Incurable Pain

IP Chapter 32

Incurable Pain | Chapter 32

In the end, Yu Luoyin didn’t have the fortune to taste the dishes Ji Huiying made with her own hands. Even though the dishes were plentiful, he couldn’t bear to stay.

After seeing those plastic papers, his appetite vanished, and he just wanted to quickly leave to find a quiet place to sort out his scattered emotions. He almost fled the scene.

“Sorry, Auntie, I suddenly…”

Yu Luoyin’s thin lips turned slightly pale, and he forced a smile.

“I suddenly feel a bit unwell, so I’ll head home first.”

“Why did your complexion suddenly turn so bad?”

Ji Huiying, seeing Yu Luoyin’s sudden paleness, walked over with some surprise and concern.

“Did you catch a cold wearing such thin clothes?”

“It’s nothing.” Yu Luoyin shook his head.

“I’ll feel better after I rest at home.”

“Okay then, let me treat you to dinner next time. Thank you for today,” Ji Huiying murmured with some regret, about to call Bai Xunyin to see their guest off.

“Xin…”

“No need,” Yu Luoyin hurriedly interrupted her.

“Auntie, there’s no need to call Bai Xunyin. She’s probably doing homework.”

Ji Huiying subconsciously retracted her words.

“No need to see me off. We’ll see each other at school tomorrow,” Yu Luoyin managed to regain some composure, forcing back some semblance of rationality with a genteel smile.

“Goodbye, Auntie.”

“Alright.”

Ji Huiying had no choice but to open the door for him.

“Oh, Auntie,” Yu Luoyin paused for a moment, his eyes involuntarily drifting towards the waste paper box.

Finding an excuse, he said, “Let me take out the trash for you.”

Ji Huiying hesitated.

“The seventh floor is too high for you…”

“It’s okay.”

Yu Luoyin smiled, stating firmly, “I’m strong enough to help you.”

Even though they had only spent a short time together, from Yu Luoyin’s behavior, Ji Huiying thought he was a “kind-hearted” child—one of those boys who couldn’t stand by and do nothing. So she didn’t insist and handed him the wastepaper box.

“Thank you.”

“No problem.”

Yu Luoyin shook his head, exceptionally obedient.

“Goodbye, Auntie.”

It wasn’t until he left Bai Xunyin’s home, left the building, and left the neighborhood that Yu Luoyin’s composed facade slowly shattered. He let out a long-held breath of pent-up frustration, feeling like he was choking.

Yu Luoyin didn’t let the waste paper box in his arms return to the trash can. Instead, he carried it all the way back “home”—not the standalone house he shared with Gu Yuan, but the one he rented near Third Middle High.

His arm, wrapped in bandages, initially felt the biting cold wind, but later, he lost all sensation.

When he returned, he found the lights in the house still on.

Zhou Xin, who often came over to stay, was in the living room, eating instant noodles as if they were pasta, engrossed in his exercise book.

Hearing the sound of the door opening, Zhou Xin didn’t raise his head or open his eyes, just spoke to Yu Luoyin who had entered, “Relatives are here at home, making a fuss. Come here and hide.”

Zhou Xin liked quietness, and he often came over. Yu Luoyin was used to it, didn’t bother to deal with him, and walked into the room expressionlessly, holding the broken box in his arms, his demeanor numb.

He placed the items on the table, his black eyes slightly lowered, staring blankly at the colorful contents inside.

When Zhou Xinsui passed by while throwing out the trash, he was somewhat surprised to see Yu Luoyin in such a daze. He raised an eyebrow and walked over to take a glance at what Yu Luoyin had brought back.

“Yu Luoyin,” Zhou Xinsui sipped water from his cup, mocking without reservation, “are you collecting junk in this state?”

Yu Luoyin felt a mixture of amusement and exasperation. He picked up one of the plastic papers with his slender fingers, wondering what kind of mess this was.

Honestly, even if someone wanted to use a box for a gift, they wouldn’t choose this kind of wrapping paper.

“Let go.”

Yu Luoyin’s voice was cold as he snatched the wrapping paper back from Zhou Xinsui’s hand, then carried the box back to his room as if it were a treasure.

“You took the wrong medicine?” Zhou Xinsui quipped.

“Ah Sui.”

Yu Luoyin took out a bottle of ice water from the fridge, tilted his head back and drank most of it in one go. Only after feeling his brain and limbs refreshed by the cold water did he sit on the sofa. His eyes seemed hollow as he stared at his fingers, as if talking to the air.

“Bai Xunyin and I had a falling out. We broke up.”

Zhou Xinsui’s fingers, which were solving problems, paused. He turned to look at Yu Luoyin, who looked as dejected as a wilted eggplant.

After a moment’s pause, he said frankly, “We all know.”

“…You two have been ignoring each other these days, and Bai Xunyin looks at you as if you’re her archenemy,” Zhou Xinsui hit him with the truth.

“Who wouldn’t notice?”

Yu Luoyin was stunned for a moment after hearing this, then gave a self-deprecating smile. He slowly said, “So you all know, huh?”

He felt quite foolish.

“But why do you look so lost now? Are you unwilling to part with Bai Xunyin?” Zhou Xinsui chuckled.

“You didn’t do this just for the bet, to play with her, did you?”

Did he really say those things before?

Hearing those reckless words from Zhou Xinsui’s mouth, Yu Luoyin couldn’t help but feel a bit bewildered.

“Now…” Zhou Xinsui glanced at his expression and couldn’t help but laugh.

“Do you regret it? Have you fallen for her?”

Yu Luoyin leaned back against the soft sofa, his back stiff. He asked softly, seemingly relaxed, “Is it not allowed?”

“It’s not that it’s not allowed, it’s just that I feel you deserve it,” Zhou Xinsui shrugged.

“But there’s nothing surprising about it. Bai Xunyin is considered the type of girl who is quite attractive.”

Zhou Xinsui rarely “compliments” others, and when Yu Luoyin heard this, his dark eyes suddenly became somewhat dangerous.

He stared at Zhou Xinsui intently. “Do you like her?”

“You idiot,” Zhou Xinsui laughed sarcastically and glanced at him.

“I like her sister.”

He had unique tastes and didn’t like girls who were like younger sisters.

Yu Luoyin realized belatedly that this guy, for some “indescribable” reason, had been studying hard, desperately trying to get into the same university as their “sister,” which somewhat reassured him.

When you treasure someone so much, you always feel like the whole world is filled with covetous “rivals,” and it’s life-threatening.

“I do like her, and I regret it,” Yu Luoyin admitted frankly.

He looked up at the ceiling, the curve from his jaw to his neck sleek and exquisite, and murmured to himself, “I’ve done something wrong.”

Seeing the packaging paper in the cardboard box at Bai Xunyin’s house, Yu Luoyin realized just how wrong he had been.

Bai Xunyin was willing to keep those worthless plastic papers but not accept the limited-edition Tiffany bracelet he had given her. He had thought she was just being childish, that his nonsense about the bet didn’t matter, that he could win her back with money, with some coaxing and cajoling…

“You’re a jerk, Yu Luoyin,” he laughed self-deprecatingly, feeling somewhat dejected.

“Knowing you regret it, why not apologize and ask for forgiveness? What’s the use of moping around?”

Zhou Xinsui didn’t even lift his head, continuing to write in his workbook. He added coldly, “You brought this upon yourself because of your past actions.”

Yu Luoyin fell silent for a moment, shaking his head. He now truly realized that Bai Xunyin wouldn’t forgive him easily. Apologizing wouldn’t work.

“Yu ge, moping around here won’t solve anything,” Zhou Xinsui raised an eyebrow, twirling his pen with his slender fingers.

“If it were me, I would do everything I could to win her back.”

Apologizing, coaxing—whatever works.

However, what Zhou Xinsui didn’t know was that Yu Luoyin had already tried all these methods, and they didn’t work.

Bai Xunyin wasn’t the kind of girl he could win back with just an apology or sweet words. To truly move her, he might have to understand what she had been through and what could touch her heart.

Today, seeing Bai Xunyin’s living environment, the cramped house, the father lying in the hospital, and her own inferiority complex about being a mute…

Yu Luoyin vaguely began to understand why Bai Xunyin was so sensitive to the words “bet” and “agreement.”

This girl didn’t grow up in a perfect family, and the words “trauma” were even harder for her to heal from.

However, how could he understand Bai Xunyin?

How could he know what she had been through?

At this moment, Yu Luoyin realized just how little he knew about the girl. When they were together, he only enjoyed her care and affection, never trying to truly understand her inner self.

When they were together, Bai Xunyin always seemed happy, never showing any signs of sorrow, and he believed it.

Yu Luoyin thought that people who got together in their youth were just “playing around.” He had been accustomed since childhood to not delve too deeply into someone’s character, and he didn’t want others to understand him either — he was used to maintaining a polite distance from everyone.

But now, when he needed to understand someone, he realized how cold this habit was.

Yu Luoyin absentmindedly thought, his fingertips unconsciously fidgeting. He felt the urge to smoke, but it had been a few days since he quit, and his school uniform pockets were empty. He felt lonely.

Yu Luoyin’s clear and sharp eyebrows furrowed subconsciously. He decided to go back to his room and sleep — when he slept, he didn’t have to think about anything.

But just as he stood up, a name flashed through his mind, and Yu Luoyin paused, his eyes suddenly brightening.

The next day, when Bai Xunyin wasn’t paying attention, Yu Luoyin cornered Ning Shumo.

“Hey, hey, hey.”

Ning Shumo suddenly felt a shadow fall in front of her and looked up to see Yu Luoyin’s “Demon face,” which startled her.

She instinctively took a step back, hugging herself, and asked warily, “Why are you cornering me? What do you want?”

“I have something to ask you.”

Since his fallout with Bai Xunyin, Yu Luoyin had even grown accustomed to Ning Shumo’s sarcastic remarks and harsh tone.

He politely asked, “I want to ask you about a few things regarding Bai Xunyin.”

As soon as she heard the name “Bai Xunyin,” Ning Shumo’s face darkened, and the anger in her heart surged up uncontrollably.

“Get lost,” Ning Shumo sneered coldly.

“Don’t ask me. You’re not worthy of mentioning Yin Yin’s name.”

“Do you think I have no shame?” Yu Luoyin smiled bitterly, completely discarding the facade he usually valued the most.

“I know I’m not worthy, but I still want to ask.”

Ning Shumo was stunned.

“Can you tell me what happened to her…”

Yu Luoyin paused, struggling to ask, “Why can’t she speak?”

Ning Shumo’s face turned cold, and she forcefully pushed away his hand leaning against the wall.

“Yu Luoyin, you’re not worthy, so why do you want to know about Yin Yin? Are you trying to play the role of a romantic or continue to deceive people?”

Ning Shumo sneered, her voice quick and sharp —

“I really don’t understand what Yin Yin did to you? Why are you treating her like this? Do you have some grudge against a girl? It’s despicable!”

“Ordinary people wouldn’t plot to pursue someone because of a bet, intentionally make them fall, and then kick them away, right? You’re really cunning.”

“Yin Yin has never been in a relationship since she was young. In high school, she was bullied by Shen Churan and the others because she couldn’t speak. She doesn’t trust her classmates at all, and her life has always been oppressive. Do you know about any of this?”

“You don’t know how much effort she put into self-improvement, how much determination it took for her to accept you. But you, this despicable person, attributed it to some stupid bet! You gave her a beautiful mirage and then ruthlessly shattered it, forcing her to wake up. Yu Luoyin, have you ever thought about understanding her?”

“You never thought about it, otherwise you wouldn’t have approached her because of a damn bet!”

“You don’t deserve to be close to Yin Yin. Stay away from her in the future!”

…

Ever since that day when she heard Yu Luoyin utter those damned words “bet” and “agreement” behind the school building, Ning Shumo had been holding it in her heart.

She didn’t have a chance to speak up until now.

Now that she finally encountered Yu Luoyin, who willingly came to be scolded, Ning Shumo naturally didn’t hold back her curses.

But in the end, she felt sorry for herself. Her fair face reddened involuntarily, but she didn’t want to embarrass herself. With a forceful wipe of her eyes, she glared fiercely at Yu Luoyin before turning and running away.

Running all the way back to the classroom, Ning Shumo was so angry that her teeth and hands were trembling uncontrollably. She sat at her desk for a long time, unable to calm down, resembling a young Parkinson’s patient.

Bai Xunyin glanced at her, puzzled, and asked on the paper, “What’s wrong?”

Ning Shumo lowered her voice and said fiercely in Yu Luoyin’s ear, “That bastard Yu Luoyin just came looking for me.”

Bai Xunyin was taken aback.

“He asked about you, clearly still up to no good,” Ning Shumo coldly hummed, feeling triumphant.

“Don’t worry, babe, I gave him a piece of my mind.”

Finally, she vented her anger!

Ning Shumo’s emotions were even more intense than Bai Xunyin’s, making her feel it wasn’t worth it. She had opened her heart to her first love, and now it was given to such a jerk. Just thinking about it made her furious.

If it weren’t for the fact that class was about to start, she could have cursed Yu Luoyin for an hour!

Seeing Ning Shumo’s indignant appearance, Bai Xunyin couldn’t help but smile slightly.

Having such a friend who wholeheartedly supports her at all times was always a touching thing. She wrote on a piece of paper.

[Ning Shumo, thank you.]

But now, she didn’t care what Yu Luoyin did.

With only four months left until the college entrance examination, she had no mood to pay attention to what Yu Luoyin was up to.

For a senior high school student, the only thing to focus on was the college entrance examination.

It was perhaps the most important exam in one’s life.

Perhaps because of Ning Shumo’s “stern scolding of Yu Luoyin,” Bai Xunyin’s life was quite peaceful for the next week.

Yu Luoyin finally stopped pestering her incessantly. Even when he sat behind her, he was quiet and often stared blankly at the girl’s slender back.

He had inexplicably lost weight, and compared to his previous shamelessness, he now seemed even more gaunt.

His lackluster appearance worried his friends even more. Li Yuan and Lu Ye, who were like “Lurking Tigers, Hidden Dragons,” would occasionally come over to see Yu Luoyin sitting by the window, unable to help but sigh as if they were looking at a terminally ill patient.

“Yu, bro, isn’t it just a breakup? How many of us haven’t broken up a few times?”

Li Yuan shamelessly patted him on the shoulder, trying to “comfort” him.

“The next one will be better.”

Yu Luoyin lifted his eyelids expressionlessly, giving him a look that said, “Thanks for caring for the intellectually disabled.”

“Yu, I heard that Bai Xunyin… it’s because of that bet?” Lu Ye, on the other hand, had chased after Bai Xunyin before because of that incident and felt somewhat guilty.

He hesitated and asked, “Should I apologize?”

…

Yu Luoyin didn’t answer, just coldly curled his lips.

What’s the use of apologizing?

If Bai Xunyin doesn’t forgive him, will she even acknowledge Lu Ye?

Watching Yu Luoyin’s unpredictable demeanor, Li Yuan and Lu Ye exchanged glances, feeling that this person was brewing an inexplicable storm in his heart, which was extremely frightening.

Without the annoying ghosts by his side, Yu Luoyin’s gaze returned to the empty desk in front of him – it was break time, and Bai Xunyin had gone out, but he still felt somewhat empty if he didn’t keep an eye on her.

Yu Luoyin couldn’t help but gently pinch the bridge of his nose.

For the past week, the words Ning Shumo had said were like a fuse buried in his mind, ready to explode at any moment, leaving him restless.

He even felt like he was covered in thorns, filthy and muddy, and he didn’t dare to approach Bai Xunyin.

Ning Shumo’s words made it impossible for him to continue being shamelessly stubborn.

There is karma in this world. Just a month ago, he took pleasure in manipulating Bai Xunyin as if she were a toy in the palm of his hand, feeling smug. Now, however, it felt like he was walking on needles, each step toward her feeling precarious.

“You don’t know how much effort she put into self-improvement, how much determination it took for her to accept you!”

This sentence left the deepest impression on him, making Yu Luoyin feel as if his heart was being squeezed tightly every time he thought about it.

What exactly was it about Bai Xunyin… that made her need so much psychological preparation just to enter a relationship?

Why?

He desperately wanted to know why. What was it about this girl that made her protect herself so thoroughly, like building layer upon layer of fortress walls, impenetrable and airtight?

Yu Luoyin had previously spent several months trying to open her heart, only to shatter it before he could capture anything.

He didn’t want to give up like this.

His phone, which was placed in the desk drawer, suddenly buzzed restlessly.

Yu Luoyin glanced down and frowned slightly as he answered, “Hello?”

“Mr. Yu, the matter you asked me to investigate a few days ago is almost done.”

A low, respectful voice came from the other end of the line.

“When should I hand it over to you? Do you have time to meet tonight?”

Yu Luoyin absentmindedly tapped his slender fingertips on the desk and glanced out of the classroom window, seeing Bai Xunyin returning. He murmured in agreement and, lowering his voice, quickly said, “I’ll come find you tonight,” before hanging up the phone.

Watching Bai Xunyin return to her seat, Yu Luoyin lowered his eyes slightly, his fair and slender fingers curling up.

Actually, he knew he was despicable, a scoundrel… but being so used to being cunning, he couldn’t help but do some despicable things.

As the bell rang, Yu Shen walked into the classroom with a stack of teaching materials in his arms, standing at the platform and looking down at the buzzing swarm of students below. He picked up the teaching baton and tapped the blackboard—

“Quiet down. The results of the mock exam from last week are out.”

During school days, “class dismissed” and “exam results are out” were like two magic spells, capable of instantly quieting down the chaotic classroom at any time.

After all, even the worst students wanted to know how they did, let alone the top students.

But Yu Shen delivered a twist, calmly saying, “Check the main bulletin board in the corridor after class.”

Then, without wasting a minute, he calmly began the class, ignoring the students’ silent disdainful looks.

As soon as class ended, all the students rushed to the main bulletin board in the corridor, crowding around and making it impossible to move.

Bai Xunyin lazily refused to join the crowd, thinking it would be better to wait for the “ebb tide” in five minutes before checking. She declined the impatient Ning Shumo’s offer and continued to lower her head to do her work at her desk, unhurriedly.

She seemed to… always know the right thing to do at the right time, forever maintaining this indifferent demeanor.

Yu Luoyin also didn’t go to check. Instead, he sat at his desk, watching Bai Xunyin’s figure, lost in aimless thoughts.

The students in the classroom dispersed quickly, leaving only the two of them.

When Bai Xunyin raised her head after finishing a question and subconsciously thought about leaving, it was already too late. She was stopped a few steps away by the tall and slim boy.

Yu Luoyin dared to be so unscrupulous only because there was no one else around.

Bai Xunyin’s first reaction was to take a step back, her glass-like eyes alert, filled with vigilance.

“I just want to say something to you,” Yu Luoyin couldn’t help but smile bitterly at Bai Xunyin’s instinctive reaction.

“You don’t have to be afraid.”

Bai Xunyin frowned slightly.

Yu Luoyin could tell what she meant by the look in her eyes—she wasn’t afraid of him, she was disgusted by him.

Like encountering a fly, or a ruffian, that kind of involuntary revulsion and disgust.

The fingers hanging by his side unconsciously clenched into fists, and Yu Luoyin looked at her steadily, his voice so soft it was almost like he was speaking to himself.

“Bai Xunyin… tell me, what else can I do?”

What exactly could he do to make her not hate him so much?

Yu Luoyin felt ridiculous, even more ridiculous than the clowns in movies—

What’s the point of realizing the value of something only after losing it, when it’s too late to regret?

He felt like he was just putting on an act, and he couldn’t expect Bai Xunyin to ‘pity’ him.

The classroom was quiet, and Yu Luoyin never expected Bai Xunyin to acknowledge him. However, unexpectedly, after looking at him for a few seconds, Bai Xunyin bent down and wrote a line on the paper.

[Go watch a movie.]

A movie?

Yu Luoyin looked at her with some surprise.

Bai Xunyin wrote down the name of the movie [She Doesn’t Actually Like You That Much.]

The girl’s elegant and neat handwriting was like a sickle, making Yu Luoyin’s bones unconsciously turn pale.

He understood what Bai Xunyin meant—

By changing ‘him’ to ‘her,’ she was telling him that she didn’t actually like him that much, so he didn’t need to indulge in self-love and continue racking his brains trying to salvage something. Missing out on it was just missing out.

But…

Yu Luoyin forced a smile and said, “You can watch another movie.”

A hint of confusion flashed in Bai Xunyin’s eyes.

So Yu Luoyin made up a movie title on the spot, as if he were spitting out his heartfelt confession.

“He Actually Does Like You.”

Bai Xunyin told herself that she wasn’t as fond of him as he thought she was, whether it was true or not, Yu Luoyin accepted it.

But he also had to tell Bai Xunyin that not everything he did before was insincere… because Bai Xunyin would definitely misunderstand him.

“Yinyin,”

Yu Luoyin stared at the dazed girl, his voice low, like a whispered plea.

“Can I pursue you again?”

Anyway, he wanted to try again.

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Sleepyblue’s Corner:

Please also check my other works!

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