Incurable Pain

IP Chapter 89

Incurable Pain | Chapter 89

A long time later, Sheng Wen told Ning Shumo that he had wanted to confess back then.

That day, the classroom in the night was almost the most emotionally intense day of his seventeen years of life. 

Even though it didn’t show on his face, his heart was already experiencing turbulent waves.

That was… the closest he had ever been to ‘impulsiveness.’

But in the end, looking at Ning Shumo’s timid, black eyes, he forcibly suppressed his feelings.

He wasn’t worthy.

Sheng Wen asked himself inwardly, was someone who had nothing worthy of someone like Ning Shumo, who was so bright and almost the best girl in the world?

So, in the girl’s astonished gaze, Sheng Wen cleared his throat as if nothing had happened and said, “Is there any math problem you can’t solve?”

He was only worthy of helping her with problems—even though he clearly knew why Ning Shumo was here, studying math problems she couldn’t solve so late at night.

It was just that the young man didn’t dare to say anything.

He didn’t dare to say that he actually really liked Ning Shumo, that all of this wasn’t just her own one-man show… but Sheng Wen now only dared to sit across from her, not even deserving to sit beside her.

He had to be at least a meter away, just to restrain his desire to get closer to her.

Even though the girl’s fair, palm-sized face and fluttering eyelashes were right in front of him, making his heart pound to the extreme.

“Sheng Wen.” 

The girl’s voice was soft, unlike her usual exuberance, but rather with a subtle hint of grievance. 

“Do you think I can get into Xiaoda University?”

Sheng Wen’s slender fingers holding the pen stopped.

“I’m working so hard now…” Ning Shumo sniffled. 

“Is it all in vain?”

She hung her eyes despondently, unaware that the boy had almost snapped the pen out of pity, Sheng Wen’s fair handback showing prominent blue veins.

In the classroom where only the two of them were present, the atmosphere was almost stagnant. After a while, Sheng Wen finally spoke.

“It doesn’t matter whether you go to Xiaoda University or not,” the boy’s voice was cold and devoid of emotion. 

“Your grades are good enough to get into a good university.”

Ning Shumo’s fingers under the table unconsciously twisted together.

She looked up at the boy, who seemed indifferent, and when she spoke, her voice trembled slightly. 

“Originally, I didn’t care where I went, but now… Sheng Wen, do you really not know why I want to go to Xiaoda University?”

…

How could he not know?

But precisely because he knew, Sheng Wen felt that he didn’t deserve to let Ning Shumo go through so much hardship and pain for him.

“My life is like a narrow bridge where I can’t afford to make a wrong step.”

Sheng Wen wrote the solution to the problem on the paper and then handed it to the girl. His expression seemed cold and devoid of emotion. 

“You have many choices, Ning Shumo. Regardless, I am very grateful to you.”

Thank you for being so good to me.

It made him realize that besides studying, there were other things in life that could pique his interest, such as the girl he had never thought about before.

If he were to meet Ning Shumo again in a few years, after being financially and personally independent?

Sheng Wen couldn’t help but think about this question.

And now he had an answer.

If there were really an if, then he would definitely pursue her recklessly, just like Ning Shumo did now, without fear.

With Sheng Wen’s help, that difficult math problem was no longer a big deal.

Around eleven o’clock, the two of them left the almost empty school—except for the patrolling security guards.

Sheng Wen remained silent but followed behind Ning Shumo, clearly intending to accompany her home.

That night, the sky over Linlan was clear, as if it had been washed by water, and the stars were dazzling.

When Ning Shumo walked out of the school gate, she stopped and looked up at the stars.

Sheng Wen didn’t stop her or urge her on, he just stopped and followed her. She looked at the stars, and he looked at her.

“Maybe it’s because it’s always raining in Linlan, after the mist clears, I always feel like there are the most beautiful stars here.” 

Ning Shumo murmured, “But unfortunately, we won’t be able to see them for the next four years. You’ll be looking at the stars in the North City, and I… I’m going to Song City.”

She had figured it out, maybe Bai Xinyin was right.

She shouldn’t chase unattainable fantasies, but rather grasp achievable dreams.

The difference between fantasy and dream seemed to be just one word, but the latter was a goal she could achieve.

Ning Shumo had almost forgotten when she had originally wanted to go to Song University.

Sheng Wen looked at the delicate profile of the girl in the night, feeling as if something in his heart was gradually extinguishing.

There was almost a moment when he wanted to blurt out: I’ll go with you!

But the instinct to act recklessly existed in Sheng Wen’s mechanized life only to a small extent, almost nonexistent.

He still hadn’t forgotten his goals from childhood to adulthood—he wanted to go to the best university, the TOP 1.

They both had their own paths to choose, their own dreams.

If they were to give up something because of their youthful recklessness at this moment, they would definitely regret it in the future.

So, after a moment of bloodshed in his heart, Sheng Wen smiled silently.

“Ning Shumo,” he said gently, “Study well, um… and live happily.”

This was probably the best blessing he, a person who was not good with words and clumsy, could say.

Ning Shumo burst into laughter, looking into the boy’s eyes, which seemed to be as bright as a whole sky full of stars.

They would both remember this night.

Because it was the closest their shadows had ever been.

*

That summer when the top students of Class 3 in their senior year graduated, almost everyone achieved their ideals, whether they were prepared or not, and they all went their separate ways.

Ning Shumo was a girl who loved to join in the fun and enjoyed making a fuss about worldly affairs, but she didn’t attend the class farewell dinner.

“I’m so pathetic.”

The girl looked at Bai Xinyin, half-jokingly, half-seriously, “I’m afraid I’ll cry.”

The only person who could make this ‘scatterbrained’ girl feel like crying was Sheng Wen. 

Who else could it be?

“I’m already prepared to never see him again.”

Ning Shumo took a deep breath, a feigned smile hanging on her pale face. 

“Let’s start from today.”

That night’s farewell dinner was spent with Bai Xinyin.

The two girls each had their own worries, and after drinking for the first time, they both couldn’t handle alcohol and ended up falling asleep in Ning Shumo’s bedroom.

Later, Ning Shumo learned that Sheng Wen hadn’t attended the class farewell dinner either.

Neither did Bai Xinyin, nor did Yu Luoyin… It seemed that their so-called ‘youth’ had ended with a whimper.

And university life passed even faster, almost in the blink of an eye, from enrollment to graduation.

Although it was only four years, because Ning Shumo studied forensic science, and she spent two more years in graduate school, her family had to arrange a job for her.

Ning Shumo didn’t know why she chose this peculiar profession, which was neither human nor ghostly. Starting from her sophomore year, she faced corpses almost every day.

Whether they were simulated or real… In short, she had seen all sorts of terrifying scenes.

The girl who used to cover her eyes when watching horror movies was now calm when facing the giant figures in reality.

Actually, the things she used to fear were just like that. Life could always toughen people up.

And because of the peculiar nature of Ning Shumo’s profession, she was the only female in the entire Criminal Investigation Brigade.

She effortlessly became a “flower” in the what’s-its-name police team.

To be honest, Ning Shumo didn’t really care.

——Even if you find another flower, what difference would it make?

The girl who had gradually grown into a ‘woman’ mingled with a large group of men every day, from old to young, all cherishing this auspicious-like young girl.

But Ning Shumo had never been in love.

Many people confessed their feelings to her, showed their interest, but she just didn’t feel that heart-pounding sensation.

Well, where in the world did so many love at first sight, superficial attraction, heart-pounding moments… and Sheng Wen come from?

Actually, Ning Shumo didn’t think of Sheng Wen very often.

Maybe in the first two years of university, she did. Seeing her roommates all falling in love, she occasionally felt a stir of emotions and wanted to try it out herself.

But those boys were not Sheng Wen.

Ning Shumo refused to admit that she was indulging in melodramatic behavior, waiting for Sheng Wen or something. She just didn’t want to settle; she wanted to meet someone even more irresistible than Sheng Wen.

And she believed she would.

For a girl as pretty and lovely as her, if she couldn’t find her ideal partner, then there must be something wrong.

Ning Shumo was so self-confident and stubbornly persistent, so she remained single year after year without feeling that there was anything wrong with it.

Except for Valentine’s Day every year.

But Valentine’s Day was just a mess of seven or eight days out of the year, compared to the remaining more than 350 days of freedom, wasn’t it?

Ning Shumo was very good at calculating this account.

Being able to meet Sheng Wen again was actually unexpected.

Ning Shumo had always been someone who arrived at school at the last minute, except for the few months in her senior year of high school when she delivered breakfast to Sheng Wen, she was slightly more diligent.

So don’t expect her to change completely after starting work.

As usual, she rushed to work, driving in a hurry—there was no parking space at the Criminal Investigation Bureau, so most people parked their cars in the underground parking lot of the adjacent office building, about three hundred meters away, and then hurried over.

Ning Shumo had long been familiar with the process, and a series of actions flowed smoothly—except that today, she accidentally bumped into someone.

And she clumsily knocked over the files the person was holding, papers flying everywhere.

“Ah, I’m so sorry, I apologize!” 

Ning Shumo didn’t care about being late for work and not receiving the full attendance award this time. 

She hurriedly squatted down to help pick up the things, muttering with her head down and her eyes closed, “I’m in too much of a hurry. I’ll pick them up for you.”

The girl’s movements were quick and skillful, and she quickly stacked the papers neatly. After standing up, there was a hint of a smile on her face. 

“Here you go…”

When she saw the man in front of her, all the words she had wanted to say got stuck in her throat in an instant.

Ning Shumo was dumbfounded.

She hadn’t expected to see Sheng Wen in this situation after more than five years.

And she recognized him at a glance, not only because Sheng Wen was the person she had engraved on her heart, but also because he hadn’t changed much at all.

The boy who used to wear a school uniform now wore a suit, still thin, with pale skin and jet-black hair, his eyebrows…

A pair of deep, unreadable eyes looked at her.

It was still Sheng Wen who broke the silence first.

His deep voice was somewhat light, and he hesitated, “Ning… Shumo?”

Lu Xun once said, “Destiny often plays tricks on mediocre people.”

At this moment, they both felt it.