Heart Flutter

Chapter 46

“I should still help you carry her back to her room. That was how we usually did it.” Pei Wen refused to let go, so Tang Yan could only step forward and support Aunt Ji’s other arm. Still, Pei Wen’s comment just now sounded a bit odd to her.

Working together, they managed to help Aunt Ji back to her bedroom. Afterward, Pei Wen prepared to leave but paused at the door. “It really was not easy for Yuqing to get to where she was today on her own. I hope you can take good care of her.”

“I will,” Tang Yan promised. She nodded, then watched Pei Wen walk out and close the door behind her.

Returning to the bedroom, Tang Yan went into the bathroom and filled a basin with warm water. Aunt Ji was lying sideways on the bed, her legs still hanging off the edge, making it easier for Tang Yan to remove her shoes and wash her feet. Peeling off her socks revealed a pair of pale, delicate feet. They were as white and flawless as ever, the kind of smooth fairness that seemed to glow.

Tang Yan swore to herself that she was only helping Aunt Ji wash her feet properly and had no other thoughts whatsoever.

Once she finished, Tang Yan took the basin of water back to the bathroom. She then grabbed a small towel for washing one’s face, soaked it, wrung it out, and came back to wipe Aunt Ji’s face. Discovering that Aunt Ji was still wearing makeup, she carefully picked up some makeup remover from the bathroom cabinet and attempted to remove it for her.

Aunt Ji’s skin was exceptionally good. Even with her makeup taken off, she looked no different from before—still rosy and flawless, with no visible pores. If anything stood out, it was the dark circles under her eyes, probably caused by her frequent late nights at work.

Tang Yan leaned over the bed with a cotton pad and the makeup remover, trying not to stare for too long at Aunt Ji’s sleeping face. She realized she had never really had an opportunity like this before and suddenly felt a bit guilty and furtive, as though she was doing something she should not.

After removing Aunt Ji’s makeup, Tang Yan wiped her face with gentle, careful movements, afraid of applying too much pressure.

She then turned away to return the towel to the bathroom when she heard a loud thump from outside. Startled, she quickly hung the towel and rushed out to see what happened. Aunt Ji had rolled from the bed onto the floor. Panicking, Tang Yan hurried over to check on her. It seemed she really was deeply intoxicated, as she showed no response at all.

“Aunt Ji, I’m going to help you get back into bed,” Tang Yan said, reaching out to take her arm.

Unexpectedly, Ji Yuqing rolled over and pinned Tang Yan to the floor, throwing one leg over her waist. Tang Yan was completely immobilized.

She could feel Aunt Ji’s warm, wine-scented breath brushing against her face, and it made her head spin a little.

Tang Yan shook herself mentally, telling herself to stay focused—the floor was too cold for sleeping, and she needed to move Aunt Ji back to the bed quickly.

She tried to shift her body, but Aunt Ji was holding her firmly. Tang Yan finally managed to turn onto her side and attempted to lift Aunt Ji in one move. However, the moment she did, Aunt Ji’s arm tensed, and their lips accidentally pressed together.

Tang Yan’s mind buzzed as though a small train had run through it. She felt her ears grow hot, as if they were about to start smoking.

In the next instant, she jolted away. The soft, sweet sensation lingered in her mind—this was her first kiss.

But there was no time to dwell on that. Blushing all over, Tang Yan forced herself to carry Aunt Ji back to the bed and covered her with a blanket. Then she turned off the bedroom light and went out.

Once in the living room, Tang Yan downed three glasses of water in a row. Even then, she still felt her cheeks burning. She pressed a hand against her face, but it was no use—it was every bit as hot as before. Panic rose within her. She had no idea how to handle this.

She could not help recalling the first time she accidentally saw Aunt Ji completely naked, along with how stunning she had looked in a bikini. The more she thought about it, the more flustered she became. Her face felt like it was on fire, she could not control her thoughts, and a feverish heat took over her whole body.

Suddenly, a liquid gushed from her nose. Tang Yan reached up to touch it and realized it was blood.

With that, she lost her composure entirely and ran to the bathroom to clean up. After a frantic scramble, she finally managed to stop the bleeding.

She then splashed her face with cold water. Looking at herself in the mirror, her cheeks were still flushed, and droplets of water clung to her skin. She braced herself against the sink, her heart beating so fast it felt like it might leap out of her chest. She realized… she seemed to be in love with Aunt Ji.

That realization left Tang Yan in disbelief. How could she have fallen for someone who was so much older—someone who could practically be her aunt—and a woman at that?

She was not even sure how she found her way back to her own room. Sitting blankly at the foot of her bed for a long time, she noted the clock on her bedside table inch closer to midnight.

She felt lost, uncertain how to cope. It felt as if she had overstepped some boundary, broken a forbidden rule, leaving her heart pounding and her mind reeling.

At last, Tang Yan got up and sat at her desk, feeling she needed to record all of this somehow.

She opened her diary, which was already about a quarter filled, and turned to the next blank page. Selecting a pen from the holder, she hesitated for a long time before finally writing, slowly, carefully:

[It was midnight, and I wanted to record a few things.

Lately, my emotions had been all over the place, my mind full of scattered thoughts, but now I felt I finally discovered the root of it all: it was Aunt Ji.

I found myself worrying about whether she had someone else in her life. I felt uneasy when she stayed out too late and did not come home. I focused on her likes and dislikes, wanting to learn more about her past. Whenever I heard about something that happened to her, it hurt me to think about her hardships. I had fallen for her, deeply and completely.

I could not stop thinking about her, and I paid attention to anything connected to her. I even started liking everything she liked.

I believed I was falling in love with her—yes, I was in love with Aunt Ji. I was terrified that I could feel this way, to the point that I did not know how to face my own feelings. If she knew, she would definitely be disgusted with me. She would think I was disgusting.

So I decided to keep these feelings locked up inside. I would hide them where no one could see. I did not want her to hate me or see me as a freak. I just wanted to stay by her side a little longer, like this, even if it was only a little while more.]

Once she finished writing, Tang Yan closed her diary and returned the pen to its holder.

Pouring everything out onto the page had eased her agitation and anxiety somewhat. She leaned back in her chair, stretched her arms, and slowly closed her eyes, drifting off to sleep from exhaustion.

On Sunday morning, Ji Yuqing woke up with a pounding headache. Pressing her fingers to her temples, she got out of bed and shuffled into the bathroom. As she habitually prepared to remove her makeup, she discovered her face was already wiped clean. Feeling puzzled, she glanced down and saw that the makeup remover on the sink had been used and left uncapped. One person immediately came to mind.

After washing up, she opened the door and walked out. Tang Yan was already in the open kitchen making breakfast. Ji Yuqing called to her, “Yan Yan!”

Tang Yan’s hand, which was holding a ladle, trembled slightly. She looked up, and the moment their eyes met, she became visibly flustered.