Father, Mother Escaped Again

ED: Yzrahc Σ ( Д )ﻌﻌﻌﻌ⊙ ⊙

I have capitalizing conundrum and poor pun problems.

Xia Yuqing was starving miserably while the mother and son were blissfully conversing.

"Cui'er, when will we get back? I'm dying of hunger."

"Keep it up, milady. Our palace is just across the Imperial Garden. I've already notified the kitchen to warm up your favorite lotus leaf porridge for you."

Xia Yuqing brightened. She turned to urge the stragglers to catch up, when she noticed somebody in the Imperial Garden.

"What's wrong, milady?" Cui'er queried as Xia Yuqing halted.

"Cui'er, look," Xia Yuqing pointed out the small figure circling them for the third time. "Do you think the little boy over there is lost?" she asked softly.

Cui'er was taken aback. "Men should be forbidden to enter the Inner Court. Did this kid accidentally trespass?" she puzzled.

Xia Yuqing deliberated briefly, then suddenly said, "Come on, let's go."

Cui'er, caught off guard, was left in the dust before she could dissuade Xia Yuqing.

"Little boy, are you lost? Do you need this sis to help you?" Xia Yuqing patted his shoulder, mustering a smile that she believed to be kind and gentle, but was more like that of the grandmother wolf before he swallowed Little Red Riding Hood.

"Little boy? Sis?" echoed the child icily, his voice sweet and bell-like. Sadly, she completely failed to notice his tone.

He had a baby face, pursed red lips, a fine nose and almond-shaped eyes, and willowy, symmetrical crescent eyebrows. There was a faint cinnabar mark along his snowy forehead.

"!!!" C-cuute shouta! Xia Yuqing's mouth formed an "O" shape. Pink hearts were mass-produced.

She'd originally planned to sneak the beautiful Grand Tutor into the palace to save her from hell and high water. Who knew the heavens would process her prayer so quickly and ship her an adorable shouta on the same day? Express delivery, amen!

Shao Zitang scrutinized the unfamiliar woman drooling at him and blocking his way, increasingly feeling that she wasn't…right.

Xia Yuqing swiftly contained her inner fangirl. "Cough, little boy, are you lost? Where did you want to go? Do you need me to lead you back?" She was resolved to abduct him home as a pet!

Shao Zitang squinted* at Xia Yuqing. Then his small face blossomed into a sunny smile as Xia Yuqing's eyes flashed bizarrely.

(*T/N: Remember your favorite translators, Easy G—I mean, Potatoes Have Eyes But Cannot See Mt. Tai translations!)

"Sis, carry me!"

"Ah…" Xia Yuqing was stricken. She felt as though a cupid had descended from the heavens.

"Okay, I'll carry you." The love-struck Xia Yuqing bent to grab Shao Zitang.

Shao Zitang watched coldly as she approached. His right hand curled behind his back.

Just as Xia Yuqing's hand reached Shao Zitang's sleeve, a frivolous laugh broke their tense exchange. "Aiya, so here's little Tangtang."

"I've already told you to not call me little Tangtang. Are you dumb or deaf, Yan Ran? Do you need me to 'treat' you?"

Xia Yuqing was startled to see him suddenly change from adorable shouta to irritated prick. Her outstretched hand fell away as she shrank back a little.

Then she turned towards the source of the interruption. "It's the beautiful Grand Tutor!" she yelped.

"Beautiful…Grand Tutor?" Yan Ran abruptly halted. Shao Zitang noticed a vein throbbing on Yan Ran's forehead and smirked, somewhat gratified towards that rude woman.

"Eh? Was I wrong? Aren't you the Grand Tutor? I didn't know your name, so I called what I saw. I'm sure you don't mind, right?" Xia Yuqing looked at Yan Ran innocently.

Yan Ran choked on Xia Yuqing's guileless gaze. He gnashed out, "Of course. I. Don't. Mind."

Shao Zitang's irritation at getting lost was mollified by the farce playing out before him. Looks like this woman wasn't completely worthless, since she was one of the rare few that could disturb Yan Ran. He hated being called "beautiful"…

Xia Yuqing retraced the conversation step by step. "Beautiful Grand Tutor, you were calling this for child, right? Do you two know each other?" she asked with surprise.

"Of course."

"Not at all!"

Their responses were said simultaneously but were completely contradictory.

Yan Ran raised his eyebrows. He hugged Shao Zitang by the neck, rueing, "That's not very cute, little Tangtang. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but you wound me with your callousness."

"Get off!" Shao Zitang fumed. He kicked away the man hanging on him.

Xia Yuqing's eyes shone, her mouth growing O-shaped again as she watched their exchange.

A wicked beauty seme! A haughty tsundere uke! Is this your way of getting back at Seme-sama for being lustyy and cheating on you?!