Regressor Instruction Manual

Chapter 1346. Return (6)

“...”

“...”

Before I could even take the hambier skewer, I heard Carlton and Yoojin’s voices from a distance.

“Big Boy! If you keep handing things out for free like that, we won’t have anything left!” Carlton shouted.

“Ugh, you idiot. You said a business becomes successful when it’s run by selfish people,” Yoojin said.

“J-just stay quiet for a second! Carlton! Yoojin! It’s just some leftovers anyway... and this kid has been here for hours!” Big Boy argued.

“What? Because of the smell of your tasteless hambier skewers? I’d sooner believe the kid is a pickpocket than that,” Carlton replied.

I could see them arguing over something pointless. However, it seemed like the appearance of a kid had piqued everyone's curiosity, as Yoojin and Carlton snuck closer after Big Boy.

I had grown a little since then, but I still looked like a little kid in their eyes.

“You scared him, Big Boy,” Carlton said.

“Huh?”

“A huge guy like you stomping over must be scary. Move aside,” Carlton said.

“Didn’t you just tell me not to hand things out for free?” Big Boy argued.

After pushing Big Boy aside, Carlton picked up the hambier skewer. His appearance wasn’t exactly friendly to kids either, but he probably thought he was better than Big Boy.

“You’re no different yourself!” Big Boy shouted.

If I were to stay quiet, things would only become noisier, so I casually accepted the skewer.

Moments later, they started arguing again right in front of me.

“Look at this, Big Boy. You idiot,” Carlton said.

“No... that’s not...” Big Boy mumbled.

“Go take a look in the mirror. You think this kid wouldn’t get scared? Hurry and eat, kid. No, actually, why don’t you give us a review while you’re at it? Let’s see just how good the recipe Big Boy paid a fortune to learn really is, huh?” Carlton suggested.

“S-stop it already, Carlton! I said I was sorry!” Big Boy yelled out.

“And you think just saying sorry is enough? Huh? Do you realize how much—”

“T-there’s nothing wrong with the recipe! The problem is the ingredients. The meat tastes bad because you’re trying to cut costs by buying cheap stuff,” Big Boy cut him off.

“If we don’t cut costs here, we’ll all starve to death. And besides... since when do hambiers even have a quality rating?” Carlton argued.

“...”

“So what I’m saying is we’ll let this kid taste it first. If it tastes good, he’ll be honest about it and say that it's good. And if not, at least we’ll know if there’s any potential... right? Hey, kid. Instead of just giving it to you for free, let’s make a deal. You tell us how bad the meat tastes. That’s fair, isn’t it? Huh?” Carlton asked.

“...”

“...”

It felt like ignoring them any longer would be a bad idea, so I nodded.

“See? That’s a trade, you idiot. Totally different from just handing things out for free,” Carlton said.

‘Damn it. I don’t even want to eat this.’

Looking at their grimy hands made me even more reluctant to hold the skewer. When I thought of Ji-Hye noona, who was probably watching from somewhere, I couldn’t just sit still.

If she had gone so far as to set up a pathetic trap like this just to make me meet these guys, then she was definitely watching. She obviously wanted to see how I would react.

From my perspective, the right thing to do was to give her the reaction she wanted.

Naturally, I took a small bite of the hambier meat. The meat was so tough that I had to strain my jaw just to tear off a mouthful I could chew.

The sauce, overloaded with cheap spices, was utterly revolting, and the distinct smell of the hambier meat itself only made it worse.

The urge to spit it out immediately surged to the top of my head, but I just kept on chewing as if I were brainwashed. My taste buds and sense of smell had already been trained, after all.

‘These bastards really ought to shut this business down.’

I had no idea where or how they learned their so-called recipe, but this was, without a doubt, the worst hambier I had ever eaten. It was so bad that even the piggy porridge Templar Gen often brought for me was better.

“Well? How is it?” Carlton asked.

“So, kid? How’s the taste?” Big Boy asked as well.

“I-is it good?” Yoojin asked.

‘Damn it. You guys already know better than anyone. Trying to sell garbage like this should be a crime.’

'Don’t expect anything, all right?'

“...”

“...”

“Honestly, it’s not bad, right? Right? It’s good, isn’t it? Yeah?” Big Boy asked.

“Oh? Oh? He’s taking another bite. Carlton, did you see that?” Yoojin pointed at me.

“Really... really?” Carlton asked.

'Don’t get your hopes up, you bastards.'

Their faces, brimming with anticipation, came into view. I wanted nothing more than to shatter their expectations, but of course, I couldn’t do that.

At this point, I genuinely wanted to give them the advice to throw away the skewers and shut the business down. However, the fact that Ji-Hye noona was surely watching me from somewhere made it impossible for me to do that.

‘This is an important scene.’

A reunion with the losers who had sacrificed themselves for me in the first life. And I was here, eating the very food that carried a lot of memories of us together. It was like a cheap cooking drama, but the timing was so perfectly bittersweet that it could only squeeze tears out of me.

This was the sort of thing that would satisfy Ji-Hye noona and finally make her stop this childish game. As I held onto that emotion, tears welled up and slipped out of my eyes.

“Wh-what the... W-why are you crying?” Carltong asked.

I hung my head low and let my shoulders tremble slightly.

“Wh-why’s the kid crying, Carlton? Huh? What’s going on? What is this?” Big Boy asked.

“M-maybe he’s crying because your hambier is awful,” Carlton said.

“D-don’t cry, kid. Okay? Don’t cry,” Yoojin tried comforting me.

“...”

“H-how are you going to fix this, Big Boy?! Damn it!” Carlton shouted.

“Why are you yelling at me? What did I do wrong?!” Big Boy shouted back.

“You’re the one who made him cry! Damn it!” Carlton argued.

“N-no, I didn’t do anything!” Big Boy yelled.

“You shoved your face at him and acted like a maniac. What were you even expecting, huh?! Of course, the kid will get scared! Just get out of here already!” Yoojin yelled at Big Boy.

‘You’re no better yourself, Yoojin, you bastard.’

“You threatened him by telling him to say the food was good when it wasn't, didn’t you? Just get lost, Big Boy!” Carlton added.

“I-I’m being framed here! I didn’t do anything!” Big Boy stuttered.

At that point, I had no choice but to say something.

“I-it's good,” I said.

“W-what?” Carlton asked.

“...”

“Pfft... heh... hahahaha!” Yoojin laughed.

“Y-you mean it?” Carlton asked.

“Ahahahahahaha! Did you hear that, Carlton?! He said it’s good! Right? Did you hear him say it’s good?” Big Boy asked.

“What, you think I’ve gone deaf? I heard it too, you idiot. But... seriously... k-kid, you can be honest, okay? That big guy won’t hurt you. So you’ve gotta give us an honest review. Got it? Our lives depend on it,” Carlton said.

“It really is... good,” I mumbled.

“No way. Y-you haven’t been starving for days or something, have you?” Carlton asked.

I shook my head.

“T-this makes no sense...” Carlton mumbled.

“What doesn’t make sense, huh? He said it’s good! Since when was it wrong to say something tastes good if it actually does?” Big Boy said.

Carlton turned to Yoojin with a serious face. “Y-Yoojin.”

“Yeah. Carlton...” Yoojin answered.

“Maybe this kid’s been starving for weeks... There's no way," Carlton said.

“What?” Yoojin asked.

“Think about it. Unless your taste bud is ruined or you’ve been starving for days, how could you possibly find this tasty? Hey, kid. Do you have a home? I mean, somewhere to go back to?” Carlton asked.

“W-well, how many starving people are there in Lindel these days... I mean... There are plenty of orphanages. I don’t remember seeing beggars on the streets in a long time... I can’t speak for Heren or other places, but at least in Lindel I haven’t seen any—”

“How can you guarantee that, Big Boy?” Carlton interrupted him.

“H-huh?”

“How can you guarantee that? Lindel has improved, sure, but kids like him are everywhere. They've probably drifted in from another city or country. There might also be some story that's unknown to us. For now, come inside here, kid,” Carlton offered.

“W-what... you want him to come into the shop?” Yoojin asked.

“First, we’ll call the Lindel Child Protection Center and wait,” Carlton explained.

“They’re closed right now,” Big Boy said.

“Then what, you idiot. You gonna leave him like this? We should at least keep him until tomorrow morning, shouldn’t we?” Carlton asked.

“D-does it... work like that?” Big Boy asked.

“Use your head and think for once, Big Boy. Imagine if this kid wanders off and is found dead somewhere or sold at a retainer market. Do you think you’ll be able to sleep comfortably? No, it’s not just that. We might be held responsible.

"Lindel has been paying a lot of attention to kids like this lately. Ever since that uproar at the Blue Guild’s Youth Center, things have only gotten worse... Haven’t you heard about that Republic Commander’s brat who died?

"Even the kids on Stragglers’ Lane will point fingers at us,” Carlton explained.

“Huh? Uh...?”

“You think that’s all? Imagine it gets posted on Benigoa Net. We’d get criticized across the whole world. Picture an article with the headline—'Three retired adventurers from Stragglers’ Lane let a starving kid die.’ Think about that.

"Our lives would be over by then. Thousands would come to throw eggs at our shop. A business already on the brink would surely go bankrupt by then,” Carlton added.

“S-so what do we do?” Big Boy asked.

“What do you mean, what do we do?! You have to take him in for now,” Carlton answered.

“Me? Why do I have to take him in, huh?” Big Boy asked.

“You were the one who gave this kid the hambier skewer first!” Carlton exclaimed.

“Damn it! Why me? I just gave him a skewer because he looked hungry, is that a crime?!” Big Boy argued.

“Tell him to come inside! Damn it! It’s cold out here!” Carlton shouted.

“Cold? What are you talking about? It’s not cold!” Big Boy yelled.

“Kids usually feel the cold more!” Carlton yelled back.

‘These idiots, seriously.’

Even here, they hadn't changed at all. They often acted on impulse, yet they’re strangely warmhearted in the same way.

Carlton’s pretending to be some kind of brainiac, and Big Boy was being swayed by him. Yoojin was still playing the bystander who would toss in a comment from a step back.

“I-I wonder if the Continental Protection Management Committee will pick up,” Big Boy said.

“Stragglers’ Lane? Here? That’s a bad idea,” Carlton said.

“How come?” Big Boy asked.

“Our shop would definitely get nailed for violating food hygiene laws. And that other stuff, too. The committee people are brutal,” Carlton answered.

“Why not ask Alex? He’s from the inspection team,” Big Boy suggested.

“Should we try calling him?” Yoojin asked.

‘He won’t pick up, though.’

Of course, Alex wouldn't pick up their call, and I saw them clutching their heads in frustration. They went on about dumping me at an orphanage or just calling the Continental Protection Management Committee, but nothing they suggested seemed to satisfy them.

Meanwhile, Big Boy was pleased that I enjoyed the hambier skewer, so he walked away to fetch a few more.

Yoojin couldn’t stop patting the hood of my coat.

“Let’s bring him to my place and let him stay the night. We’ll figure the rest out tomorrow,” Carlton suggested.

‘Yeah, I knew this was going to happen.’

These guys had always been like this. They said it would only be for one day, but if I wanted to do so, I could stay at their place and live there.

If I were to put on a suitably pitiful kid act, they'd build up affection for me, and eventually, they'd cling to me.

After taking on an unexpected kid, they'd get teased by the other guys on Stragglers’ Lane and start going crazy about wanting to do things for me. Before long, I’d be working hard as an employee of their shop.

Eventually, I would accidentally end up as the owner of the house.

They would probably even make some big decision, and they would justify it, saying that they wouldn't be able to raise me otherwise. In the end, they'd probably go into debt.

They’d sell the shop and swear they’d give me a good education at the Blue Guild’s Youth Center. They’d always say, “our kid, our kid.”

Every night they'd lay out feasts of hambier meat, pat my head, and hug me. It made me smile. Spending time with those guys in the first life wasn't bad at all. I did miss it, but only in a playful, fun sort of way.

“...”

“...”

‘Is there any point to that?’

“...”

“...”

‘No... even if it did matter, would it even be possible, I mean... in a realistic way?’

I couldn’t help but think about it.