New Times, New Hell

Chapter 93 - Painting Ghost

After exiting the convention center, Yu Zhengdu and Shang Que took a taxi back to their hotel.

The hotel they were living at was one the main event organizer had booked according to the guests’ criterion. Because both of them were men, the main event organizer booked a standard room with two beds for them.

A lot of things had happened today. When they returned to the hotel, Yu Zhengdu directly flopped onto the bed and refused to get back up. Upon noticing this, Shang Que didn’t suggest heading out to eat. Instead, he pulled out his phone and started ordering takeout.

He familiarly opened the takeout red envelope sharing group chat belonging to the subsidiary company’s programmers. He clicked into the links one by one to grab red envelopes. Then, he opened the takeout app and chose the largest red envelope he could use. After successfully placing the order, he shared the new red envelope link into the group chat.

This stream of actions had truly been completed very smoothly. So smoothly that it caused one’s heart to hurt.

……You couldn’t see the domineering air that a big collector ought to have at all.

Yu Zhengdu, who witnessed this entire process, couldn’t help bursting into laughter. He remembered what Shang Que had said at the convention center and, after brief thought, asked, “Boss, those Song Dynasty antiques that you own are all your family possessions?”

“Un, they were things I used in the past.” Shang Que seemed to be slightly speechless. “Back then, they weren’t that remarkable at all, but after enough time, they’ve surprisingly become very valuable……The things humans value are truly very strange.”

“Because the lifespan of a human is very short. Forget a thousand years. Even history from a hundred years prior is considered very long ago to humans. Because we can’t see it, we can only use these old objects to try and recreate the past.”

“Perhaps.” It was obvious that Shang Que couldn’t really understand this feeling. However, because Yu Zhengdu was so seriously explaining it to him, he still diligently considered this.

“Speaking of, you’ve been alive for so many years. You ought to have a lot of other goodies, right?” Yu Zhengdu flipped over. He sprawled out on the blanket, eyes twinkling as he gazed at Shang Que. “Like stuff from the Ming Dynasty or Qing Dynasty. Can you let me see those too?”

“I don’t have anything else.” Shang Que paused for a moment before turning his face away. “I didn’t experience the later dynasties. I don’t have anything from them either.”

Yu Zhengdu temporarily froze. Suddenly, what Daoist priest Mu had told him about the legend of the Ghost King of Luofeng Mountain appeared in his mind——

The Ghost King of Luofeng Mountain had been born of the malefic aura of evil spirits. He had no past life and wouldn’t enter the cycles of reincarnation. From birth, he was capable of commanding tens of thousands of evil ghosts.

He originally should have become a legend among the three realms. In actuality, the bits and pieces of records left behind from a thousand years ago truly did confirm how the Ghost King of Luofeng Mountain had once been a glorious presence. His reach had been so broad that in the mortal realm, some people hadn’t worshipped the true gods and had worshipped him instead.

But out of the blue, this Ghost King had completely disappeared. From then on, there were no more legends regarding the Ghost King in the mortal realm anymore. It was like he had never been born.

Regarding this point, Yu Zhengdu had previously had many guesses. However, he had never considered this possibility before.

No wonder why Shang Que clearly didn’t mind talking about the past, even occasionally cussing out those dramas set in the Song Dynasty, but had never mentioned any dynasty after the two Songs.

He actually hadn’t experienced any of the following dynasties. Then where had he gone those one thousand years? And what had he been doing?

Yu Zhengdu gazed at Shang Que. Shang Que looked elsewhere, only leaving a striking and cold side profile. His eyes were as dark as bottomless pits. Yu Zhengdu didn’t know what he was thinking.

A while later, Shang Que finally came back to his senses. He noticed Yu Zhengdu’s gaze out of his periphery. After a moment of hesitation, he asked, “Are you very interested in the relics from the later dynasties?”

“No, I was just making small talk.” Yu Zhengdu had a lot of questions in his heart, but he didn’t continue to ask them. As if nothing had happened, he smiled and changed the topic. “I’m only interested in your family possessions. Can you show them to me again?”

“What’s there to see about family possessions?” Shang Que asked with great restraint. However, his mood obviously became a lot better. He stuffed his hand into his pocket and started pulling stuff out. “If you want to see them, though, I guess I’ll show you……”

He scanned Yu Zhengdu out of his periphery and very casually tugged a piece of paper out. “Actually, I was doing pretty well for myself. I owned a house in Bianliang a thousand years ago too……”

“This is my property deed from that time.” He handed that piece of paper to Yu Zhengdu. After brief thought, he seemed to fear that Yu Zhengdu wouldn’t understand. Thus, he added, “Back then, Bianliang was the capital city. So you know, this was the equivalent of owning a home in the modern capital city.”

Yu Zhengdu accepted the property deed: “……”

Was Boss showing off his wealth?

Just as he thought of this, Shang Que also handed over a bright and translucent stone the size of a chicken egg. It was easy to tell even from just a glance that this was a remarkable gem. He modestly introduced, “This is a luminescent pearl. It glows in the dark.”

Yu Zhengdu felt like he was close to suffering a heart attack. Uncontrollably, he started feeling a bit resentful towards the wealthy……A luminescent pearl the size of a chicken egg. Even he, a normal civilian who knew nothing about gemstones, knew that this pearl was definitely a priceless treasure.

Shang Que wasn’t done after showing off his house. He wanted to show off his gems too?

What happened to the down-to-earth Boss who fought to grab red envelopes with him when ordering takeout?!

When Yu Zhengdu accepted the pearl, Shang Que continued, “……This was what I previously kept in my horse carriage as a light source. The carriage I used back then was pretty good too.”

Yu Zhengdu: ??

Wait. Boss, you just pulled out an extremely valuable gemstone, but your point of focus is on introducing your carriage?

Could this be a modern retelling of the legendary buying the case and returning the pearl? Boss was using his pearl to show off his carriage?

Just as Yu Zhengdu was feeling completely bewildered, Shang Que suddenly turned his face away and calmly gave his last statement: “Also, I don’t have parents.”

The Ghost King was born of Luofeng Mountain. He had no past life and wouldn’t enter the cycles of reincarnation. He naturally didn’t have parents.

But why was Boss suddenly mentioning this?

Yu Zhengdu stared, bewildered, at the property deed in his hand that represented possession of a house in the capital and the luminescent pearl in his other hand that represented possession of a carriage. He combined these with the last thing Boss had said. And then, he realized.

Fuck!

Wasn’t this the legendary perfect marriage partner——owns a car, owns a house, both parents are dead!

Yu Zhengdu turned to look at Shang Que. He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Even though Boss was bad at dating, he had lots and lots of tricks up his sleeve.

Shang Que observed Yu Zhengdu’s exasperated expression. He didn’t know what the other was thinking. Thus, he hesitantly asked, “You don’t like them?”

Yu Zhengdu: “That’s not it……”

Before he could even finish speaking, Shang Que had already pulled《Trip to Songfeng Pavilion》out from his pocket again. “You like this a bit more, right? Then I’ll just give this to you.”

A painting suddenly got stuffed into Yu Zhengdu’s hands once more. He was honestly both amused and annoyed. “That’s not what I mean.”

“No matter,” Shang Que said, “I can give you whatever you want.”

“You haven’t told me why you’re giving me gifts yet.” Yu Zhengdu stared straight at him, slight amusement on his face. “Without a logical reason, I won’t accept anything.”

His eyes were bright. His gaze was passionate. This actually made Shang Que blank out for a moment.

“You still don’t understand?”

Yu Zhengdu patiently spoke. His voice wasn’t loud, but it was very clear. It caused waves of emotion to flood one’s heart.

Shang Que only felt like his heart had skipped a beat. He suddenly stood up and released an elegant hrmph. “I’ll head downstairs to grab the takeout.”

He took quick and stable steps towards the door, then opened it and walked out. The entire back of his figure read I’m very calm.

Yu Zhengdu honestly couldn’t help the smile on his face. He flopped over and laid down on the soft blanket. While hugging the painting, he burst into muffled laughter.

However, after only a short period of lying down, he suddenly felt like something was off. The room had strangely cooled down. Soon after, the painting in his hands had surprisingly started imperceptibly trembling.

As an experienced Luofeng worker, Yu Zhengdu instantly flipped over and stood up. He walked over to the edge of the desk and placed the painting down. Then, he slowly unfurled it.

As the scroll slowly unfurled, Yu Zhengdu’s eyes subconsciously widened.

The scenery in the painting had started moving.

In the painting, there were tall mountain peaks behind Songfeng Pavilion. Atop the mountain peaks stood pine trees. At this time, however, a gust of wind seemed to have blown through the painting. Those pine tree branches were gently shifting in the wind. If one listened carefully, they could even hear a soft rustling noise.

This scene was honestly strange. If a normal person saw this, they would probably become terrified. However, Yu Zhengdu only slightly furrowed his brows, crossed his arms over his chest, and silently continued to watch the painting scroll.

Probably because it felt confused about his attitude, the painting suddenly paused for a short moment too. After that, it started moving once more.

This time, the slight breeze had turned into a wild wind. The pine tree branches forcefully shook back and forth. A few slightly thinner pine trees even gently bent over because of the wind. The initial faint rustling had also become a roar. The wind tore through the pine trees angrily, causing one’s heart to beat faster.

Yu Zhengdu was still unbothered.

The painting still hadn’t received its desired reaction. It finally couldn’t take it anymore. Only to hear a soft creak – the door to the Songfeng Pavilion had been opened. A simply drawn tiny person walked out from inside. He looked up and made eye contact with Yu Zhengdu.

Yu Zhengdu expressionlessly stared at him.

That little matchstick person glared. He angrily yelled, “How bold! Why aren’t you immediately bowing upon seeing me, the painting immortal?!”

Yu Zhengdu wasn’t scared in the slightest. He calmly pulled his Luofeng phone out of his pocket and opened the Underworld energy detection app to scan this little person.

What a tiny black being!

Upon noticing that Yu Zhengdu was pointing a strange object at him in addition to not being scared and refusing to bow, that little person instantly became outraged. “You are so impolite. Do you not want to live anymore?”

“You tiny ghost,” Yu Zhengdu drawled out. “If you’re smart, you’ll immediately come out of there yourself. Otherwise, I’m going to act!”

This was the first time the little matchstick person had encountered such a situation. His entire being frozen. Then, he became so angry he started jumping up and down. “You actually dare to call me, an immortal, ‘tiny ghost’! I’m an immortal! Not a ghost! Apologize right this instant or I’m going to kill you!”

“Let’s see who’s going to kill who!” Yu Zhengdu rolled his sleeves up, reached out, and hammered down on the little matchstick person’s head. “The Underworld energy around you is off the charts, yet you still dare to pretend to be an immortal!”

The little matchstick person had never met someone who wasn’t scared of him and also truly dared to actually hit him. In a moment of carelessness, he got hammered in the head. He instantly squatted on the ground in pain. While holding onto his head, he started crying. “How could you hit a painting immortal?! You’re too much!”

Following his words, the wind started up in the painting once again. This time, it was even stronger. As it roared to life, it actually blew the tiled roof of the Songfeng Pavilion off too.

The little matchstick person’s voice was cold and bitter. “Do you believe me when I say that I can let you know right this instant the consequences of offending the painting immortal?!”

Yu Zhengdu pulled out his phone. “Do you believe me when I say that I can call a dozen ghosts over to beat you up with one phone call?!”

“I’ve seen too many people like you who love to bluff,” the little matchstick person replied. Then, he reached out and actually poked a hand out of the painting. However, when his hand exited the scroll, it was no longer a thin line of ink; instead, it became a bony, withered hand that was stained black. There were sharp nails on his fingers. “Come, come into the painting to accompany me……”

“Accompany who?” The door to the room opened. Shang Que walked in while carrying the takeout.

The air in the room suddenly came to a standstill. The hand in the scroll instantly froze. Immediately thereafter, that hand started very obviously shaking. The matchstick person’s voice was shaking too. “Is this the, the……ghost that you called?”

Of course not. This was only a coincidence.

Yu Zhengdu was too lazy to explain. The matchstick person was so terrified that he wanted to pull his hand back into the painting. Before he could act, though, Shang Que had already stepped forward and grabbed his hand. Then, he yanked – a thin Underworld spirit who was covered in black smoke got thrown out of the painting and landed on his butt on the floor of the room.

Yu Zhengdu looked back at the painting. It had already returned to its original state, almost as if nothing had ever happened.

“Great King, spare me——Great King, spare me——” The matchstick person plopped onto the ground and kneeled. He started kowtowing towards Shang Que.

“Where did you come from? How dare you try and act against Luofeng?” Yu Zhengdu started interrogating the ghost in a very experienced manner.

“Luofeng?” That ghost’s expression was bewildered. “What’s Luofeng?”

“You don’t know Luofeng?” Yu Zhengdu was very confused too. These days, as soon as people died, they would instantly be able to receive a message from Luofeng. In all his time working at the company, this was his first time encountering a ghost who didn’t know Luofeng.

Shang Que wasn’t too surprised, though. He said, “Probably a ghost from before the founding of the new state.”

Yu Zhengdu was struck by realization. The collapse of the Heavens and earth had happened after the campaign to Destroy the Four Olds. Luofeng had also only been formed following this. If this ghost was from the era before this and received very limited information, it was truly possible that he wouldn’t know Luofeng.

As expected, when they asked, they found out that this ghost was from the Qing Dynasty.

Yu Zhengdu furrowed his brows. “Why has a ghost from the Qing Dynasty not headed off to reincarnation yet?”

As soon as he mentioned this, the ghost revealed a slightly pleased expression on his face. “What’s so good about reincarnation? Since death, I’ve become a painting immortal. From then on, I’ve been able to spend my days in paintings, browsing through all the famous art pieces of the world. How carefree and satisfying. Why would I rejoin the ranks of the worldly common people?”

“A painting ghost is just a painting ghost,” Yu Zhengdu said with disdain. “Stop trying to make yourself seem more impressive.”

Painting Ghost: “……”

The painting ghost dared to be angry but didn’t dare to express his anger. He pitifully glanced at Shang Que and carefully asked, “So who are you guys?”

“Luofeng Life Management Ltd. Co.” Yu Zhengdu handed his business card over. “The modern Hell.”

The painting ghost was shocked. “H-Hell?”

“Yes.” Yu Zhengdu patiently gave him an explanation. At the really end, he said, “Our goal is to maintain the balance between the mortal realm and Underworld. We want to help every ghost reincarnate as soon as possible, because staying for too long in the mortal realm will affect the normal order of human society.”

“Your behavior just now was a violation of the related rules. According to procedure, you ought to be arrested and deducted Good and Evil Scores,” Yu Zhengdu stated. “Considering that you’re a ghost from before the founding of the new state who doesn’t know anything about these regulations, though, we will reduce your sentence accordingly. Don’t cause any additional trouble either. Hurry and go reincarnate.”

After listening to Yu Zhengdu’s explanation, the painting ghost was still a bit dazed. When he heard Yu Zhengdu telling him to go reincarnate, he instantly started acting defiant again. “I don’t want to reincarnate. Being a painting immortal isn’t bad. I’m very satisfied with my current life.”

“If that’s the case……” Shang Que lifted his gaze and pulled out a pair of disposable chopsticks from the takeout bag. While separating them, he said, “Then I’ll eat you.”

Painting Ghost: “……”

The painting ghost hadn’t expected that the modern Hell would be like this. He instantly started crying out of fear. In between sniffling and crying, he finally shared the truth. “Great King, don’t eat me! It’s not that I don’t want to go reincarnate, it’s that I can’t go reincarnate!”

Yu Zhengdu furrowed his brows. “What does that mean?”

“I-I’m actually not satisfied with my current life at all. I only bluffed because I’m too proud to admit this……” The painting ghost stuttered out, “I can’t leave my painting to go reincarnate……”

It turned out that this painting ghost had been a scholar in the Qing Dynasty. He had spent his whole life working towards scholarly honor, but was unfortunately only mediocre at academics. In the end, he failed to pass the provincial exams. However, despite the fact that he wasn’t great at academics, he was rather talented at painting. Eventually, a fellow villager that he was quite close with wrote him a letter of recommendation to become a guest at the estate of an important government official who liked art and calligraphy.

During a banquet hosted by the government official, he ordered all his guests to help entertain his visitors. There were live poem recitations. The government official liked impressing people, so ordered the scholar to paint everyone enjoying the banquet. This way, he would be able to view this scene again later with his visitors.

The scholar was instantly delighted. He understood that this was his opportunity to prove himself. Thus, he used 120% of his skills and painted the piece that he was most satisfied with in his entire life. Unfortunately, he valued achievement too much, which caused him to worry too much. Just as he was about to finish the painting, due to the fact that he was overly nervous, he accidentally knocked over the ink. This painting was ruined in the blink of an eye.

That government official was shamed in front of his visitors. As such, he kicked the scholar out of his estate. The scholar was hung up over this matter; shortly after, he died from sorrow. Following his death, his spirit possessed the painting that had been ruined by ink and he became a painting ghost.

After hearing this, Yu Zhengdu heaved out a great sigh. He summarized, “The moral of this story is, your emotional state during important tests is very crucial.”

Shang Que calmly said, “All we need to do is obtain the painting and release your soul.”

“You can’t obtain it,” the painting ghost said.

Yu Zhengdu: “Why?”

“Actually……actually, I was only acting on orders this time. I was told to come scare you guys.” The painting ghost guiltily glanced at them. Only, he had never expected that he would fail in scaring them and almost become the Ghost King’s meal instead.

Yu Zhengdu came to a realization after brief thought. “Did Meng Hua Auction House order you to come?”

“Wuwuwu, I didn’t do it on purpose,” the painting ghost cried. “The painting I possess is in their hands. I’m honestly not in control of myself.”

It turned out that after the scholar died, that painting stained with ink had been buried with him. After several twists and turns, his grave became the grounds for a building. That painting also got excavated by the property developers. Those in real estate treated these objects belonging to the dead as taboo. They found a random religious master to look over it. Later on, the people behind Meng Hua somehow found out about this painting. They spent a lot of money and energy to obtain it.

“Each time they encounter a painting they want where the owner doesn’t want to sell it, or the price is too high, they’ll send me out. I’ll enter the painting and scare the owners like I did today. As such, the owners would think that there was something wrong with their painting and be too scared to keep it. And then, Meng Hua would be able to buy it at a low price……”

Yu Zhengdu tsk’d and lamented, “I’m honestly not surprised at all.”

Given Meng Hua and Liu Ao’s tendencies, it was entirely too normal for them to be capable of doing something like this.

“I don’t want to be helping them do bad deeds either,” the painting ghost said, depressed. “I honestly have no other options. The painting I’m possessing is in their hands. I can’t help but listen to their orders.”

Yu Zhengdu’s expression was conflicted. “Your mindset sucks too much. How many years has it been since the Qing Dynasty? You still haven’t let that painting go?”

“What do you understand?!” The painting ghost couldn’t help bursting into tears again. “That was the most perfect painting I ever made. Originally, I could’ve used that painting to quickly rise through the ranks. Why did I have to knock over the ink? Even before my death, I was thinking, ‘How wonderful it would be if I could just suck the ink I knocked over back out.’ I entered the painting with the sole purpose of wiping away the ink on the painting. But I can’t wipe it off! I can’t wipe it off!”

“If I can’t wipe that ink off, how could I be willing to go reincarnate?!”

The more the painting ghost said, the sadder he got. Yu Zhengdu’s ears had already started ringing because of his howls. He couldn’t help blurting out, “Then you should go reincarnate even more. These days, you can draw with tablets and photoshop. You can restart whenever you want and edit your drawing however you want.”

The painting ghost’s cries suddenly stopped. He blankly looked at Yu Zhengdu. “What’s that?”

Yu Zhengdu pulled out his own laptop and opened a software application for drawing. Then, he clicked open a sticker and started showing the painting ghost how to use PS to edit the picture.

The painting ghost stared with wide eyes as Yu Zhengdu showed him how to use modern drawing software. His entire ghostly being was shocked out of his mind. In great disbelief, he said, “Such a mysterious thing actually exists in this world?”

Yu Zhengdu: “Modern society is full of wonders you can’t imagine.”

A bright expression slowly appeared on the painting ghost’s face. He suddenly stood up straight, placed his hands on his hips, and leaned his head back to laugh. “I’m fine! I’ve recovered! I want to go reincarnate! I’m going to use these mysterious new art tools that belong to these new times!”

After he finished speaking, he reached a hand out to point at the silly panda sticker that Yu Zhengdu had casually opened. “And I’m going to learn this brand new style of art!”

Yu Zhengdu: “……”

This ghost had wandered onto the wrong path, right?

The author has something to say:

Xiaokui: I! Have a car, a house, and no parents! The perfect marriage partner! (hands on hips)