I Got a Fake Job at the Academy

Chapter 746 - Side Story 19: Finding Oneself (1)

The past is truly abstract.

It's a phenomenon that has already occurred, but at the same time, it's debris that has flowed away beyond time.

What allows people to reflect on the past is nothing more than imperfect memory and records left in writing.

Someone said: the future is incomplete, but the past is clear.

It has to be that way. No one knows what might happen in the future.

It's not easy to predict, and things that don't make sense by common standards can occur.

The moment it happens, the future becomes the present, but Rudger decided to lump even that together as the future for now.

On the other hand, what about the past?

Once the past is decided, it's fixed as is. It never disappears or changes.

The past remains as the past. It's literally an immutable truth.

'But is that really so? The past doesn't change?'

Even just looking at what the now-vanished Bretus Holy Kingdom did in the past made it clear.

They manipulated history as they pleased to suit their tastes.

People firmly believed that the fabricated past was the truth.

While some of it was due to brainwashing, it was far more because they hid the truth and revealed lies as if they were the truth.

This remained the same even after the Bretus Holy Kingdom fell and part of the truth of the past was revealed.

People who had firmly believed lies to be true until now couldn't properly accept the real truth.

Rather, they dismissed it as falsehood and tried to emphasize that they were never wrong.

Of course, strictly speaking, the past probably doesn't change.

What changes are people and the perspective through which those people view it.

The past always remained the same, but what if the perspective of people viewing that past changes?

If someone calls a fruit that was once an apple an orange, and it becomes established that most people think of it as an orange.

Is that an apple or an orange?

'In the end, even the past is not clear. Rather, it's only representational and ambiguous. Because remembering the past depends on one's own memory.'

Human memory is not perfect.

Even the scenery they saw right before their eyes, they see vaguely except for what they focused on.

When you ask such people to recall something that happened in the past, it's merely a biased fragment seen from one perspective.

Even that fragment can be distorted by memory and emotion.

Like the future, one could only view the past as hazy as well.

'Even if you leave it in writing, the author's personal opinion inevitably enters into it.'

Since it's impossible to record every single second of all history, materials are also inevitably fragmentary.

Those insufficient parts can only be reconstructed through reasonable inference, testimony, and traces left at the scene at the time.

Can that truly become the truth?

Rudger doesn't think so.

'The past that I think of is the same. Because I can't say that the past I remember is really correct.'

Rudger wasn't perfect either.

He was just trying his best not to forget the moments of that time.

That's why Rudger wanted to look back again at the path he had walked in the past and the people he met along the way.

He wanted to meet them again and confirm his life.

'Because only then can I move forward.'

He had stayed in one place for three years.

It was fair to say he had awakened from a long sleep with time essentially frozen.

Rudger lacked the motivation to move toward the future. Not only had he already achieved his long-cherished wish, but he was also busy adapting to the present that had changed.

That's why Rudger wanted to look back at the past.

He thought there might be some opportunity or clue hidden there.

'Exploring the past to go toward the future. It's truly ironic.'

But it was also inevitable.

The future was an unexplored jungle of the unknown.

He could just jump into it bravely and recklessly with his bare body.

Those who chose such a method, adventurers with innate exploring spirit, did so.

'But that's not my way.'

At least Rudger thought he should grasp the geography and have sufficient equipment and even a jungle knife.

This was the process for that.

The process for himself, who had finally become a member of this world, to live wholly on this land.

Rudger slowly rose from his seat.

Where he was staying was the same luxurious space as when he first came to the imperial capital.

Rudger put on his black coat.

After arranging his appearance in the mirror, Rudger picked up his cane.

It was a cane that gleamed like obsidian with the shape of a crow embossed on the handle end.

-Swoosh.

He drew out the sword stick contained inside the cane once to check the blade's condition.

The sword body extended straight without a single scratch.

Looking with satisfaction at the silver light that entranced people just by looking at it, Rudger sheathed it back into the cane scabbard.

When Rudger opened the door and went outside, Pasius, who had been waiting, spoke.

"You're finally ready. Her Majesty the Empress is waiting."

"I wonder if I've dragged it out too long."

"Well, she'll understand, won't she?"

Pasius, who smiled slightly, asked Rudger subtly.

"So yesterday, did you have a good time?"

"Thanks to your consideration."

"What happened with that young lady?"

There was a strange anticipation in Pasius' voice.

Rudger plainly brought up what happened the night before.

"She discovered a new horizon of magic, so I agreed to help later. Thinking about it, I seem quite excited about it too."

"Um...magic?"

Pasius asked back.

"Yes. Magic."

"Hmm?"

Pasius' head tilted slightly in bewilderment.

Surely he had met Rene and helped her meet Rudger.

Because he read the emotions and resolve she harbored from Rene's expression when she asked to meet Rudger.

As one who became a knight, he couldn't just stand by and watch.

Pasius handed over the role of guide he was in charge of to Rene.

It was absolutely not because he was bored of just waiting.

Well, it would be a lie to say he had no such feelings, but more than that, his curiosity that something interesting might happen was greater.

So he set up the occasion, telling her to do her best, but what was Rudger's answer?

'It doesn't seem like he's deliberately making excuses, and looking at how he says it, it means he's sincere.'

That young lady failed!

Pasius had to suppress the urge to hit his forehead with his hand.

There would be plenty of opportunities in the future anyway.

'More than that, if Her Majesty the Empress finds out what I did, will she scold me?'

Pasius thought that, but soon shrugged his shoulders.

So what? Wanting to see interesting things is a person's natural desire.

"Well, let's go for now. Her Majesty the Empress has also finished preparing and is waiting."

Following Pasius' guidance, Rudger headed to the audience chamber.

On the way, Rudger encountered one person.

"That person is..."

The other person also recognized Rudger and stopped in place. Leading servants, he had a noble dignity that anyone could feel.

The dignified-looking young man resembled Aileen and Erendir somewhere.

Right. He finally remembered.

Second Prince Ivelon von Exilion.

"Ah, you are..."

Ivelon also recognized Rudger and wore a faint smile.

Rudger wondered if he should still show courtesy since he was royalty, but surprisingly, Ivelon stopped him first.

"It's fine. I'm just someone who stays in the imperial palace, so you don't need to treat me as royalty."

Because he felt the sincerity in that voice, Rudger stared at him directly instead of bowing his head.

Ivelon looked weak and had a somewhat hazy impression, but at the same time, he possessed a strong heart and clear eyes.

A person with a firm inner self unlike his weak-looking exterior.

He was the type of person Rudger rated highly.

"I've heard the story."

"About three years ago. It's not even worth calling a story. There's nothing I, who lived as Bretus' vanguard from long ago, could say."

At his honest confession, Ivelon’s servants were shocked and horrified.

They were people who followed Ivelon sincerely, attracted by his personal character.

That's why they were also people who knew their master's shame, his painful memories.

For Ivelon, the past of moving as the Holy Kingdom's dog was a very shameful thing.

Even if it was force majeure, the events of that day didn't disappear.

That's why everyone treated it carefully, but Ivelon himself revealed that fact and in front of Rudger at that.

Considering what Rudger's origins were, it was very meaningful.

Of course, the servants didn't know that Rudger was Heathcliff.

From the fact that Pasius was personally guiding him, they could only infer that he was just an honored guest.

"I know well what I did. Rather, I think it's already more than I deserve just to be able to stay in the Devalk imperial capital like this. I'm just sorry to my younger sibling and older sister."

Ivelon thought Rudger had heard from his older sister what he had done.

Actually, his thought wasn't wrong. Rudger had conversed with Eileen, and she talked about what her younger brother had done.

However

"That's not what Her Majesty the Empress said."

Ivelon momentarily didn't understand Rudger's words.

"What I heard was that Her Majesty the Empress has a younger brother who is very undeserving of her. That he's so kind, and therefore can make choices that are more altruistic than anyone. She said she couldn't do that, and that's why he's more remarkable than anyone in the world."

"Older sister..."

Ivelon had gone into self-imposed seclusion after the holy war ended, regretting what he had done.

Now he was gradually moving around inside the imperial capital and being active, but the guilt of betraying his family engraved in one corner of his heart still remained.

Even if his older sister, younger sibling, and father hated him, it couldn't be helped.

He would willingly accept that fact.

Though he had thought that way, the truth Rudger conveyed was different.

"That's what family is."

Rudger's last words created ripples deep in Ivelon’s heart.

"Ha, haha. That's right. Family, it's family."

Right. It was family. Precious family that couldn't be exchanged for anything.

That was what Ivelon had pursued while going against the Holy Kingdom of Bretus' will and that cold Empress Aileen as well had the same thoughts.

"...I'd like to take more time and have a conversation, but it seems there's no leisure for that now."

"Yes. I also find that part regrettable. But opportunities exist anytime."

"I see. I'll look forward to the day we meet again."

The Second Prince Ivelon bowed to Rudger with a much more relieved face and left.

As Rudger watched that retreating figure, Pasius said cheekily.

"Oh. That's excellent. I didn't know you would speak that way."

"I just said what I heard."

"In the world, saying what you heard is one of the difficult things."

The two people who finally arrived at the audience chamber opened the door and entered inside.

"You're late."

What greeted them as soon as they entered was Aileen's reproachful voice.

Aileen sat on the throne looking down at the two people.

With her gorgeous dress befitting her authority and even wearing a crown, she truly suited the title of Empress.

Her beautiful adornments matching her hair color, along with the red robes flowing down the left and right of the throne, were impressive.

"How truly impudent. To make the Emperor wait. In another country, you would have already been on the execution platform."

"Will the second time be difficult?"

At Rudger's skillful answer, Aileen glared at him sharply.

The current Aileen had tremendous spirit and charisma.

However, the Emperor's authority was of no use to Rudger.

Knowing this, Aileen relaxed the force in her eyes and chuckled.

"So, what are you planning to do now?"

"I haven't decided what to do immediately, but if I do something, I'll probably wander the world a bit."

Wandering the world. That also included the purpose of meeting people he remembered.

"How long will it take?"

"It won't take that long. It's not like I'm wandering aimlessly, and above all, I now have a means to quickly visit distant places."

"A full-grown man going on a journey to find himself."

"Hehe. Your Majesty the Empress, isn't that what's good about it."

The one who joined the conversation was Luther Wardot, who had positioned himself on one side.

"Because that's proof of being young."

Luther patted the shoulder of Alex standing next to him with his thick hand.

Alex frowned as if in pain, but waved his hand at Rudger with a smile.

Rudger responded with an eye greeting instead.

"So, are you planning to leave right now?"

"The sooner the better."

"Where will you go first? Ah, this is just curiosity."

"First, I should see those close to me I haven't met yet."

Blue magical power rose above Rudger's body.

The brilliant blue light instantly dyed black and changed into shadow.

"Aether Nocturnus."

His magical beast covered his coat and rippled like a heat haze.

"Let's go to the kingdom of elves."