Rebirth As a Fatuous and Self-indulgent Ruler

434. The Last Life and This Life

During the day, Liu Suifeng made all the pills that Madam Shi needed.

As he was a doctor instead of a midwife, he was not able to help when Madam Shi gave birth even if he was around.

Besides, it is safer to leave it to the midwife who specialized in delivering babies in the palace.

Long Xiaoyuan and Shi Qingzhou made the arrangement accordingly.

Therefore, Liu Suifeng just needed to prepare what was required of him.

He gave the pills to Madam Shi and asked her to trust them to her confidant. She needed to keep them in a safe place.

He also gave her some antidote pills, which were kept in the hands of the two female Shadow Guardians that Long Xiaoyuan assigned, as well as the medicine to be taken by Madam Shi.

After everything was arranged, Liu Suifeng left.

The night before they set off, Long Xiaoyuan took Shi Qingzhou’s hand and had dinner with their son.

He thought that if they had ill luck, they might not be able to return. In that case, they would not be able to see this little guy again.

Most importantly, the heavy burden would be placed on such a toddler who was not able to articulate yet.

Thinking of this, Long Xiaoyuan felt sorry for the child.

Therefore, during dinner Long Xiaoyuan kept getting food for the child and asking him to eat more.

The child was very happy at first, but later on, he was overwhelmed.

Shi Qingzhou stopped Long Xiaoyuan. “The child is still young. You’ve got him too much food.”

Long Xiaoyuan patted his forehead and stopped.

After dinner, Long Xiaoyuan accompanied his son in the yard, playing with toys and games.

When it was time for the child to go to sleep and he was yawning, Long Xiaoyuan asked the maids to take him to bed.

After the child left, Long Xiaoyuan looked up at the bright moon in the sky and couldn’t help saying, “Children are supposed to be happy and carefree. We are not demanding with Huan Huan, but he is much more mature than the children his age.”

Shi Qingzhou paused and nodded. “He has to since he is in the royal family.”

Long Xiaoyuan pursed his lips and held Shi Qingzhou’s hand. “Qingzhou, do you think if it is his luck or misfortune to be in the royal family?”

Shi Qingzhou said lightly, “Do you think only royal family members have the vexations? Even in ordinary families, it is impossible to be happy every day.” Long Xiaoyuan paused. He was surprised by Qingzhou’s profound and wise words.

Long Xiaoyuan paused. “Qingzhou, you…”

His reaction made Shi Qingzhou misunderstand, who thought that Long Xiaoyuan disagreed with him. When Shi Qingzhou wanted to say something, Long Xiaoyuan laughed.

“Qingzhou, you’re right! I’m being foolish.”

Shi Qingzhou smiled.

Long Xiaoyuan tilted his neck and rested his head on Shi Qingzhou’s shoulder.

Shi Qingzhou looked at him. “What’s wrong? Are you tired?”

Long Xiaoyuan shook his head. “No. I’m just thinking about how long the peaceful days can last.”

Shi Qingzhou looked at him. “What’s wrong?”

Long Xiaoyuan pouted. “Forget it. Let’s go back to sleep.”

Shi Qingzhou smiled. “If you change your mind now and don’t want to go, I will definitely support you.”

Long Xiaoyuan instantly rolled his eyes. “Impossible. I’ve arranged everything. You’re telling me not to go?”

Shi Qingzhou said lightly, “That’s because you look sad.” Long Xiaoyuan pondered for a moment and then gave a smile. “Qingzhou, I am just being sentimental.”

Shi Qingzhou raised an eyebrow and said meaningfully. “Sentimental? This word…”

“Qingzhou, it was something that I learnt from my dream.”

Shi Qingzhou nodded and said lightly. “Oh, your dream.”

Long Xiaoyuan felt a little guilty.

Shi Qingzhou suddenly lowered his head and shook off Long Xiaoyuan’s hand.

“Qingzhou?” Long Xiaoyuan looked at him in confusion.

Shi Qingzhou didn’t look at him, suddenly turning to left.

Long Xiaoyuan paused and then chased him, “Qingzhou, wait for me. We are not in a hurry to go back.”

Shi Qingzhou did not stop, his back stiff and lonely.

Long Xiaoyuan finally realized that something was wrong.

He had no time to think about it, just instinctively running after Shi Qingzhou.

He finally got to their room and closed the door, quickly grabbing Shi Qingzhou’s arm.

“Qingzhou? What’s wrong? Are you angry?”

Shi Qingzhou didn’t say anything.

Long Xiaoyuan said helplessly. “Qingzhou, can you tell me why you’re angry? Please tell me. ”

Shi Qingzhou remained silent.

Long Xiaoyuan said helplessly, “Qingzhou, if you don’t say anything, I won’t know why you’re angry. Tell me, and I’ll change.”

Seeing Long Xiaoyuan get anxious, Shi Qingzhou said slowly, “You are not him, are you?”

Long Xiaoyuan paused, not knowing what Shi Qingzhou was talking about, but he soon understood.

“Qingzhou.”

Shi Qingzhou looked at Long Xiaoyuan and stressed every word he said. “You’re not him. I don’t know where you come from. It’s his body, but the soul isn’t. I can distinguish this clearly. What I don’t understand is why you have all his memories. What confuses me more is why you want to be involved with me? Is it because of sympathy? Or you only like men?”

Long Xiaoyuan widened his eyes. “Impossible! Qingzhou, it’s not because I like men. The person I like is you, and you happen to be a man. That’s it. This is a big difference, okay? I have no feelings for Liu Suifeng and Ouyang Chuan, or any other outstanding men.”

Long Xiaoyuan anxiously defended himself.

Shi Qingzhou paused and continued, “Why are you emotionally entangled with me?” Shi Qingzhou’s voice was soft, but there was accusation in his tone.

Long Xiaoyuan hesitated.

Shi Qingzhou narrowed his eyes.

“Long Xiaoyuan, you aren’t him.”

Long Xiaoyuan opened his mouth and said helplessly. “You can’t say that…”

Shi Qingzhou’s eyes suddenly turned cold. “You aren’t him at all. How long are you going to fool me?” Shi Qingzhou suddenly smiled, but his eyes were gloomy. “So, you should remember how many times I had sex with him… Long Xiaoyuan, don’t you mind?”

Long Xiaoyuan shouted loudly. “Why should I mind? I feel sorry for you. Besides, that was me!”

Shi Qingzhou didn’t believe him at all. “It’s also you? Why? The souls are different, so you are two different men.”

Long Xiaoyuan said helplessly, “Qingzhou, do you have to view it that way?”

“I’m speaking the truth.” Shi Qingzhou said coldly.

Long Xiaoyuan’s mouth twitched slightly. “Qingzhou, it’s not like this. Things are much more complicated than you think.”

“Oh, is that so?” Shi Qingzhou said impassively, “How complicated is it?”

Long Xiaoyuan smiled bitterly. “Qingzhou, it’s really complicated. Do you want to know? I can tell you.”

Shi Qingzhou looked at Long Xiaoyuan coldly.

Long Xiaoyuan said slowly, “I always think that person is me,, but he is an incomplete part of me.”

Shi Qingzhou frowned. “What do you mean by that?”

Long Xiaoyuan said softly. “I am indeed another soul, but it can be said that my soul and his soul have become one. However, I feel that my soul and his soul were incomplete before.”

“I didn’t feel sad or happy in my world because I was sick.”

“I used to think so, but later on, I felt that it was because of my incomplete soul rather than the disease. It was hard for my family to excite my feelings, even though I felt guilty for them. However, it was just guilt. They had sacrificed a lot for me because of my illness.”

“Do you want to know what disease I suffered in my world? Qingzhou, don’t rush. I’ll tell you everything. In my world, I had a heart disease.”

“Qingzhou, I’ve been destined to be incomplete since the day I was born. My heart had a problem, so I couldn’t feel sad or happy. I couldn’t even be emotional. Even heart transplantation couldn’t solve my problem.”

“The doctor concluded that I would die before eighteen years old, but I lived for extra eight years.”

“Do you know that I looked exactly the same in my world? Listen up, exactly the same.”

“Qingzhou, if we had been two different men, why would we look identical since we are not twins. Besides, we are from two different worlds. Do you think this can be explained by fate or coincidence? Anyway, I do not believe it…”

“As for my other part in this world, you see, he was promiscuous and never refused anybody. Most importantly, he was very cruel. Most of the time he looked inhuman. Is that normal?”

“Although he was the Emperor, he was enthroned easily. He grew up spoiled. How could he be so cruel?”

“Therefore, I think that we are actually the same person, but for some reason, our souls are missing a part, which made it difficult for me to have any emotions, and made him incomparably cruel.”

“Since we’re the same man, I’ll just pretend that he was the past and I’m the present.”

“No, it’s not just pretending. It’s the truth. Otherwise, how to explain my arrival here? How to explain why our souls perfectly merged?

“Qingzhou, do you think so? Therefore when you say that I’m not him, I will never admit that. Even if you hated me in the past, I wouldn’t admit it.”

“Because…” Long Xiaoyuan slowly pulled Shi Qingzhou into his arms. “Whether it’s good or bad, I gave it to you. There is only me. Qingzhou, you are mine. Regardless of the past life or this life, you are mine. You’re mine only.”

After he spoke, Long Xiaoyuan kissed Shi Qingzhou fiercely.

This time, although Shi Qingzhou remained stiff, he didn’t refuse.

Long Xiaoyuan’s words shocked him too much.

The past life and this life. The incomplete souls. The same face. This man was that man…

Shi Qingzhou closed his eyes and felt relieved.

Long Xiaoyuan has always been very good to him, but it was difficult to figure out why, which made him uneasy.

Most importantly, he always thought that Long Xiaoyuan was not the one who hurt him.

He liked the new Long Xiaoyuan.

However, the man in the past had raped him a few times.

That was humiliated intimacy. He was afraid that Long Xiaoyuan would mind that and thought that he was dirty.

This was why he had never dared to think about it, and he was reluctant to think about it. He even felt it was foolish to think about it.

Because he couldn’t change the past.

However, he minded it a lot because he couldn’t change it.

Shi Qingzhou didn’t dare to think if he could take it when Long Xiaoyuan thought he was dirty one day.

Moreover, Long Xiaoyuan was clearly not that man, but he never told him. Did he not trust him? Or did he pity him?

If there was only sympathy, he didn’t want such feelings!

His pride and dignity did not allow him to have it.

So this time when Long Xiaoyuan said something he couldn’t understand, he exploded.

The agitation that had been building up exploded.

Instead of fooling each other for the rest of their lives, it was better to lay the cards on the table.

He, Shi Qingzhou, was ruthless to others and to himself.

If their love was just a mirage, he would rather discard it!

However, he didn’t expect to hear such incredible things.

The past life and this life.

The past life and this life!

Shi Qingzhou closed his eyes and allowed Long Xiaoyuan to kiss him.

Long Xiaoyuan naturally felt his change, so he instantly deepened the kiss.

However, he didn’t continue the kiss.

After giving Shi Qingzhou a passionate kiss, Long Xiaoyuan stopped and looked at him. “Qingzhou, as for your question. Why do I get emotionally entangled with you? That’s because in my world, there was actually no emperor. It was a place where the people ruled. Besides, in the dramas, many loyal generals were killed and ruined by stupid emperors. In the end, the emperors were unable to keep their thrones. In our dramas, there were too many examples like this.”

“After my soul merged with his soul, I immediately realized that if I continued like this, my dynasty would probably be finished. My uncles were not loyal to me, while the son of the loyal general, Shi Qingshan, was ruined by me. I was making a big mistake.”

“The last and most important point. Do you know what love at first sight is? I don’t care if you believe it or not. I’m going to tell you that I’m emotionally entangled with you because of the love at first sight. I didn’t understand the other half of me was so stupid in the past. You are such a stunning beauty, but he abused you. However, he fell in love with those hypocritical women. Wasn’t he an idiot?”

“I couldn’t stand such a stupid self, so Qingzhou, I wanted to get along with you. You know that I tried to please you. You didn’t believe me at first, and you were very alert. I realized from my memory and my previous mind that you weren’t a person who would be manipulated by fate. I noticed that some of the Shadow Guardians beside me might work for you. This made me happier.”

“That’s right, Qingzhou, you didn’t hear me wrong. I was really happy. I said just now that there was no emperor in my world, and the people were in charge of it, so I was not happy at all that I became an emperor here. I knew it takes a lot to be an emperor. It is not a matter of capability. I just don’t want to get in troubles.”

“I happened to find that you are ambitious. Besides, I was attracted to your face at a glance. In my memory, I hurt you a lot. I did not sympathize with you, but I felt angry, angry at the other half of me in the past. Of course, I pitied you. Under such circumstances, I thought that I had to get along with you. In that case, it doesn’t matter even if you want to be the Emperor. Anyway, I don’t care to be the Emperor at all. I even have a headache dealing with the government affairs.”

Long Xiaoyuan looked at Shi Qingzhou’s eyes and said sincerely.

Therefore, Shi Qingzhou could see through his sincerity at a glance.

Because of this, Shi Qingzhou didn’t know what to say.

A moment later, he said, “The people were in charge?”

Long Xiaoyuan smiled. “Yes. Aren’t you also aware of the importance of the people’s support?”

Shi Qingzhou fell silent.

Long Xiaoyuan kissed his chin. “Qingzhou, later on, the more I got to know you, the more I couldn’t control myself. But when I saw that you doubted me, I was sad, so I told you about the pipe dream, and told you that I suddenly came round. In fact, I really thought that I just suddenly came round. I am him, and he is me, Qingzhou, we are one. Therefore, I wasn’t jealous of the other part of me in the past. Instead, I thanked him for his cruelty. If he hadn’t been cruel, you would have become a general and married a woman to have a son. In that case, what should I do? Marrying you was probably the most correct thing he’d ever done!”

“So, Qingzhou, even if you’re reluctant, I will never let you go!”

Shi Qingzhou rolled his eyes. “You think too much. I never thought of leaving.”

“That’s great!” Long Xiaoyuan immediately said. He hugged Shi Qingzhou and let out a sign of relief.

‘Qingzhou, please forgive me for concealing something.

I don’t want you to know that in my world, you are fictional and don’t exist at all. This place that we’ve stayed for so long is false.

How could this be false? It is so real.

Besides, now that I’m here, how could I let it be a false place? Even if it’s false, I will turn it into a real world!

Qingzhou, I won’t let you know that you killed me. How can I let you bear such a sin?

Even if you haven’t done anything now, I won’t let you know.

I won’t let you know that you married many women after killing me, but you were never happy. I won’t tell you something I feel so sad and jealous.

I am going to live with this secret until I die.’

With that thought, Long Xiaoyuan let go of Shi Qingzhou, but there was no trace of guilt in his eyes.

Anyway, his love for Shi Qingzhou was real.

Anyway, the past life and this life were real.

Anyway, their world was real. It was real that they were together. Why would he feel guilty?

Long Xiaoyuan grabbed Shi Qingzhou’s hand without guilt and brought him to the bed.

“Qingzhou, it’s late. Let’s go to sleep.”

Long Xiaoyuan’s eyes flashed with a strong desire for Shi Qingzhou.

Shi Qingzhou did not refuse. Instead, he wrapped Long Xiaoyuan’s neck.

Long Xiaoyuan was instantly excited, hurriedly taking him in bed.