Heart of Darkness

Chapter 58 - 47

Rayven studied Angelica in the dim light. She held him in a hypnotic trance with her blue eyes. Without even realizing it, he was bothering to talk to her. He liked the way she spoke her mind and wasn't afraid of him yet it annoyed him. But what annoyed him the most was that he couldn't know what she was thinking.

Of all people, why couldn't he read her thoughts? It was as if she was a punishment sent to him from the heavens. An angel sent to punish this demon.

The way she tortured him was worse than Lucrezia's tortures. He had been burned many times, but this woman's flames scorched him deep into his soul. If she could only bring his death the way she easily tormented him. If she only knew that the pain from his scars was nothing compared to the pain of living. The pain of having to wake up every day and breathe was the worst punishment and waking up with her in his home was even worse.

She looked at him with a frown. "Don't do that to yourself." She said.

What was that in her eyes? He recognized it as a concern, but it couldn't possibly be. Having to read facial expressions wasn't his strong side since he could directly read people's thoughts. He never bothered to look at them to know what they were thinking.

"I can't stop." He told her but he wasn't sure what he was referring to.

She looked at him with that same emotion again. If he didn't know better he would think she was worried about him.

"What do you want from me?" He asked.

He had been unable to understand why she came to him of all people. What was her goal?

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Angelica looked down at her hands and her long red hair fell over her face. She was quiet for a moment before she looked up. "I… I want… I need your protection."

"There is no reason for me to protect you." He said.

"Then perhaps we can make one." She said rubbing her hands together nervously.

Rayven became confused. What was she suggesting?

"How?" He asked.

"If… you make me your… wife…" She grimaced saying the last word.

Rayven froze in his seat.

Wife?

His… wife?

It took him some time to get out of his shocked state and then he laughed.

Wife? Was she suggesting he marry her? He laughed louder.

Angelica looked at him with worry.

Oh. And here he thought for a moment she was worried about him. She just came here to use him. What other reason could there be? It is not as if she wanted to marry him because she liked anything about him.

After he was done laughing, he sighed in disappointment. It was his fault for yet again falling into this woman's trap and going down the road that could make him lose his chance to die.

His disappointment then slowly turned into anger. "Get up!" He ordered with clenched teeth.

Angelica looked at him frightened. "Get up!" He yelled and she stood up quickly.

"My Lord..."

"Quiet! Leave quietly. Now!"

"I have nowhere to go…" She pleaded.

"Don't force me to drag you out."

The stubborn woman remained standing.

Rayven got out of his seat hastily and she looked up at him with eyes wide. He grabbed her wrist and began to drag her toward the door.

"I beg of you, My Lord." She began sobbing while pulling herself back. "I will die if you throw me out."

Rayven wasn't hearing anything. Nor could he see. His vision was red with anger.

When he came to the front door she hurried and blocked the way so he couldn't open the door.

"Why can't you marry me? Is it because I am a traitor's daughter or because I am a whore?" She asked.

Rayven stiffened. His vision suddenly went back to normal. Angelica had tears running down her cheeks.

"Am I not worthy of anything? Is it not possible for me to dream of getting married like most women? Is the only way for me to live to sell my body?" She yelled the last sentence while crying.

Sell her body?

A...a...wh….

Rayven felt his body turn cold.

"If you throw me out, they will find me and take me back."

Who were they?!

Angelica cried and as she wiped a tear away with her hand he saw the brand on her wrist. Without realizing it, he took a step away from her while his eyes were fixated on the mark on her wrist. He felt something strange in his chest. A heavy feeling that made breathing difficult.

His body, which was cold quickly turned hot. He felt an itching under his skin that he recognized but hadn't felt for a long time. His demon was coming out. He was turning into the beast he was.

Turning away he hurried back to his room. He locked himself inside. At this point, his claws and fangs were already out and his skin was slowly changing color. He hadn't been in his true form for so long so why was he turning now?

He needed to control himself but it felt like his body was in flames. It didn't help that he kept hearing the word in his head and it was suffocating him. His imagination created images that made him feel like someone had kicked him in the gut.

Unable to contain himself from doing something that would ruin all his chances of death but also lead to another punishment he left his home to find out who 'they' were.

"Rayven!" He heard Lucrezia's angry call as he rushed down the hill.

Now she had to come now of all times when he had a lot to do. Ignoring her he kept walking but she came to stand in front of him.

"Where are you going looking like this? Do you want to expose us all?"

Rayven hadn't realized that he was in his demon form. "It doesn't matter to me. I will kill whoever sees me. Perhaps I will kill everyone in this town. It wouldn't be the first I caused the death of many. Isn't that what made my heart dark?"

She shook her head. "Don't force me to punish you because this won't make me kill you if that is your aim."

Rayven took a deep breath. He knew that with only a wave of her hand she could knock him out and he wouldn't wake up for days. That couldn't happen now when he had people to kill. He had to stay awake.

"You won't kill anyone." She told him. "Even though that makes me right about you. You care about the woman."

Lucrezia only fueled the fire in him. Now he wasn't only angry with whomever 'they' were. He was also angry with himself. He was angry with life and with everyone and everything in it.

"Do you know why I didn't kill you even when you were at your worst?" She asked. "Because even death needs to be deserved. Death is the easiest punishment you can give to someone. If you want to make someone suffer you have to be more creative. Learn from me." She smirked.

Was she allowing him to punish them?

She nodded with a smile. "Not when you look like this and when you are not thinking clearly."

She placed a hand on his shoulder, aware that he needed a little help to calm down. She did one of her tricks that made him relax a little.

"Good. Now go back and think of a more fitting punishment. Let me know if you need any help." She said.

How could he go back? Where would he go back? She was at his home. He couldn't be there.

"Oh. Why do you torture yourself so? Listen to me. I am the only one helping you. My sister won't kill you now after this act so why don't you try to get your heart back instead?"

He lost his chance to die. Because of that woman. She ruined everything. She wanted to use him yet here he was looking for the ones who did that to her.

Stupid!

Foolish!

The skies above him rumbled, calling for rain. Pleading and then crying instead of him. Rayven sat down on the hill, feeling empty inside as the rain poured over him.

Lucrezia watched him with a frown.

"I gave you the ultimate deal, Rayven. Either way, you won't lose. If you get your heart and face back you could choose to start a new life and live or you could choose to die if you still wish so. The choice will be yours." She said. "Or you can sit here and torture yourself."

When he ignored her Lucrezia left after shaking her head at him.

Rayven didn't know how long he had been sitting outside. The rain stopped and then he teleported back home. His hands itched to scar himself again even though his wounds didn't start to heal.

He found his way up to the top of the castle. He stood on the highest tower and looked down. He had already tried to jump from here once. It had been painful but now he was looking for that pain. Something to distract him from all this because it felt like he was losing his mind.

"Rayven?"

He heard Luciana's voice just before he could jump. No! He was not going to get his hopes up, thinking she came to kill him.

"Leave!" He told her.

"It seems like you don't want to die anymore." She said.

Why was she here? She couldn't have come just to witness his misery.

"I'll give you another chance." She began. "The woman in your home. Bring me her heart and I'll give yours back to you."