1 - Bumming a meal

translator: baumkuchen

“It’s too hot!” Unexpectedly, faced with Bai Yuehu’s strict accusation, Lu Qingjiu actually felt a miraculous sense of guilt. According to logic, this kind of thing should have been incredibly normal, but why was it that now, after being asked this by Bai Yuehu, he felt like he’d really done some unforgivable thing? He had no choice but to explain himself, trying to get his family’s fox spirit to understand, “Really, I came here in a down jacket. It’s so hot here, if I kept it on, I would have fallen ill.”

Bai Yuehu turned to glare at Jiufeng. “Why did you sneak him here? Were you trying to eat him?”

Jiufeng widened her pair of lovely eyes. She said, “How could I, he’s so small, he’s not even enough to stuff the cracks between my teeth. I just wanted to try eating the stuff you usually eat…”

Bai Yuehu said calmly, “I just eat ordinary things usually.”

“My ass!” Jiufeng was so angry with Bai Yuehu that she stomped her foot again. Curses spilled out of her mouth, “Shaohao already told me, that day he saw you eat a few hundred dumplings at the dumpling shop, and all on Lu Qingjiu’s dime! Several hundred dumplings… How much is that, can you afford it?”

Even though Bai Yuehu’s expression was as serious as usual, miraculously, Lu Qingjiu saw a trace of guilt in his eyes. He retorted, “That’s what I earned with my labour.”

Jiufeng said, “What labour is worth several hundred dumplings? I’ll do it too!”

In response to Jiufeng volunteering herself, Bai Yuehu showed a look of extreme disdain. “Our home’s not lacking in people, and anyways, you have nine mouths.”

Lu Qingjiu, watching on from the sidelines, kind of wanted to laugh. He’d never thought that the day would come where Bai Yuehu of all people would disdain someone for their appetite.

Hearing this, Jiufeng started wailing, saying that even though she had nine mouths, she definitely didn’t eat as much as Bai Yuehu, Bai Yuehu was smearing her clean reputation for no reason, she needed Bai Yuehu to give her an apology. So the nine heads began to wail at the same time, sounding like just like a flock of ten thousand ducks quacking together, so noisy it made one’s head hurt.

Lu Qingjiu, who was sitting by the side watching Jiufeng and Bai Yuehu quarrel, felt like he was about to be dried into human jerky by the sun. he silently walked over to the ocean, and rolled up his pant legs, wanting to soak his legs to cool off. Who knew that the moment he bent over, he would feel a gust of wind blow by his body. Bai Yuehu, who had originally still been floating in midair had instantly teleported over to Lu Qingjiu. He grabbed hold of his hand, and said through gritted teeth, “Lu Qingjiu, what are you doing? Your shirt isn’t enough, you even want to take off your pants?”

Lu Qingjiu replied despairingly, “…I was going to roll up my pant legs.”

Bai Yuehu and Jiufeng spoke at the same time, “No!”

Lu Qingjiu said, “Then what am I supposed to do, I’m about to be killed by the heat.”

Bai Yuehu waved his hand. Above their heads appeared a black cloud, blocking out the sun. On the beach, as long as there was a shaded area, the moment the wind blew, it would immediately cool down. Lu QIngjiu asked helplessly, “Are you guys done arguing?”

“Come on, come back with me.” Not wanting to waste any more time on Jiufeng, Bai Yuehu grabbed Lu Qingjiu’s hand, wanting to bring him back.

“Stop, stop!” Jiufeng began to screech. She said, “You can’t take him away just like that, the snake hasn’t been cooked! This snake took a lot of effort on my part to catch, okay?! If you just bring him away like that, you’ll never hear the end of it from me!”

Bai Yuehu replied, “How would you be able to make me hear anything from you?”

Jiufeng said, “I’ll snatch him back at the closest opportunity.” As she said this, she proudly raised her head. “Could it be that you can tie him to your belt hoops and bring him everywhere with you?”

Bai Yuehu looked down at his pants, and found to his regret that his pants indeed didn’t have any belt hoops.

Lu Qingjiu was shaken by Bai Yuehu’s action. He have the feeling that if Bai Yuehu really wanted to tie him to his belt hoops, he would really have some way to do it. So he hurriedly advised, “Since we’re already here, we might as well finish this for her before we go.”

“It’s such a big snake, you’re so small, how are you going to cook it?”

Lu Qingjiu said, “I can tell you guys what to do, and you guys carry it out. Heat control and stuff can be left to me, there shouldn’t be too much of a difference.” ——After all, you guys usually just eat raw meat.

Off on the side, Jiufeng’s cries rose and fell in succession. He didn’t know if Bai Yuehu was fed up with the noise, or was worried about Jiufeng pulling such a stunt again, but in the end, he still agreed to Lu Qingjiu’s suggestion, deciding to help Jiufeng cook this giant, plump snake before them.

“Go home and bring over the spices I bought.” Since they’d decided to do it, Lu Qingjiu planned on doing his best to make it taste good. He ordered Bai Yuehu, “Take them from the sack in the cellar, don’t take them from the kitchen.” 

Bai Yuehu said, “Okay.” 

Fortunately, Lu Qingjiu had stored up a lot of spices before winter. It shouldn’t matter much if they used a bit now. After Bai Yuehu went off to get the spices, Lu Qingjiu asked Jiufeng to go prepare the snake a little. This snake hadn’t been dead for very long, its body was still steaming. Because its head had been smashed into a pulp by Jiufeng, Lu Qingjiu couldn’t tell exactly what kind of beast it was. However, what kind it was didn’t matter, after all, they were going to eat it. Lu Qingjiu got Jiufeng to skin the giant snake, remove and throw away its innards, then carve out a few cuts on its body to make the flavour sink in more easily.

Because there definitely wasn’t enough salt at home, Lu Qingjiu thought about it for a moment, then had Jiufeng take the snake and soak it in the ocean for a while, to give it a bit of saltiness. By the time that they were about done preparing the snake, Bai Yuehu came back. Lu Qingjiu had them scatter the spices on the snake’s body, then, the final step was to roast it over the fire.

Originally, Lu Qingjiu had been thinking about how long they needed to roast a snake like this for. However, he then saw Jiufeng flap her wings, flying straight up into the air. She opened her mouths, and nine brilliant streams of flames gushed out.

Lu Qingjiu watched on by the side, directing her to flip it over, and to not burn the snake.

In the end, it wasn’t an ordinary animal. Even though their methods to prepare the snake had been incredibly crude, after being roasted in the flames, a fragrant aroma soon rose from the snake meat. This snake was incredibly fatty, its fatty oils sizzling in the flames. Just listening to this sound made people’s fingers twitch with the urge to eat.

Jiufeng asked, “Bai Yuehu, do you want to eat some?”

Bai Yuehu said, “What do you think?”

Jiufeng was very clear on Bai Yuehu’s nature of being protective over his food. If she really were to eat this snake by herself, she herself would probably be eaten by Bai Yuehu in a few days. There were no laws protecting the weak in the supernatural world. Bai Yuehu eating her would be no different from him eating a chicken.

Hence, although she was reluctant, Jiufeng still tore the snake into two, and unwillingly gave it to Bai Yuehu.

After Bai Yuehu got the snake meat, he naturally gave Lu Qingjiu half like he always did. However, the unknowing Jiufeng’s eyeballs almost fell out of her sockets when she saw this scene. Had she seen a ghost? Bai Yuehu actually shared his food with someone else? What kind of magic did this Lu Qingjiu have, having coaxed Bai Yuehu to this extent…

With doubts in her heart, Jiufeng took a bite of the snake before her. This single bite instantly resolved her previous doubt.

“Wuwuwuwu it tastes so so good, how is this snake this delicious?” Jiufeng began to cry with excitement. She’d eaten this kind of snake for more than a thousand years, and had tried roasting them herself, but she’d never tasted this kind of taste. The quality of the meat of the snake’s head was originally already very good. Under Lu Qingjiu’s guidance, she’d roasted the snake head until it was crisp on the outside and tender on the inside. Especially the skin on the outside which had soaked in the sea salt, it crunched satisfyingly in the mouth, unbelievably delicious.

Lu Qingjiu was given a shock by Jiufeng’s exaggerated reaction. He thought for a moment, then felt that it might be that Jiufeng was just giving him face because he was Bai Yuehu’s friend. He’d tried some of the snake meat. Because the methods they’d used had been rather crude, the it was naturally still a little lacking. For instance, some areas hadn’t absorbed any flavour, but this snake’s flavour was originally pretty good, it would probably be even better stewed in chicken soup…

Lu Qingjiu glanced at Bai Yuehu digging in next to him. He asked, “Does it taste good?”

Bai Yuehu, “Yes.”

Lu Qingjiu said, “How about we bring back a piece and stew it with chicken?”

Bai Yuehu’s eyes lit up. He asked, “Stew with chicken?”

Lu Qingjiu said, “If we stew the snake together with chicken, it’ll taste very good. My grandma made it for me before when I was younger.” At that time, he hadn’t paid too much attention to anything. In the village, there were a lot of non-venomous snakes called king rat snakes, especially in the summer. At times, he would even be able to find some in his courtyard. His grandmother wasn’t at all scared of these kinds of slithering animals. After catching them, she would stew them with chicken for a few hours, then add a few side dishes like edible tree fungus and mushrooms, and it would truly be delicious. However, after growing up, Lu Qingjiu rarely ate snake anymore. Even if he ate them, he would eat those which were raised in a farm. After all, these days, wild animals didn’t have it good. If you could leave even just one alive, all the better. As for the rare birds and beasts that only existed in myth before them… As an ordinary person, Lu Qingjiu could only praise “delicious”.

“Stewed snake? I’ve never had that before… Does it taste good, does it taste good, how good does it take?” Jiufeng’s head moved closer. She stared at Lu Qingjiu with bright eyes.

Bai Yuehu said ruthlessly, “What are you asking for, no matter how good it tastes, you’re not getting any.”

Jiufeng, “Wuwuwuwu.”

Lu Qingjiu didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

After having a few mouthfuls of snake meat, Lu Qingjiu was just about full, but Bai Yuehu stripped his half of the snake to bone before stopping. Probably because he was worried about him scaring Lu Qingjiu with how he ate, when eating the snake, he simply wrapped himself in black fog. Lu Qingjiu could only hear the sound of crunching come from within it.

Jiufeng didn’t even leave the bones. After finishing, she stared balefully at Lu Qingjiu. If not for her huge body and other eight heads, Lu Qingjiu might have softened from her gaze.

After he finished eating, Bai Yuehu, ignoring Jiufeng’s sorrowful tears, grabbed Lu Qingjiu and went back home.

Before going back, Lu Qingjiu didn’t forget to put his down jacket back on, in order to avoid freezing like a fool when he got there.

“You’re back, Qingjiu, are you alright?” Upon seeing Lu Qingjiu come back unharmed, Yin Xun, who had been in the courtyard waiting for news, let out a huge sigh of relief. He hurried over to meet them, asking if Lu Qingjiu was okay.

Lu Qingjiu, afraid of Yin Xun worrying, gave him a simple rundown of everything that had happened with Jiufeng just now. After hearing it all, Yin Xun’s expression twisted. “So not only did nothing happen to you, you even had a big meal?”

“Yep,” Lu Qingjiu said, “Didn’t Bai Yuehu come back for a bit?”

Yin Xun said angrily, “When he came back, he had a face like he’d had his wife snatched, I thought something big had happened and didn’t dare to say anything, and he just took the things and left straightaway…”

Lu Qingjiu couldn’t help but burst into laughter. He said, “Alright, aren’t I back now? There’s no need to worry any longer.”

Yin Xun let out a long sigh. “So was that snake delicious?”

“The meat tasted great,” Lu Qingjiu said, “But it was too big, so it was a little hard to handle. When we have the chance…”

Before he could finish speaking, Bai Yuehu next to him, who had been silent like a statue this entire time, spoke, “Let’s have snake tonight.”

Lu Qingjiu said, “Ah?”

Bai Yuehu pulled out a mini version of that giant snake. “We can eat this one.”

Lu Qingjiu, “Where did you get it?”

Bai Yuehu said honestly, “Just now, as I was going over there, I casually dropped by the giant snake’s nest and caught a little snake.”

Lu Qingjiu, “…” Aren’t you a little too practised at this?