Oh My God! Earthlings are Insane!

Chapter 9: The Entire City Is On Guard

Translator: EndlessFantasy Translation Editor: EndlessFantasy Translation

Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh.

The pork liver, which was irregular in shape and shuddered like a piece of tofu, was perfectly sliced into seven parts.

“Huh?”

The mother-daughter pair’s eyes sparkled.

“The livers of Demonic Halberd Pigs contain a lot of nutrition unique to the Other World, and they also have a lot of spirit energy. They provide great help to youngsters when they cultivate. But since it’s difficult to handle and tastes foul, rich people don’t like it, and it’s rather cheap. This was the reason the livers became the main food source from which salaried people obtained spirit energy.”

Meng Chao brought out a box of embroidery needles and started quickly handling the ingredients. “But the foul taste exists simply because the blood vessels and anadesma in the liver aren’t taken care of properly. As long as you get rid of the impurities carefully and put in a lot of ginger and spring onions while you stir-fry it over a large fire, it’ll taste great. The taste won’t even lose to the liver of a Three-legged Flying Dragon.”

While he spoke, he shook his head, which made it sound like he had eaten a Three-legged Flying Dragon’s liver before.

Bai Jiacao pouted. She was about to say “Everyone understands that logic, but can you actually pick out all the impurities?”, she suddenly froze.

Meng Chao took two embroidery needles in each hand, and the four tips turned into shadows that created a silver blur.

Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh.

The tips of the needles pierced into the pork liver like a storm falling on the ground.

Meng Chao’s movements were as quick as lightning, but his strength was light, like that of dragonflies tapping against water. It was perfect.

He did not destroy the overall structure of the pork liver nor burst any blood vessel or anadesma.

Instead, he peeled off the anadesma, which was as thin as a cicada’s wing. He then embedded the needles into the liver’s blood vessels and peeled them off as well.

The removed pieces did not look like waste in a kitchen. Instead, they looked like an artistic piece made with such great skill that it looked better than anything produced by nature.

“This is...”

Bai Jiacao and Bai Suxin were both dumbfounded.

They did not think that Meng Chao’s hands would move so quickly and that he would have such a clear understanding toward the layout of the anadesma and alignment of the blood vessels in the liver of Demonic Halberd Pigs.

Meng Chao was happy.

‘Looks like I wasn’t completely useless in my previous life. As my contribution points increase, my memories from my previous life will also subtly become one with my body. I’ll definitely help everyone live a better life this time.”

Under his mother and younger sister’s astonished gazes, he only took half a minute to smoothly stir-fry a plate of Demonic Halberd Pork liver.

“Taste it.”

Meng Chao looked at his younger sister with a confident expression. There was a smile on his face.

Bai Jiacao looked at the Demonic Halberd Pork liver that looked good and smelled good. While harboring some doubts in her mind, she used a toothpick to pick up a piece and put it in her mouth.

“Gah!”

She burned her tongue.

But she could not bear to spit it out. Her face turned red.

Still, her eyes could speak, and shock as well as admiration were written in them.

With great difficulty, she swallowed the fresh and tender Demonic Halberd Pork liver and stuck out her tongue. There were tears in her eyes while she stuttered, “T-Tastes good!”

The future Dark Witch was subjugated by her older brother’s stir-fried Demonic Halberd Pork liver.

Just as she swung her toothpick and was about to get another piece, familiar footsteps rang outside the door.

The (still uncorrupted) Dark Witch hesitated for a moment before she picked up a large piece of Demonic Halberd Pork liver at the speed of lightning and stuffed the plate into her mother’s hands. She skipped over to open the door.

She had her mouth stuffed full of meat while she mumbled, “Dad, ‘s bad! Your zon’s pozzezzed!”

Meng Yishan dragged his feet, which were as heavy as lead, back into his home. He was instantly enveloped by the warm atmosphere in the apartment, and his fatigue disappeared.

But he felt that his family members were a little strange today.

It was especially so for his son, whose eyes were red-rimmed. Even so, he did not look like he was possessed. As for his wife, she looked like she just finished watching the ancient Korean dramas from Earth.

He did not understand what was going on, but he still smiled. “A’chao, what’s wrong?”

His smile was like a bullet that made Meng Chao crumble.

In his memories, his father was a mighty and indomitable man.

It was only after being reborn that Meng Chao noticed that his father’s temples had started graying a long time ago. His thick shoulders had started slumping, and his back was slightly hunched as well.

The tough man who could work for three days and three nights straight and could crush a monster’s skull with one hit from his hammer was quietly becoming old.

‘Why have I never noticed that coming back home was so difficult for my dad?’

Meng Chao forced himself to smile. “It’s nothing. Dad, I’m home. You can rest for a while,” he said softly but firmly.

“Dad, I’m not lying. Big Brother is really possessed. He made this stir-fry Demonic Halberd Pork liver, and he did it like magic!”

Bai Jiacao jumped up and hugged her father’s neck.

“Really?” Meng Yishan sized up his son with a serious look.

He was fine with the fact that his son knew how to cook, but he felt that his son’s expression had become different.

After he was injured last year and could no longer cultivate, he became dispirited and depressed. He tended to force himself to appear nonchalant, but all of that was gone now.

His son was standing up straight once again.

“Then I’ll have to drink two cups!” The middle-aged man smiled happily.

There were three dishes, one bowl of soup, and one plate of snacks on the tiny dining table.

Aside from the stir-fried Demonic Halberd Pork liver, there was also a plate of spicy Twin-tailed Scorpion, along with some stir-fried vegetables. The soup was tomato lizard egg soup, and there was also a plate of spring rolls.

It was all common home-cooked food. The dishes could not be considered to be delicacies or very tasty, but they were unique and could not be exchanged with money.

Meng Chao listened to his sister talk about the fun things that happened in middle school, watched his father remove his coat with a gratified expression, and listened to his mother praise him.

He might not have drunk any wine, but he felt warm all over, like he was tipsy.

Joy overflowed in the family, and everyone ate two more bowls of rice more than usual. As for Meng Chao, he ate five bowls extra, and his tummy was round from all the eating.

After dinner, Bai Jiacao volunteered to wash the plates.

Meng Yishan turned on the television.

Monsters would invade their city that night, so all the channels were full of programs broadcasting the war preparations live.

“Latest news: Tonight, at 18:55, the army’s War Crab Commandos entered the battlefield to the north of the city.”

The screen showed six-legged war machines that looked like steel war crabs.

They had reactive armor installed. Their slightly clunky shells were engraved with a large amount of profound and complicated runes.

The gaps in the armor were embedded with dark-red crystals. Spirit energy resembling flames traveled along the lines of the runes and intersected with each other. They went to the end of the limbs of the war machines.

Spirit gas gushed out continuously, which made the bionics crawling war trucks into creations that were a combination of technologies from the era of steam and futuristic science. They looked strange and powerful.

“All citizens of Ninth Sand Region have prepared for war. All regions have been fortified. The underground battle fortresses have risen. Superhumans are now on guard in the air!”

In the screen, all of Ninth Sand Region had their weapons drawn and were full of murderous intention.

Most of the citizens in the region had sealed up their doors and windows. Guns and anti-aircraft missile spots filled the ground. There were also soldiers with guns patrolling the area.

Hundreds of powerful fighters with astonishing presences levitated in the air.

Their weapons pulsed and shone with a sharp light which reflected on the guns and cannons of the soldiers on the ground.

“June and July are the breeding season of Black Beetle and a dozen other monsters with outer shells. Fog has descended on us three times, and the main attacking force invading our city has always been made up of shell-type monsters. When fighting against these monsters, we suggest that citizens use armor-piercing shells more often.

“Here, we invite our monster specialist, Professor Ke Zhendong of Dragon City University’s department of biology to give a detailed explanation of the habits of shell-type monsters and their weaknesses. Hello, Professor Ke.”

“Hello, Miss Emcee. Greetings, everyone.”

The emcee and the monster specialist started speaking with fervor.

“The Grade Six superhumans are moving!

“Master Luo Wu, who’s known as Soul Breaking Saber, is a mighty fighter ranked at the seventeenth place on the annual Hunting Rank. He’s currently leaving Luo Mansion to head to the place where Steel Dragon Organization has stationed itself!

“Everyone knows that Grade Six superhumans have already reached the unbelievable stage of spirit energy turning into armor. Spirit gas can gush out of their bodies to turn into sturdy and unbreakable spirit energy armor. They can even spread it dozens of meters around them to strengthen an entire battle unit so that the battle power of people within dozens of meters of them would increase by leaps and bounds!

“Every Grade Six superhuman fully deserves to be called a mighty fighter and a god of war!

“I wonder how many monsters Master Luo Wu will kill today. Will he be able to kill a nightmarish beast that is ranked Grade Four or above?

“Heavenly Eye Livebroadcast Station is currently broadcasting Master Luo Wu’s fight live so that you will not miss even a single second of his fight. You can personally witness the straightforward, shocking, and brutal clash between a mighty fighter and a nightmare!”

On the television, a bald, built man with the tattoo of a tiger’s skeleton on his head jumped into the air from a mansion. He had two nine-ringed broadswords with ghost heads at the handle on his back in an ‘X’.

Complicated spirit marks rose on his skin and intersected continuously.

They shone and gradually left his body to surround him. They turned into an energy armor that could change at will.

“Ah...”

Bai Jiacao was midway through washing a plate when she was attracted by the picture on the television. She stared at it fixedly.

But she was not staring at the Grade Six Superhuman. She was staring at the mansion he left.

“That’s Dragon City No.1, where Master Luo Wu is staying.” Bai Jiacao sighed. “I heard that even the smallest houses in Dragon City No.1 are two hundred square meters in size. The decor is as beautiful as that of a palace, unlike in our small and smelly region. Everyone uses the purest, high-grade spirit gas delivered to them in pipes, and their smell is sweet.

“Also, their property management companies have their own main battle tanks. Most of the people staying in the region are superhumans. Even if they run into nightmarish beasts, they don’t have to be afraid.”

She stopped talking for a moment before she shook her head.

Why did she mention those things? Even a toilet in Dragon City No.1 would be more expensive than an apartment in Blessed Heavenly Garden.

The girl pouted and looked away to continue washing plates.

A thought came to Meng Chao’s mind.

‘Grade Six superhumans? Master Luo Wu? Dragon City No.1?’

He had returned from the nightmare, so he could become a superhuman too.

‘Dad, soon, I will ensure that you won’t have to work so hard anymore. You won’t need to be troubled about our livelihood, and you would be able to do whatever you want.

‘Mom, your legs are impaired, and they often hurt when it rains or when the fog comes, but as long as you substitute your joints with bionics alloyed joints, most of your life will change. I’ll definitely earn that money this year.

‘Sis, you want to stay in Dragon City No.1? I want to as well. Don’t be impatient, just wait until I get into college...’