Last Born Of The Desdemona

Chapter 341: Chapter 341: Do You Remember Now, Brother?!

Chapter 341 – Do You Remember now, Brother?

"Tell me, brother, how is it living as Cassius Desdemona?" Stella asked softly, her eyes fixed on Cassius.

He didn’t know what to say at first. It was a very strange question, as few people ever sat down and just...pondered these kinds of things.

Cassius realized that he had never done that. Since the moment he reincarnated into this world, he had been thrust into all kinds of situations that never allowed him to simply sit down and ask himself...

...how is it living as Cassius Desdemona?

He couldn’t help but smile, slowly shaking his head. "That’s an interesting question, Stella. You don’t talk like someone your age."

"Maybe because I am not someone my age." She said, turning her head back toward the golden river. "Will you answer, brother? Or are you going to dodge the question?"

"I am thinking about it. Bear with me." Cassius said. "I simply don’t know what to say."

"I will make it simple for you, then." She said, now playing with the golden weeds beneath her. "Do you love your current life?"

"I do." He said instantly.

"Why?"

"I have a family." Cassius said just as quickly, before shaking his head in her direction. "I am not saying that in a way that means I have replaced you. It’s impossible to do so. But even though I managed to get through the whole incident back on Earth, it was hard to walk through life without a family. And you only truly realize that during special occasions like Christmas."

He chuckled softly.

"That’s when an orphan really feels like one." He said. "You have no one waiting for you at home. You have no thrill or even excitement about what kind of gift you will give or receive. It’s just...you. You and the cold, empty house. If you are not depressed and crying, maybe you will have the courage to go out, see people happy, which will — sadly — make you feel even worse, and buy yourself something fancy to eat. But if you are, then water will do the trick, or some burger from a cheap restaurant."

"How did you manage to get through it?"

"I just clenched my teeth, closed my eyes, and dove in. I couldn’t do anything else." He said. "And sometimes, or maybe most of the time, alas, I was foolish enough to remember the Christmases we had when you were all still alive."

"Why foolish?" Stella asked, tilting her head. "I don’t think that’s foolish."

"Oh, but it is. At least to me." Cassius replied. "It’s a bad habit to revisit the past. But it’s even harder to lose something you once had and loved. So sometimes, that was all I could do to bear it for one more day."

He paused, then slowly continued.

"Which brings me back to why I like my current life." He smiled now. "I have a family, Stella. They are not the best, I know. My oldest sibling, Morgan, is an assassin. There is Dorian, who loves trafficking women and men, old and young, into the sex industry to exploit them. There are the twins, who are the very definition of bullies."

"Yet you love them, don’t you?"

"I do." He chuckled. "They are my family, and they love me without expecting anything from me. And you know what they say: darkness is easy to condemn when it belongs to others. But when it comes from one of your own, even the blackest sins begin to look gray."

"Human hypocrisy." Stella snorted loudly. "But I can’t say anything about it. I would have done the same if I were in your place."

"Maybe." Cassius nodded. "Besides my family, I have my Ananke and my friends. I have many of them in this world, and they are all so unique. I am pretty sure you would love Keisha, Stella."

"Why her?"

"Because no one reasonable enough can hate her." He said, smiling. "She is an angel. I wish she had been born in a...less dark world."

"You are protective of her, aren’t you?"

"That’s literally my angel." He laughed shortly. "Natalia is also a great woman who deserves better than loving someone who doesn’t love her that way. And there is Klaus," he laughed again, "I think you might get along with him too."

"From what I know, he is quite arrogant and prideful." Stella remarked.

"That’s his charm, sister. His charm!" He said loudly, barking a laugh. "Klaus is indeed arrogant and prideful, but he is a good and loyal friend. I hope he will achieve great things in his life. He has the potential for it."

"There are also Raven and Esmeray." Stella said. "You like them too?"

"Oh, I do, yes." He nodded. "Raven is a soft, calm guy. He never talks too loudly, never stands out, and never acts more than necessary. He has the characteristics of a great King. I only hope Anesthesia won’t be the death of him."

"Most great men are ruined by women. What would you do if Anesthesia ruined him?"

"I prefer not to think about that."

"Because you are afraid."

"I am." He acknowledged. "So I won’t think about it."

Stella chuckled. "Well then, brother, what about Esmeray?"

"Esmeray is..." He made a difficult expression, struggling to find the right words. "...let’s say a nice woman scarred by a curse. I think that’s what is holding her back. Without it, she would have been fabulous."

"Would you want to help her get rid of her curse?"

"If I ever have the opportunity, then why not?" Cassius nodded, then continued talking about the whole Hood family, then about Sarah, a lovely maid who was becoming more than a simple maid.

Next, he talked about his master, Mallory, and the new friends he had made, like Bishop and Cassandra.

It reached the point where the only one left was his wife.

"She is named Isolde Amaris." He said with a kind, loving smile. "And she is one of the reasons I like my current life, sister."

"What can you tell me about your relationship with her?"

"I don’t have a word for it." He shook his head. "Anything I might say would undermine what I feel for her. The only thing I can say is that losing her would mean losing more than a part of me, just like how I lost myself when I lost you on Earth."

"But is she worthy?" Stella said, looking at him intently. "Can she follow you, brother? Looking at it from an outside point of view, she is less gifted than any of your classmates. And I emphasize ’any.’"

"Why does she need to follow me?" Cassius chuckled at that. "I am neither ahead of her nor do I know the path ahead. It’s her and me walking together to reach our goals. If I can help her, I will. If she can, she will."

Stella said nothing, only listening.

"All of these people make my life as Cassius Desdemona enjoyable. However," his voice now sank to a whisper, "they are also, in some way, why my life is...heavy."

"What do you mean?"

"The more people I come to love and appreciate, the less alone I feel, yes...but the more I need to stretch myself thin to protect them." He said. "It’s ironic, isn’t it? There are times when I wish I didn’t have so many people around me because of the burden they put upon me. All that without even taking into account two goddesses who literally put their lives on my shoulders, and the whole Desdemona family wanting me for something I cannot even begin to fathom."

He sighed.

"It’s...it’s difficult, Stella. I have come to realize that my life is no longer my own, and sometimes I feel lost despite knowing what my next step is."

"The problem is that you attach love to responsibility." Stella said, shaking her head. "For you, if you love someone, you have the responsibility to care for them."

"That’s exactly how love is."

"In a way, yes. But maybe you are exaggerating, brother." She looked at him. "Your family and friends are not so helpless, are they? Why do you wish to take upon yourself the responsibility for their lives?"

"Maybe because I feel more secure that way." He admitted. "I tell myself that with me, there is far less chance of them dying than without me."

"That’s arrogant of you."

"I know."

"And you do not intend to change that habit?"

"I would if I could, sister. No one likes living with a mind growing heavier every day."

"How do you plan to survive this mental burden, then?" She asked the most important question. "Because at this rate, you will reach a point where you will come to hate making new friends and relationships because of this habit. And at that time, mark my words, you will die without being dead."

"That’s the question I have been asking myself lately." Cassius said, raising his head upward, sighing wearily. "What is the thing I love to do and would do without anything else in the back of my mind? Something I can enjoy without automatically trying to find a use for it?"

"But you like something, brother. Or have you forgotten?"

"You mean reading?"

"So you truly have forgotten." Stella chuckled. She stood up from the ground slowly, moved, then sat just in front of him, between his legs.

She leaned backward, her back resting gently against his chest. Her afro hair was right in front of his face.

"You were always begging Mother to let you braid my hair when we were young, remember?"

Cassius’s eyes suddenly widened at her words, and memories of that exact time flashed through his mind. "Oh...oh...y-yes. I do remember."

He muttered in a daze, looking at her hair, his heart beating loudly in his ears.

"I remember it clearly now." He continued, his voice frail and soft. "I remember seeing Mother watching videos on YouTube about how to braid our type of hair."

Stella laughed merrily. "Yes, hahah. Not only that, she also used to beg Father to let her practice on him first before braiding my hair."

"Father always complained and grumbled but always ended up letting Mother do whatever she wanted with his hair." Cassius’s eyes were wet with melancholy. "Heheh, I also remember Uncle Raymond saying that a white woman doing that was...strange, to avoid using harsher words."

"They truly hated it, didn’t they?"

"Oh, they did." Cassius whispered. "And you know, I was also watching those tutorial videos with Mother, trying to learn just like her because I wanted to braid my baby sister’s hair too."

"You never had the chance before we died."

"Mother was very protective of your hair. She was afraid I would make a mess of it and hurt you."

"What do you think, then?" Stella grinned, slowly turning her head to look at him from the corner of her eye. "Do you want to braid my hair, brother?"

"I have never practiced before."

"You can do it with me here." She urged him. "Now don’t hesitate for too long and go on. This dream will not last forever."

Cassius looked at her hair, exhaled, then slowly created a small chair and sat on it so he could look down at her hair from slightly above.

He closed his eyes, remembering the times he begged his mother to let him braid Stella’s hair, and the numerous times his father simply stayed silent and let his wife, who had never known how people from African countries braided their hair, practice on his own.

Cassius remembered being happy seeing his mother try so hard to learn something completely unfamiliar to her.

And it was that image that made him love braiding.

Because there was nothing else inside that act besides love, care, and trust.

There was nothing to gain.

It was simply an act of love.

And as Cassius stretched out his hands and gently grasped the soft hair of his sister, all while remembering the type of braids his mother had been trying to learn, he began to feel a profound sense of ease and tranquility inside his mind.

An ease and contentment that only appeared when someone was doing something they liked purely for the sake of it.

And that...

His eyes blurred.

...was his Hobby.

—End of Chapter 341—