Jorge Joestar

Chapter 13: The Enemy

However many copies of Antonio Torres there were, this wasno time to be fainting. I told Lisa Lisa what had happened with Jim Graham, andshe said,

“He pulled out his own tongue and internal organs? Hunh…sohe emptied out his body. He threw the insides into the ocean, but is back atbase…so what’s inside his body?”

There was no doubt in my mind. Antonio Torres has showedhimself moments before Jim snapped. There was no sign of him after we crashed,but he hadn’t just vanished into thin air like some sort of ghost. Had heclimbed inside Jim’s body while I was trying to snap a second photograph?

“If that theory is correct,”

Lisa Lisa went on,

“Then the problem is, he retains enough to fly a plane andblend in at the base without anyone realizing he isn’t the real Jim. AntonioTorres was a mean kid, but not stupid; and if knowledge and personality areharbored in the skin then that’s a vital fact me and the other Hamon Warriorsneed to know.”

Antonio had acquired a shocking new power to escape the painof his mother’s abuse. He could shed his own skin like a snake, give it to hisbatshit crazy mom, but for that skin to remain alive (yet dead) was…

“Two other problems,”

Lisa Lisa said.

“If he is wearing Jim Graham’s body, how is Antonio Torreswalking around in broad daylight?”

Oh, right, I thought. Some of the Gremlin sightings reportedsmall 50 centimeter ones showing up in the day, but the one meter 30 centimeterones only appeared at night or on cloudy days.

“Second, we have an intelligent zombie who can hide inside ahuman being, allowing them to operate during the day. And by simple arithmeticthere are more than sixteen thousand of these. If they weren’t messing aboutwith planes for fun, but to learn the construction and how to fly them, thanthat could be very bad. Zombies can move anywhere in the world very quickly,and there are a lot of dead bodies lying around right now. If the zombies

brought those bodies to life, and those new zombies attackedthe living, creating even more zombies, then the zombie empire would expandexplosively, far faster than any pyramid scheme.”

A ripple of alarm went through the Hamon Warriors around us.Lisa Lisa turned to face Straits and the others.

“Antonio Torres was on La Palma, and knows about the HamonWarriors. He knows I’m one of them, and he’s seen me come to get Jorge, so I’msure he’s already taken action. Whatever he does next will be big. We have tomove quickly ourselves, while keeping an eye on the English Air Force.”

“Mm,”

Straits said, nodding.

“But how can we fight zombies flying fighter planes? Wecan’t lace the ships’ bullets with Hamon, and Hamon doesn’t travel through theair. Sitting in the cockpit, there’s no way for us to touch the zombiesdirectly.”

“Don’t worry. Jorge will shoot them all down,”

Lisa Lisa said. She wasn’t smiling. Woah, woah, I thoughtbut then FOOOM a huge impact rocked the ground, reminding me that we were on abattlefield. A Hamon Warrior came rushing in.

“Enemy attack! The English are bombing us!”

No sooner had the words left his mouth than the hallwayexploded, blowing him away. Ka-boom! A cloud of smoke and dust was left behind.The lights went out.

“Lisa Lisa!”

“Jorge!”

Our cries overlapped. I reached out my hand and found shehad done the same, and our hands clasped.

“This way!”

she yelled, and pulled me after her into a run. Thuddd!Booom! More explosions shook the underground headquarters. The ceiling fell,and the walls crumbled as we ran past.

“How did they find us?”

Lisa Lisa asked.

“They must have tailed us in the Motorizing!”

I said.

“Impossible! Steven and I would have noticed if we werefollowed! I was watching for that the whole time!”

“Then you’ve got a mole!”

“…….!?”

The underground passage led down to a cave that opened ontothe ocean, and the cave had been modified into a harbor. As we burst out of thepassage, Steven waved his hand.

“Jorge! Over here!”

Two hydroplane Motorizings were floating in the harbor, andLisa Lisa and I jumped into one. The engine was already running, and thepropellers spinning. The second we were in the cockpit, Steven yelled,

“You know how to fly it, right, Jorge!?”

I threw him a thumbs up.

“Got it! I’ve been flying a while now.”

“Ha ha ha! Then we’ll have no problem with these monsters!They’re just copying what they saw real pilots do!”

Damn straight. Steven and I started our planes taxiing. Weran side by side through the cave, engines sputtering, two walls of waterspraying up behind us. The moment we left the cave mouth we started rising. Ilooked up and at a glance saw at least a dozen English Air Force Sopwith Camelswhirling overhead, dropping bombs on the hidden base.

“Stop it!”

I shouted, but to no avail. Between the thunder of the bombsand the roar of our engines my voice never reached them, and my friends flyingthose Camels were already dead. I passed close enough to make sure, and thepilots eyes were focused on nothing, his head twisted in an unnatural direction,a horrible rictus smile on his face. Lisa Lisa reached up from behind, and puther hand on my shoulder.

“I’m fine. Thanks,”

I said, but I doubt she heard me. The pilots I’d foughtalongside were gone now. Planes that had given me courage were just enemy machinesnow. But I was glad to know for sure. I accepted it, and it gave me strength.Thanks, I thought. You’ve made it easier to pull the trigger. Now I could focuson protecting the Hamon Warriors. Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat! My machinegun fired. One plane down, and Steven was starting his

attack. The other planes noticed us coming, and beganfighting back, but they were no match for our experience. We took them down oneat a time. No wasted bullets. Get behind them, and put a rat-tat-tat through theirengine. Boom. They just gaped at the bullet holes. I mean, they were alreadydead. I flew between two Camels, shooting out their wings. They broke up in theair, and the planes started spinning; I dodged them and shot out the belly ofthe next Camel. Bang bang. Boom! It exploded in the air, and I dodged thefragments, did a loop, and looked for my next target. I heard a machine gunfiring behind me, shook off the zombie who’d had the nerve to shoot at me, dida quick turn, got his back, and pulled the trigger. Rat-tat-tat! The bulletshit the pilot’s body but no blood emerged from the holes in his back or head.Instead, something came slithering up out of him; Antonio Torres, with no eyes.I didn’t hesitate to send more bullets his way. Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tattat-tat!Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat! I shredded his flat body with bullets,pulverizing it. There was a smile on my face, but tears streaming down mycheeks. He’d bullied me daily, always come after me, killed my friends, andattacked the heroes who could save mankind and now I was gonna kill the shitout of him ha ha ha! Bang bang bang bang! Another zombie pilot came at mebefore I could wipe the tears away. Rat-tat-tat! Booooom! Rat-tat-tat-tat!Vrooooom! Boom! The plane spiraled away, trailing smoke, and I had just madesure it smashed into the ground, when the other Motorizing shot across my fieldof vision with a zombie plane on its heels, guns firing. I quickly dropped mynose, firing down at the zombie plane and it blew up just as I passed it, whichwas a little too close for comfort.

“Sorry, Lisa Lisa! You aren’t hurt?”

I asked, and turned around to find Lisa Lisa’s eyessparkling.

“I’m fine! You’re amazing, Jorge! So strong!”

Lisa Lisa had never said anything like that to me, and Iwent bright red, but the zombie I’d just killed had been a better pilot thanme, a better shot, and had way more ideas for acrobatic tricks.Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat! I shot out the wings of another Camel and

the pilot stood up in his seat, turned towards me, openedhis mouth and paper-thin Antonio Torres came slithering out of him, spreadhimself out and came soaring towards us like a flying squirrel.

“Jorge Joestar! You gotta lotta nerve growing up before Idid!”

he shouted as he flew, and I broke up laughing. That was hisbig problem!? Behind me, Lisa Lisa said,

“OK, this is my job.”

She stood up, and her skirt instantly turned inside out. AsI gaped at her beautiful legs, she said,

“Jorge, when this war’s over, let’s get married.”

“Eh? OK. …..hunh?”

“Come on, Antonio Torres! You remember me, right?”

Flying Squirrel Antonio yelped.

“Lisa Lisa!? Seriously? Balsa Blanca really is a patheticlimp-dicked motherfucker!”

It had been a while since I’d heard him sing that song andit rattled me a bit, but I yelled back,

“Says the undead flat dick! I knew you were always a hollowson of a bitch but I guess you wanna blame that shit on your psycho mom, hunh?”

“What the fuck!?”

Apparently mentioning his mom really ticked him off and hebared his fangs and jumped at me but I couldn’t dodge. Just before his teethsank into my neck Lisa Lisa’s thin arm reached down at grabbed a handful ofAntonio’s neck.

“Unh…leggo of me, ugly!”

Antonio really hadn’t changed at all. He was just like he’dbeen when we were kids, and that was both dumb and kinda unnerving. Lisa Lisasaid curtly,

“I have no words to waste on you.”

“What? You…”

Antonio began, but cracks began spreading out from whereLisa Lisa was holding him, and his body turned to dust, scattered away on thewinds. Lisa Lisa dusted her hands off, and sat back down.

“Five more. You have enough bullets?”

“Yeah.”

I had enough for fifty. Bang bang bang! Boom. Rat-tat-tat!Rat-tat-tat! Ka-boom. My bullets hit the zombie planes, destroying their wingsor

engines.

“The Germans are way better!”

I shouted, but of course they were. The enemy pilots wereenemies, but they were also pilots, and I had respect for their skills. But Ifelt no such thing for these zombies. I was just pissed that they were flyingaround in the English Air Force’s valuable equipment. Shit! Shit! Shit! FuckingAntonio Torres! Forcing me to shoot down English planes!

Steven shot down two as well. I hadn’t been counting, butLisa Lisa said I’d shot down twenty-three. Shooting down that many in a singledogfight would normally make me a Flying Ace. Sadly, since I was fightingzombies instead of real pilots my claim was invalid. It wasn’t even worthbragging about. All I could think about was what a waste of planes it was…The Hamon Warriors were checking the wreckage, running Hamon through thepilot’s bodies just in case, killing the Antonios. That was too easy, Ithought. They’d spent years slowly learning how to fly a plane, then attackedthe English Air Force and stole their pilots and planes, and that was the bestthey could muster? The only damage to the Hamon Warriors had been in theinitial bombing, and since their base had been underground the damage frombombs on the ground had been limited. Antonio Torres must have known how good apilot I was, so he should have known things would turn out this way. He was acrafty bastard, after all. So what was the point of this battle? Either adiversion or an attempt to delay me. Either way, the assumed intent of theattack – wiping out the Hamon Warriors – was not the real goal. So what was?Antonio’s own words echoed in my ears. Hey, Jorge Joestar…I’m afraid you’regonna die here. And after you’re dead, I’m gonna kill your family, too. Theirdeaths will be even worse than yours. That piece of shit had promised to killmy family.

“Lisa Lisa.”

“Mm?”

“I need a phone.”

I called my mother. Star Mark Tradings, the company she rannear the London Harbor. I wasn’t panicking yet, but she’d seen them coming.

“A lot of planes just flew in off the sea.”

Calm down.

“Mum, get Penelope, leave London, and get to the house inWestwood. Now.”

“Whatever for, Jorge? What’s going on? All those planes wereEnglish. Everyone’s getting ready to celebrate the return of the triumphantheroes.”

“Triumphant?”

“The planes are all in a state. They’ve got bullet holes inthem, or wings that clearly broke and were patched together again.”

Planes filled with the war dead. I looked out the window. Itwas still light out, but in England…?

“Is the sun out?”

“It’s not raining, but it’s very cloudy.”

“Mum.”

“I understand. I’ll go back to the Joestar mansion, and hidein the basement with Penelope and Jonathan. Where are you?”

“France. But I’m with Lisa Lisa.”

“Oh. Then you’re safe.”

“But the Hamon Warriors can’t fly planes, and what’s flyinginto London are dead pilots.”

But they don’t have Antonio inside them. If the sun wasn’tout, they wouldn’t need to let Antonio fly. If the dead pilots were still asgood as they’d been alive, this time we might be in for a real fight.

“I’m gonna have to fight.”

“…oh. Your father fought his own battle. And he won. I amsure you will emerge victorious, too.”

“Thank you. I’ll get there as fast as I can. Hurry, Mum.”

“Yes. Don’t worry about us. I’m leaving now. I love you,Jorge.”

“I love you, too, Mum.”

I hung up, then had an idea, and dialed another number.

“Whaaat? Jorge Joestar! If you’re calling, you must not bepart of that huge squad in the sky, hunh? What’s up with that, some sort of airshow? Did England win some big victory I didn’t hear about?”

The excited man who answered was John Moore-Brabazon. He’dquit flying planes five years ago after Charles Rolls’ accident, but he wasstill working as an engineer in the city.

“Promise to believe what I tell you, John?”

I said.

“Hunh? Ha ha. What? Of course, don’t be stupid.”

“Those guys flying in aren’t us. They’re enemies. They’renot even human. They’re all dead. They’ve returned from Hell to make the livinglike them.”

“………!? Uh….Jorge, what the…?”

“Look at those planes closely, John. Recognize any of them? Thoseplanes belong to dead men. They shouldn’t be in the air.”

“Dead men? Hunh? What the…That’s Rupert Stiller’s Mary.And David Seymour’s Emma!”

Both of them were former Royal Aero Club members lost incombat; Mary and Emma were both Henry Farman IIIs, planes made in France. Johnfound former friend after former friend in the sky; he’d been flying from thevery start, so he knew a lot of fallen pilots.

“Augh…Joe Dearlove’s up there too,”

he said. I could hear him crying. I kept my voice calm.

“They’re all dead. But something evil has dragged our deadfriends out from someplace very dark. John. They’re going to kill Englishmen,and eat them.”

“…eat!? What do you mean?”

“I mean that literally. They eat living humans.”

“They’d never do that…!”

“They aren’t the friends you knew. Your dead friends arestill dead. They haven’t come back to life. Their bodies have just stepped outof their graves, and into those planes.”

“AHHH!”

I heard an explosion on the other end of the line. It wasstarting.

“What the fuck!? English planes are attacking London!”

“John, calm down and listen. You and anyone else alive outthere have to fight them. I’ll be there as soon as I can. You hear me?”

“What the fuck!? God damn it! Stop!”

John yelled. He’d put the receiver down. So I yelled downthe line,

“John Moore-Brazabon! Listen! This is in your hands! Get asmany men together as you can, get them in their planes, and start fightingback! Don’t fuck around! Just do it! They’re already dead, and won’t die if youjust kill them normally! You gotta annihilate them!”

This was a horrible thing to say. But I had to put it likethat.

“Auuggghhhhh, Jorge! Is this really happening!?”

“John! I’m flying there as soon as I hang up! You fight, andyou live through this, OK?”

There was another explosion, and the line went dead in themiddle. I put the phone down, turned around, and found the Hamon Warriorslistening, dressed for war.

“The main force is attacking England,”

I said.

“They’re flying planes that were shot down, the pilotskilled. They’re English planes, so they faced no resistance until they startedthe attack. They’re already over London, and it sounds like they just startedfiring. By the time we get their, their invasion will be well underway. Contactany Hamon Warriors in England. If any of them have contacts in the Englisharmy, direct them to fight back. There’ll be plenty of zombies shot down whosurvived, so we’ll need men on the ground as well. Tell anyone you know to runand hide. I’m heading off to fight. I’ll knock as many zombies as I can out ofthe sky. Please save any survivors.”

We all ran. When Lisa Lisa tried to jump on the Motorizingafter me, I said,

“Lisa Lisa, it’ll be dangerous.”

She ignored me. She

was still wearing a skirt, so I said,

“Sure you don’t want to put some trousers on?”

She just laughed.

“Don’t worry, I’ve been a girl a while, I’ve figured out howto keep the contents of my skirt hidden.”

That wasn’t what I was driving at, but this was Lisa Lisa.If Lisa Lisa said she’d be fine, she’d be fine.

“Oh, but I’ll take this,”

she said, stealing my aviator hat.

“Oh, you can keep these,”

she said, handing the goggles back. …fine. Steven wasclimbing into the plane next to us. Honestly, that last fight had just provedhow little combat experience he had, but I didn’t stop him. Once again, Stevenand I sped out of the cave for the ocean and the sky. We took a quick lookglance at the condition of the surface after the bombing, and then headed Westacross the North Sea. The attack had been intense, but like I thought,relatively few casualties. It was an hour’s flight from here to London. How badwould the zombie invasion be before we got there? The dead were mostly flyingplanes lost in the war, but how well armed were they? If they only had the ammothey’d been shot down with, then probably not that much, but Antonio Torreswasn’t likely to half-ass something like that. He’d already taken over theEnglish Naval Air Force headquarters, so he’d most likely stolen all the bombsand bullets he needed. This was gonna be brutal.

“Hey, Jorge,”

Lisa Lisa said.

“I got a favor to ask.”

“What?”

“Can you give me a quick run down on how to fly aplane?”

By the time we were almost across the North Sea Lisa Lisawas flying my Motorizing.

“Hmm…and other planes more or less work the same?”

“Yeah. What you need to control them is always the same, andbasically they all have a long body with wings and propellers in front.”

“Got it,”

she said, looking over the instrument panel in a

way that made me worried.

“What are you planning?”

“Last time I just sat behind you and couldn’t do anything,right? So this time I thought I’d go for broke.”

I got even more worried.

“Go for broke how?”

“Whatever occurs to me in the moment. Oh, right,”

she said, and turned the stick to the side, placing us infront of Steven.

“Jorge, take over.”

“Eh?”

Lisa Lisa stood up, I scrambled into the cockpit next to herand grabbed the flight stick, and she moved, but not into the back seat – shejumped out into thin air.

“Augh! Lisa Lisa!”

She jumped with so little wind up I thought it wasaccidental, but she’d tied to loose end of the thread in her scarf to thecontrol stick. The thread was unraveling quickly, and stretched from my planeto the air above Steven’s. Lisa Lisa let go of the thread and landed right behindSteven. Steven looked every bit as flabbergasted as I was. I quickly shifted myplane so I was flying next to him, and heard her shouting something at Steven.

“…don’t worry!”

she said, and then put her hands on his shoulders, brushedthem gently down his back to his shoulder blades, gave him a push and thenpulled back from him and Steven’s wings came out in her palms. Steven lookedsurprised by this, but did not appear to be in pain. Once the big white wingswere both fully emerged from his back, Lisa Lisa said something to Steven,tapped him on his shoulder, stood up, and glanced over at me with a smile. Ithink she said something too, but it was lost in the roar of the engines andpropellers…but then Lisa Lisa jumped out of the cockpit, ran across the topof the Motorize past Steven and onto the wing. The wind force had her leaningdamn near 90 degrees and her skirt was going crazy, but she ran all the waydown the wing and then jumped off and landed on my wing, skirt still flappinglike crazy, and then ran up my wing back to me.

“I’m back!”

she said, and flopped down behind me. 507 When I didn’t sayanything, Lisa Lisa explained,

“I figured Steven should have his wings out! I hear that canhurt a lot, so I

scattered the pain with Hamon and got them out for him.”

Heh…I see. This time I thought I’d go for broke. Ah ha ha.Lisa Lisa’s definition of going for broke was clearly beyond the capacity of myimagination. This gave me courage.

“Jorge, I can see it!”

Lisa Lisa cried, pointing far across the sky, were thickclouds covered the ground. The lower end of the clouds had a dull orange glow.They were lit by fire. London was burning.

“Let’s do this, Lisa Lisa!”

“Yeah!”

I glanced over at Steven, and he nodded back. I lookedforward again, and I could just make out the silhouettes of the fighter planesin the air ahead. The closer we got the most horrifying the scene became. Therewere nearly three hundred airplanes in the sky above London, all lined up andcircling the town. As if drawing a massive magic circle in the air above thecity.

“I’ve never seen a battle like this,”

I muttered. Of course not. We were fighting the dead. Theirtactics and strategies would bear no resemblance to those of the living.

“I’m gonna do what I do, you just fight how you need,”

Lisa Lisa said, putting her hands on my shoulders andstanding up.

“And like I said before, my skirt’ll be fine, don’t worry.”

I looked up and saw her grinning.

“Don’t you dare die, Lisa Lisa,”

I said. She was gonna be my wife. She met my gaze.

“I won’t die. Don’t you dare die, either. We’ll win here, gohome, and get married.”

“I’ll hold you to that promise.”

“Heh heh. Just hold up your end.”

“I will!”

Vrroooooom! As we drew closer, some of the zombie pilots sawus, and began shouting. Their formation splintered, and ten planes turnedtowards us, but we shot past without engaging. Just the two of us against thismassive force. The most chaos we caused the better. Bam bam bam bam!Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba! Bang bang bang bang! We dodged fire from multiple machineguns and slammed into the center of the magic circle, and several pilots wereso

surprised by us cutting across their formation theyaccidentally turned into the plane next to them, crashing into each other. Atleast five or six planes exploded and went down all at once. For patched upwrecks these planes were flying well; they must have zombie engineers to goalong with the zombie pilots. I let out a roar and the zombies responded withtheir own guttural shrieks, echoing across the sky.

“Here I go!”

Lisa Lisa said, and began running up the front of theMotorizing. She put one foot on the wing and jumped just as an enemy plane cameby. She grabbed its wheels with one hand and was whisked away from me. She musthave run Hamon through the plane; the zombie pilot howled and his body meltedaway. I circled for a moment, keeping an eye on her, but she scrambled up theside of the plane and slid into the pilot seat, and without even a glance in mydirection began firing the plane’s guns. Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba! Boom! Boom! Boom! Herfirst volley took out three planes and I couldn’t help but laugh out loud.

“Ah ha ha! Amazing!”

I said, but I didn’t have time to gawk. Lisa Lisa wasclearly doing fine, so fine I’d have to kick things up a notch or I’d wind upas baggage. I couldn’t jump from plane to plane like she did so I’d have tofight with the bullets I had. In other words, I had to aim carefully. So Iforced myself to remain calm, move the stick rhythmically, concentrate.Rat-tat-tat! Boom! Rat-tat-tat! Blaaam! No matter where I aimed there wereenemy planes, so at first every bullet I shot sent a zombie spiraling down, butthis time the zombie’s rotting bodies had been in combat before, and theyquickly adapted to my assault. I was sure I’d known the guy who turned to fightme. A Frenchman named Vincent Lecoeur. A Nieuport 17 with a picture of a dogpainted on its belly. That was his, alright. The Nieuport had a max speed of177 kph and he’d made the thing go 200, and even dead his thirst for speed wasunabated and he shot past my plane like a bolt of lightning. But I didn’t chasehim. I pressed on towards the center of the magic circle. Rat-tat-tat!Rat-tat-tat-tat! Each and every time a grossly discolored fleshbag crossed mysights I shot

them and the metal box they sat in down. The planes broke upand the zombies popped out and as they passed me every one of them was leakingall over and grinning, eyes rolling the wrong way; out of the cockpit they wereall just corpses that hadn’t died. Shit, I thought. At least try and fight backbefore you die again! But a group of zombies had seen me and formed a squad andwere starting to chase me around so I also thought maybe don’t try so hard,guys, you’re dead. I knew I shouldn’t be feeling sympathy for zombies justbecause they’d been pilots once. I shook off a four finger formation with aseries of loops and Aileron rolls, and shot the zombie planes down.Rat-tat-tat-tat! Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat! I did not escape unscathed. A storm ofbullets from a fleet of Sopwith Camels hit the belly of my Motorizing.

“Fuck!”

I shot the Camels down from above but Vincent Lecoeur’sNieuport 17 came at me again and hit my wing dead on. Rat-tat-tat-tat! Directhit. Crack! Crack craaaack crack… my wing split down the middle but as it didthe other Motorizing slipped in under me. Steven! He waved for me to jump down,but uh, really? But if I stayed where I was the plane would fall apart aroundme. Jumping into Steven’s plane was totally impossible but I flung myself outof the cockpit and put myself at the mercy of the winds.

“Aughhhhhhhh!”

As I did the wing came off completely and the Motorizingshot upwards and away, breaking apart. Steven’s Motorizing came up under me,gently catching me in the rear seat.

“God daaaaaamn!”

I yelled, clutching the seat for dear life. I reachedbetween his great white wings and slapped Steven on the back.

“Thank you, Steven!”

“Ha ha! Glad that worked. You’re really something, man, itsall I can do to run.”

“Heh heh, but you’ve done all right at that!”

“Yeah, but I gotta fight a little, here! You take the plane.”

“Hunh?”

“Look at her!”

Steven was, of course, pointing at Lisa Lisa. She wasbounding from plane to plane, frying the zombie pilot, then pulling the triggeras long as there were bullets left, enemy

planes going down boom boom boom and the moment she wasempty she’d fling herself at the next plane over. Boing hisssss bam bam bam bamka-boom. She was a fucking war god.

“I want the freedom to fight like that,”

Steven said. He spread his wings, and was off into the sky.Ahh! I turned around just in time to see him swoop in on the Nieuport 17 on mytail, yank zombie Vincent Lecoeur out of the cockpit, and drop him into thinair. Then Steven occupied the emptied cockpit, pulled up hard, and sprayed hismachine guns, shooting several other enemy planes down. Boom Boom boom. Crap,he was doing so well I forgot to stop watching. This was a battlefield! I putmy game face back on. Watching Lisa Lisa and Steven fight was like watchingballet. I wrapped my hand around the stick on my second Motorizing of the day,and shouted,

“Here I come!”

Rat-tat-at-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat! Boom boom boom boomboom boom boom!

The three of us moved as we pleased through the skies overLondon, decimating the enemy forces. Dogfight techniques were growing by leapsand bounds every day this war lasted, so there were tons of moves pilots whodied didn’t get a chance to learn, and it was great fun using all of thoseagainst them but even if they were dead they were still good pilots and bulletsdid hit my plane and Steven and Lisa Lisa had to help me change planes anotherfour times. Any time I was in trouble, one of the two would be there instantly;I was totally saved by them, but oh well! The last plane I had was a FokkerE.III. One of the few German planes in the fight; I’d shot the German zombie inthe head with a pistol, thrown his freshly dead again corpse out, and then goneback to fighting a Camel that had been on my ass for a while. The Camel’s pilotwas Jim Graham. Judging by the way he was flying, Antonio Torres wasn’t inside;he was still hollowed out. Steven, flying next to me, asked,

“Need a hand?”

I shook my head.

“Nah. I got this. I think,”

I said, but twenty

seconds earlier he’d shot down another Camel I’d beenflying. Damn it, Jim, you’re a way better pilot now that you’re a zombie. Doesbeing hollowed out make it easier for you to move? I grabbed the Fokker’s stickand yelled,

“Let’s try this again, Jim!”

Jim’s Camel had been wheeling around, as if waiting for meto get ready, but now he came hurtling towards me. I rolled to avoid thebullets, and pulled the trigger, the bullets on the Fokker’s machine guns timedto fire through the propellers without hitting them. Click. Click. Um. What?They’d jammed? Shit. I looked front and Jim was grinning at me even though hewas a zombie and I got mad so as we passed each other I waggled my wings andhit Jim in the head with the Fokker’s wingtip, decapitating him. Splat! Noblood came out of his neck stump. There was a huge hole in the cross-section,proving he’d been emptied out. There wasn’t a single Antonio Torres anywhere inthe skies over London. He must be somewhere else entirely, doing something elseevil. I looked around and found the skies were quiet. Lisa Lisa had blown the lastzombie away and brought its plane in diagonally above my Fokker. Then shehopped out of the cockpit.

“Jorge!”

“Yikes!”

I let go of the stick, held up my arms, and caught her inmid air. She was doing a very good job keeping that skirt from showing too much,I thought. She gave me a big hug, and said,

“That was incredible! Jorge, you really have become strong!Look! The three of us saved the skies of London!”

I looked around. The clouds still glowed orange, but therewere no more zombies flying. I could hear cheering. From the burning streets ofLondon. I looked down, and the zombies we’d shot down were being chased aroundby crowds of people. The Hamon Warriors had arrived on the ground, and wereturning zombie after zombie into ash and smoke.

“Looks like they’re done over there, too,”

Lisa Lisa said. I turned to look, and ten English planeswere approaching from the North, flashing their lights in Morse Code to provethey weren’t more zombies. Lisa Lisa could read Morse Code, and she translatedfor me.

“’Good job taking back London. Thanks!’“

When I saw who sent that signal, I almost wept. It was JohnMoore-Brazabon.

“’Sorry we’re late. We decided to control the perimeter andkeep them trapped in London.’ Hmph. Jorge, should I say they gave up tooeasily?”

“Uh…ah ha ha, no, don’t!”

“Pfft.”

As we passed each other, John and I grinned and held ourthumbs up, but when he saw Lisa Lisa sitting on my knees John looked surprised,then mimed a whistle. Then Steven came out from the Fokker’s shadow, wingsstretched out behind him, and John’s eyes nearly popped out of his head.

“Seems about right,”

Steven said, laughing.

“That was John Moore-Brazabon,”

I said.

“He’s connected politically, might be able to parlay youhelping save London into a pardon.”

Steven shot me a look.

“I knew you were innocent, but couldn’t do a thing to saveyou. And you make an offer like that back? You’re too good for this world.”

I really didn’t care about that.

“We’re war buddies now.”

We both reached out our hands, and I shook Steven’s hand waswe rode the wind.

“Thanks, Jorge. Thanks for saving England. Thanks for savingthe world.”

Tears started welling up in Steven’s eyes, and I thought hewas overstating things but we did win and maybe we had saved England and maybewe had saved the world.

“The three of us did it together,”

I said.

“Thank you, Steven. And thank you, Lisa Lisa.”

Her arm still around me, Lisa Lisa closed her eyes, smiled,and said not a word. Oh, I thought. This was what she did every

day.

Save the world.

Hamon Warriors were sent to every corner of England, andreports came back that no further signs of zombie invasion had been found. Butwe knew a few thousand, possibly even tens of thousands of Antonio Torres werestill hiding somewhere, so the Hamon Warriors kept digging, and instituted anational health exam to make sure there were none hiding inside ordinarycitizens. Steven went back to the Motorize Manor, Lisa Lisa went back to theHamon Warriors, and I went on with the war, and lost a lot of friends, butsomehow boring dicks like William Cardinal stayed alive. Cardinal survived theattack on the Naval Air Force Base by Antonio Torres with nothing worse than abroken leg, and then told everyone he’d ordered me to the fight in London andwas treated like even more of a hero that I was, got himself promoted, and bythe time the war ended and the Army and Naval Air Forces had been merged intothe English Air Force, he was the supreme commander, never had to go to anydangerous fronts, and got to sit in his damn wheelchair acting like a big shot,but whatever, the war was finally wrapping up. The only good thing about warswas that they ended.

So with the war over, I went back to Westwood and theJoestar Mansion, and wondered what to do with myself. Flying fighter planes hadbeen a great job but I’d quite like to get married and have some kids so maybea less potentially fatal job would be good, like a pilot on a merchant plane.Maybe take it easy flying passengers around. But John Moore-Brazabon asked meto get involved in politics and since we’d had a lot of fun doing cars andplanes together I could totally see the appeal of doing something new, but I’dbeen with John a while now and I thought that, as a

man, it was high time I did something on my own so I kindawanted to try something else, too. I thought about things for a while and man,Lisa Lisa was sure taking her time coming. Hunh. What was going on there? Ifigured she was busy, but Lisa Lisa was never not busy so that hardly presenteda problem. Had she changed her mind? That thought made it feel like somethingwas squeezing all the air out of my heart so I got real serious about it realfast. What had I done? Ever since the Attempted Zombie Invasion of London I’djust continued on with the war against humans, but…thinking about it, Iremembered the stories my war buddies had told.

“I was just”

excuses never seemed to work with girlfriends and wives.Lots of times the thing they were ‘just’ doing was what caused the strife inthe first place, and since they didn’t do much of anything besides what theywere ‘just’ doing, and it was often the case that their girls wanted them doingsomething else. It was hard for me to believe that Lisa Lisa disapproved of megoing to war and flying planes in it. So the latter situation was more likelyto apply here. All I’d done was the war, so I’d almost certainly failed to dosomething Lisa Lisa wanted me to do. Mm, if Lisa Lisa has been expectingsomething from me, I was absolutely confident I had failed to live up to thatexpectation. I’d seriously done nothing else but the war, and we hadn’t evenseen each other in three whole years. I hadn’t called her at all, or evenwritten her a letter. But I mean, we’d always been that way, right? After LisaLisa joined the Hamon warriors and went off with Straits, I’d only seen her thenight lots of people died in the church on La Palma, in the darkness of theunderground shrine in Rome, in jail, and the day we exterminated all thezombies in London. Man. That wasn’t nearly enough. Had we really only beentogether two weeks in the last seventeen years? Our time in jail wascomparatively long, but otherwise we’d only met four times. Four? Eh? Really? Ifelt like we’d met and talked and been

together a lot more than that but we really hadn’t. It waslike we just coincidentally bumped into each other during some crisis or other.Wait, I realized…that’s what it was like when we were kids. We only met whenI was in trouble. Like I only needed Lisa Lisa when my back was to thewall…and not just that, Lisa Lisa also only met me when she in a tight spot.Was that enough for both of us, then? But I was old enough to know better now.Couples, married or not, did not last long if they only met when absolutelynecessary. It was vital they be together on ordinary days, and spend timetogether doing nothing in particular; that was what cemented their bonds. Oh,shit, I thought. This was bad. We needed a relationship revolution! With thatwind in my sails I decided to go see Lisa Lisa. According to mum, she was inSwitzerland. Switzerland? Nice. Nobody looked better backed by snow coveredmountains than I did. All fired up I dashed off to Switzerland, grabbed LisaLisa, and yelled:

“Damn it, Lisa Lisa, if you don’t love me why’d you sayyou wanted to marry me!?”

….uh. Hunh!? I had no idea why I’d said it like that. Itwas a total sulky whine, made me sound as dumb as I was, like a toddler. I’dplanned on being very mature, and expressing my desire to date properly, toface our feelings, to strengthen our relationship over time, to take things toanother level. And yet… I stood their flapping my lips and uttering strangegasps, unable to say anything else at all, much less correct course. Lisa Lisastared at me for a moment, then burst out laughing. To my great relief. LisaLisa was just as she always was, and seeing that bright smile of hers was all Ineeded to know I’d been been trapped in a mental cage of my own devising.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Jorge,”

Lisa Lisa said, exactly as I’d

secretly hoped she would.

“Why would you ever think I didn’t love you? Of course Ilove you. Can you not tell without seeing me? I’d think you should know thatmuch even when we’re apart. Loving you is a foundation of my personality! Youknow me better than anyone, so I think you know that much, too.”

I did. But I got scared anyway. Then Lisa Lisa said,

“Sorry, I’m sure this is because the war ended but all I’mdoing is Hamon warrior work.”

Yeah, well, exactly, yes.

“I really am sorry,”

she went on.

“I genuinely wanted to go running straight to you, Jorge.I’ve been waiting and waiting and waaaaiting for the war to end! Heh heh,sorry, I sound like a little girl, don’t I? I’m almost thirty! I act more grownup with everyone else, but when I’m with you, Jorge, I feel like we’re kidsagain, and that shows in how I act.”

I mean, she didn’t even look twenty yet, and to my eyes shebasically hadn’t changed at all since I was ten. But when I hastily tried totell her this she said,

“But I was just so scared. I mean, Master Tom Petty went andsaid something ridiculous about you dying around the time we get married.”

Uh, what?

He can use Hamon to predict what will happen in the

future.

This old bald dude was how she’d been able to find mestranded in the North Sea. Ngapoi Ngawang Tom Petty. Lisa Lisa had startedcrying, so I said,

“I’m not going to die, Lisa Lisa. I promise I won’t. Youremember my dad, right? Joestar men don’t die and leave their wives or lovers.I won’t wind up as just a head, though; me and all parts of me will stay withyou.”

Lisa Lisa flung herself into my arms, nestled her head in mychest, and kept on crying so I got mad. Where was that bald son of a bitch? Iwas ready to kill him for spouting crap and making Lisa

Lisa feel like this…was there any way to prevent hisprophecy from coming true?

Seeing red, I dragged a reluctant Lisa Lisa around lookingfor Tom Petty, and found him. Face to face, his intimidating aura instantlykilled my rage, and I asked with a smile,

“Sorry, about this prophecy that I’ll die…”

Tom Petty adjusted the layers of Eastern gowns he wore.

“You’ll die. What? You thought you wouldn’t?”

………..

“Not natural causes, right? I heard some nonsense about medying right after Lisa Lisa and I get married.”

“I speak neither lies nor nonsense.”

“That’s right,”

Lisa Lisa said, wiping her tears.

“Tom Petty would never do that.”

C’mon Lisa Lisa, don’t you want to fight this thing, too?But I guess saying as much wouldn’t do much to fate or destiny, and Lisa Lisaknew full well (and I kinda knew, too) that those things could absolutely beforetold by someone properly prophetic. So I guess we had to accept it. Butjust as my emotions were starting to settle down, Tom Petty looked puzzled, andsaid,

“But maybe you won’t die. Mm? No, you won’t. I dunno. Up toyou.”

Hunh? We both looked up, surprised.

“You have, um…”

Tom Petty said.

“A god of sorts – not the God, mind you, but a god – lookingout for you.”

This again. A god that chose an individual on a whim.

Beyond.

For the first time in god knows how long, I remembered the

words my friend Tsukumojuku had said. And I have a name forthis thing guiding me from somewhere not of this world. I call it: Beyond.

“It seems you’re aware of the concept,”

Tom Petty said.

“Up to you whether to believe in it or not, Jorge Joestar.If you believe in it, you won’t die. If you can’t put your faith in it, thenyou will be brutally murdered by something terrifying, as fated.”

“I believe,”

I blurted. Tsukumojuku had said, With Beyond at your side,your adventure will be without compare. Tom Petty’s steely eyes softened in asmile.

“Then I guess you won’t die.”

Uh…was it that easy? Lisa Lisa looked pretty stunned bythis, too.

“That god may not have made up its mind, either. But if youwish to go on living, you must follow that god.”

Well, then, no help for it, I now believed in Beyond. But Iwasn’t exactly sure how to do this, so I just thought, thanks in advance! Anddidn’t really do anything else about it.

Then Lisa Lisa and I left Switzerland, went back home,announced our engagement, and started planning the wedding. This church, then aparty in the garden at the Joestar mansion, so we’d need drinks and food, andwhat kind of music should the band play, anyway? Lisa Lisa and mom and Penelopewent on and on and on and on about that sort of thing. I was relieved to seePenelope enjoying herself; she’d been at odds with Lisa Lisa before. Penelopepicked up on my relief and explained,

“But Lisa Lisa’s amazing! I could never measure up. I’m gladit’s Lisa Lisa, really. If it was anyone else I’d be jealous, but with LisaLisa I just can’t bring myself to feel that way!”

I remembered Darlington saying much the same thing. No, Ithink the truth is, very few girls can live up to someone so

beautiful and…and amazing. I agreed, Lisa Lisa wasbeautiful and amazing and I was still laughing about it when I got herpregnant. Crap. But mom and Penelope were explosively happy. They both let outlong, shrill shrieks of joy when they heard. Lisa Lisa was super embarrassedbut also really happy, so I was relieved, but I wondered what Straits wouldthink.

“I don’t think he’d think anything of it,”

Lisa Lisa said.

“And it’s really early still, so let’s wait a bit, and lethim know when things have settled down a bit.”

Then Lisa Lisa and mom and Penelope redid their whole plan.They considered trying to do it before she showed, but that was deemed toofast, so they decided to have it after the baby was born, and in the end ourwedding was moved to the next year. With the child being born first, everyonetreated Lisa Lisa like an absolute queen. Old man Speedwagon sent presents atan shocking rate, one of everything for boys and girls. I let out my first everhappy scream.

“Please, calm down!”

I begged, unable to wipe the grin off my face.

“I’ll do as I damn well please!”

Speedwagon said, standing his ground. Ah ha ha. Then thebaby was born. A boy. We named him Joseph Joestar. That way he’d be a Jojo,too. He inherited Lisa Lisa’s talents, and even as a baby he defaulted to Hamonbreathing, and whenever I tried to change his diaper or hold him I’d wind uphopping around going bzzzzt bzzzt, stunned. When Joseph cried in my armselectric shocks ran from the top of my head down my left hip and I nearlypassed out, but I held fast and acted like nothing was wrong. Of course thiswas just me and it proved no problem for Lisa Lisa, so Lisa Lisa gave me ascarf made from the same stuff as hers. The Smrtipologian Beetle’s thread. Itblocked the Hamon and scattered it harmlessly, and now I could wrap Joseph init to change his diaper, hold him, or take him in the bath…except the waterconducted Hamon well, so the beetles

weren’t helpful there. Anyway, we set the wedding date lateenough that Joseph would be able to hold his head up. Everything was preparedproperly, and the only thing left to worry about was the weather. On themorning of November 11th, I was all decked out in my air force full-dressuniform when John Moore-Brabazon came in, grinning ear to ear in his tuxedo.

“So this best man of yours isn’t here yet?”

he asked. Hunh? Who, Steven Motorize?

“Heh heh heh, he overdo it a bit at the bachelor party lastnight? Tch. Whatever, don’t worry about it, I’ll be happy to be the best man inhis place.”

For some reason John was campaigning to be my best man, andfrankly it had not been an easy choice on my part, but I simply couldn’t pickanyone but my first friend in England, my neighbor, and the man who’d saved mylife. So, to avoid upsetting my bride, I elected to sneak off to the Motorizehome to check things out. I let Penelope, the maid of honor, know what was up.

“Whaaat? Can’t anyone else do it?”

she said, but the Motorize family and I had a history, andsince Ben Motorize had reclused himself William Cardinal had taken over the familyaffairs so I could see this being a bit of a problem. John was, in fact,constantly at odds with William Cardinal, an arrogant man who tended to abusehis power. It would just be faster if I went myself. The Joestar mansion gardenhad been transformed into a wedding venue, and as I ducked through it I saw mumholding Joseph. I was pretty sure she saw me but I ignored that, hopped in mycar, and headed for the Motorize manor. Steven and Cardinal didn’t exactly getalong, either, and there was a strong possibility Cardinal had forced Steven todo something just to get at me, again. I reached the Motorize Manor, and sawSteven’s car still there. Guess he made it home from the party last night justfine. Well, he’d been sipping his drinks quietly while my army buddies yuckedit up, and hadn’t seemed all that drunk when he’d said his goodbyes, so I’dfigured he got home all

right.

I got out of the car, and headed for the door, regrettingthe fact that I was still dressed for the ceremony in my full-dress uniform.That smug bastard could be absolutely intolerable with anyone he consideredbeneath him, and might well pretend his hand slipped and spill tea or coffee onmy uniform. Well, if he did that to me today, I’d…maybe not say anything butLisa Lisa sure as hell would. I rang the doorbell. Normally Faraday would,without ever running, answer the door in mere moments, but today there was nosign of him. I tried knocking. Still no answer, so I tried the knob, and thedoor wasn’t locked. I opened the door, and took a step in.

“Hello? Good morning!”

I called, but there was still no reply. Weird, were theyout? I didn’t find that thought convincing, largely because I could sensesomeone in the house. Someone? That seemed like the wrong word. What was it?This awful feeling that had swept through me?

“Steven? Hey, Steven Motorize! It’s Jorge!”

Should I go to Steven’s room upstairs? But when I set footon the staircase, I froze in my tracks. The carpet was seeped in blood. Thiswas bad. And the blood wasn’t dry at all…in fact, there was steam rising offit so it was very fresh indeed. There was a thud from somewhere deeper in themanor, and something that sounded like a groan. This wasn’t over yet. It wasstill happening, right now. …damn it. I grabbed the poker from the fireplaceat the back of the entrance lobby, and took a firm grip on it with both hands.The sound had come from upstairs. To the right from the top of the staircase.Darlington’s bedroom was most likely on the right. Steven’s was on the left, but…wouldhe have a gun hidden in his room? I didn’t know. Fuck it. I ran up the stairs.I put my back to the wall, and peeked down the hallway to the right. At theback of the hall stood a girl, in pajamas, her head down. Covered in blood.

“Darlington!”

I said, and stepped out in the hall, but was thatDarlington? She was taller and skinnier than Darlington, and her hair hungstraight down, no sign of Darlington’s meticulous little curls. But Irecognized that hair, and her figure. The blood-stained girl raised her headwhen I stepped out into the hall. It was Kenton Motorize. As she’d been whenshe died fifteen years ago. I stopped in my tracks, stunned, and Kenton said,

“Blaargh.”

She was a zombie…no, perhaps she had been for quite sometime now. While you were studying planes, Steven and my father have beenstudying ways to bring back the dead. And they found a place in South Americathat had stories about it, and found some sort of proof that some ritual hadactually given life to the dead. Darlington had told me that, but Steven hadworked with Lisa Lisa and the Hamon warriors, so there was no way he’d ever letKenton be turned into a zombie. He’d abandoned the idea the first them heencountered real zombies. Steven himself had said I knew it would be anunforgivable sin to make Kenton into one of those horrible things.

“Uh, Kenton…? How…?”

“Duhhh blaghhh blaghh ffaahh!”

There was no meaning in her utterances, no trace of Kenton’smind left. Mouth hanging open, the zombie flung itself at me and I jammed thepoker in its face with out a second’s thought. Sorry! Goodbye, old friend. Thegirl who’d taught me about planes. I wanted to be like you; I wanted to flylike you did.

“Dunh!”

the zombie yelped. The poker came out the back of thezombies head, and it stopped moving. She was dead again. This wasn’t Kenton, Itold myself, again. And again. I let her frail body slump to the floor. Behindme,

“Oh…what the…Jorge Joestar?”

said William Cardinal, seated in a wheelchair. A gun pointedat me.

This was his fault. Steven would never make Kenton a zombie.But why would William Cardinal have done it? Simple. Because he was an idiot.Not an ignorant kind of idiot, but the kind that should know better. He’d beenattacked by zombies and suffered as a result, but the kind of doubled downidiot that idiotically try to find a way to use zombies anyway.

“You thought you could use Kenton in war, Cardinal?”

“Ha ha ha! Any true soldier would think the same…!”

He was also the long-winded type of idiot, so I knew he’d beunable to resist launching into a monologue. So the second he started to boast,I yanked the poker out of Kenton’s head, swung it hard, and knocked the gun outof his hand. Crack! Schiiing…the gun hit the wall and slid away across thefloor. Cardinal looked surprised, and went silent.

“Good,”

I said.

“Not another word.”

“It didn’t hurt,”

he whispered.

“………….?”

Well, we both had our adrenaline up, I thought, my mindmostly trying to decide it the army or the police should be called to judge hisactions. Or should I do that, right here and now? Then I noticed there was noblood coming out of the cut on his hand, and stopped thinking at all.

“Hunh? A wound this bad should hurt, shouldn’t it? Joestar!”

Cardinal yelled. He hadn’t realized it yet. But he was one,too. A zombie. But he was going to work every day as the commander of the airforce…which necessitated working in the sunlight. So his exterior remainedhuman flesh. Which meant…at this point, my legs started quivering. I asked –in Spanish –

“Why do you hate me so much? What draws such loathing out ofyou?”

Antonio Torres’ muffled Spanish echoed from the back ofWilliam Cardinal’s throat.

“It’s how I get my kicks these days, balsa blanco. Heh hehheh. …is what I’d like to say, but that’s not it at all, nitwit! Who caresabout you? I’m just doing what my boss tells me to! Although it’s all the morefun when you happen to be involved!”

All the while there was this squelching crunching slurpingsound going on, and Cardinal’s skin was being pulled and twisted inward. He wasclearly being eaten as we spoke. And Antonio’s control over Cardinal’s body wasgrowing stronger. I started backing down the hallway. As I passed Kenton’sbody, the door to the room was open, and inside I saw half-eaten bits of Stevenand Ben and Darlington, but they weren’t lying still, but twitching andpulsing. They were getting ready to rise again as zombies. My friends…!

“Pfft, hahh…you’re a soldier, you know the boss’s ordersare absolute, right?”

Antonio said, belching.

“Today’s your last day, Jorge Joestar. All that’s left isfor you to die.”

Antonio pushed the chair’s wheels forward with both hands,still wearing Cardinal. I kept backing up, but soon ran out of hall to back upinto.

“I can’t afford to die,”

I said. I was getting married today. Not dying.

“You will die,”

Antonio said.

“It’s already decided. My boss said it was your destiny.”

“You keep going on about this boss…who is it? Anyone ashitbag like you would follow can’t be worth much.”

“How dare you insult the boss!”

Antonio roared.

“A fucking insect like you has no right!”

Heh, I grinned.

“Big talk considering how many of you I shot down in myplane. We aren’t kids any more, Antonio; I’m done putting up with your shit.You fucking midget. You think you can beat me just cause I’m not flying aplane?”

“…I do, asshole. No way I’m losing barehanded.”

Antonio tried to stand Cardinal up, but Cardinal had been inthat wheelchair so long he didn’t have the muscles left, and he just collapsedin a heap on the floor…and then slapped both hands down hard, flinginghimself bodily into the air, caught the light fixture, and dangled from it.Zombies sure were strong. Meanwhile I had a poker. Was that enough? Cardinal’sflesh looked pretty firm. How

deep would this poker really pierce? Hmm. I might be at abit of a disadvantage, here. But I had a bride waiting for me! The ribbons werein the way, so I tossed my uniform aside, took a firm grip on my poker, and gotready. Just facing up to Antonio Torres was enough to make tears well up. Mylegs were shaking. I was the one still dragging our childhoods around with me.Damn it!

“C’mon! Antonio Torres! You bullied me every damn day! Abouttime I got a turn!”

“Trying to sound tough?”

Antonio sniggered, swinging from the light fixture.

“Lisa Lisa’s not coming to save you. Just watch.”

Antonio jerked Cardinal’s chin, pointing at the window. Inthe sky outside was another Antonio Torres, gliding like a flying squirrel. Twoof them…three. No, even more. Close to the window I could tell. A flock offlying squirrel Antonios was coming in from the coast.

“You know how many there are?”

Antonio asked.

“One flat ass zombie’s as good as another.”

Antonio ignored this.

“About 920,000.”

920,000!? I gaped at him, but Antonio’d been dead for twentyyears, and if he’d been shedding to double his numbers every year, no matterhow many of him we’d killed in the war he’d end up with that many.

“We’ve got all of England surrounded now! Today’s the day!Our boss is taking over this entire country! Heh heh heh! Our boss promised meI could have Lisa Lisa. I’ll be inside her next! I can eat her slowly fromwithin. I’ll leave her brain for last, so she can savor having her blooddrained, her organs chewed, and her bones crunched. I can’t wait! Heh heh heh!”

Desperate to shut him up, I swing the poker wildly, but allit did was make Cardinal’s bald skull about half the size. He was already dead,so this failed to kill him again.

“No use!”

Antonio said.

“The boss said your death is set. Just accept it.”

“I’m not dying!”

I yelled, and swung the poker again.

Antonio caught it mid-swing, and shouted,

“It’s your fault Dar died!”

but in Cardinal’s voice. I looked again, and Cardinal’s jawwas hanging open, his tongue out, but his face was toned like a living human,and the light was back in his eyes.

“Jorge Joestar! It’s all your fault! You brought death here!You’re jinxed!”

Cursing me, Cardinal began swinging his arm wildly, stillclutching the other end of my poker. I was flung through the air, and when Ihit the floor I no longer had a weapon in my hand.

“Now it’s over, Jorge,”

Antonio’s voice returned, laughing.

“Honestly, I never thought the day would come I’d kill you.I’d have laughed if you died, but I just liked seeing you cry and run when yousaw me coming. I never really considered actually killing you. Heh heh. Butwhat will be will be. This was our fate all along. It was decided long ago.”

Antonio swung Cardinal’s fist, and sent me flying. Wham! Ihit my head hard on the opposite wall, and nearly passed out. For a briefmoment I wondered if maybe I’d be better off if I did pass out here. Wouldn’tthat be easier? But I shook that thought off. I had Lisa Lisa and Josephwaiting for me. My friends and family, all gathered together in my home. I’d followedthe rules of the Church of England and had my banns read out three times. Nowthe big day was finally here! I had to get back to it!

“Heh heh heh! Well!?”

Thwack! Antonio hit me in the side of the head with thepoker he’d stolen from me. My head throbbed, but I ignored it, thinkingfuriously.

“Resist! C’mon, Jorge! I thought you wanted to fight me!Wasn’t this ‘your turn’?”

Thwack! Cardinal struck me across the back where I lay. ButI just kept thinking, didn’t respond at all. There was no way I’d win this in astraight up fist fight. And the excitement of the fight would stop me thinkingat all. No point in fighting to lose. Think! How could I survive this?Normally, Lisa Lisa would show up. But she wouldn’t make it in time today. Itwas the busiest

day for a bride. At this rate I would clearly be dead soon.If I was lay here waiting for Lisa Lisa to come running in her wedding dress,I’d die. No. I couldn’t leave this in her hands. I had to cast out the urge tojust wait for her to save me. Don’t make it Lisa Lisa’s job to save your life!But what could I do? I was already half-dead.

“C’mon, c’mon, c’mon! This is boring! God, you’re pathetic,Jorge!”

Antonio howled.

“Can’t you at least go out like a man!? Or are you gonna dielike this!?”

I’m not going to die! But why was I still so convinced ofthat? Because I thought Tsukumojuku was going to appear out of nowhere and saveme again? I did. I mean, he’d said: We’ll meet again, one more time. Cool.Then, could that be now? Come on! But he didn’t. Of course not. There was nosign of him coming at all. No sign…? Fifteen years ago, when Tsukumojukushowed himself at the Motorize Manor, there’d been no ‘signs’ of him coming. Sowhy had he come? He’d said, I’m here to help you. He’d been there for me. He’dcome if I needed him.

“Fuck it, then die! Heh heh! Your entire life was a waste!It was a waste of my time ever dealing with someone like you! You’re such aworthless, pathetic fool that your very existence ruins the lives of everyonearound you! You should never have been born!”

Tsukumojuku had also said this: Your Beyond is making ithappen. Right. He’d talked like that a lot, about the power I had. Beyond. I’dcompletely forgotten about it again, but I remembered now. I had some sort ofgod on my side. Believe in Beyond, and you will overcome your fate. Iremembered something else, now. Tom Petty’s prophecy. Master Tom Petty went andsaid something ridiculous about

you dying around the time we get married, Lisa Lisa hadsaid, and her fears had come to pass. I hadn’t imagined it would actually bethe day of, but anyway, I was destined to die here. But Tom Petty had saidsomething else. I dunno. Up to you. That’s right, this was up to me. That godmay not have made up its mind, either. But if you wish to go on living, youmust follow that god. There was no other way. If I was to survive this, I hadto put my faith in this Beyond. Okay. Let’s believe. With my head all woozyfrom the hail of poker thwacks Antonio was unleashing on it.

“Arrghhhhh! You’re this pointless without an airplane? Doyou even have a cock!? Been a while, but let’s find out!”

Antonio moved Cardinal’s hand and pulled my trousers andunderwear off but I just let him. I couldn’t afford to waste energy resisting.Think. What did believing in Beyond entail? It meant there was an authorwriting a story with me as the main character. Then come on and save me! Ithought, but I know there was a reason why they couldn’t. Once Tsukumojuku hadvanished and I was all alone I’d read a lot of novels, so I knew. Stories hadplots, they had narrative flow, and you couldn’t have things that didn’t makesense or just showed up out of the blue. I had to create the flow. Beyondexisted. That’s why Tsukumojuku had come fifteen years ago. He’d come eventhough I didn’t believe in Beyond at the time because…I thought about thatfor a minute, and decided it was to convince me that Beyond existed. And at thesame time, teach me how to use Beyond.

“God damn, your ass is pale! Heh heh! Watch it bounce!”

Antonio yelled, hitting me so hard with the poker half mycheek was torn off.

“Just how soft is it!? What’s it made of, gelatin!? Look atit wobble!”

If I used Beyond, Tsukumojuku would come. What I needed wasa way to use it. Think.

What narrative would allow him to come? I remember the lastthing he’d said to me. The nature of my name suggests that we’ll meet again,one more time. Right. His name? Come to think of it, fifteen years ago he’dsaid some nonsense about his name. Tsukumojuku. Tsukumojuku is 9, 10, 9, 10, 9.My name has three all-powerful gods linked together by two crosses. The name ofGod. Right. Because he had the name of God he’d come for me again. But why hadit put it like that? What was there to his name? There must be something. Theremust be a meaning to that ‘all-powerful god’ and ‘cross’. I remembered that I’dborrowed a Japanese dictionary from Tsukumojuku once and flipped through it abit.

“Argh! Show me your cock! Heh heh heh! What the…that ain’tyour cock! What the hell! Grown-up cocks are gross! That’s disgusting! I’mgonna puke!”

Antonio shrieked, and warm vomit splattered down on myexposed crotch. Chewed up bits of William Cardinal’s insides. Japanesecharacters don’t just symbolize sounds. They also show meaning, and there’sbreadth to that meaning. This breadth is why 九 could mean ‘9’ and ‘omnipotent god.’And why 十could be ’10’ and a ‘cross’. The shape of the kanji was a metaphorical symbol.In Japanese, you could manipulate that meaning to ‘convey’ that one thing wasanother. Force open a path, and allow meaning to pass down it. So back toTsukumojuku. 九十九十九.Him giving me that dictionary when he left felt like the work of Beyond to me.It let me understand. I was extremely glad I’d learned just how broad themeaning of Japanese words could be.

Japanese used kanji. Kanji had several different readings.The kanji 九had three readings.

“Kyuu”,

“Kokono”, and

“Ku.”

The kanji 十had five.

“Ji~”,

“Juu”,

“Shuu”,

“To”, and

“Too”.

“Kokono”

and

“Too”

sounded like

“Here”

and

“Far”. Here, far, here, far, here. A name that started‘here’, went ‘far’ away twice, and then came back.

“Shit! Your dick made me throw up!”

Antonio yelled, and raised the poker, but I’d made it intime. I’d been trying to focus on thinking but I’d been panicking on theinside. Fortunately, I’d done it.

He went far away, and came back twice. After he vanished inAmerica, he’d come back once in the Motorize Manor, and vanished again. So he’dcome back once more. Here.

“That’s right.”

And there he was, still fifteen years old, standing by myside and looking down at me.

“At last you decided to believe in Beyond, Jorge,”

Tsukumojuku said.

“It took you getting this bloody? You sure are a troublesomeprotagonist.”

He bent down, and took my shoulders.

“What?”

Antonio said.

“Tsukumojuku Kato!? Why are you still young!?”

He attacked, but his swing met only air.

“Eh?”

I said.

“We’re not going back to the wedding?”

Tsukumojuku looked sorry.

“You’ve got another role to play. But don’t worry, it’s arole your Beyond prepared for you. Although that doesn’t guarantee it’ll leadto a happy ending.”

“Uh…then what’s the point?”

“Don’t worry! You’ll find the meaning yourself!”

“Oh, come on! So…where are we?”

Tsukumojuku and I were standing in some foreign land. Notanywhere in Europe. I could see a cluster of houses in the distance that werenice-looking, sturdily constructed, but not anything you’d see in Europe. Thegreen crops growing in square-cut, farm-like plots of mud were clearly notwheat.

“This is Japan,”

Tsukumojuku said.

“A country town called Morioh. Although at the moment, it isfloating upside-down in the Pacific.”

I had no idea what that last bit meant, but the rest came asquite a surprise.

“Japanese!? Why are we here!?”

“Because your role is to be played here.”

“Wow, Japan…it’s a beautiful country.”

“Thank you. I believe you’re here to solve a mystery.”

“Hunh? What kind?”

“Murder. I’m the victim. It’s all yours, buddy.”

“……………!? Hunh!? What….”

“Meeting you and being your friend has been an honor. I’mproud of you, Jorge Joestar. The world to come is in your hands!”

And with that, Tsukumojuku vanished into thin air, or I wokefrom a waking dream. I wasn’t sure which. Either way the instant he was gonethe brightly lit Morioh landscape went black as pitch, and I found myself lyingon a cold night road, with neither stars nor moon in the sky above. My body wascovered in blood from the beating Antonio Torres gave me. My skull wasfractured, and chunks of flesh had been torn from my back and ass. I was in ahell of a state. Barely alive, but alive.

Antonio and his Cardinal suit were killed by Lisa Lisa, onceshe arrived.

Kenton and the other zombies had been abducting and eatingneighbors, and the house was filled with leftover bits of flesh and blood, andthey found my uniform torn to pieces, so they were all convinced I’d died. LisaLisa cried. But not just Lisa Lisa, Penelope was crying too, and furious, sowhen 920,000 Antonios surrounded Great Britain, Penelope unleashed her fury andcreated a locked room. The locked room was made from the flying squirrelAntonios hovering over the bluffs, and the giant wall made from torn up bits ofthem surrounded the whole of Great Britain.

“How dare you! You’ll pay for this! I swear it!”

Penelope screamed, her rage targeting the entire world. Itmay have looked like the wall made of Antonio was surrounding England, but itwasn’t. Penelope had made a locked room that surrounded all of the world thatwasn’t England. The 920,000 Antonios that Penelope fused into a giant wallbegan to gobble up the world.