Heart Flutter

Chapter 60

When she heard that, Tang Yan’s mind went blank for a moment, and she stood there in a daze. Just as she was about to say something, Shen Yuyin interrupted her. Shen Yuyin burst into laughter and said, “Alright, I was just kidding.” After saying this, she quickly turned around and left the dance floor.

Tang Yan did not know what to do, so she had no choice but to chase after her. Shen Yuyin went back to the bar and ordered a rather strong drink, gulping it down in big mouthfuls. “Senior, you really should drink less,” Tang Yan said.

“It’s fine. Today was a pretty good day, so I should loosen up and have a drink. If you won’t drink with me, I’ll find someone else to do it,” Shen Yuyin replied, sitting at the bar with her back to Tang Yan, showing no intention of turning around.

Tang Yan felt awkward, not knowing whether to stay or leave.

Grabbing a bottle of alcohol from the bartender, Shen Yuyin swiveled her chair around to look at Tang Yan and said, “I’m going to hang out with them. If you feel like leaving, just go.”

Tang Yan nodded without saying a word.

As Shen Yuyin stood up and walked past her, Tang Yan did not follow. She stood there for a few more seconds before deciding to head for the exit.

Halfway across the room, Shen Yuyin squatted down and turned to look back, only to find that Tang Yan was no longer in the same spot. She couldn’t help feeling disappointed but forced herself to appear cheerful as she pulled her friends together to enjoy that expensive bottle of liquor, trying to put the failed confession of the night behind her.

Once Tang Yan stepped out of the bar, the world seemed to grow much quieter. The noisy chatter was replaced by an almost still silence.

Walking alone on the street behind the campus’s north gate, she felt the cold wind brushing against the back of her neck. She passed couples walking hand in hand and also some who were on their own, just like her.

The weather had turned cold, and there was a small stand outside the gate giving off a mouthwatering aroma. Under a dim lightbulb, the owner stood waiting for customers. Only then did Tang Yan realize she had not had dinner yet. A fellow student bought a roasted corn on the cob, and in the light, she could see steam rising from it.

Her stomach rumbled a few times. Placing her hand over it, she pressed her lips together, hesitated for a moment, and finally walked up to the stand after that other student finished paying.

“Miss, what would you like? I’ve got roasted sweet potatoes and roasted corn, hot and delicious. They’ll warm you right up,” said the owner.

Tang Yan put her hands in her coat pockets and looked around before finally saying, “I’ll have a roasted sweet potato, please.”

“Coming right up!”

With practiced ease, the owner took one out of the stove, wrapped it up in a bag, and handed it to her.

“How much?” Tang Yan asked, taking out her wallet.

“Five yuan.”

After paying, she held the piping hot sweet potato in her hands as she walked back toward campus. Its warmth spread through her palms, and the smell made her mouth water.

Realizing that her dorm room would be empty at this time, she decided to find a bench, sit down, and savor her sweet potato in peace. Hunger made her take a huge bite right away, which scalded her tongue. It hurt, but she still carefully took another bite. She wondered what Aunt Ji might be doing all alone at that moment. She really missed her.

The more she thought about it, the less appealing the sweet potato became. She finally understood what it meant in books when they wrote of longing so deep it spoiled one’s appetite. It turned out such a feeling truly existed.

Meanwhile, Ji Yuqing set down a pencil that had broken in half. After staring at the person she had drawn, she picked up her phone and scrolled through her contacts until she decided to call a certain number.

Tang Yan was still sitting alone on a bench, eating her roasted sweet potato, when her phone in her pocket suddenly rang. She quickly freed one hand to take it out. To her surprise, the caller ID showed “Aunt Ji.” Feeling slightly flustered, she answered immediately, swallowed the mouthful of sweet potato, and lifted the phone to her ear.

“Aunt Ji!”

She could almost hear Ji Yuqing smile through the phone. “What are you doing right now?”

Tang Yan looked at the half-eaten sweet potato on her lap and answered honestly, “I’m eating a roasted sweet potato.”

“Haven’t you been out with your classmates?” Ji Yuqing asked.

“I just came back from a bar… It was a club gathering, but I didn’t drink! I found it boring, so I headed back on my own,” Tang Yan explained.

“So you really took Aunt Ji’s words to heart. I’m relieved. Are you already on your way back to the dorm?”

Tang Yan glanced around and quickly replied, “Yes, I’m on my way now. Aren’t you sleeping yet, Aunt Ji?”

“Not yet. You popped into my mind, so I thought I’d give you a call and ask how you’ve been at school.”

“How’s your leg feeling, Aunt Ji?” Tang Yan asked.

“It’s much better.”

“That’s good.”

They continued chatting in a somewhat random but comforting way. The warm sweet potato soothed Tang Yan’s stomach, but Aunt Ji’s call warmed her heart.

“What would you like to eat this weekend?” asked Ji Yuqing. “I’ll pick something up at the supermarket.”

“No need. I can buy the ingredients myself and cook! You just relax, Aunt Ji.”

“Alright, alright. Then I’ll just stay home and wait to taste your cooking. How are your classes going?”

“They’re going pretty well. I got the highest score in my class on the midterm. My professor said I should keep working hard and maybe I could earn a scholarship at the end of the semester!”

Over the phone, Ji Yuqing could clearly sense Tang Yan’s enthusiasm and confidence, and she couldn’t help sharing her excitement. “That’s wonderful! Our Yan Yan is that amazing. Keep it up.”

“Aunt Ji, make sure you go to bed early tonight. That’s the only way your leg will heal faster.”

“Alright, alright, I’ll do as you say. You get back to your dorm and rest, too, and don’t push yourself too hard. Remember to eat well.”

Ending the call with a contented sigh, Tang Yan rose from the bench. She peeled off the sweet potato’s skin, eating as she walked, her heart brimming with joy.

Even the sweet potato tasted sweeter now. It turned out that having a crush on someone wasn’t always painful—sometimes it had its own sweetness. Two things made Tang Yan happiest: her studies and Aunt Ji.

After hanging up, Ji Yuqing tidied up the documents on her desk, picked up her coat from the back of her chair, draped it over her arm, and used a cane to walk out of her office. She turned off the lights behind her.

She noticed there was still a dim light on somewhere outside, so someone else had not left yet. Walking closer, she saw it was Pei Wen.

“You’re still here?” she asked.

Pei Wen, who had been dozing off, jumped at the sound of her voice and shot to her feet. “Sis, are you heading back now?”

“Yes,” Ji Yuqing said with a faint smile. “I thought I’d head home and get some sleep. I can deal with the rest of the work tomorrow.”

“Got it.” Pei Wen hurriedly grabbed her bag and car keys. “Sis, let me drive you back.”

Ji Yuqing nodded lightly.

Pei Wen drove her home, yawning all the while, and then rushed off to her own place. In the end, staying so late was worth it—at least she could be sure her sister got home safely. It was certainly better than letting her take some random stranger’s car in the middle of the night, especially given how often things happened on late-night rideshare trips these days.

When Tang Yan returned to her dorm room, it was exactly as she had expected—she was by herself. That was not necessarily a bad thing. It meant she could take her time showering, then settle down to write in her journal. Afterward, she could slip on her earphones, open the book next to her pillow, and immerse herself in reading. She acted as though nothing that happened at the bar that evening mattered at all; such was her carefree personality.

After who knew how long, her dormmates, who had gone out for a social event, trickled back in groups. The once-quiet dorm quickly filled with chatter. Everyone buzzed about who had met which handsome guy or which girl’s dress looked the nicest. Meanwhile, it was as if there was an invisible barrier around Tang Yan’s bed that shielded her in her own peaceful world.

Just then, the music in Tang Yan’s earphones suddenly cut off and was replaced by the sound of her ringtone. She set down her book and checked her phone to confirm that there was indeed a call coming in—from Shen Yuyin. She hesitated for two seconds before answering.

“Senior? Do you need something?”

On the other end, there was only quiet sobbing. No words, just soft cries.

Worried, Tang Yan asked again, “Senior, what’s wrong? Did something happen?”

“I feel terrible… I really, really feel terrible…”

“Senior, where are you right now?” Tang Yan pressed.

“I’m by the West Lake on campus. Will you come?”

“Wait for me! I’m on my way!” Tang Yan leaped off her bed and pulled on some clothes as fast as she could. Even Xia Zihan was startled by her sudden flurry of movement.

“What’s going on? Where are you rushing off to?”

“There’s something urgent,” Tang Yan answered, bending down to tie her shoelaces. Grabbing her phone, she dashed out the door.

All sorts of jumbled thoughts flooded Tang Yan’s mind as she ran, none of them good. She especially worried that being alone by the West Lake might mean her senior was about to do something drastic, and if anything bad happened, it would be too late.

When she finally arrived, she spotted a person standing unsteadily by the lake. At any moment, it looked like this figure might collapse. Tang Yan immediately sped up.

“Senior!” she called out to the silhouette from behind.

Shen Yuyin turned around, tears smudging her makeup. Her eye shadow and mascara had run, making her look both pitiful and defeated.

“Tang Yan, you came…”

“I was worried something was wrong,” Tang Yan said, biting her lip. “Why are you out here alone? Where are the others?”

Shen Yuyin shook her head and simply sat down on the ground. “I don’t enjoy their company. Will you just sit with me for a bit? Just for a while.”

Tang Yan couldn’t bring herself to say no. She took a seat beside her. The surface of the lake shimmered under the streetlights, rippling gently in the night breeze.

“Let me tell you about my life,” Shen Yuyin said.

Before Tang Yan could reply, Shen Yuyin launched into her story.

“For as long as I can remember, I’ve been someone other people envied—I come from a wealthy family, I drive a nice car, and I live in a big house. But no one understands the emptiness I feel inside. Tang Yan, do you know that feeling?”

Tang Yan shook her head without hesitation. Her response was honest.

For a moment, Shen Yuyin looked slightly taken aback, then lowered her head with a self-deprecating laugh. “It’s alright. Even if you don’t understand, that’s fine. Maybe it just sounds like I’m complaining about nothing.”

She paused, then continued, “Growing up, I never really had genuine friends. My mother wanted me to become a business powerhouse, so she forced me to do all sorts of things I hated. But because of my family’s complicated situation, I’ve always felt guilty, like none of these things truly belonged to me—like they shouldn’t have been mine to begin with. I’ve lived in her shadow ever since I was little.”

“Who… is she?” Tang Yan asked cautiously.

Looking straight at Tang Yan, Shen Yuyin said, “You would never guess. She’s someone you can’t even imagine.”