Go to Hell, White Lotus

[49. Extra: Smile in Tears]

Chen Tian had always remembered this one phrase he had once read on the TianYa Forum: In everyone’s life, there will be two men; one that is kept as a precious memory throughout life, and another that will bring you everlasting warmth.

The man who is kept as a precious memory had already flown far away on an international flight. No matter how long he gazed up at the sky with his tears rolling down his cheeks, that person would not come back.

The man who would bring him warmth, until now, had not appeared. For a long time, it was as if God was making fun of him. As his hair grew longer and longer, God ridiculed him more and more.

He remembered that person telling him, “When your hair reaches your shoulders, I’ll be back!!” Unfortunately, his hair had already reached his waist and that person had never returned.

Li Le Yuan. Occasionally he would recall that name in his dreams. At times, the dream would be too painful causing him to stay awake until sunrise.

Although many people may not believe this, Chen Tian was once very fat. Fat to the point that you could directly deliver him to the pork market to be sold. Therefore, for someone to say that they like a fat person like himself, Chen Tian was very surprised.

The one who said those words was Li Le Yuan. That morning he was woken up by the ringing of his phone. As he groggily answered, he heard those words. The voice from the youth was very pleasant, like the morning dew. “Chen Tian senior! I am a freshman, Li Le Yuan!”

Chen Tian was stunned for a moment and sleepily yawned: “Hello. Is there something?” “I like you!”

Li Shenzhou beside him who had pulled an all-nighter playing games heard those words and spat out the water in his mouth.

“Ah?” Chen Tian panicked to the point that his thoughts were a mess. Despite the other party already reporting his identity, he still asked, “Who are you?” “I am Li Le Yuan! The Le in music and the Yuan in reason! I like you! I am from the philosophy department.”

As I have mentioned at the beginning, Chen Tian is fat. I’m sure many of you don’t believe me. Chen Tian once, with a height of one metre eighty-two, weighed more than one hundred and ten kilograms. Now he still remained at a peak height of one metre eighty two, but only weighed about fifty something kilograms. Rich and considerate, and at the handsome age of twenty eight, the unmarried Chen Tian had many admirers.

The rarely serious Chen Tian, would quietly smoke while recalling past memories. Perhaps he would do this in the evening while watching the sun set, perhaps early in the morning as the sun rose, or even during a bright afternoon when the sun shone brightly above him. As long as he saw the sun, Chen Tian couldn’t help but think of someone. That person’s smile was bright like the sun. Li Le Yuan did not like to take photos so Chen Tian could only remember his voice and smile through his memories. With time, however, Chen Tian found that the things he could recall gradually reduced.

For example, he could still remember Li Le Yuan telling him: “Grow your hair long for me! I can’t bear having you get a tattoo but I want you to have something that you can remember me by when I’m not there so grow your hair!” When he said this, it was Chen Tian’s 108^th time making up his mind to lose weight. He stopped drinking his coke and gave him a nod.

And so, after all these years, Chen Tian looked at the figure in the mirror and would always think back to that person. That person on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean who had married a blond Westerner two years ago, got his green card, and left him and his love here.

At the airport, Li Le Yuan once said: “When your hair reaches your shoulders, I’ll be back!!”…Chen Tian pretended to act like he didn’t care despite his inner desire for his hair to grow faster.

His hair had always grown very slowly, so even after seven years, it had only reached his waist. That person who said he would return also did not come back.

Li Le Yuan you liar.

He was willing to be deceived and stubbornly kept the long hair that was incompatible with modern life as he waited for someone who would never return.

Chen Tian once asked Li Le Yuan: “Why do you like me?” At that time, Li Le Yuan was taking notes and the teacher was lecturing loudly.

“Probably because I thought you seemed pitiful all alone.” he said. “…” Chen Tian was made speechless by those words. “Then next time you see someone even more pitiful than me, will you fall in love with him?”

Li Le Yuan very seriously shook his head: “Impossible. You should know, I like someone who is meaty. I think that there won’t be another person who is as pitiful and as meaty as you.”

“…Hey!”

Li Le Yuan’s laugh interrupted him before he could retort: “Okay, let’s pay attention to class.”

Unfortunately after Li Le Yuan left Chen Tian became very ill. Lying in the hospital bed for a month, he had lost almost half his weight. The meat that Li Le Yuan liked “squeezing” was nowhere to be found. It wasn’t like he didn’t consider gaining back the weight but it looked like his weight had left him along with the departure of Li Le Yuan. It was like this for many things; the more you want it to return, the less likely it would.