Regressor Instruction Manual

Chapter 1479. Continental War (59)

“Ah... ah...”

I catch sight of Kim Hyun-Sung blankly staring at my shoulder, his hands trembling.

“...”

“...”

‘It’s Dr. Michele. Is this right? You said he'd cure your mental illness... Are you actually getting treated?’

How come it looked like he was becoming even more broken instead? This wasn't the first or second time I witnessed Hyun-Sung losing his marbles all of a sudden, but I found it strange to see him lose control of his strength and bark threats like that.

Of course, if Kim Hyun-Sung were to put some strength into it, my shoulder would snap like a piece of cake, but even so, it was impossible to deny that he wasn’t in his right mind. He even looked scary.

I could understand why he was that angry. This wasn’t some random place. He was clearly bothered by the fact that I was wandering around the first life. I was only taking a walk around here, which was part of the main narrative. Meanwhile, Kim Hyun-Sung was a living witness who had actually lived in this place himself.

Just a mere glance was enough for anyone to tell that the first life was a complete mess.

I couldn’t know exactly what he had seen and felt, but I realized that he had witnessed far more than I could imagine.

‘Just how much of a hellhole was this place, damn it? Do we need to reassess it again? What the hell happened here?’

Now that I thought about it, Big Boy casually talked about retainers and test subjects at the Magic Tower, so it seemed that the very concept of human rights no longer existed here. It made me wonder if there was an even darker side than what I had thought and seen. Hyun-Sung had to have imagined me wandering around the first life alone and getting into trouble. I certainly looked the part, after all.

‘Of course, that’s your problem. Damn, it’s not like I’m a kid, I’ll survive just fine on my own. And I didn’t even come alone... Can’t you see Alps standing next to me?’

I understood Kim Hyun-Sung's feelings, but I wasn't going to let him take over the conversation. Obviously, I felt like “I’m sorry, Mr. Ki-Young” was about to come out of his mouth.

“...”

I stared straight at him and waited for what would come next, but only silence faced me.

The words, “I’m sorry, Mr. Ki-Young,” never came out of his mouth. I had no idea whether he was too angry to even apologize, or simply too out of it, but he didn't apologize to me. There was also a chance that he instinctively realized the fact that he would lose the advantage the moment he apologized.

Kim Hyun-Sung stared at me with a complicated face. It looked like he was shouting inside that he should apologize, yet flashes of embarrassment and lingering anger flickered in his eyes.

‘If things were going to turn out like this, damn it, maybe I shouldn’t accept it.’

Naturally, I figured it would be more advantageous to leave him with the debt of not being able to say that he was sorry.

“S-sor—”

“You’re... okay, right, Mr. Hyun-Sung?” I interrupted him.

“...”

“Are you really okay?” I asked again.

In the end, he forced down the apology that almost slipped out of his mouth.

“I’m... fine. There’s no problem at all,” he said.

‘No, you’re not fine. You don’t look fine at all. You’re acting completely strange, and you look totally insane. Anyone can see you’re not in your right mind.’

I wanted to snap back at him, but there was no way I could do that, so instead, though it wasn’t much of a substitute, I let my face convey how I felt. I cast a worried gaze at him, and it was slightly tinged with fear.

I also made it appear that I didn’t want to lose him, and I also added a pinch of regret over my past choice.

To be exact, I showed him regret over my decision to leave him alone.

'I shouldn't have let him go.'

“Please... let’s go back,” I begged, sounding desperate.

“...”

“R-right now...” I added.

“Didn’t I tell you that I can’t go back right now? The one who has to go back isn’t me, it’s you, Mr. Ki-Young. You need to leave this place right away. You shouldn't be here. It’s dangerous. I may have gotten too worked up, but what I said earlier wasn’t a lie. This place doesn't suit you,” he said.

“Then what was that scene I just saw? Who was that?” I questioned.

“That... has nothing to do with you, Mr. Ki-Young. It’s unrelated to you... He doesn't matter...” he answered.

‘Are you trying to protect me... by burying the masked scum and never letting me know about it? Are you doing this because you think I’ll get hurt?’

“It does matter. I told you I have the right to know everything, too. Whatever’s tangled up here... I want to know it all,” I told him.

“I told you there’s no need for you to know!” he shouted.

“And Lindel’s—”

“That’s... Anyway, Mr. Ki-Young... you have to go back," he interrupted me. "Actually... why did you hide this from me in the first place?! Why did you hide what’s happening on the continent from me?"

‘So this idiot knows at least something.’

It was time to erase the excuse that I had come here to find him from the list of options.

“Weren't you always like this? Saying things like you’re hiding something, that you want to know, and that we should figure it out together. Do you even have the right to say that? Aren’t you the same? You didn't tell me even a single word,” he complained.

“How am I supposed to say anything?” I questioned.

“What? That’s...”

“How could I possibly tell you!” I shouted.

‘No, damn it, calm down. Damn it. Don’t get worked up.’

“I knew exactly what kind of situation you were in, Mr. Hyun-Sung. How could I have told you? How could I say anything when you were like that? If the situation were reversed, would you be able to say it? You were struggling so much...” I asked.

Of course, the truth was a little different, but it all depended on one's interpretation. From my point of view, the established story was that I was considerate of Kim Hyun-Sung, who was struggling. It looked like an attempt at rationalizing things, but there wasn’t a better excuse than this one.

How could I possibly force Kim Hyun-Sung to go back to the guild when he himself had recognized that he was suffering from madness and had decided to throw away his duties in the guild to receive treatment?

Hyun-Sung probably knew that better than anyone. He had to have understood that I hadn’t created secrets because I wanted to do so, but because I was trying to be considerate of him. He'd soon realize that we were in completely different situations.

No matter how one looked at it, the reason I decided to hide everything seemed reasonable. However, it wasn’t the same for Kim Hyun-Sung. Of course, he definitely had his reasons.

First, he wanted to hide that the masked scum was Lee Ki-Young. Secondly, he was involved in the purging incident. Lastly, there were things he had to do, but he couldn't talk about them with me. All of them were things he couldn’t bring himself to say out loud, and on top of that, damn it, he even had Dr. Michele mixed into the mess.

There was no way he could explain everything to me.

‘It’s fundamentally different.’

The secrets I carried had reasons for becoming secrets, while his secrets were unreasonable. I could make up explanations for all of my secrets, but he couldn’t do that. He knew that himself.

I could pressure him, but rather than cornering him, I judged it was better to keep taking the stance of apologizing first.

“...”

“I...” I paused before continuing, “I was wrong. I should’ve told you no matter what...”

“...”

‘So what are you going to do now?’

'I should probably squeeze out a tear too. Get the tears flowing first, as usual.'

“I should’ve told you everything that had happened... I think I made the wrong choice,” I added.

‘It was all for you, but fine, I’ll yield for now. You know I’m not the type to apologize first, right? Today’s a special day.’

“Back then, I thought it was for your sake, Mr. Hyun-Sung. It wasn’t because I wanted to keep secrets or had some other reason to do so. I just didn’t want to burden you anymore,” I said.

“...”

“...”

‘I said my piece. Now it’s your turn to talk.’

Of course, it wouldn’t be easy for him to say it, but he had to speak here. He could make something up or confess about Kim Hyun-Sung of Lindel. It would be hard to talk about the masked scum right now, so it would take time, but either way, I offered my hand first, so he had to respond by accepting my hand.

“I thought maybe we just didn’t talk to each other enough. After going through all this, that became even clearer to me. Too many things happened too quickly, and the environment changed so much... From your point of view, Mr. Hyun-Sung, there must’ve been a lot of things that were confusing too,” I continued.

“...”

“It’s the same for me as well. I went through so much... I needed some time in my own way, too. I’m not even sure what I’m saying right now, but... So... what I mean is... I think we should start facing things together from now on. Please, let’s go back. If you don’t like that I’m here, then we can just go together,” I suggested.

'If you don’t like the fact that I'm here, then you can just take me with you.'

‘Then everything will be resolved.’

What better solution could there be other than that?

“...”

“...”

“Let’s go together. Let’s go back together. If there’s something you want to hide, you don’t have to tell me. If there’s something you have to do, then we’ll do it together like we always do. That’s how we’ve done things until now, and that’s how we’re supposed to keep doing them,” I suggested.

“I...”

'It feels like this might work. It really feels like I'm getting through.'

Sure enough, hesitation clouded Kim Hyun-Sung’s face. I had just presented him with the most ideal solution possible for this situation. Considering that he tended to avoid taking responsibility, it definitely sounded sweet to him.

Even at a glance, he looked like he was carrying a heavy burden, and I had basically declared that I would help him carry it... He’d probably raise the white flag any second now.

“I’m worried about you, Mr. Hyun-Sung,” I said.

‘You’re seriously not in your right mind right now. You’re losing it.’

“I’m really worried,” I repeated.

He slowly averted his gaze.

“...”

As ridiculous as it looked, it felt like he was asking Dr. Michele whether it was okay for him to go, and fury shot straight to the top of my head. On top of that... it didn’t look like he’d gotten a very positive answer either.

‘Come on, damn it. Damn it. Damn it.’

Since he still cared about me, there had to have been a reason behind this, but I hated every part of this situation. The fact that I had practically begged him, but he ignored me and asked permission from someone who hadn’t even shown himself until now.

‘He’s obviously a damn villain, you idiot. Even if, by some chance, he has good intentions, he became the villain the moment he wedged himself between us, you idiot.’

“Mr. Ki-Young... maybe...” Kim Hyun-Sung trailed off.

‘Damn it. Damn it. Choose your words carefully.’

“I think it’ll be hard for you to understand why I’m here, why I didn’t say anything, and why I suddenly disappeared. It'll be hard for you to understand what you just saw, about Kim Hyun-Sung of Lindel, and... Dr. Michele as well. I’m sure everything seems suspicious to you,” he continued.

‘Yeah, damn right it’s suspicious.’

“But everything I’m trying to do, all of it... all of it... is for you on a larger scale, Mr. Ki-Young. It's for the continent as well, so I hope you'll believe that,” he said.

‘So what? You’re saying you want to handle this yourself? And Dr. Michele is what... some kind of helper?’

“Just this once... could you trust me and go back? Go back and live as if nothing had happened... Could you do that? Please... just this once, trust me and follow what I say. Without asking anything... please...” he begged.

“...”

“...”

“Please... I’m begging you,” he said.

“...”

‘There’s no way I can trust you...’

“...”

‘I absolutely... can’t trust you.’

There was no way I could believe him.

“...”

“I trust you, Mr. Hyun-Sung,” I said.

“Then...”

“But not this time. Not with that look and not the state you’re in right now. Do you remember what you said before? That you wanted to change, that you wanted to stand on your own?

"Is this it? You suddenly disappeared and started wandering around here with some stranger. I have no idea what you’re doing... you won’t tell me a single thing. You think just saying 'trust me' is supposed to be enough?" I complained.

“...”

“You don’t even look mentally stable... How am I supposed to support you when you're in so much danger?” I questioned.

‘Maybe I should’ve just said that I trusted him. Maybe I could’ve cleaned it up later,' I thought, but the words had already left my mouth. No, more than that, I suddenly wanted to hurt this idiot. After throwing away all my pride and practically begging him to come back with me, he still ignored me.

I wanted to call it a petty kind of revenge. Of course, it was irrational, but before I could think it through, the words jumped out of my mouth first.

Still, I didn’t forget to keep the tears falling. At the very least, I had to look like I was worried about Kim Hyun-Sung on the surface. Seeing tears welling up in Alps’ eyes too, I definitely looked pretty desperate.

However, my gaze and voice felt quite cold even to me.

Kim Hyun-Sung could probably feel that coldness.

“Do you think... this is normal?” I asked.

“Pardon?”

“I’m asking if you think you're... normal,” I questioned.

“...”

“The way you acted toward me... getting angry like some hothead and being violent... is that normal? What exactly changed? Is hurting me and not even apologizing what you call change?” I continued.

“What? T-that’s—”

“You said you wanted to change, so I respected your decision... but this is what you changed into? To me, it looks like you’re getting worse. Like you’re spiraling further and further... into the worst possible direction. You look like someone who can’t be left alone,” I interrupted him.

“Um... Mr. Ki-Young...”

“Answer my question, Mr. Hyun-Sung. Do you really think you're normal right now? You look exhausted, and you've been grazing your skin around your eyes like it has become a habit, and I can’t even tell where you’re looking.

"You’ve broken out into a cold sweat, and your breathing is unsteady. Why do you keep stepping back? I’m talking to you, Mr. Hyun-Sung. You keep showing these strange, incomprehensible sides of yourself, and you expect me to trust you?” I rambled on.

“Ah...”

“Of course, I trust you, yes, I do, but...” I paused before continuing, “How do you expect me to react when you look like that while asking me to trust you? You don’t seriously think you’re normal, do you? You’re not thinking that way, right?” I questioned.

“Haa... haa... hoo... hoo... hoo...” Kim Hyun-Sung started breathing heavily.

“Please, get a hold of yourself, I’m begging you, Mr. Hyun-Sung,” I said.

“Hoo... hoo... hng... hoo...”

“I’m begging you...” I repeated.

Kim Hyun-Sung looked like he was about to cry—no, it looked like he was fighting back the tears that were falling down his cheeks. It also looked like he had forgotten how to breathe.

‘Don’t try to grow or change... You’ll never... be able to leave.’