Raising the Lowest-Ranked Adventurer, the Heroic Girl – Wasn’t I Just a Substitute Old Man?

Raising the Lowest-Ranked Adventurer, the Heroic Girl – Wasn’t I Just a Substitute Old Man?

Volume 2  Chapter 22   Shattered daily routine

“…Ah… hey…”

Upon arriving at the bus stop, it seemed like the bus would come in about ten minutes.

However, while I was casually leaning against the nearby fence and taking out a candy to rest until the bus arrived, Asada called out to me in a strange tone. What’s up?

“By the way, that Nina isn’t your girlfriend, right?”

The moment I was asked that, I dropped the candy I had taken out.

I didn’t understand why she would ask such a thing, but perhaps their strange behavior was because they wanted to know.

If she were asking about that person, it wouldn’t be surprising for them to act strangely.

“…Ah. What’s it to you?”

I tried to maintain a calm demeanor as I picked up the dropped candy.

“Well, it’s not like it matters, but… why?”

Even if she ask why…

Until just recently, I hadn’t really “looked” at that person properly.

Nina was a bothersome person who stuck around, never knowing when things could turn dangerous.

My feelings towards Nina were nothing more than that. Even I can admit it’s pretty pathetic.

So I never saw Nina as a romantic interest.

And that hasn’t changed even now, even though I’ve started to see her as a “girl.”

But it doesn’t mean I see her as a potential partner.

“Nina thinks that way because she doesn’t have anyone else who treats her decently. It’s not like she genuinely like me from the bottom of her heart. It’s more like a substitute father figure.”

Perhaps the reason Nina care about me is that I’m the only one who has ever given her   a lecture.

She does show me affection, but it’s not the kind of romantic love. It’s more like a bond of fondness.

Maybe it’s more like a brother or a father figure since the distance is too far to be called a brother?

…But that’s beside the point. Before considering anything about Nina, I have no intention of getting into a romantic relationship.

Because, for me, “that person” is—

“I may not think that way, but… W-well, then, what if there’s a girl who genuinely, r-really likes you?”

—Sigh, no good. I’ve already thought about this so many times.

It’s not good for me to keep being trapped by “that person.”

“Well, um…”

But even though I know that, it’s not something I can easily come to terms with.

I guess I won’t be able to change my thoughts for a while.

It’s not like I can do anything about it on my own, especially since it’s not something I can resolve through my own efforts. I guess there’s no helping it.

…No, maybe that’s just an excuse for running away.

Still, I can’t imagine being in a romantic relationship for a while. I don’t want to think about it.

“By the way, why don’t you have a girlfriend? You’re not, um, a bad person, and you’re reasonably good-looking… I don’t think there’s any reason why you can’t find a girlfriend…”

…What’s with this sudden persistence today?

For me, discussions about romantic relationships are something I’d rather avoid.

If it’s just lightly mentioned in casual conversation, I can tolerate it to some extent.

But when someone explicitly tells me to get a girlfriend or get married, or asks if I’m seeing anyone, it’s quite difficult.

It’s like… unwanted images flashing in my mind, and I don’t know who they’re directed at… but it irritates me intensely.

“…Well, there are various reasons.”

I shrugged my shoulders as usual and tried to brush it off, but today felt different for some reason.

“What kind of reasons? Is it possible that you can’t forget about your ex-girlfriend or something?”

…

The moment I heard those words, I could feel my body tense up.

Various scenes vividly flowed through my mind, and an indescribable discomfort swirled in my chest.

As a result, my heart was pounding strongly and rapidly, and my clenched fist was experiencing pain, yet I couldn’t loosen it.

“U-Um, Igami-san?”

Miyano called out to me with a concerned expression.

But even though I was aware of that fact in my head, I couldn’t respond to it.

Stop. Don’t ask. Why would you bring up such a thing?

Please… don’t ask any further.

But my feelings were not conveyed, and Asada continued to speak at a faster pace than usual.

“It’s been years since then, right? It’s about time you forgot about it and find someone else—”

Thunk! I heard the sound of something hard being struck.

No, not just heard it… Did I do it?

Apparently, unconsciously, I had been punch the railing I was leaning on.

“Shut up.”

“Huh…?”

“Why do I have to talk about this with you all? Huh? Forget about it? I already know that myself.”

That’s right. I know I should forget. I’ve thought about it countless times. I’ve tried to convince myself.

That person is no longer here. I shouldn’t be trapped by that person. I should forget.

But I can’t. No matter what, I can’t forget “that person”!

“…There are plenty of things that I don’t want to be asked about.”

I never intended to say that. Even the rational part of my mind knows it’s not good.

But still, once my mouth starts moving, it doesn’t stop.

“For example, Abe, the nature of magic and her own personality have some similarities, but you, despite using fire, have a rather quiet personality, don’t you? Is it because you’re suppressing your true nature? What’s the reason for that? Have you told them why you’re killing yourself? Have you shared the reason with them?”

Ah, no. Don’t say it. Don’t say anything more.

“Kitahara’s healing power manifested because of her aversion to conflict. But is that really all? Aren’t there other emotions within you?”

I don’t want to expose their hearts or destroy the team.

“Even Miyano, what are you hiding in your heart? Since meeting Nina, sometimes you’ve shown a ‘not quite yourself’ demeanor. What are you thinking?”

That’s why it’s no good. I shouldn’t say this.

“Hey, Asada. Did you notice even one thing I said just now? Did you hear me out? Everyone has things they don’t want to be asked about, things they don’t want to be known. Don’t assume that everyone can go through life as carefree and thoughtless as you.”

But even so, I couldn’t stop my mouth from moving, and I said it all the way to the end.

“…Damn it. No, that’s not it… Sorry, I said something strange.”

Seeing the girls in front of me wide-eyed, trembling, and with furrowed brows, I finally managed to stop myself.

But it’s too late.

Looking at Asada and the others again, it’s clear that their expressions are different from usual.

“But it’s true that there are things I don’t want to be asked about. So don’t ask any further. In just one more month, this school year will be over. After that, I’ll leave the team. Instead of getting into a strange and awkward situation, why don’t we just continue as we have until now?”

“…”

I spoke with a smile that I knew looked forced, to show that I was already fine, but none of the four responded. In fact, there was no reaction at all.

Well, I guess that’s to be expected.

“I won’t be going on any adventures during the exams, right? I’ll participate on the final day of the exams, but until then, it’s better if we don’t meet. It’s for the sake of both of us.”

Originally, there were no dungeon expeditions or training planned during the exams. There shouldn’t be any problems.

“Good luck with your exams.”

With just those words, I started walking towards the direction of my own home, without boarding the bus.

“Damn it… Why did I say something like that? They didn’t mean any harm with their questions. I don’t want to destroy that team.”

After walking away from Asada and the others for a while, I clenched my fist as I recalled my words and actions.

When I looked back, I had walked quite a distance, and Asada and the others were no longer in sight.

“She’s right, I can’t forget about my ex-girlfriend… Yeah, that’s true. I still can’t forget about her.”

Every time the topic of my lover comes up, her face floats into my mind.

But I should already forget about my deceased lover.

“I know I need to move on and let go. It’s been almost eight years. It’s about time to forget.”

I muttered to myself, trying to convince myself, but my heart remained unsettled, swirling with emotions.

Then, I took a deep breath, took out my phone, and made a call.

“…Hey, sorry. Are you free right now? Well, I was thinking of grabbing a drink or something. It’s almost dinner time, and it’s sudden, so if you can’t, it’s fine… Huh? You’re okay with it? Oh, great… Yeah. Let’s meet at the station. There aren’t many decent bars around there anyway. Oh, sorry about that.”

After a brief conversation, I ended the call and opened the saved image of my ex-girlfriend.

However, I quickly returned to the home screen, turned off the phone, and put it in my pocket. Then, I started walking towards the meeting place.