Heart Flutter

Chapter 58

Ji Yuqing sat on a tall barstool in the living room, a cocktail she had mixed herself in one hand and her phone pressed to her ear in the other. “I’m fine. You’re still awake?”

Her voice carried through the phone with a magnetic, almost unreal quality. It wrapped itself around Tang Yan’s heart in an instant, causing it to thump faster and faster. Tang Yan instinctively pressed a hand against her chest, trying to calm herself so Aunt Ji would not notice her emotions.

“Not yet,” Tang Yan said. “I have a lot of notes to catch up on.”

Ji Yuqing took a small sip of her drink. The sweet, boozy taste was not very strong. “Make sure you go to bed early.”

“All right,” Tang Yan agreed. There was a brief silence, and then she remembered something. “Aunt Ji, your leg still isn’t healed. Please be careful at home.”

Ji Yuqing chuckled. “I see. So you called because you were worried about me, right?”

“Y-yes.” On the other end of the line, Tang Yan’s face burned.

“I’m all right. You don’t need to worry. I’m not so old or frail that I can’t move at all. Just focus on your studies at school and don’t worry about anything else. If there’s anything you need, call or send me a message. I’ll take care of it.”

Tang Yan bit her lip, her emotions in turmoil. Even in this situation, Aunt Ji was still thinking about her. Yet she herself could do nothing in return, not even stay by her side to look after her. Tang Yan felt both touched and guilty.

“Then, Aunt Ji, please make sure you rest well at home. Try not to work right now—taking care of yourself is the most important thing.”

She heard another burst of laughter from Ji Yuqing. “My goodness. You sound just like Peiwen, fussing over me. I know how to take care of myself, so don’t worry.”

Tang Yan pursed her lips. The love she felt inside stayed hidden, and her aunt could never understand it. That sense of holding it all in felt unbearable.

Surely Aunt Ji had no idea; it would never cross her mind. She probably did not know that the young girl she cared for harbored such thoughts about her. Whenever Tang Yan pondered this, she felt a surge of self-disgust.

“All right then…” Tang Yan murmured. She quickly added, “Get some rest, Aunt Ji. I’m going to take a shower.”

“Okay. Bye-bye.”

“Bye…” Tang Yan reluctantly ended the call and stared at her phone screen for a long moment.

Meanwhile, Ji Yuqing set her phone down on the bar, switched off the screen, and took a large gulp of her cocktail. Her eyes betrayed a trace of sorrow.

Before long, she finished the glass. She set it aside and carefully slid down from the barstool, picking up her crutch. Step by step, she slowly made her way to the light switch in the living room, flicked it off, and let the bedroom light guide her.

Again, she propped herself on the crutch and inched forward until she reached the bedroom door. After going inside, she closed the door behind her. With her injured leg, everything took more effort than before—especially showering at night. She worried about slipping, and she had to avoid getting her bandaged leg wet.

But she was a proud woman. She refused to speak of her difficulties or show them to others. She would rather endure everything alone than let anyone see her in such a humbled state.

It took her nearly two hours to finish her bath and clean the bathroom. Only after putting on her nightgown and hobbling back out with her crutch did she finally sink onto her bed, feeling a sense of release through her entire body.

Rolling onto her side, she happened to face a photo on the nightstand. She reached over and picked it up. The photo had been taken ten years earlier, and it showed her smiling mother standing beside her. Back then, her mother had not been as old and frail as she was now, and the illness had not yet struck. At that time, with her financial freedom, Ji Yuqing had just rescued her mother from a difficult life. Every evening when she came home from work, there had been a hot meal waiting.

The memory made her nose sting. Clutching the framed photo to her chest, she recalled how the doctor had explained at the time that her mother’s condition would worsen and that each additional day her mother lived would be borrowed time. Because of her own recent injury, Ji Yuqing had been unable to visit her mother and had no idea how much time they might still have together. If one day her mother passed away, she herself would truly be alone in this world.

—

When Tang Yan finished her shower and climbed into her dorm bed, she found it uncomfortably small. She tossed and turned, creating enough noise to draw the attention of Xia Zihan, who was lying on the bed across from her with a face mask on.

“Tang Yan, what’s up with you, tossing and turning like that? Do you have something on your mind?” Xia Zihan asked.

Before Tang Yan could reply, Han Shuang, from the next bed, spoke up in a teasing tone. “Could it be you’re in love?”

“It’s possible,” Xia Zihan agreed. “A lovestruck girl might have trouble sleeping at night.”

“That’s not it,” Tang Yan said, sitting upright. She climbed out of bed and took several large gulps of water from her bottle.

“By the way,” Xia Zihan said, “a few of us in the dorm are single. Singles’ Day is almost here—maybe we’ll have a chance to stop being single?”

“Not me,” Han Shuang said with a pout. “I tried flirting with a senior, but he said I was too young.”

Xia Zihan gave a mischievous grin. “Too young in what sense?”

“Oh, stop,” Han Shuang retorted. “He said I was literally too young. He’s only about three years older than me. Honestly, I think it’s just an excuse.”

“You have your eye on a senior who’s in his fourth year?” Lu Wan asked. “Well, that explains it. He’ll be graduating in half a year—he doesn’t have time for a first-year girlfriend. Even if he agreed now, you’d probably break up by the time he graduates.”

Han Shuang refused to accept that. “Am I really that unappealing? How do you know I couldn’t keep him?”

Lu Wan laughed while tidying her blankets. “He already turned you down. He isn’t even giving you a chance to ‘keep him.’ Talking about it now won’t change anything.”

“You’re only saying that because you already have a boyfriend,” Han Shuang said sourly. “Of course you don’t have to worry.”

“That’s why I always say you should start dating early,” Lu Wan replied. “We may have more freedom at college, but a lot of the good ones are taken by now. I started dating in high school.”

Hearing that, Xia Zihan turned her attention to Tang Yan. “Oh yeah, Tang Yan, did you ever date anyone back in high school?”

Tang Yan nearly choked on her water. She blinked before answering, “You mean… early romance? No, I didn’t.”

She had been too focused on her studies to consider dating. Otherwise, with her grades, she might not have gotten into Huadu University.

“That’s such a pity,” Xia Zihan sighed, recalling her own first love and flashing a starry-eyed grin. “But come on, Tang Yan, what kind of guy do you like? You must have some preference.”

Tang Yan had been about to climb back into bed when she froze, her expression a little stiff. “I… I haven’t really thought about it.”

Han Shuang leaned over the side of her own bed, peering at Tang Yan’s pillow. “I know lots of people. Tell me what type you like, and I’ll find someone who fits.”

Tang Yan sat back on her bed, feeling grateful but torn. After all, she already cared for Aunt Ji.

“No, thank you,” she declined politely. “I’m not looking to date right now.”

Han Shuang looked disappointed. “That’s a shame. College is the best time to fall in love—otherwise your youth might feel wasted. Once you enter the working world, you won’t have that kind of pure, carefree romance anymore.”

“Actually, there was someone I liked,” Tang Yan admitted. “But she’s so amazing that I want to make myself better before trying to pursue her.”

Catching the whiff of gossip, Xia Zihan perked up. “Who is it? Someone we know, or someone from another school?”

Tang Yan’s face reddened. She shook her head. “She’s not a student. She’s older than me and already working.”

Han Shuang frowned. “You’re not into some older guy, are you? You have to be careful—it’s easy for men like that to take advantage.”

“Yes,” Lu Wan chimed in. “You hear so many stories about older men conning young women, leaving them pregnant, only to find out they’re married.”

Tang Yan lowered her gaze, a shy smile on her lips. “She wouldn’t lie to me.”

Across from her, Xia Zihan clicked her tongue and shook her head. “Oh no… you really like some older man who’s probably married? Don’t go down the wrong path.”

Tang Yan understood that they were on entirely different wavelengths, yet she still felt a rush of excitement at sharing her little secret. “That’s not the case at all. She’s single—she isn’t married.”

“Well, that’s all right, then. Just be careful and don’t get scammed,” Xia Zihan said.

Tang Yan nodded, her cheeks flushing. She felt like a girl in the throes of springtime infatuation, so smitten that even the idea of being tricked by Aunt Ji seemed sweetly appealing.