I Beg You All, Please Shut Up

Chapter 60: Deadpool’s Ability

After letting Bai Xiaochun and Yang Rong inside his apartment, Chu Tian brought the groceries to the living room’s coffee table. Then, he picked up the remote and turned up the air conditioner’s wind speed by two levels.

“Heavens! I love AC!”

Yang Rong stood underneath the air conditioner and began pulling at her collar to cool herself, “Right now, I truly feel like AC is the greatest invention in human history.”

Seeing Yang Rong standing beneath the air conditioner with a look of pleasure, Bai Xiaochun laughed, “Rongrong, you shouldn’t be standing directly under the AC like that. The sudden change in temperature will make you catch a cold.”

“Who cares about that?,” Yang Rong shook her head, “I’m dying from heat, okay? Let me cool myself down first.”

Chu Tian smiled. He went to his fridge and took out two bottles of cold water, “Why did the two of you purchase this much? Not to mention the two of you being girls, they’re heavy even for me.”

“It’s all because of your Lil Bai,” Yang Rong threw her butt onto the sofa and pouted, “I told her we only need to purchase enough groceries for a couple dishes. But she decided to pick up a pile of fruits too. It’s like she’s afraid that you’ll starve to death.”

Bai Xiaochun smiled. She handed a bottle of water to Yang Rong, “Enough, you. I’ll be making tasty food for you later, okay? Come, drink some water first.”

Yang Rong didn’t hesitate. She accepted the water and gulped down half the bottle in no time.

Bai Xiaochun looked at the bags and took out an item packed in a black pouch. With a beaming smile, she said, “Chu Tian. Here, try it out.”

Seeing the black pouch Bai Xiaochun handed him, Chu Tian asked curiously, “What’s this?”

“Basketball jersey and shorts,” interrupted Yang Rong. “Your Lil Bai said you don’t have a jersey. So, in order to make playing basketball more comfortable for you, she brought you a set of basketball jersey and shorts.”

“Really?”

Chu Tian smiled and turned to look at Bai Xiaochun. Then, he opened the black pouch and pulled out a basketball shorts and a jersey with the number ‘2.’

It was identical to the ones worn by Xiao Gang and others.

Seeing this, Chu Tian smiled. Then, ‘smooch,’ he gave Bai Xiaochun a kiss on her face, “Love you babe.”

“Ouch! My god!”

Yang Rong covered her eyes, “We’ve yet to eat! Can you stop with the public display of affection? Don’t forget that there’s a single person in this room! Did you two really think I don’t exist?”

Bai Xiaochun smiled and bit her lip, “Since when did you become single? Don’t you have a boyfriend?”

“Long distance relationship, okay?” said Yang Rong, “That’s not too much different from being single.”

Bai Xiaochun laughed. She turned to Chu Tian, “Go and try it out. I think it should fit you well.”

“Sure. I’ll go try it out then.”

After saying that, Chu Tian turned around to his bedroom and closed the door.

Soon, by the time he came back out, he had changed into the basketball uniform. It fit him perfectly.

Bai Xiaochun walked over and pulled at his outfit to get rid of the winkles. With satisfaction, she said, “Mn, it fits you perfectly.”

“Of course. Look at who brought it for me,” Chu Tian smiled, “Come babe, let me give you another kiss.”

“Mmm, don’t,” Bai Xiaochun smiled as she pushed him away, “If you do that, your deskmate will complain again.”

“No no,” Yang Rong waved her hand, “Ignore me. Pretend I don’t exist. Go ahead and do whatever you want to do. It’s best to do something exciting. As long as the two of you don’t care, why would I care?”

Chu Tian smiled. He took off the basketball jersey and threw it into his room, “So, how’s things going? Are the club activities interesting?”

“It’s alright,” Bai Xiaochun twisted open her bottle of water and took a small sip, “It’s quite fun. So, you didn’t go out today?”

“I did,” said Chu Tian, “I went out for a stroll.”

“Oh, deskmate,” Suddenly, Yang Rong acted like she had remembered something, “You know about Deadpool?”

“Deadpool?” Chu Tian pondered for a bit, “You’re talking about Marvel Comics’ Merc with a Mouth Deadpool?”

“Right, that Deadpool.”

“I know about him. Why do you ask?”

“Your Lil Bai and I were discussing that something earlier,” Yang Rong spoke in high spirits, “We saw someone at the supermarket earlier. He was wearing a white tank top. On that tanktop was the word ‘Deadpool.’ After we saw it, we started talking about Deadpool. Say, if you had Deadpool’s powers, how would you use it to make money?”

Deadpool’s powers?

Chu Tian pondered for a bit before answering, “Hmm… I guess I can become a bodyguard and use my body as a shield for bullets? After all, I wouldn’t die.”

“No, that wouldn’t do,” Yang Rong shook her head, “You’re selling yourself too short. Besides, it’s too unreliable. Bullets nowadays are extremely powerful. The bullet can pierce through your flesh and kill your client. So no, that answer wouldn’t do.”

“What about you then? How would you use Deadpool’s ability to make money?” asked Chu Tian curiously.

“Selling blood, obviously,” laughed Yang Rong, “Deadpool can regenerate anyways. Furthermore, his regeneration does not comply with the laws of physics. So, he should have a boundless amount of blood. If I sell several hundred kilograms worth of blood a day, I will definitely become rich.”

“And I thought I was being cruel with myself. But, guess what your Lil Bai said?”

“She said to sell the organs! She said that since the organs will regrow themselves, she can sell all the organs in her body, heart, liver, spleen, lungs, kidneys, everything. A single kidney would be able to sell for several hundred thousand. She said that assuming a set of organs can be sold for 2 million, if she can sell a set of organs a day, she’ll become a billionaire in a year’s time.”

“So, our topic ended up on you. Guess what your Lil Bai said about you?”

As he saw Yang Rong’s smile turning more and more exaggerated, Chu Tian smiled and shook his head, “What did she say?”

“Your Lil Bai said that if you had Deadpool’s powers, you will definitely donate your DNA sample. Since you don’t have to worry about your body, you can get a nourishment fee of several thousand with every sample. From all the donations, you can become the richest person in the world. Hahaha… It’s simply too funny. Richest person in the world through DNA donations? Haha…”

[1. I’m as confused as you are. DNA donations pays?]

After saying that, Yang Rong couldn’t contain herself and burst out laughing.

Bai Xiaochun also held her mouth and started laughing. Chu Tian rolled her eyes at them. But, before he could say anything, he suddenly felt an electric current running through his body.

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