Incurable Pain

IP Chapter 50

Incurable Pain | Chapter 50

In the evening, lying in bed unable to sleep, Bai Xunyin felt like there was a stone in her stomach, making her feel bloated.

She furrowed her brows lightly, rubbed her abdomen, and unconsciously flashed back to the words Yu Shitian had said tonight, each one piercing her ears like a haunting melody.

“My brother just can’t forget his vixen ex-girlfriend.”

“He hasn’t dated anyone in six years.”

“Tsk tsk, I really want to see what his ex-girlfriend looks like.”

…

If Yu Shitian knew that the ‘vixen’ was herself, how ridiculous would that scene be?

Thinking of this, Bai Xunyin couldn’t help but let out a light laugh tinged with a sense of ‘bitter amusement.’ 

However, the smile on her lips faded slowly.

She remembered another thing Yu Shitian had told her just now.

Another thing related to their past, a detail that opened the door to forgotten memories.

It was during the time when Bai Xunyin felt the most painful, right around New Year’s Eve, when the boy’s playful antics shattered her entire world like a mirage, especially the bracelet Yu Luoyin had given her.

That bracelet, which she had initially seen as a glamorous leash, felt like a shackle around her wrist, binding her tightly.

Today, Bai Xunyin learned that the Tiffany bracelet was purchased by Yu Luoyin through Yu Shitian, and there was a ‘story’ behind it.

“My brother was really serious about that girl. I remember during my second year of high school, on New Year’s Eve, he insisted that I find a way to get him a limited edition bracelet to please his girlfriend.” 

Yu Shitian, unable to contain her excitement when gossiping about Yu Luoyin’s past, continued, “There was none available in the entire Linlan City, so I asked someone to bring one from Fancheng overnight. Guess what happened? That girl didn’t buy his story at all, and my brother was in a foul mood for a whole month.”

When Yu Shitian reached this point, she couldn’t help but gloat, continuing, “But he deserved it. He’s such a jerk. Later, he told me he only got together with that girl because of a bet. When she ignored him, he was so remorseful.”

“But where in the world can you find so many second chances? Even if I think that girl is a seductive vixen, and my brother can’t forget her, it doesn’t change the fact that he deserved it.”

Yu Shitian was a truly perceptive person. Because she had watched Yu Luoyin remain ‘alone’ for so many years, she felt sorry for her brother emotionally, hence using the term ‘vixen’ to describe that girl from back then.

But morally, she still believed her brother deserved it—after all, girls could understand girls.

Bai Xunyin listened calmly throughout, smiling faintly at the end.

After so many years, she finally realized that she wasn’t the only one suffering back then. Yu Luoyin had also turned to others like an immature boy, all to win her back.

Bai Xunyin couldn’t help but ask herself a question—if she had known about Yu Luoyin’s actions six years ago, and could foresee his despair and sadness after she left, would she still have made the same decision as back then?

Actually, the answer came in less than a minute. 

She would still have done it. 

Perhaps she was just a cold-blooded creature by nature.

It’s not that she didn’t like Yu Luoyin, but this kind of affection couldn’t overcome reality, such as the gap between them, their families, and so on…

These issues were real barriers between them at the time. Yu Luoyin didn’t understand, but could she turn a blind eye to them?

But what about now?

Now that she had a decent education, a house, and everything to hold her head up high, would that inexplicable ‘inferiority’ from her youth still haunt her?

Bai Xunyin’s brain, which usually delved into quantum physics theories tirelessly when doing modeling, wouldn’t be as chaotic as it was at this moment. 

It was simply impossible to think clearly.

Fortunately, Amo sent a message at this time, interrupting her thoughts. But the content of the message seemed to add fuel to the fire inexplicably.

[Yinyin, I just saw in the class group chat that Yu Luoyin seems to be attending this gathering for the first time. He’s never attended before. Is it because of you? Hehehe.]

The last three ‘hehehes’ exposed the gossipy nature of the message.

Bai Xunyin’s eyelashes twitched slightly, and after some thought, she replied with an ellipsis.

Speechless.

Amo’s messages came one after another—

[How about I add you to the group?]

[Even if I don’t say who it is, probably no one will ask.]

[You can take a look at those high-end elite students from back then. Now they’re just chatting about trivial things every day. Hahaha.]

Bai Xunyin pursed her lips and replied with a simple ‘okay.’

Amo was surprised by how readily she agreed. With a few more ‘ahs,’ she instantly added her to the group, acting exceptionally swiftly.

…

In the group she had just joined, many people were talking about the upcoming class reunion.

Bai Xunyin casually glanced at it and set it to ‘Do Not Disturb.’ She inexplicably clicked on the list of group members beside it.

The group consisted of more than thirty people, with no indication of each person’s real name, only their WeChat nicknames. Yet Bai Xunyin immediately spotted Yu Luoyin among them.

After six years, he still used the same white smiley face profile picture, and his WeChat nickname was still a simple ‘。’ (dot).

Was he too lazy to change it, or did he simply not use this WeChat account anymore?

Bai Xunyin hesitated for a moment before clicking on his profile picture. His Moments were also empty, whether it was because strangers couldn’t see them or because he never posted anything, she didn’t know.

Bai Xunyin stared at the ‘Add to Contacts’ below the smiling face profile picture, as if her fingers were possessed by the devil. 

Unconsciously, she clicked on it.

Then she regretted it instantly.

Bai Xunyin frowned in annoyance. Just as she was about to exit without sending the next friend request, she was surprised to find that the screen had jumped directly to the chat box with Yu Luoyin.

She skipped that step.

Bai Xunyin stared at the screen dumbfoundedly for several seconds before realizing what had happened.

Could it be… Yu Luoyin had never deleted her all these years?

For a moment, there was a taste in her heart that she couldn’t describe. 

Bai Xunyin turned off her phone in frustration, deciding not to think about it anymore.

Occasionally, she also wanted to be a person who could escape from reality.

But adding someone on WeChat was just adding someone on WeChat. From that night onwards, Bai Xunyin felt like her WeChat list had gained an extra ‘□□.’

Although she never posted Moments, her WeChat usage was like a ‘solitary island’ just like Yu Luoyin’s, she couldn’t help but sneak a look.

The girl who used to rarely look at her phone, now every time her phone buzzes, she would subconsciously take a glance. She also checked her Moments more frequently than before.

Even Li Chengfeng noticed this change in her behavior. After several times, he understood, and teasingly asked her, “Xiao Bai, are you in love?”

Bai Xunyin was caught off guard by his sudden question, feeling bewildered, she hurriedly denied, “Teacher… No, not at all.”

Why did Professor Li ask her that?

“Haha, such a pretty young girl, how could she not have a boyfriend?”

‘Having a partner’ was a topic that middle-aged and elderly people loved and were enthusiastic about. 

Li Chengfeng immediately said, “If you really don’t have one, let me introduce you to someone. There are many good young men in our institute.”

“Thank you, Professor,” Bai Xunyin said with a wry smile, gently declining Li Chengfeng’s kindness, “I don’t have such plans for now.”

“That’s good.” 

Li Chengfeng didn’t insist, and praised her, saying, “At your age, it’s the time to focus on studying.”

As for dating and relationships, they could be put on hold for now.

Upon hearing this, Bai Xunyin’s restless heart inexplicably ‘settled’ a bit these days. Professor Li was right, just go with the flow. 

Thinking too much only adds to the trouble.

But matters of the heart, if they don’t suddenly appear and stir up a pool of spring water in your heart, how can they make you feel ‘like a deer in headlights’?

In the evening, Amo, who finished work around the same time, invited her to dinner. They ate at the time-honored wonton restaurant in Linlan Guihua Alley.

This restaurant had been open for decades. The owners, from a vibrant middle-aged couple, had turned into slightly stooped sixty-year-old seniors, but the taste had never changed.

The handmade elastic noodles were fragrant, the meat filling was juicy, and the soup, seasoned with seaweed and dried shrimp, was so delicious that one could easily drink it all up.

In the end, the two girls each packed some uncooked fresh wontons, planning to cook them for breakfast the next morning.

Working in the research institute was more tiring than working on projects in the lab. Bai Xunyin returned home around seven in the evening, feeling the slight soreness in her shoulders from the tension of the day.

She frowned and gently rubbed her shoulders before taking her change of clothes to the bathroom for a shower.

When she emerged, her slender figure was clad in a nightgown, with a mist of moisture clinging to her body. Her long hair was wrapped in a shower cap, and Bai Xunyin walked to the computer desk in slippers.

Just as she received a call from a colleague saying that there was an unclear XRD ending today, she sat in front of the computer, focused on making adjustments. She heard her phone vibrate on the table and thought it was a reminder from her colleague. 

She casually glanced at it and saw a WeChat message from Yu Luoyin’s ‘。’.

Her fingers, which were poised over the keyboard, stiffened.

Bai Xunyin blinked in disbelief, hurriedly unlocked her phone and opened the message. However, what she saw was that ‘。’ had retracted a message.

Retracted?

Bai Xunyin frowned.

Her finger, hovering over the screen of her phone, hesitated for a moment before she couldn’t resist sending a message to Yu Luoyin, asking.

[What did you just retract?]

Almost at the same time, on Yu Luoyin’s end, he also asked her with a sense of telepathy.

[Why did you add me?]

…

This damn ‘coincidence.’

Six years later, receiving a message from Yu Luoyin again, Bai Xunyin suddenly realized something.

Yu Luoyin… should have been regularly sending messages to this WeChat account of hers, hopeless, one-sided messages.

But she never expected to accept them today. What did he send that made him hurry to retract it?

And on the other side of the phone, Yu Luoyin, realizing that the message he sent out routinely didn’t have the ‘little red dot’ in front of it, undoubtedly felt a sense of ‘mental breakdown.’

He dared to ‘harass’ her from time to time in this WeChat that would definitely not get a response, fundamentally believing that she wouldn’t add him back.

What a ruthless girl, deleting all her contact information by herself. 

How could she silently add him back?

So, he had been ‘talking to a brick wall’ for six years.

But he didn’t expect to step on a landmine today.

Staring at the message Bai Xunyin sent over, Yu Luoyin was momentarily stunned, and the tight corner of his lips couldn’t help but pull into a smile.

Just… there was a faint feeling that he had opened a crack in the ‘thousand-year-old clamshell.’

Yu Luoyin felt that their pattern would always be like this—his infinite desert, passionately pursuing a single blade of grass named ‘Bai Xunyin.’ He shook his head with a smile and left.

But even so, he was willing.

Because in the desert, that single blade of grass was rare. Maybe in this lifetime, his boundless heart would only have this one named ‘Bai Xunyin.’

Bai Xunyin didn’t wait long for Yu Luoyin’s reply. Absentmindedly, before she wanted to subconsciously turn off the computer she received his response—

[I miss you.]

Four simple words made her heart suddenly beat wildly, but she couldn’t resist.

Bai Xunyin couldn’t help but ponder a question—was the message Yu Luoyin retracted today ‘I miss you,’ or was it the same four words he sent every time?

The original author wants to say that in Rabindranath Tagore’s “Stray Birds,” there’s a line: “Love is an endless desert, with a fervent pursuit of a single blade of grass.” 

—Stray Birds

Sleepyblue’s Corner:

Hi guys!

I’ve made a decision that I’ve been hesitating on for a long time… Due to some necessities, I will continue to upload content daily, but the upcoming chapters will be password-protected and can be unlocked at my Ko-fi shop. The rate is 1 dollar💲for 10 chapter unlocks🔐 for readers that are willing.

You can find the link here➡️ Unlock IP Chapters 51-60 or you may also click the ko-fi button below.

Please don’t worry as chapters will still be made available for free 50 days after their initial release. Additionally, a complete copy of the series can be purchased at my Ko-fi shop, though this is entirely optional! I sincerely apologize for this inconvenience🙇🏽‍♀️

Sincerely,

Sleepyblue💌