Last Born Of The Desdemona

Chapter 252: Chapter 252: Heavy Heart

Chapter 252 – Heavy Heart

"Who killed Coco?"

It was an obvious question, Cassius knew. And the man in front of him, blind and crying blood like no one else, answered without hesitation.

"Naomi." He spat, his voice holding a fury and a helplessness Cassius couldn’t fully understand, "Naomi Holloway."

Cassius wasn’t surprised by the answer. In fact, it only confirmed what he’d feared, and what he’d hoped wasn’t the case.

’Did...did Coco die because I talked to her and ignored her master? Did that woman kill someone...because she was ignored? How is that even possible? How can someone be like this?’

It was unfathomable to Cassius.

Yet the reality of the situation was plain for all to see. And that reality turned uglier still when, out of nowhere, he remembered the first time he’d met Coco.

It was in the Hades Building, when the runic elevator stopped on the 7th...

’Huh?’ Cassius’s thoughts halted abruptly, his eyes flying wide in shock, ’7th? The 7th floor? How did I not notice that? Coco lived on the 7th floor!’

That realization made him recall something he’d dismissed that day — that night — as nothing but ordinary Academy bullying.

The night he’d come back from a date with Isolde, entered the elevator, and found it painted in blood.

The number 7 on the elevator panel had been redder than any other.

Now Cassius knew who that blood had belonged to.

’She was going through all of this...and still smiled at me? Still asked me, the day we met, if I’d loved the breakfast?’

The Last Born of the Desdemona was at a loss for words, the weight of it pressing down on him harder than he’d expected.

In that moment Cassius felt like a child again, faced with a problem too complex to solve.

And that problem was his own feelings.

Feelings he didn’t know what to do with, feelings he’d never wanted to have in the first place.

He lost himself in thought for a moment, adrift in a haze of questions that barely mattered anymore, and was only pulled out of it by the voice of the blind man kneeling in front of him.

A voice sadder even than his own.

Cassius looked at him and saw a broken man.

"I have no right to ask this of you. And you have no duty to do it either. But...but..." The man clenched his jaw tight, "...avenge her. That’s all I ask. I don’t know what someone like me could offer you, but I beg you. She loved you. She truly did. So please..." he paused, sobbing for a couple of breaths, "...don’t let Coco’s death mean nothing."

His voice broke completely at the end, overwhelmed by grief that seemed to have no end.

Nafissatou, standing behind them and watching all of this, saw in Cripple a part of herself. A part of her own dreadful past.

She remembered the days after her mother’s death. Days when she’d thought of nothing but ending her own life, after losing the only reason she’d had for enduring her father’s beatings.

She had wanted to die. She had tried to die.

The proof of it lay hidden behind her mask.

But she’d been lucky enough to be saved that day, by someone. Someone who had promised her a better future.

A future where she’d be happy, loved, and protected.

Nafissatou nearly laughed. Not out of happiness, but out of something vile and hollow.

’Where is that better day?’ She asked herself, looking at Cripple, ’I took this mission to escape my father. I took it to escape my stepmother, who wants nothing but to steal my mother’s Inherited Skill. Yet here I am...again, bound to someone like a slave.’

A slave once. A slave forever.

Nafissatou felt the helplessness of her own life, and looked at Cripple with an empathy so strong it nearly drove her to walk over and hug him.

He needed it. If he didn’t get it, he would kill himself.

If not today, then tomorrow.

And Cassius had noticed that too.

"I don’t know you," Cassius said, looking at him, "but I don’t need to know you to see that you loved Coco more than I could ever hope to."

Cripple said nothing, struggling to hold back his wails as Cassius continued.

"You knew her far better than I did. So you deserve to be the one to avenge her..."

Cassius smiled sadly.

"...more than I do. I was just a man she admired and loved for what I represent."

Cripple shook his head immediately, "I can’t. I can’t, I know. Look at me. I’m weak and blind. I’m a cripple."

Cassius indeed looked at him, knowing he had to do something. It was clear this blind man had shared a bond with Coco. If he’d failed Coco, he could at least try for the man grieving her.

’At least you have someone grieving for you, Coco. Only one, if you don’t count me. But it’s heavier than hundreds. Oh...heavier, indeed.’

With that thought, he spoke, "You are a cripple."

"Cripple. That’s my name now." He nodded, "Everyone calls me that now. Cripple. Yes, how could I save her? I couldn’t. Please—!"

"So what if you are?" Cassius whispered, his voice cutting straight through Cripple’s foggy mind.

"Huh?"

"I said, what if you’re a cripple? Why does it matter?"

"It does. I can’t do anything! I can’t—!"

"That’s where you’re wrong, Cripple. You can do something." Cassius cut in cleanly, making the blind man look at him, dazed, "And it’s something you should be more aware of right now than on any other day."

"...what? I...I don’t understand."

"I know that. Many people don’t truly appreciate the fact that they’re still breathing."

Cripple froze.

"Ah? Do you get it now, Cripple? You’re breathing. And if you can breathe, you can think. And if you can think hard enough..."

Cassius smiled faintly.

"...you can win."

Cripple was in a daze, those words repeating inside his mind on a loop.

"And there are many ways to win, even for a cripple like you."

"What...what kind of way?" Cripple asked, his voice now tinged with a sliver of hope. Only a sliver, but enough to make him reconsider his wish to die before avenging Coco.

Cassius looked at him for a moment, then spoke:

"The first way...is to accept someone’s help." He said, then, "Do you want my help, Cripple?"

...

Cassius sat on the ground, Coco’s corpse beside him, shrouded in a white cloth given to him by Nafissatou.

He had managed to send Cripple off to rest, reassuring him he’d take care of her body.

Nafissatou remained with him, still holding the woman he was supposed to interrogate about the twins.

But now Cassius found himself unable to continue with that plan. His mind was lost in a labyrinth, each twist and turn making him wince and sigh.

Only now did he fully realize how different he was from what most people believed him to be.

His Angel title had turned out to be more of a burden than he’d first thought. All because of the act of saving Océane in front of an entire kingdom.

It had been an honorable act by any measure, but one that had burdened him with expectations he never wanted.

Cassius hadn’t saved Océane because he was Angel. He’d saved her because he was Cassius Desdemona, and she was his maid.

That was a distinction most people dangerously overlooked.

He was only that way toward people he cared about. And unfortunately for the world, he couldn’t care about everyone.

’Am I rationalizing my feelings?’ He caught himself with a self-deprecating smile, ’but what else can I do? I need this to keep myself from slipping into a pit of guilt and becoming something I’m not. I don’t know what I am, but I’m not a hero. I have no ambition to save everyone in pain in this world, nor the will to try.’

He lowered his head, burying his face in his hands for a moment.

’And yet, can I let a tragedy like Coco’s happen again?’

The tragedy had happened because of his existence, but it had certainly been made worse by his own actions.

That brought to mind a lesson he’d thought he already understood.

It was about the Shadow Guards, back in the Outskirts of Desde City. He had ordered them to leave him, and they had obeyed.

They had died for it.

Now it had happened again.

Getting close to Coco — him a Palatine, her an abused maid — and then merely asking if she wanted help, as if that were enough.

It wasn’t. Not for Coco, at least.

His careless actions had killed someone else, again.

’...Careful, Cassius. Be mindful of your actions...be mindful, so you don’t cause what you never intended.’

[But you’re no god, Cassius.] the Queen of Fate said, her tone irritated, [No matter how hard you try, things you never intended will always happen. I won’t let you blame yourself for that.]

’I know. But it’s a lesson I have to learn, and try my hardest to apply. And besides, that’s why the second point matters.’

He took a deep breath.

’I need to know where my compassion ends. Otherwise I’ll always live like this, guilty over deaths I never wanted, but forced into by circumstance.’

[You already have your boundaries.] Ananke said, [Your family, your friends, your subordinates. If you start caring for every single person who merely likes you for your fame or your looks, you’ll end up caring about half this kingdom. You’re not built for that, Cassius. Your Fate is the Fated Villain, and it affects you more than you realize. Emrys Stormblessed can succeed because of who he is. You would destroy yourself trying.]

Ananke paused, then continued slowly...

[You have your own Path, Cassius. It will be bitter. It will be disappointing. It will be painful. But it’s your Path. And remember...]

Cassius exhaled.

[...you already carry the weight of the Desdemona on your shoulders. It’s heavier than you think. Far heavier.]

The Last Born said nothing for a while. In that moment, his thoughts drifted, unbidden, to his wife, Isolde, his heart full of uncertainty.

He missed her. He missed her even more in that instant.

Still...

’I understand.’ Cassius whispered, closing his eyes, ’but let me make an exception for the first person who helped me in this Academy without asking for anything in return. Coco earned my compassion, Queen. So let me make her death mean something. It’s the least I can do.’

Ananke nodded, looking at her Blessed with a fond, warm expression.

[I allow it, Cassius. I always do. But how will you do it?]

Cassius Desdemona lifted his head,

"It’s only realistic to be ready to die, if you’re ready to kill."

He looked at Coco’s body, then slowly slid his gaze toward the unconscious woman in Nafissatou’s grip.

"I hope they are."

—End of Chapter 252—