Read Novel Full Chapter 465 - Emotional State
Chapter 465 - Emotional State
<Sogou Ayaka>
[Thank you for the other day, Grandfather.]
I was speaking over the phone on my smartphone.
On the other end was the current chairman of the Sogou Group———- Grandfather.
During our school trip, the bus had been caught up in a natural disaster.
“I would like the bus company and the driver to be protected.”
My request had been accepted without hesitation by Grandfather.
Later, when I investigated on my own, I found that those measures had indeed been carried out.
It seemed Grandfather had already been aware of the movements.
[So, Ayaka has learned to check things from multiple angles now.]
He sounded pleased.
Incidentally, today’s call was for a different matter.
[Yes, I’m already fine——— yes, I’m alright. I can’t afford to stay shocked forever.]
I had already been shocked more than enough before returning.
But being too composed would also be unnatural.
So, in front of others, I had been pretending to still be shaken for a while longer.
(I can’t act as skillfully as Mimori-kun though……)
Grandfather said that the situation in the public eye had likely quieted down considerably by now.
The way he said it carried an implied meaning.
Grandfather had probably used his extensive connections to help calm the situation.
The Sogou Group.
Its influence over politics, finance, and the business world might be far greater than I had ever imagined.
[Since that accident, has anything changed?]
Grandfather asked me, as if trying to confirm a prediction.
I remained unfazed and smiled.
[Perhaps it has.]
After that, he brought up the students still reported missing.
He suggested the possibility that they had fallen into the river and been carried downstream.
Downriver from there was the sea.
“The missing students may have been carried all the way out to the ocean.”
That was currently considered the most likely theory.
[……If possible, I hope they’re still alive.]
Yes…… in another sense———-
I do hope they are still alive.
After a short pause, Grandfather spoke up again.
[What do you need today?]
I controlled my emotions and responded.
[Before the school trip, you mentioned there would be a large party in Tokyo soon, didn’t you? It’s a regularly held event, and you’ve invited me before.]
There was a silence as he waited for me to continue.
[I was wondering if I could attend next time.]
After a brief moment of thought, Grandfather replied “Alright” shortly, then he asked me,
[Same as before, just observing, right?]
[No.]
[This time, not as an observer———–]
I could feel the atmosphere on the other side of the line shift.
[Could you introduce me directly to everyone as your granddaughter, the granddaughter of the President of the Sogou Group?]
[…………. ———-How surprising. I was already surprised that you even intended to attend, but…… I thought you weren’t keen on being presented at those kinds of gatherings as “the granddaughter of the President of the Sogou Group”. What brought this change of heart?]
[The wind direction has changed, I suppose.]
[……You’ve started speaking in ways that don’t suit you.]
Before I noticed it, even Grandfather’s way of speaking had changed slightly.
[No, Grandfather.]
I said it while suddenly thinking of “him”, the one in that world.
[I’ve simply gained a slightly clearer view than before———– That is all.]
There was a brief silence on the other end of the line.
And then———–Grandfather laughed.
[……Kuku……fuhahaha! I see…… you’ve grown quite the voice yourself. Very well. I’ll lend you whatever support I can while I’m still active. That’s what you’re saying, isn’t it?]
[I’m grateful to have such a generous grandfather.]
[Maybe you’d have more potential than your parents, Ayaka.]
[Since I’ve been given such a position, I intend to learn———- Many things.]
He chuckled again on the other end, this time more like laughter that slipped out unintentionally.
[Grandfather?]
[No…… I just found myself feeling nostalgic.]
[Nostalgic?]
[I felt like I was speaking with her again…… your grandmother, when she was young. I don’t know…… maybe you’re starting to resemble her a little.]
[I’m honored to be told I resemble my beloved grandmother.]
I informed him that I planned to visit Grandmother’s grave soon.
[Hehh…… I thought you might have forgotten her, or avoided thinking about her because her passing was too painful. You were out of it even during the funeral.]
[I apologize for that. But now…… with my vision cleared, I feel I’ve gained the resolve to face it. That’s how it feels.]
[But, Ayaka…… there are also things you don’t need to inherit from her, you know?]
[Things I don’t need to inherit? What would those be?]
[If possible, don’t start smoking.]
[I see…… I have no intention of taking up such a habit.]
[She never managed to quit until the end. It’s not something someone who practices martial arts should be doing. It shortens your life. I told her that until I was blue in the face when she was young…… but she never listened.]
[But you never forced her to stop, did you, Grandfather?]
[Kuku…… like I could stop that tomboy. Besides…… I didn’t hate it. The way she smoked…… it suited her strangely well. Yes…… I didn’t hate it at all.]
[So you have no regrets, only resignation?]
Grandfather laughed again.
[You’ve learned to phrase things well.]
[Grandfather.]
I said, smiling slightly.
[You truly loved Grandmother, didn’t you?]
[I never met a woman greater than her in my entire life.]
[……I’m a little jealous of her.]
[You don’t have someone like that yet, Ayaka?]
[Unfortunately, I do not.]
[Haha. No need to rush. You’re still young…… ———Hey, Ayaka.]
[Yes.]
[When I heard about the accident…… I was honestly on edge. I wondered if you were going to follow after her and disappear before me too…… so———- I’m glad you made it back safely.]
▽
That day, I visited the cemetery in mourning clothes.
[I’m sorry I came to greet you so late, Grandmother.]
It was Grandmother’s grave.
A fine grave.
[Grandmother didn’t like the idea of an overly grand grave.]
Grandfather had said over the phone, laughing softly.
[I’m still searching for what I can do, and what form my atonement might take…… even now. But even so…… I want to do what I can, in my own way.]
Not rushing.
At my own pace.
After that, I closed my eyes and placed my hands together for a long time.
With my eyes closed, I spoke to my late grandmother about many things in my heart.
Eventually, I lowered my hands and spoke toward the gravestone.
[I’ll come again.]
I left the grave carrying the water bucket with its ladle and my umbrella.
Between the gravel stones lining both sides of the path, flowers were blooming.
The students who were still listed as “missing”.
Once things calmed down a little more, I planned to meet their families.
As their Class President.
Because of my position, I had at least seen their daily lives at school to some extent.
I could speak for them.
Talk about them while listening to others speak.
Maybe that alone would ease things a little.
————Of course, only if I was needed.
If I was told directly that I wasn’t needed, or if I judged that my involvement would be unwanted, I wouldn’t do it.
I wouldn’t impose myself.
If it was truly nothing more than unnecessary meddling, there was no need to act.
I had no intention of forcing it.
But———– if I could judge that I was wanted.
If I could help someone reach a point where they could accept their feelings or bring some kind of closure……
I wanted to support them in my own way.
(Mimori-kun’s case, it might be better to leave that to Hijiri-san.)
As for Ikusaba Asagi’s family……
(I think Kashima-san said she planned to visit them.)
Then what about the Oyamada Shougo family? I might need to think a little more about that.
As for his family situation, I decided I should consult Hijiri first.
As for Kirihara Takuto———- he truly seemed to have no memory.
However, compared to the other students, something about him still felt slightly off.
(Could it be……?)
Perhaps Oyamada Shougo’s disappearance was more of a shock to him than I realized.
(I should ask Hijiri about that too next time.)
While I was thinking about such things and walking along the stone path, I returned the water bucket and ladle to the water station……
(Ah……)
It started to rain.
The sky had been overcast since morning, as if it might burst into tears at any moment.
I opened my umbrella.
But almost immediately———- I lowered the hand holding it again.
I lifted my face toward the sky.
Thereupon, fine threads of rain struck my cheeks and forehead.
The rain pattered against my face and hands, bouncing lightly, leaving my entire body damp with moisture.
[……………………]
“Bad weather”
“Unpleasant weather”
Rainy days are called that.
But———- is it really only something bad?
I could understand if it were a typhoon or a heavy downpour.
But for rain like this…… I don’t think it was entirely bad.
The damp air carried the faint scent of soil and grass.
Perhaps it was because this cemetery was close to the mountains.
Somewhere in the distance, frogs began to croak.
And suddenly, I remembered the time I visited Grandmother’s birthplace when I was a child.
(I really did love the time I spent in that house…… even on rainy days. Everything there was old…… and yet it somehow felt “nostalgic”…… it was such a calming place…… quiet…… with the sound of rain…… the voices of insects and frogs…… and every now and then, the sound of a small truck passing by……)
Since returning to this world, there’s something I’ve come to realize.
At times, I feel as though something is urging me onward.
Faster, faster……
As if something is pressuring me to live more quickly.
But…… Grandmother’s house was different.
A gentle stillness, wrapped in the many sounds of nature.
I remember being surprised, thinking———- Time could flow this slowly too huh.
And then———– Even compared to that world……
Time here somehow feels faster.
All across the world, it feels like people are caught in a constant sense of impatience.
As though they’re being driven to hurry through life……
An atmosphere that doesn’t allow you to stop.
That’s precisely why moments like this…… places like this…… feel necessary.
[……I……]
I came back.
To this world.
But something is already different from before.
Was it me who changed after all?
If that’s the case……
Then simply changing how I see things…… how I feel…… It really does change the world.
At the very least, those things can be changed.
And so……
Even a rainy day doesn’t feel so bad anymore.
Almost absentmindedly…… I extended a finger forward and murmured softly.
[Status Open.]
Of course, that window didn’t appear.
Closing my eyes as if reaching toward something far away, I smiled.
I folded the umbrella that had lost its purpose in the rain and descended the stone steps one by one.
When I reached the parking lot, the Sogou family’s driver was waiting with a gentle smile.
[You seem to be in a rather good mood today, Milady.]
[Yes.]
[Has it been about half a year? Your presence…… feels different now.]
[I think the change is more recent than that.]
At that moment, I noticed how damp my clothes had become.
[……I’m sorry. I might get the seat wet.]
[That’s quite alright.]
The driver replied with a smile.
[As long as your heart feels clear and at ease, Milady.]
A soft laugh escaped me.
[Quite the talker there.]
[Much obliged.]
<Author’s Notes>
There are 5 chapters left.