Incurable Pain

IP Chapter 24

Incurable Pain | Chapter 24

The gift he gave felt like handcuffs, like a dog leash.

Two people stood in the shadows, the safe passage was chilly and quiet.

Actually, due to Bai Xunyin’s inability to speak and their communication being limited to text messages, when they used to secretly stay together in this “secret base,” it had also been quite quiet. There would occasionally be Yu Luoyin’s soft laughter.

But at that time, the quietness had been imbued with a hint of sweetness, unlike now—where the atmosphere was so stagnant that it was almost icy, repressive and suffocating.

Narrow and clear, Yu Luoyin’s phoenix-like eyes briefly showed surprise upon seeing the words “bet,” but he quickly resumed an unaffected appearance, leaving only indifference.

He carefully examined the girl before him—her small, fair face, her chestnut eyes glinting with a determined light, her delicate and gentle jawline clenched.

Dazzling yet intriguing.

She turned out that she was angry because of this, even talking about breaking up.

Turns out, she wasn’t as indifferent as she appeared on the surface.

She was still angry because of him.

Yu Luoyin didn’t feel guilty or remorseful after being discovered. His phoenix-like eyes were calm and serene, and a nearly joyful curve tugged at the corner of his lips.

“So, you found out? When?”

Because of his attitude, Bai Xunyin was momentarily stunned.

“Um, let me think… you started ignoring me on the first day of the break, on the day of the break…”

Yu Luoyin recalled for a moment, then suddenly realized, “You went to the school’s back building that day, right?”

Even though she had anticipated that Yu Luoyin’s attitude and personality would probably remain the same even after knowing the truth, she couldn’t help but feel a surge of anger at how indifferent he seemed in reality.

Bai Xunyin’s already fair face turned even paler.

“Is it because of this that you want to break up?”

The man looked at her pale appearance, and slowly began to smile.

“I won’t deny there was this kind of bet, and I did approach you because of it, but I had no intention of letting you know about all of this. Having explained that bet as a joke to them, isn’t this just the same as having a real relationship?”

Yu Luoyin didn’t understand why Bai Xunyin was angry.

On that day in the back building, the reason he had spoken those words to Li Yuan and the others was because he didn’t want to continue developing with Bai Xunyin under the pretext of the “bet.”

However, that didn’t mean he didn’t want it to continue.

Not only did he not want the bet to continue, Yu Luoyin also wanted to clarify things with those few people, have them keep their mouths shut, and then “officially” start dating Bai Xunyin.

He wasn’t worried that those three would spread the word, he just didn’t want to carry on with this pretext.

Although Yu Luoyin often acted tough, whenever he was with Bai Xunyin and his actions slightly crossed boundaries, he felt a bit awkward.

Every time he felt the urge to kiss her uncontrollably, Yu Luoyin would inappropriately remember that bet.

It was as if the unresolved matter of the bet was weighing heavily on his mind, like a hanging knife.

As if human nature’s vices were at work, Yu Luoyin didn’t want to show weakness in front of Bai Xunyin, to act like he was in the wrong. But he wasn’t completely righteous either.

He stubbornly believed that if Bai Xunyin didn’t know, he could pretend the bet had never happened.

Yu Luoyin knew he would continue treating Bai Xunyin with the attitude he would have towards a girlfriend, but he stubbornly refused to admit fault.

However, the girl didn’t want to accept this kind of fleeting remorse.

Bai Xunyin only saw the surface of Yu Luoyin, so cold and aloof.

With that joke of a bet, he actually still had the audacity to say that he wanted to continue a real relationship.

Bai Xunyin’s fingers at her side involuntarily clenched, the veins on her fair hand exposed.

Ever since Bai Hongsheng’s incident that rendered him “incapable of actions,” Bai Xunyin had grown accustomed to restraining her emotions, not showing them, whether it was happiness, sadness, or even anger.

But that was before she had encountered Yu Luoyin.

She simply couldn’t fathom what she had done wrong to deserve this “retribution” from Yu Luoyin.

For the things he had done, the nonsensical words he had spoken, to be defended so confidently….

It was just a bet; he thought that her not knowing about it would allow her to ignore it. The feeling of her heart tightening at this realization was unbearable.

But this discomfort, in Yu Luoyin’s eyes, was probably seen as nothing more than a baseless complaint or even just finding trouble for no reason.

She didn’t know what psychological state he used to perceive herself, or even which version of him was it that she later accepted.

It was ridiculous when she thought about it now. During that period before, Bai Xunyin had even entertained an irrational fantasy—that Yu Luoyin was her redemption.

It was almost everyone’s dream: to have someone like him like her, to actively pursue her. It felt like luck had fallen into her lap, a once-in-a-lifetime “coincidence.” Even Bai Xunyin herself had thought so.

How dazzling Yu Luoyin was, like a fallen star covered in dust beside her—no matter how you looked at it, it didn’t match. That’s what most people believed.

But now, Bai Xunyin didn’t want that star anymore.

For Bai Xunyin, Yu Luoyin had initially been like a dream come true, but now he seemed like a pitch-black reality beneath the surface.

She didn’t want this “blessing.”

Taking a deep breath, Bai Xunyin released her tingling hand. Ignoring the howling desolation within her, she coldly looked at Yu Luoyin.

Then, without saying a word, she turned and walked away. Saying more words wouldn’t make any difference; they were on different paths.

“Bai Xunyin.” Yu Luoyin’s slightly chilly voice sounded from behind her, low and clear, with evident displeasure and a hint of subtle warning.

“I haven’t agreed to break up.”

Bai Xunyin halted in her steps, her back stiff.

Measured footsteps gradually approached. Yu Luoyin’s tall and slender figure blocked her way, like a dark and heavy cloud.

“I haven’t agreed,” Yu Luoyin repeated once more, lowering his gaze to look fixedly at the girl who was standing with her head bowed against his chest.

“Do you understand?”

Bai Xunyin, unable to bear it any longer, pushed him away. She pushed with force, catching him off guard and causing him to stumble and collide with the cold wall beside him.

Taking advantage of this opening, she forcefully pushed the heavy iron door of the safe passage and hastily ran away amidst the resounding clang.

She couldn’t understand what Yu Luoyin meant.

What was his intention?

She was genuinely on the verge of breaking down.

It was just a bet, so why was he so determined to maintain this “illusory” relationship with her?

Her mind buzzed uncontrollably, as if millions of bees were swarming and circling around, which made Bai Xunyin unconsciously grip the railing in the corridor; her fingers turning white from the pressure.

It wasn’t until the bell for class rang that she was forcibly brought back to her senses. Her footsteps staggered as she returned to the classroom.

Yu Luoyin had already returned, lazily leaning back in his chair. When he saw Bai Xunyin come back, he lifted his gaze and fixedly stared at her, unblinking.

Bai Xunyin sensed that utterly stripped gaze and forced herself to return to her seat, despite the awkwardness. The next class was inevitably spent somewhat absentmindedly, but luckily, no teacher asked her any questions.

No one would… ask her questions.

Bai Xunyin bitterly smiled, pulling herself out of her agitated emotions and realizing this fact, feeling a touch of self-mockery.

Now, having escaped from a sweet trap, she realized how overly sentimental she used to be.

She was a disabled person, a mute. Throughout the school, apart from Ah Mo, neither students nor teachers cared for her. Yu Luoyin was a pampered child, always held in high regard.

How could he truly like her?

In reality, she blamed herself for her lack of insight, for being too self-important.

She used to think she was still the old Bai Xunyin.

Back when Bai Hongsheng was still around, Bai Xunyin was still considered to have come from an affluent family. She was graceful and quiet, treated like a precious gem since childhood, and she wasn’t afraid of anyone’s affections.

From elementary school to middle school, the word “envy” accompanied Bai Xunyin the most.

So many people envied her family, her looks, her academics. Bai Xunyin didn’t have a spoiled temperament; every time, she responded graciously. She just hadn’t expected that even happiness had an expiration date and a limit. It could blow away like a gust of wind.

The accident in ninth grade erased the old Bai Xunyin.

Now, she was just a disabled person.

No matter how attractive a disabled person might be, they couldn’t match up to healthy ordinary individuals. At present, she was self-conscious, timid, and unlikable.

If she indulged in fantasies, she would only end up being toyed with.

So, what Bai Xunyin had said earlier was heartfelt. She wouldn’t believe Yu Luoyin anymore, even if he ambiguously refused the breakup. She wouldn’t mistakenly think it was affection or that he just couldn’t bear to part.

Perhaps Yu Luoyin was contemplating how to toy with her, or maybe, as a young master, he couldn’t tolerate being rejected face-to-face…

In any case, it wouldn’t be because he truly liked her.

Bai Xunyin kept repeating this in her mind, gradually calming herself.

It’s only when you genuinely don’t care about someone that your thoughts and feelings won’t fluctuate with their every move or even a sentence they say.

She could achieve that.

The incident in their PE class happened during the third period in the afternoon. There was no evening self-study on the first day; the school had arranged a personal introduction session, and classes were dismissed after the afternoon session.

Finally making it to dismissal, Bai Xunyin felt like her back was being stared at so much it was turning stiff. As the class bell rang, she swiftly grabbed her bag and pulled Ah Mo, ready to leave.

“Huh? Why are you in such a hurry today?”

The last class was a self-study session. Ah Mo had stayed up late the night before and had been drowsy all day. She had barely managed to pack her things before being dragged out of bed by Bai Xunyin.

She didn’t understand and yawned as she asked Bai Xunyin, “Is it because you’re meeting Mu Anping? There’s no need to rush.”

…

The corner where their seats were located was filled with Yu Luoyin’s friends and followers, except for the two of them. At Ah Mo’s words, they all fell strangely silent.

Amidst this silence, Bai Xunyin felt her scalp tingling and glared at Ah Mo with force.

Ah Mo, however, was completely unaware that she had dropped a bombshell. She continued to mumble to herself while packing her things, “Okay, I’ll pack up quickly. He seems to be waiting for us outside the school gate?”

Bai Xunyin forcefully ignored the freezing glare coming from Yu Luoyin’s direction, wrinkling her brows as she helped Ah Mo pack her things. The two of them finished gathering their belongings quickly, and they hastily left.

Ah Mo was practically yanked out of the classroom by Bai Xunyin.

As soon as they left, Yu Luoyin stood up. He didn’t tidy his desk and simply picked up his bag, ready to follow after them.

“Yu Luoyin, who’s this Mu Anping? Why does Bai Xunyin want to have a meal with him?”

A classmate who didn’t understand the situation asked him curiously from beside.

In fact, friends who were closer to Yu Luoyin were well aware of his relationship with Bai Xunyin. Of course, they could also sense that these two seemed to be at odds with each other.

Yu Luoyin sneered coldly, “How the hell should I know?”

Rarely did he use coarse language, clearly showing his anger. He ignored his puzzled classmates and walked away, following them.

In the distance, Yu Luoyin saw Bai Xunyin and Ah Mo chatting and laughing with Mu Anping outside the school gate. Mu Anping’s eyes were glued to Bai Xunyin, almost blindingly bright.

Yu Luoyin’s fingers by his side unconsciously clenched.

“Huh? Yu Luoyin.”

Li Yuan and his group emerged from the adjacent classroom and saw Yu Luoyin. Li Yuan happily slapped him on the shoulder, but his expression changed when he saw Yu Luoyin’s face—a sense of impending danger loomed.

“Um.”

He hesitated and asked, “What’s going on? Why does Yu Luoyin’s expression look like he’s about to fight someone?”

Yu Luoyin didn’t respond, just stared intently at that spot. He saw Mu Anping helping the two girls with their bags. His eyes stayed on Bai Xunyin with such fervor; it was as if he wanted to gouge out her eyeballs.

Li Yuan didn’t get a response. Perplexed, he followed Yu Luoyin’s gaze and also saw the scene of those three people standing together outside the school gate.

“Huh?”

Li Yuan scratched his head in confusion, “Isn’t that the mute girl? You didn’t walk her home today. Who’s that guy? Is he?”

“I already told you not to call her that mute girl.”

Yu Luoyin’s shoulder twitched as he brushed off Li Yuan’s hand. His voice, deep and filled with warning, was chilling, making people shiver.

He had already discussed this with Li Yuan, Lu Ye, and Zhou Xin during the time at the back of the building. He wasn’t going to continue with the bet, and he didn’t want them to continue calling Bai Xunyin the “mute girl.”

But clearly, this guy hadn’t taken it to heart.

It seemed that if he didn’t issue a proper warning, some people just wouldn’t remember things.

“I forgot for a moment, my bad, my bad.”

Li Yuan sensed Yu Luoyin’s genuine anger. His body trembled almost imperceptibly, and he quickly apologized with a “knowing when to advance and when to retreat” attitude.

“I won’t call her that next time.”

Yu Luoyin paid no attention. After saying that, he saw Bai Xunyin’s group leaving and followed suit.

Leaving Li Yuan standing in place, scratching his head in puzzlement.

That night, Yu Luoyin felt like he had done almost every foolish thing he wouldn’t usually do—obsessively following those three people, taking the same bus with them, getting off at the Linlan city center square, then watching as they entered a pizza place.

He wasn’t sure who chose the location since he didn’t know if Bai Xunyin liked pizza.

Upon reflection, during the several months they had been together, they hadn’t “dated” much.

Most of the time, they ate in the cafeteria, and he had no idea what kind of food Bai Xunyin preferred.

The three of them spent so much time inside, and Yu Luoyin stood waiting under a tree outside the restaurant for who knows how long. All that accompanied him were cigarette butts littering on the ground by his feet.

He wasn’t a big smoker, nor was he addicted. Yet today, he had smoked quite a bit, and amidst the swirling smoke, his elongated black eyes were fixed on the pizzeria’s window.

Bai Xunyin and her group chose seats by the window. The young girl happened to be next to the window, and her exquisitely delicate profile was clearly visible from the outside.

Under the warm yellow light, even the tiniest smile or frown stood out.

Over the course of the meal, Yu Luoyin counted that she had smiled over a dozen times. The dimples at the corners of her lips remained faintly visible.

Bai Xunyin was someone who remained emotionally “neutral,” showing little happiness or anger. He vividly remembered that she hadn’t smiled this much in his company before.

But now she could smile so easily in front of Mu Anping?

Yu Luoyin sneered, removed the cigarette from his lips, and used his fingertip to extinguish the cigarette butt, barely feeling any pain.

Winter in Linlan City was damp and cold.

He was dressed in nothing more than his thin school uniform, and yet he didn’t feel cold. It was as if all sensation in his body had been lost, leaving only anger.

A full hour and thirteen minutes later, Bai Xunyin, Ah Mo, and Mu Anping finally finished their meal, and the sky had darkened completely.

Wrapped in their school uniform coats, they stepped out from the warm restaurant into the freezing winter night. All of them shivered from the cold.

“Find a spot out of the wind and wait a moment,” Mu Anping said, noticing Bai Xunyin’s shivering shoulders.

He hurriedly ran while speaking, “I’ll go to the roadside to hail a cab, and then I’ll call you.”

“Okay, okay!”

Ah Mo’s teeth chattered from the cold. She shivered and said, “We’ll wait indoors for a bit and come back later. Message me when you find a cab.”

She patted her pockets as she spoke, but her expression froze.

“Oh, crap.”

Ah Mo stood there bewildered for a while.

Regaining her senses, she stomped her foot and turned to Bai Xunyin, saying, “I left my phone in the restaurant. I have to go back and get it. Yinyin, wait here for me, just two minutes!”

With that, she hastily turned around to retrieve her phone, a sense of urgency sprang with her every movement.

Bai Xunyin smiled helplessly and stood obediently at where she was, but before she could even turn her head, she felt a sudden pain in her wrist.

She winced, and when she turned, she was met with the expressionless face of Yu Luoyin. Her heart “thudded” instantly.

Without any explanation, Yu Luoyin pulled her into the shadows.

After stumbling a few steps while being pulled, Bai Xunyin regained her senses and immediately began to struggle fiercely.

“Don’t move.”

Yu Luoyin forcibly led her to a corner, pressing his long arm against the wall to trap her, his deep eyes staring at the reluctant girl.

“Bai Xunyin, don’t move.”

Bai Xunyin’s delicate fingertips unconsciously pressed against the cold wall behind her. She lifted her face slightly, her eyes coldly meeting his.

It was as if she was asking, “What do you want?”

The girl’s attitude was almost openly conveying that she was disgusted with him.

It was a stark contrast to her cheerful demeanor while she was at the restaurant with others.

Yu Luoyin chuckled with anger, his long fingers by her head curled into a fist. His voice was cold, “Is the reason you want to break up because of him?”

That person, Mu Anping, her childhood friend.