Regressor Instruction Manual

Chapter 1358. Visit (8)

“...”

‘Did this bastard just say that?’

“...”

‘How could he just say that?’

There was no way he could say something like that if he could still remember how we made it this far and how we got this far. I chuckled hollowly out of sheer disbelief, and sure enough, Kim Hyun-Sung slightly turned away to avoid my gaze.

He had to have realized that he had made a mistake.

‘And... he knew.’

He had to have known that the color was fading away.

Otherwise, he wouldn’t have been so calm. The way his mouth fluttered open as if he wanted to say something told me that he couldn't bring himself to speak. It wasn't like he was choosing his words carefully. He just couldn't speak.

“You knew?” I asked.

“I knew a little,” Kim Hyun-Sung answered.

“What do you mean by that? How come you haven't said anything about it? No, more importantly... what do you mean, 'something like that'?” I asked.

“...”

‘It’s a mistake, right?’

“...”

‘You just said it without thinking, right? You got too worked up, didn’t you, Hyun-Sung?’

Whenever emotions were running, things like this could happen.

I could say with certainty that this was one of those times.

He tended to easily lose control, so I was sure that he simply lost control of himself. His attitude didn’t sit right with me, but I could give him the benefit of the doubt.

Everyone was bound to make a mistake. Besides, what he said wasn’t completely unreasonable. There was no way Hyun-Sung would treat the Regressor Instruction Manual like some old relic.

When I looked up at him again as if daring him to repeat what he said, he clenched his fists and said, “I meant... exactly what I said.”

“...”

“...”

That wasn’t all. After spouting that ridiculous line, he turned around and walked away. I stared at his back. This was his way of saying that he didn’t want to continue the conversation any further. Of course, I had no choice but to grab Kim Hyun-Sung by the sleeve.

There was no way I could let the conversation end here.

“...”

“It’s late... you should go back inside,” Kim Hyun-Sung mumbled.

“...”

“It would be better for both of us to talk again after we’ve had some time to organize our thoughts. Let’s give it a bit more time,” Kim Hyun-Sung suggested.

‘Organize our thoughts? Give it time? What kind of bullshit is that?’

“Talk? Do you even have the intention to talk to me? You didn’t say a word about the color fading away, and now, you’re telling me that we’ll talk later? What exactly are we supposed to talk about later?” I questioned.

“Damn it! You’re not the only one who hasn’t been talking, Mr. Ki-Young!” Kim Hyun-Sung shouted.

“What?”

“You haven't said anything about your trauma, or how hard things were for you. You never really told me anything from beginning to end. You’re in no position to accuse me of hiding things! I just thought it was a good sign, that’s all.

That’s why I didn’t say anything. That’s all there is to it,” Kim Hyun-Sung explained.

“How is that a good sign?! Are you out of your mind? Don’t you realize that anyone can see that this is weird?! Or are you really going to do what that quack told you and stay away from me?

"So you think you're getting better because the color of your eye is fading away?” I questioned.

“That’s not what I meant!” Kim Hyun-Sung yelled.

Obviously, we were both more worked up. I knew we needed to cool down, but for some reason, we couldn’t calm down at all.

A rush of feelings I couldn’t quite describe inundated me, and I knew there was no going back.

‘Damn it, this storm-and-stress phase of adolescence.’

I could say for sure that this was a mistake I wouldn’t make under normal circumstances.

“Don’t you realize how ridiculous you sound even to yourself? That’s why I told you to come out here. You're obviously wavering,” I said.

“Mr. Ki-Young, you’re not a doctor,” Kim Hyun-Sung said.

“Even so, I don’t think I ever said anything I can't do. That quack of a doctor isn’t someone you can trust either. I told you, Mr. Hyun-Sung. You trust people too easily...” I told him.

“I don’t know why you’re bringing up the doctor here, but my choice has nothing to do with him. And... do you really think I never hated this? Do you really think that I haven't been missing the guild and home? This is what I chose for myself. If you respect me... then believing me has to be part of that,” Kim Hyun-Sung said.

“Shouldn’t you show me something that will make me believe you? Look back at what you’ve done so far. How can I feel at ease? Has anything you did on your own led to a good result?” I questioned.

“Then what about you, Mr. Ki-Young? What about the things you’ve done? Do you really think those make sense? Do you know how many times you’ve almost died? Why can’t you accept that you’re alive just because you were lucky?” Kim Hyun-Sung argued.

“That’s because I was cleaning up after you! And now you come at me with that?!” I yelled at him.

“I was wrong to think that way. If that's the case, then I was probably better off not getting any help,” Kim Hyun-Sung commented.

“What did you say?! What did you just say?!” I roared.

He was shouting, and so was I. It felt awful. It was like we were saying things to each other that ought to remain unsaid. Anger and rage had picked up momentum, and I felt myself getting more and more emotional.

‘This bastard really wants to sever the Regressor Instruction Manual, huh?’

Just as he said, the thought that Kim Hyun-Sung was starting to walk on his own made me feel uneasy. I was afraid that the regressor would slip out of my control, grow on his own, and become independent.

‘This bastard... this ungrateful asshole. Do you not have any idea how much I’ve suffered because of you? These scars... Damn it.’

Naturally, Kim Hyun-Sung was just as emotional as I was. He had always been like that, so his reaction wasn't surprising, but it was clear he had no intention of trying to control himself.

We used to talk about our souls being connected and all that, but in the end, what had been piling up between us all this time had finally exploded.

Perhaps this was just karma catching up with us after being postponed for so long. From a third person’s point of view, we probably needed this. This was probably something inevitable.

After all, Hyun-Sung and I were connected through our souls; we had seen each other at our best and worst, which meant we trusted each other more than anyone else.

even so, we had never truly shared what was buried deep inside of us. It felt like one of those rites of passage we had to go through to move a step forward in our relationship or for our individual growth, but honestly, it wasn’t a situation I welcomed.

Our relationship had always been twisted. Every incident was messy as well. Like wired earphones stuffed in a pocket, it became impossible to untangle.

There was no way we could ever lay all the truth bare.

Sometimes, maintaining the status quo was better than trying to move forward.

This was definitely one of those times.

‘Damn it.’

I felt like Kim Hyun-Sung subconsciously wanted this to happen. I was sure that quack doctor was pleased about this conflict. However, I didn’t want to move forward.

The saying “after a storm comes the calm” didn’t suit the relationship between Kim Hyun-Sung and me. Once everything came to light, I wouldn't be able to say for sure whether he’d still be able to trust me.

Besides, this wasn’t something that could be resolved right now.

‘I need to stay rational....’

“Say it again. Go on, say it again!” I shouted.

‘I should stop this here....’

He probably felt it, too.

“Do you really think that I’m an idiot? Do you really think I don't know anything? Do you honestly believe I don’t understand how much you sacrificed to bring the continent this far?

"Do you even have a single, uninjured part of your body? What about your soul? Your mind? You've gotten younger—do you really think that’s normal?” Kim Hyun-Sung questioned.

“That was my choice. And why do you even care, Mr. Hyun-Sung?! Who asked you to take responsibility for it....” I argued back.

“I want to be with you, not dump everything on you. But look at yourself right now. Is it really strange that I'm regretting it now? I don’t think I said anything I shouldn’t have said,” Kim Hyun-Sung said.

“Haven’t you thought that maybe you just said it the wrong way? You say you regret it and that you were wrong. What does that make me, then? And if you really wanted to be with me and help me, shouldn’t you go back home? I told you that I need you, so shouldn't you come to me?” I questioned.

“I told you I wasn’t ready yet...” Kim Hyun-Sung mumbled.

“Who are you to decide that?! I told you I’m fine!” I shouted.

“I can think and decide for myself! How many times do I have to say it? Damn it! You’re scared of me, aren’t you?! So how am I supposed to—”

‘This rude bastard. Did he just call his hyung “you,” seriously?’

Things were spiraling out of control.

Eventually, I could feel people approaching us. With all the yelling, there was no way the other guild members wouldn't notice us. They were probably just waiting for the right moment to step in.

The situation was heated beyond repair, and the sight of that pig bastard rushing toward us was ridiculous.

“Hey, hey, why are you two fighting on such a joyous day? You’re both getting worked up. Calm down already,” Park Deok-Gu said.

I definitely looked like a rabid chihuahua baring its teeth at Kim Hyun-Sung, and it was proven by how Park Deok-Gu grabbed me by the arm.

“What’s with the death stare, huh? Enough already! Stop fighting and have a drink or something. Seriously, what the hell happened? You were getting along fine a moment ago. What could possibly make you two turn on each other like this? What are you even doing here?!” Park Deok-Gu shouted.

“...”

“...”

“Guild Master, you seem far too agitated. Please, calm down a little first....”

Jo Hye-Jin grabbed Kim Hyun-Sung’s arm.

“Both of you, stop it. Sub Guild Master, you’re not acting like yourself,” Sun Hee-Young said.

‘What the hell does that even mean. What’s “like me,” huh?!’

Jung Ha-Yan stood restlessly beside Han Sora while holding the latter's hand, and the rookies. Well, there was no need to even mention them.

It wasn’t as if Kim Hyun-Sung and I had never clashed before, but this was the first time things became so heated. The other guild members all looked on with worried expressions.

Among them, Kim Ye-Ri’s face stood out the most. She looked like the youngest daughter in a family on the brink of divorce, and she looked lost as she glanced between me and Hyun-Sung.

She looked as if the world had ended; she was so shocked that she couldn’t even bring herself to try stopping us. Sun Hee-Young and Elena kept urging us to stop, saying that it’d be better to make peace, but the heated argument was not going to cool down so easily.

We stopped shouting at each other because of the onlookers, but we were perfectly aware that a reconciliation or any meaningful conversation was impossible at this point.

‘Alright... time to draw out the tears.’

Tears of the poor, wounded Ki-Young. The kind of tears that were guaranteed to attract the family’s sympathy. In an instant, my eyes filled to the brim with tears, and they streamed down my cheeks.

Of course, I caught a glimpse of Kim Hyun-Sung’s startled face, but once I threw myself into Sun Hee-Young’s arms for comfort, I no longer had the energy to care about his face.

I heard Jung Ha-Yan let out a soft “Ah...”

Unfortunately, there was no way to switch positions, as I was already in Hee-Young's arms.

“Mr. Lee Ki-Young...”

‘That bastard is the one who’s wrong here.’

The other guild members were all frantically trying to comfort me. They didn’t exactly glare at Kim Hyun-Sung with hostility, as they still had no idea what happened, but there was no denying that the kindhearted Ki-Young was hurt.

“What on earth did you say to him, Hyun-Sung bro?” Park Deok-Gu asked.

“Please don’t cry, Mr. Lee Ki-Young,” Sun Hee-Young comforted me.

‘So sad. Ki-Young is so sad right now.’

“Hyun-Sung bro, stop just standing there and say something to him! What did you even say to make him like this?” Park Deok-Gu urged him.

“Please, calm down and talk it through, Guild Master,” Jo Hye-Jin suggested.

“Y-yeah... oppa. Ki-Young oppa...”

Even the dazed Kim Ye-Ri urged him to apologize. It was fair to say I’d cornered him pretty effectively.

When I glanced to the side, I saw Kim Hyun-Sung biting his lip tightly. Whether he actually intended to apologize or not, I couldn’t tell, but surely, at least out of formality, he’d say something to express regret.

“I... have nothing more to say,” Kim Hyun-Sung said.

“Wait, what....”

“It’s late. I’ll be going in now. Please look after Mr. Ki-Young,” Kim Hyun-Sung requested.

A clear dismissal.

‘What?’

'That’s it?'

“D-don’t be like that, oppa. At least talk to him,” Kim Ye-Ri said.

"A conversation won’t help right now. This isn’t something that can be resolved by one person apologizing or giving in,” Kim Hyun-Sung said.

'That can’t be true.'

‘He definitely knows he messed up.’

Whether he was trying to make a power play or resolve this conflict by finding a common ground, it didn't really matter, as Hyun-Sung definitely knew that he had made a mistake.

Of course, I had no intention of laying my true feelings bare to him. Even if I wanted to do so, it was impossible. The moment our relationship became equal, problems would arise. In our relationship, I had to be the one in charge, and Hyun-Sung had to be the subordinate.

There was absolutely no option for me to yield or give in. This was not out of petty pride; it was out of necessity. I had always been living that way, and I was going to keep living that way.

‘You have to give up. You must give up. You are the one who has to give up.’

“...”

‘I will never give in. Damn it. I will never, ever give in.’

I waited for him to say something to me, but my hand mirror never rang.

‘If you don’t, you’ll regret it.’

“...”

“...”

The next morning...

“Kim Hyun-Sung... you bastard. You’ll regret this,” I mumbled.