FFF-Class Trashero

Chapter 25: To where there’s good water! Go! Go!

“One, two, one, two~?”

This sensation of fist meeting flesh!

This feeling of rhythm that encourages ass to shake left and right!

Sieg’s screaming so refreshing like cider!

There was no reason to be reserved since this was a fantasy world native’s request. I would find the cat lost by Kid A for free, so how could I not listen to a single request of the lovely queen who had come in person.

We were carrying out the duty of a hero right now, and this for free too. I would have started on it a little quicker had I known how enjoyable and rewarding it was.

“St, stop—kugh?!”

“Sieg, you should attack all you like, too.”

I thrashed Sieg all over his body using my hands and feet. I was really going easy on him. I’d have to clear away his corpse if I were the slightest bit serious and so, I handled Sieg as carefully as I would glassware—my reputation points were precious, after all. But even so, I had no thoughts of ending it so simply.

I kept a fine balance while beating Sieg so that he wouldn’t collapse. Whenever he looked like he would fall left I would strike at his right side, vice versa.

‘… Uh? Looks like his legs are giving way?’

Lunging in, I grabbed Sieg by his hair with my left hand so he couldn’t fall down, and then rammed my knee up into his face.

“Euaghh-!?”

Sieg’s head flung straight backwards.

“Oh? Dear me.”

Perhaps I was too unrestrained in my excitement—the bunch of hair I’d gripped onto was ripped out, and on Sieg’s head appeared a bright white bald patch!

He wouldn’t die with that only that much, however; I continued with the duel.

“Sieg, how long are you going to only defend out of consideration?”

“Euaagh~”

Sieg’s eyes were unfocused as he howled like an animal. Perhaps his mind was muddled from the slight concussion to his head. It wasn’t a problem to be worried about much; I knew from having often experienced it before at Alex’s hands.

He could be healed as much as needed by using magic and healing blessings of this fantasy world. When you reached the standard of someone like the Saintess, my 1st Playthrough companion from the Holy Kingdom which neighbored this country I was in, you could raise the dead with a single prayer, just like that. On this aspect, this fantasy world was fantasy indeed.

▷Race: Arch-Human

▷Level: 3

▷Job: Hero(EXP 500%)

▷Skills: Interpretation(A) Stamina(F) Endurance(F) Fortitude(F) Keen Realization(F)

▷Status: Critical, Confusion, Sprain, Dislocation, Shock, Fear…

Sieg’s Status was being added to one after another in real-time. His condition was also a colorful line-up like a menu at a buffet.

Curiously, he wasn’t Level 1. According to the queen’s report, Sieg hadn’t so much as shown up near the hunting grounds after being taught a lesson by a wild boar’s tackle, yet he was Level 3. Maybe he had taken out a hundred rats in some storage or stable?

Every creature gave different amounts of EXP. If all creatures gave a fixed amount of EXP equivalent to one Level, then the Level of farmers and fishermen would be unbelievably high.

“Sieg, what is with you being Level 3. You should have gone hunting diligently.”

“…”

The EXP given by ordinary animals and plants was infinitesimal, so much so that it wasn’t worth diddly squat even with a Hero’s fivefold EXP perk; however, Sieg had wondrously raised his Level in a city without monsters in a short period of time. If not rats, then maybe he had killed some petty thieves.

In any case, it was meaningless before me.

“Hey? Sieg, look me in the face, will you.”

“…”

Sieg had lost consciousness after being beaten black and blue, bloodied all over. His face was as pale as a corpse’s, bloody froth dripping from his mouth.

‘He’s in this shape after a mere 3 minutes? God, not like he’s instant food or something…’

I relaxed the tension in my hands, and Sieg, who had become like a minced squid seasoned with chilli, collapsed to the ground swaying.

Thud.

“H-healer! Quickly go to Sir Hero…!”

“Heavens! Lord above!”

The rescue team that had been waiting on tenterhooks for the heroes’ spar to end moved swiftly, putting Sieg on a stretcher and moving him outside the training grounds. Immediately, the effect of magic and blessings was put to display.

Whiing—

As light permeated the injuries all over Sieg’s body, his wounds closed up at a quick rate. The swelling of his blue bruises disappeared, while new flesh appear to cover his ripped skin. His twisted bones became set to how they were, too. There were some parts that couldn’t be fixed right away, however—the teeth, and hair. Only these two things required steady treatment.

Ah! And there was one more.

“Ahbuh, aeugh…”

Psychological trauma was also a problem that needed be overcome alone. His recovery would hasten if a ‘Heart Elemental’, which could influence the spirit of the living and the dead, were to help, but even among Elves, Shamans who could handle those Elementals were extremely few.

With this, my business with Sieg was finished.

Next was Alex.

“Look here, Hero. Can’t you even differentiate between sparring and real combat? It looks like you’ve got a nasty hobby of tormenting the weak, but I’ll carve into your body what a truly strong individual is like.”

He took long strides towards me, admonishing me as he did.

I couldn’t even snort at what he said—what? Hobby of tormenting the weak? Did this punk even have a conscience?

▷Race: Human

▷Level: 291

▷Job: Swordsman(Stamina=Swordsmanship↑)

▷Skills: Swordsmanship(S) Stamina(A) Iron Wall(B) Tolerance(B) Fortitude(C)…

▷Status: Entertained

Alex’s Status hadn’t changed from the start of the 1st Playthrough, but even so he couldn’t be completely ignored, the reason being that someone like Alex was very much at a high standard in these peaceful times when war wasn’t rampant and people weren’t at each other’s throats for EXP. That didn’t matter to me, though.

I had properly experienced those war-torn periods. Together with the Oblivion Dragon King I scorched the half of the middle continent in the 2nd Playthrough, and massacred the demons including the Demon King Pedonar. I started a war by myself and even grasped hold of victory. EXP, proficiency, I had monopolized these two things to an unmeasurable extent; although, my Level ended up being reset.

“Is this deja vu?”

I didn’t dodge Alex’s fist that was aiming for my abdomen, but instead likewise threw a punch at his belly.

You get a hit, I get one too.

Alex responded at this with a ridiculing expression. This guy who had a whopping Level of 291 packed strong power behind his punch without conscience.

‘Let’s get it on, is that it? Oh I welcome it.’

Smack!

Wham-!

“Kugh-?!”

I was as sturdy as an iron wall, being stacked with countless Skills, but Alex who wasn’t like me clutched at his stomach and fell to his knees. his fist which had struck my abdomen was all bloodied.

Looking up at me, Alex’s eyes were asking this—how did you do it?

Thwack!

I had no obligation to answer, and my attack had yet to end; I launched a forceful kick at the Level 291 Alex’s head. It felt even more pleasant than when I was facing the Level 3 Sieg, as I didn’t need to adjust my strength as much.

“This, this… ack?!”

“Here I come again.”

Was he unable to consider he himself was weak, too? After grabbing hold the short hair of Alex who had fallen into a panic, I whirled him round in circles as if throwing a shot put and hurled him far.

Crash-!

The noise made by Alex’s landing was as loud as he was big.

“By the likes of a hero—kugh?!”

“Call me respectfully with a sir, you trifling small fry.”

I targeted the middle of his 4th and 5th lumbar vertebrae for the finisher. With leap high into the air, I slammed my knee down towards Alex’s back like a meteor and gifted him a chronic herniated lumbar disc.

Crack, cr-cr-crack.

‘I’ll be happy if he recalls my face every time his waist hurts.’

“You bastard…! Heuugh?!”

Alex, who had shot to his feet burning with rage, hastily clutched at his back and waist with both hands as he toppled down again.

It seemed he had gotten the disc good.

“Alex. Your orientation was fun.”

It was more enjoyable than the 2nd Playthrough!

From that day onward, I was exempted from Alex’s training.

*

*

*

Sweltering tropical nights had begun, and the middle continent was in chaos due to a drought.

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Even I, who was controlling the kingdom for free, was putting in effort in all aspects to minimize the damage caused by this drought. The difficulty of obtaining food was severe due to the lack of water.

‘Should I start a war or something to cut down the population?’

I was so busy that I didn’t even appear near the palace training grounds, but even so I could faintly hear conversations between Alex and Sieg from time to time. It was troubling in its own way when your hearing was too good.

“Sieg! Get up right now! Or do you want a knife to your ass? For you, resting is a luxury until you take revenge against that guy!”

“An-anymore is impo—guegh?!”

“Don’t give up! Sieg! You can do it! Don’t be afraid and come at me with the resolve to die! Magicians and healers are always on standby!”

“Aaaagh~~!?”

Although I didn’t know what kind of high-intensity training they were carrying out, Alex’s voice urging on Sieg, who wanted to give up every day, contained sincerity and zeal. His tone wasn’t playful like it was in my 1st Playthrough.

The relationship of the two was plain to see—delinquent student VS hot-blooded teacher.

I must have seen the sight of Sieg attempting escape during the night, unwilling to receive training, and then being caught by Alex and dragged back about 3 times. Truly not a promising fellow. However, Alex persevered and taught Sieg with passion. He even took on all of Sieg’s preposterous whining of not wanting to become strong as he guided him from dawn to late at night.

“Sieg! Your waist is open again! Come on!”

“Aagh~!? I’ll kill you! Alex! I’m gonna kill you!”

“Bear this in mind. You die when you lose your cool in a fight.”

“Kurrgh—uegh?! Kegh-kegh!”

A surprising change had come over Alex which I couldn’t see in the 1st Playthrough. He never got angry no matter how much Sieg cursed him, even though he pummeled me so hard when I swore or opposed him…

Sieg’s change was also dazzling.

▷Race: Arch-Human

▷Level: 3

▷Job: Hero(EXP 500%)

▷Skills: Interpretation(A) Murderous Intent(B) Swordsmanship(C) Keen Realization(C) Stamina(C)…

▷Status: Faint, Crazy, Stupid, Bleeding

He had made no progress in Level since he stayed all day long in the training grounds, but he had made a drastic improvement in his Skill ranks. His colorful status was somewhat worrying, but there would always be a price and side-effect that came with quick growth.

And to be honest, what had to be acknowledged, should be acknowledged—had Alex’s passion proved fruitful, perhaps?—In the same amount of time I trained, Sieg’s rate of growth was far faster than mine in the 1st Playthrough.

“Truly…”

I couldn’t not acknowledge the irresponsible Professor Morals method of education, tossing me one model student and telling me to learn by myself.

I could tell at a single glance—Sieg possessed greater talent to be a hero than I did. At that rate, perhaps he could break through the demons’ great army by himself and even slay the Demon King, even though I had taken 10 years to do that.

The truth felt heavy!

▷Perplexed: Excuse me, Student Kang Han Soo? What on earth is going on here…?

‘Oh my! Professor Morals! It’s truly been a while! As you can see, I was observing the model student.’

▷Headache: It is said that pouring cold water into a boiling pot does nothing more than killing the heat. The hero candidate I recommended is also still at an immature stage of development. His current shape does not appear normal no matter how I look.

‘… He doesn’t? Then I should kill him straight away. He was long suspicious, too.’

▷Startled: W-wait! One must always listen to the end when someone is speaking. Please calm down and hear me out again! Words unspoken are my slaves, whereas words spoken are my master. I was careless. What I was saying is that that hero candidate appears to be having a very hard time.

‘He does seem to be having a hard time with Alex’s one-sided love. Then should I kill Alex?’

▷Perplexed: Is there no other option aside from killing? I should think you have considered one or two at least.

‘Of course! … Strange though. I definitely had about a hundred ideas until this morning, but I must’ve forgotten them at that maid’s lovely tits. I’ll think about it again starting now.’

▷Suggestion: The weather is extremely hot as of recent. Two men make for a dreary picture, so how about taking a vacation with beautiful women at a place with good waters?

‘Professor Morals, I’m disappointed. Sieg is still 17, a minor. Although, by fantasy law, it’s permitted to couple starting from 16 for males and 15 for females.’

▷Shocked: I was referring to a sea or valley!

‘Ah, okay.’

This was a tricky condition to fulfil. Somewhere with pretty women and water. If this was Earth then I would have directly went to a beach resort, but…

“Ah…!”

Rustle.

I took the map at the corner of my office desk and spread it open. Currently, the kingdom was suffering due to the drought, but it wasn’t really as if crops couldn’t be planted because there was no place to procure water from.

There was an abundant water source, but it was merely that this water couldn’t be used, and the reason why was the vicious race monopolizing the huge lake they resided in.

Mermaids.

All we needed to do was take care of these fishes. The drought would be solved, Sieg Level would also rise, we’d get laid too, feast on raw fish, kill past compan… In any case, was I a genius, perhaps?

Professor Morals was vehemently against the idea, but Sieg was delighted.

“Will this be okay? I heard mermaids absolutely hate their home being intruded…”

“It’s fine if you don’t want to.”

“Who said I don’t! Hm-hm! Is there a mermaid princess too?”

“Of course.”

I recalled that she looked good, and tasted good, too.

“But Han Soo.”

“What?”

“Why are we going with so many people?”

We weren’t heading off with a cozy little elite group. My proposal had received the Dumpling King’s support.

I didn’t have even a smidgen of thought to go about it like in the 1st Playthrough, talking harmony and co-existence with the mermaids and putting up with all kinds of losses and concessions. The kingdom absolutely needed water to plant crops this year, and the mermaids place of living would become smaller if the lake water decreased.

This was a fight for survival. There was no room for compromise here.

“Don’t worry too much about the distribution of loot. There are about 5 mermaid princesses, but I’ll give them all to you.”

“I’m not talking about that, though…”

The snot-nosed Hero Sieg’s adventure had begun at last!

With 30,000 reliable companions in tow.