I Became the Strongest With The Failure Frame【Abnormal State Skill】As I Devastated Everything

Chapter 467 - Drowning Dragon

<Kirihara Takuto POV>

I woke up in the middle of the night.

My skin was damp with sweat, it felt disgusting.

I grabbed the remote from the night table and pressed a button.

The vertical floor lamp flickered on.

[……Tch.]

During the school trip, our bus got caught in a landslide.

Ever since then———— my sleep has been shallow.

Waking up like this in the middle of the night isn’t unusual anymore.

The days of sleep deprivation just keep going.

……What a joke.

Nothing drags down brain performance like lack of sleep.

This is troublesome.

How long is this going to last?

Even over-the-counter sleep aids barely work.

———–This is ridiculous.

Should I see a doctor……?

I fiddle with my smartphone.

If I can’t sleep, I might as well do something else.

Time is too valuable to waste.

Time is finite.

……At this hour, the U.S. stock market is open.

I check the major stocks on my watchlist.

———–This country will sink in the not-so-distant future.

In the end, if you don’t succeed in something like starting a business, you won’t survive.

Empty ventures won’t cut it.

Any glory gained from that is nothing more than cheap plating.

First, build capital through investing———— and then start a business, and succeed.

[……………………]

Who will escape this sinking ship, and who will secure a spot on the limited lifeboats?

That game of musical chairs has already begun.

Only those who realize it will get the life they want.

This country will become one where only the strong can live properly.

I’m not like the masses here, grinning idiotically without a care in the world.

Still, for now, even investing is just a warm-up……

And starting a business isn’t realistic yet.

———–It’s frustrating.

I need to make money efficiently, quickly, use connections———– and climb even higher.

I have to.

But it’s not something that can be achieved in a single leap.

Even so——— I can’t help but feel impatient.

This isn’t the time to be playing around with things like a cultural festival……

(A cultural festival?)

Something like that is nothing more than a lukewarm, childish game for brainless dreamers.

It won’t even become a small asset in my life.

[…… ———d*mn it.]

I toss my phone toward the sofa.

It traces a pathetic arc before landing on it.

……I can’t focus on the information on the screen.

The numbers keep rising and falling every second———– it’s irritating.

Haahh…… haahh……

Ever since that day, my breathing has often grown shallow.

Like I’m not getting enough oxygen.

What is this?

(What’s happening…… to my body?)

Ever since the day I got caught in that landslide, it’s been like this.

A heavy sensation, as if something is constantly weighing down around my stomach.

An overwhelming discomfort.

(What is…… the source of this discomfort?)

I got out of bed and poured water from the pitcher into a glass, then gulped it down in one go.

[Phew……]

As I wiped my mouth with my sleeve, my reflection in the mirror came into view.

(What kind of face…… am I making……?)

[…… ————I see.]

Maybe…… I understand now.

This unpleasant feeling, what it really is……

———– A sense of defeat? ———–

(What……? Me…… feeling like I lost to something……? ……Sogou huh?)

……No.

Back when we were deciding what to do for the school festival, I did follow Sogou Ayaka’s words.

But that was nothing more than a tactical shift.

I handled the situation strategically———- smoothly, like an adult.

It wasn’t a retreat.

(So what if she’s the granddaughter of the Sogou Group’s President…… that’s not your own ability, is it, Sogou……? Your delusions are getting out of hand……)

Someone that small doesn’t even matter.

She’s not even worth my attention.

So from the very start———– it was never even a contest.

There was no match to begin with.

(Sogou just got lucky with her background, that’s nothing but “cheating”…… she’s not even worth facing……)

That’s why there’s no reason for me to feel any kind of defeat.

This strange, indescribable sense of loss———– this isn’t it.

(It’s something else…… yeah…… something I should never lose to———— “something” I can’t lose to……)

I lost to someone I absolutely should never have lost to.

I was made a complete fool of.

Completely…… defeated.

Anything less than that wouldn’t leave me feeling like this.

And yet…… I’ve never experienced something like that.

I don’t remember that happening.

[……D*mn it……]

It hurts.

My nerves are on edge.

I can’t calm down.

It’s irritating.

More than anything, not knowing what this is, it feels…… sickening.

[……………………]

We’re talking about this Kirihara Takuto, you know?

(What a joke……)

[……It won’t disappear.]

This black haze…… spreading around me……

▽

That day, I went out.

It was a day off, so there was no school.

Before I left, my parents were talking about something in the living room.

“Is Takuto…… doing okay lately?”

“It might be a sleep disorder. But Takuto says he doesn’t want to go to the hospital.”

“Is it because of that landslide he got caught up in……?”

“A classmate died…… of course it must have been a shock.”

“That’s because you haven’t been paying attention to him properly!”

“And now you’re throwing a tantrum and blaming me again!”

I feel like they said something to me before I left the house, but……

[Shut up.]

I spat that out and walked right out.

(……They’re seriously annoying.)

Lately, I sometimes get this intense ringing in my ears.

Sometimes I even hear a dry, fluttering noise, like the flapping of wings……

I put on my earphones and play some music.

……I can’t focus.

All of it just sounds like harsh noise now.

I yank the earphones out and shove them into my pocket.

Before I realize it——— I’m at the station.

I looked in the mirror this morning.

There were dark circles under my eyes.

Lately, it feels like there are gaps in my mind, like fault lines.

Because of that, it feels like only half my thoughts are working.

I keep swinging between irritation and restlessness.

I can’t settle down.

My head feels heavy.

(Where the hell am I even going……?)

I pass through the ticket gate.

Even though I don’t know where I’m trying to go.

———-I can’t breathe.

———-The air feels thin.

The tight, squeezing sensation around my temples pisses me off.

(What a d*mn joke……)

It won’t go away.

This unknown sense of defeat, sitting there like a weight.

———-No way…… is this going to last forever?

Am I going to live my whole life carrying this feeling of defeat?

Maybe I really should go see a doctor and get sleeping pills.

My parents said I need counseling.

———-This, happening to me?

No. That won’t do.

That would be nothing but defeat.

Getting counseling, needing sleeping pills just to live?

We’re talking about this Kirihara Takuto, you know?

Don’t make me laugh……

I stare at the yellow tactile paving.

For a moment, the pattern looks like some kind of face——— or at least, I think it does.

An announcement echoes across the platform.

The next train will be arriving soon.

———-Even if it comes, where am I supposed to go?

My nerves crawl.

That grating, black dissonance keeps ringing inside my head.

———- Bzzzz…… Bzzzz…… ———-

My vision flickers red and black.

I wave my hand, trying to brush it all away.

From the outside, it probably looks like I’m swatting at bugs.

[……Tch.]

Absentmindedly, I stare at the tracks.

It feels like I’m being pulled in.

The train———- is coming.

I hear the long horn blare.

———-I’m going to be pulled in.

If I just let it pull me in…… would it finally get easier?

Would I be free?

Me?

Forward.

Just one…… step forward……

With the thunderous roar of the incoming train……

With that heavy, overlapping rumble and a rush of wind, the train slid into the station.

Before I knew it——— my left foot was halfway onto the tactile paving.

The train came to a stop.

With a hiss, the doors opened on both sides.

But I didn’t get on. I just stood there.

A sharp ringing sound blared as the train departed.

Before long, new passengers began gathering on the platform, waiting for the next one.

An announcement played.

Apparently, there had been a personal injury accident on another line.

Thereupon……

[Ehhh, no waaaay!? Isn’t that insane!?]

A voice that sounded like pure stupidity boiled down into human form rang out.

It was from two girls standing nearby, both looking equally brainless.

[Mika said she just saw the accident from that announcement! Someone jumped! Jumping in front of a train, that’s like something out of a drama! And they have to pay, right? Like, a huge fee for stopping the train!?]

“Ehhh, that’s crazyyy!”, they squealed, huddling over a phone.

[Mika said “I literally saw it happen, I don’t think I can handle today”. Oh my god, that’s actually hilarious!]

[Let’s meet up with her later and cheer her up! Oh, by the way, did you see yesterday’s stream?]

[I did~~! I can’t wait for the next fan meeting stream! Akkun’s visuals have been insanely good lately!]

[It sucks we can’t go in person. Also, aren’t hotel prices ridiculous lately!?]

[Right~~!? It’s so bad! Oh, Mika replied! Wait, seriously!? She said once we meet up, we should just go get food!]

[She already recovered mentally after seeing someone jump!? Mika’s strong! That’s hilarious~~! Oh, speaking of that collab café we talked about———–]

The two of them kept shrieking and chattering.

I clicked my tongue and left the platform.

As I walked down the stairs, I let out a breath full of irritation and disgust.

———–That’s all they amount to.

Even if someone kills themselves, the awareness and attention of most people in this world never rises above that level.

They’re forgotten in an instant.

The thought that my “death” would be consumed like that…… is just unbearable.

[……Pathetic.]

D*mn it.

[I can’t…… even begin to think that’s sane……]

———– Haahh…… haahh…… ———–

My breathing…… is getting heavier……

It hurts.

I can’t breathe.

(In the first place……)

Choosing death on your own———– is nothing but defeat.

I, Kirihara Takuto, am someone destined to live a perfect life.

[Haahh…… haahh……]

After passing through the ticket gate and leaving the station, a scramble crossing spread out in front of me.

People moved back and forth.

Like a school of fish swimming underwater.

The air…… feels thin……

Like there’s not enough oxygen.

It’s like I’m underwater.

Why?

Why are they———- walking around with such calm expressions on their faces?

———– Haahh…… haahh…… ———–

My body grows clammy, and I drop to one knee right there.

The ringing in my ears won’t stop.

[Haahh———– haahh, haahh……!]

Someone……

“Um, are you okay……?”

I feel like someone said that to me.

Or maybe that was just another hallucination, like the ringing in my ears.

Yeah, that must be a hallucination.

……It hurts.

I can’t breathe.

Gasping for air, I hang my head low.

And then———- my palm hits the asphalt.

(……At this rate……)

[D*mn it…… —————————]

……I’m going to suffocate.

<Author’s Words>

In the Light Novel, there will mainly be additional chapters focusing on Seras and Touka.

The next chapter is scheduled to be updated around 9:00 PM on April 30th, Thursday.