Heart Flutter

Chapter 20

It was seven in the evening. On the greenway in the neighborhood, an older woman strolled with her golden retriever, while moths danced around the streetlamps. Everything took place in a quiet, soundless setting. After parking the car in the garage, Ji Yuqing stepped out to lock it. Tang Yan, holding a bag of groceries, waited at the entrance. A cool breeze brushed her sleeveless arms, making her shiver slightly. She stood there until her feet felt a bit numb, and she had no idea what Aunt Ji had been fiddling with in the car. After a while, Aunt Ji came over, locked the car, then took out a container of what looked like pills and placed it on top of the grocery bag in Tang Yan’s arms.

“I almost forgot this,” she said.

“What is it?” asked Tang Yan. It was too dark to see clearly.

“I asked a friend from the United States to bring it back for me—some multivitamin gummies. They are for you.”

Tang Yan was startled. “For me?”

As she spoke, Aunt Ji went to the door and keyed in the code. “They can boost your immunity, so you will not get sick as easily.”

It turned out Aunt Ji still remembered the incident on Monday. Tang Yan felt a little embarrassed whenever she thought about it. She did not want to come across as that fragile in front of Aunt Ji. Silently accepting the bottle of vitamins, she resolved to get stronger.

When Aunt Ji cooked, she generally did not make large portions, but she always prepared a variety of dishes. Even though it was just the two of them for dinner, she still made at least three to five dishes. Tang Yan’s job was to help out in the kitchen. Working together, they finished cooking the evening meal without a hitch.

At dinner, under the warm light, Ji Yuqing glanced at Tang Yan over her bowl and naturally asked, “You look a bit tanned. Have you been using sunscreen?”

Tang Yan paused, swallowed her mouthful of rice, and answered honestly, “I have not been using any.”

Only then did Ji Yuqing realize that Tang Yan, unlike many first-year students who had already started experimenting with makeup, probably never thought about sun protection. “Come to my room later. Take two bottles I have there. I found them pretty effective.”

“No, no, no,” Tang Yan protested, waving her hand repeatedly. “I am not used to those cosmetic products.”

In truth, it was not so much about being unused to them. Tang Yan had simply never come across any skincare items in her life; she had grown up with just one bottle of a basic cream and nothing else.

“Sunscreen is a type of skincare,” explained Ji Yuqing. “A young woman should take good care of her skin. You also do not have to resist the idea of makeup. Even if you do not wear it now, you will need to learn someday when you enter the workforce.”

Once they finished eating, Tang Yan still ended up following Aunt Ji into her room. She watched as Aunt Ji crouched before her vanity, opened a cupboard, and took out two unopened bottles of sunscreen spray, handing them to Tang Yan. “If you are diligent, reapply every four or five hours. If you do not have time, at least do it once a day. That way you will not get too tanned.”

Tang Yan stared at the label on the sunscreen bottle, which seemed to be in a foreign language she could not read. She nodded, only half understanding.

“It is not that darker skin is bad,” Aunt Ji went on. “It is just that ultraviolet rays can damage skin over time. Constant exposure makes your skin age faster. A little care will not hurt.”

“Thank you, Aunt Ji,” Tang Yan mumbled.

Carrying the two bottles of sunscreen back to her room, Tang Yan sat down at her desk. She could not help holding up the small mirror on the table and looking at her face. She was still young and had no skin issues yet—her cheeks were firm and full of collagen. But as Aunt Ji mentioned, she had indeed become a shade darker. All these eighteen years, Tang Yan had never really looked after her skin. She realized she had been living a bit too roughly.

Just then, her phone chimed with a message, pulling her away from her thoughts. She put down the mirror and checked her phone.

It was a message from Zhao Xiaoyun:

Yan Yan! I got on the train. I should arrive in Huadu tomorrow morning.

Tang Yan’s hands trembled with excitement, and she nearly dropped her phone. She hurriedly typed:

When did you leave? Why did you not tell me sooner?

Zhao Xiaoyun responded almost instantly with a nine-second video. The camera panned over a dense crowd of passengers, with nothing but heads as far as the eye could see. Outside the window, the scenery sped by in a blur.

Tang Yan noticed something in the video:

Xiaoyun, you… you do not have a seat, do you?

Zhao Xiaoyun replied:

No worries, I am sitting on my suitcase. It is basically the same as a hard seat.

Tang Yan gripped her phone and felt a wave of sadness. She had once spent more than twenty hours in a hard seat herself, so she understood how grueling it was. No matter what Xiaoyun said, there was no way that was comfortable.

When Tang Yan did not reply, Zhao Xiaoyun sent another message:

It is almost National Day, so a lot of tickets were sold out. I was lucky to get a standing ticket. Way too many people are heading to Huadu.

Tang Yan wrote:

Did you get something to eat before you got on? Take good care of your belongings—there are a lot of people on the train.

Zhao Xiaoyun answered:

I am not three years old. Of course I ate if I was hungry. And I only have a few thousand yuan on me, who would bother stealing that?

Tang Yan typed back:

A few thousand yuan is still money, you know.

Zhao Xiaoyun joked:

All right, I will be careful. Hey, are you still in the middle of military training? Am I going straight to your campus tomorrow?

Tang Yan replied:

I have a day off tomorrow. Just tell me what time you arrive, and I will pick you up at the station.

Zhao Xiaoyun wrote:

Sounds good, let me check the ticket.

A moment later, she messaged again:

It should be around ten thirty in the morning.

Tang Yan answered:

All right. I will get up early tomorrow.

It was a small matter, and she preferred not to trouble Aunt Ji. Tang Yan believed she could manage on her own. She already felt she had inconvenienced Aunt Ji far too many times.

Meanwhile, on the balcony, Ji Yuqing rested an arm on the railing. Outside, the neatly trimmed greenery planted by the building management exuded a strong fragrance of osmanthus blossoms, adding a soothing scent to the night that helped ease the day’s fatigue.

This was the second phone call Tang Yan’s mother had made since Tang Yan arrived in Huadu two weeks ago. She was asking about her daughter’s situation. Over the phone, Ji Yuqing praised Tang Yan to the skies, sparing no words of admiration.

Hearing that, Tang Huiyi finally sounded relieved. “I owe you, Yuqing,” she said. “Thank you for looking after her.”

Switching the phone to her other hand, Ji Yuqing asked, “If you want to know how she is doing, why not just call her directly? I am sure Yan Yan would be happy.”

In the background, a child’s faint crying and fussing could be heard. Tang Huiyi’s voice came through again. “I never really acted like a proper mother all these years. Better not. If she is doing fine, that is enough for me to know.”

Sensing it was not her place to push further, Ji Yuqing dropped the subject. After all, the situation they found themselves in partly had to do with her as well. Whatever choice her senior had made was her right to make.

In the top drawer of Ji Yuqing’s desk, there was an opened letter that had arrived about a month earlier. She had only known about it after getting a call from the local post office. The sender was Tang Yan’s mother, Tang Huiyi. The letter read:

[Hello, Yuqing. We have not seen each other for almost eighteen years since I wrote you this letter. Let me greet you properly.

All these years, every time you changed your phone number, you would send it to my email, but I never replied. After thinking it over, I realized some things are better expressed in writing.

I decided to have Yan Yan, and she turned eighteen this year. She is very bright and hardworking and just got accepted to Huadu University. I have not been much of a mother to her, and I owe her far too much. Now she is leaving home for a city that is unfamiliar to her, and I cannot go with her. I remembered you once said if I ever had any troubles, I could come to you. Right now I am in more trouble than ever. I do not want Yan Yan to face all these challenges alone. I really have no other choice but to ask for your help.

I got married and had a baby boy last year. My husband’s family treats me fairly well, but at this stage, I am simply not able to leave; I cannot go to Huadu. So I was hoping you could look after Yan Yan. I would feel better knowing she had you there, if you are still able to see this letter.]

After reading through the letter once more, Ji Yuqing placed it back in the top drawer. Perhaps it was all guided by fate.

Early the next day, Tang Yan rose at dawn, washed up, and dressed. By about seven o’clock, she was ready to head out. She studied the map she had gone over the night before—after walking a few hundred meters from the neighborhood gate, she would get on the subway, make a couple of transfers, and eventually reach the train station.

Not wanting to disturb Aunt Ji’s rest, Tang Yan tiptoed out and sent a simple message:

[Aunt Ji, my friend is arriving in Huadu today, so I am heading to the train station to meet her.]

She hoisted her backpack, stepped outside, and saw the sun just peeking over the horizon. She wore a long-sleeved T-shirt and comfortable pants. Things went smoothly at first; following the navigation app, she found the subway station, though she struggled to buy a ticket and needed help from a kind young woman. Tang Yan considered herself hopelessly clumsy, but it was her first time taking the subway. She would get used to it.

Partway through the trip, she got off at her first transfer station. Unfamiliar with the place and slightly overwhelmed by the crowd, she felt disoriented. She had imagined a simple switch, where the connecting train would be right across the platform, but that was not how it worked. Nothing on the signs showed her destination, so she huffed and puffed her way up the stairs. Just then, her phone rang—it was Aunt Ji, sounding anxious.

“Why did you go off on your own?” she asked. “You did not even tell me you were going to pick up a friend. Where are you now? I will come find you.”

Aunt Ji sounded upset. Tang Yan had no choice but to explain her current situation, telling her which station she was at and that she did not know how to transfer.

“Stay right there,” said Ji Yuqing. “I will come get you.”

Tang Yan heard the blare of a car horn from the other end of the line. She realized Aunt Ji must have driven out to find her. By trying not to trouble her, Tang Yan had caused an even bigger hassle. After hanging up, she stayed put, waiting obediently.

Worry weighed heavily on Ji Yuqing’s mind. Tang Yan was, after all, a young girl in an unfamiliar city. The subway station happened to be near a busy pedestrian street with no good place to park. Pressed for time, Aunt Ji left her car in the mall’s underground parking lot and hurried on foot into the subway station.

“You had me so worried, running off with just a text,” said Ji Yuqing breathlessly when she finally reached Tang Yan.

Tang Yan lowered her head apologetically. “I did not want to disturb your rest.”

Sighing in exasperation, Ji Yuqing took Tang Yan’s wrist. “Come on.”

Realizing they were not heading toward an exit, Tang Yan asked, “Isn’t it that way out?”

“I am going to show you how to transfer so you can do it by yourself next time,” replied Aunt Ji, already walking ahead.

Tang Yan felt silly for not figuring it out herself and having to rely on Aunt Ji to teach her.

Despite her initial frustration, Aunt Ji was not truly angry. She had only been worried that Tang Yan left on her own so suddenly, and that worry had made her sound harsh. Under her guidance, Tang Yan finally understood how to transfer lines. They joined the crowd onto the subway, lucky enough to be at the front of the line and find seats.

Everyone else who boarded afterward had to stand, and Tang Yan glanced around. “There are so many people.”

“This station is always crowded,” said Aunt Ji. “Back when I was in school, I almost never got a seat.”

They sat quietly for three stops before they had to get off for the second transfer. Tang Yan prepared to stand up, and in that moment, Ji Yuqing happened to notice a spreading red stain on Tang Yan’s pants—large enough to be visible once she moved.

Tang Yan herself had no idea. She got up to exit the subway, but suddenly felt two arms reach around her waist from behind. Turning her head, she realized Aunt Ji had taken off her own jacket and was tying it around Tang Yan’s waist.