Heart Flutter

Chapter 8

How large was Huadu University exactly? It was so big that you could run into a bus on the road—a bus that operated only within the campus and did not serve the public, making it convenient for students and teachers to travel between classes.

The registration site was located in the university library, which was said to be the largest library in Huadu. Not only did it have a long history and great historical significance, but it also preserved many rare, out-of-print books, connecting the ancient and modern worlds.

Everything in front of her looked incredibly new to Tang Yan. The small place where she had stayed before had never shown her towering, ancient buildings, Western-style halls, or such a clean and tidy campus. All the young men and women who walked by were brimming with confidence and youthful energy. Each person’s face reflected a kind of self-assurance that Tang Yan longed to possess.

“Hey, you were spacing out—it’s your turn now.” Standing behind her, Xia Zihan gave her a gentle push to remind her.

There were two ways to pay tuition. One was to pay on the spot when signing up, and the other was to pay through a page on the university’s official website. After registration, they could follow the line into another passageway to collect the materials for military training.

Tang Yan was not exactly short, standing at 165 centimeters, and her slender frame made her look even taller. At a simple weigh-in, she was only 85 jin. Right behind her was Xia Zihan, who was about the same height but weighed 125 jin, which was within the normal, healthy range. Although she was not overweight, she looked a bit chubby next to Tang Yan.

When the teacher handing out the military training uniforms glanced at Tang Yan’s recorded height, he initially took a size 170 uniform but changed his mind and gave her a size 165 set instead. Xia Zihan received a size 170 uniform and complained about it the entire way back.

“Ugh, why was I so heavy?” She even reached up to pinch her own cheeks as she spoke.

Tang Yan smiled and said, “Actually, you’re not heavy at all—you look pretty healthy.”

“No way. I’m starting a diet today!”

“How did you get so thin? Teach me your secret.” Xia Zihan pestered her for tips.

In truth, Tang Yan did not have any special method. She had grown up in her uncle’s house, where she was not well-liked by the adults, and she never dared to express her own thoughts. Even if there was a dish on the table she really liked, she never dared to eat much. All the tasty food went to her cousin first, and only after he had eaten his fill would she get whatever was left. By then, Tang Yan usually had no appetite left.

Perhaps she had developed a bird-like stomach over the years. She always felt full after just a little food and, most of the time, did not take much interest in eating.

From what she could remember, it seemed the only time she ever ate a lot was at Aunt Ji’s place. Aunt Ji had prepared a lavish spread, and Tang Yan actually ate two bowls of rice. Why did she suddenly think of her again?

Tang Yan smiled to herself, not yet aware that Xia Zihan had been watching her expression for a while.

“You looked a bit suspicious just now.” Xia Zihan pointed at her and grinned mischievously.

“I…maybe you could start by reducing how much you eat at each meal,” Tang Yan suggested, steering the conversation back on track.

“That’s a good idea. I’ll try that first.” Xia Zihan let the topic go, rubbing her chin as though hatching a plan.

When they returned to the dorm, the other two roommates had already arrived and chosen their beds. Hearing that Tang Yan and Xia Zihan had finished registration, they quickly dropped what they were doing and left the dorm together.

Xia Zihan sat down at her desk and opened her laptop. Realizing the dorm’s internet was not yet connected, she opened a hotspot on her phone so she could continue watching her favorite TV show.

Tang Yan also returned to her desk, quietly organizing her things, when she heard a question from behind her. “What made you decide to choose this major?”

Tang Yan paused for a second, making sure the question was directed at her. They were the only two in the dorm.

“It had better job prospects…” Tang Yan smiled, trying to hide her lack of confidence. In truth, her motivation was too straightforward.

“What?” Xia Zihan sounded surprised. “Why do you, at such a young age, think like my dad? I originally wanted to study in the Foreign Languages Department, but my dad insisted on this major, saying the internet was developing fast and that studying computer science would provide a better future and more job opportunities.”

“Oh, right, did you know?” Xia Zihan continued, “I heard there are only eight girls in our class—our dorm and the one next door—while all the other students are guys.”

“Computer science does tend to attract more male students,” Tang Yan answered.

With a mischievous grin, Xia Zihan spun her chair around and scooted closer. “What kind of guy did you like? I could keep an eye out for you.”

Tang Yan thought it over seriously for about… that long. Then, looking quite earnest, she replied, “At the moment, I don’t have a preference.”

As for what kind of guy she might like, Tang Yan’s mind was a blank. Growing up without a father, she had often been mocked and bullied by boys in her class. In middle school, she studied so hard that the boys saw her as a nerd. Some with better family backgrounds went out of their way to mock and pick on her. Whenever a boy from another class tried to pursue her, Tang Yan flatly refused. She never had any good impression of or longing for the opposite sex throughout her entire adolescence. She was not even sure if this was normal, especially since so many of her female classmates fell in love one after another while she remained completely uninterested.

Because of her family background, Tang Yan devoted herself entirely to changing her fate. She wanted to succeed, to leave that mountain village far behind.

“You’re the first girl I’ve met who said that. You act like men are nothing. Girl, I salute you!” Xia Zihan clasped her hands in admiration.

After Ji Yuqing finished her meeting, the boss suddenly called her over with a wave. “Xiao Ji, come here.”

She turned back and replied casually, “Yes, Boss?”

“Everything okay at home? HR told me you took quite a few days off recently.”

“It’s fine. Thank you for your concern.” Ji Yuqing smiled politely.

“That’s good. If anything comes up, just take care of it. As far as work is concerned, I can have Xiao Liu keep an eye on things for you.”

“Really, it’s nothing,” she emphasized again.

“We could really use a push on the Southwest market.”

“Don’t worry, Boss.”

“I trust you to handle it. Alright, off you go.” The boss waved her away.

Ji Yuqing nodded and headed out. The moment she stepped into her office, her phone vibrated. When she saw who was calling, her smile grew brighter. While answering, she walked toward the floor-to-ceiling window. “What made you suddenly think of calling me?”

A woman’s voice came through the phone—not a mature voice like Ji Yuqing’s, but one with a touch of childlike sweetness. “I missed you, so I called. Have you been busy with work?”

“The usual,” she said, lowering her head and idly fiddling with the pin on her chest.

“Are you going to be home this weekend? I wanted to pick up some groceries and come over, cook at your place, and see you.”

“This weekend…” Ji Yuqing hesitated for a few seconds.

She had graduated from Huadu University and knew its military training regulations. The training lasted a month, but there were two days off each weekend, which meant Tang Yan would be at home on the weekend as well.

“What’s wrong? Is it inconvenient?” The voice on the other end sounded suspicious.

“It’s not inconvenient. You’re welcome anytime.”

“You say that like it makes my heart flutter,” the other voice teased.

“Alright, alright, enough flirting. I still have to take care of a proposal,” Ji Yuqing said, returning to her desk to open a file.

“Alright, Ms. Busy, I’ll let you go then. See you this weekend.”

“See you this weekend.” After saying that, she hung up and set her phone on the desk, her mind drifting to Tang Yan. She hoped that girl would be able to handle her enrollment properly.

“Oh my god, that was just too outrageous!” Suddenly, Xia Zihan shouted from behind, clutching her phone as she turned to Tang Yan. “Did you know the criminal who inspired the movie ‘Hope’ is getting out of prison next year? It’s like hell is empty, and the demons are walking the earth.”

Tang Yan did not fully grasp what she was talking about, so Xia Zihan asked, “You’ve never seen ‘Hope,’ have you?”

Tang Yan shook her head. She had very little access to movies or shows, and spent most of her time studying. She hardly paid attention to anything else, so Xia Zihan summarized the story for her.

Tang Yan suddenly fell into deep thought.

People often said children’s memories did not run deep, but after all these years, she still remembered that incident—that scorching summer day.

Almost all the adults in the village had gone off to work in the fields. Five-year-old Tang Yan was alone at her uncle’s house. Inside his room, her cousin and a few other boys from the village were watching cartoons—she vividly recalled that it was “Black Cat Detective.”

She could still hear the police sirens from the cartoon echoing in her ears.

She had wanted to watch TV too but had been afraid to go inside, since her cousin was never kind to her, and there were several older boys in there as well.

Yet strangely, on that day, her cousin actually came out and called her into the room to watch TV with them. Five-year-old Tang Yan had no ability to sense their ill intentions.

Her cousin asked if she felt hot and wanted to take off her shirt. Tang Yan shook her head and said she was fine, but the next thing she knew, something terrifying happened. He and those boys wrestled her onto the bed, pinning down her arms and legs so she could not move. She cried and cried, tears streaming down her face.

Her cousin straddled her stomach, trying to pull her clothes off. “Be good,” he said, “and Cousin will buy you ice cream.”

Just then, a little neighbor girl, Zhao Xiaoyun, arrived to invite her out to play. Perhaps they were overcome by guilt and fear, because her cousin and the other boys stopped before doing anything worse, and Tang Yan was finally freed.

She remembered how her cousin had glared at her and threatened that if she ever told his parents what had happened, he would make sure she could not stay in that house.

Tang Yan had been terrified and told no one, keeping it a secret all this time. Only when she grew older and learned about certain things between men and women did she realize that what her cousin had tried to do that summer was molest her. Even though he had not fully succeeded, it left an indelible trauma in her heart.

She had spent years trying to bury that memory, pretending it had never happened. Yet today, she was forced to face it once again.

“Tang Yan… Tang Yan… Why are you zoning out?” Xia Zihan had already called her name several times.

Tang Yan came back to her senses and let out a deep breath. “No… I’m fine.”