Chapter 5: Mama Goose
Translator: Lonelytree Editor: Millman97
“Before we get you some clothes, we’ll go see which place can help you with some fake IDs and certificates.”
Mother Ye had her hand over Ye Shuang’s arm proudly, but the first words out of her mouth had completely shocked Ye Shuang.
“Huh‽” Ye Shuang couldn’t believe her ears.
“…Don’t tell me you don’t know about this‽” Mother Ye too was equally shocked. “Weren’t there quite a number of such establishment around your university? In fact, I remember seeing them selling fake graduation certificate…”
Ye Shuang tilted her head back to look at her mom, “No, the question is why we need those?”
“My silly son…” Mother Ye seemed to have adapted to her new role quite easily; it seemed like she had accepted the fact that she had given birth to two sons . “Have you forgotten how different you look now? In fact, you might even need to redo your original ID; what if you also look much prettier as a woman?”
Since the moment they were born, from birth certificate to university examination, all the IDs and certificates had been handled by Mother Ye. To be able to send both children to university without a single worry from Father Ye was a great testament to Mother Ye’s success.
One should not underestimate the skill required to be a successful homemaker. Once her children reached the appropriate age, she had to help them with the choice of school, deal with the many forms, liaise with other students’ parents and teachers on top of taking care of the family…
Did women enjoy being the ol’ ball and chain? No, it was because no one else in the family was willing to step up to the plate!
The father of the house normally had a clearer focus on the bigger picture, but in terms of the smaller details and everyday wisdom, one truly needed a woman’s touch. This was highlighted by the fact that after Ye Shuang’s dramatic transformation, Father Ye’s biggest worry was her career, but Mother Ye was concerned about her ability to mesh into the society with her new identities.
The reality had proven that a qualified homemaker was not only careful when dealing with formal routines, but if they wanted to, they could be equally perfect when dealing with illegal certification…
“My son’s ID must be useable with traceable records… Let me tell you, my phone is connected to the internet, I’ll use the ID to purchase a plane ticket on the spot, if it can’t go through, then the deal is over!” Mother Ye utilized her immense presence, honed over years of bargaining at the morning market, to maintain control of the situation. She went through her demands carefully, while at the same time, requesting discounts. “Also give me a graduation certificate, I want the 211 type, don’t lie to me because I know how to check for authenticity online… By the way, I hear you people also deal with passport‽ Wait, how about driver’s licenses? Son, I’ve bought so many things from you, shouldn’t you give me a good discount‽”
Ye Shuang stood to the side awkwardly. Other than holding Mother Ye, she found no opening to intervene. The men who manned the place were almost in tears; they were nearly driven crazy by Mother Ye. They had served many customers before, but this was the first time they had crossed swords with a professional middle-aged homemaker.
Her mercantile skill had reached the maximum score of 100, and her persuasion skill was at an expert level as well. She dominated the trade even though this was the first time Mother Ye had patronized this place.
After some back and forth, a lanky fella, who looked like the proprietor, came out. He skipped Mother Ye to look at Ye Shuang. “Need a new ID?”
“Why else do you think I’m here?” Ye Shuang retorted.
Mother Ye wanted to chime in, but Ye Shuang pulled on her sleeve silently… Ye Shuang still remembered not to be too cavalier with her strength… After a glance at her son , Mother Ye believed such a situation called for a talk between men, so she stood to the back.
The lanky fella continued, “What I meant was… you’re not here because you’re running away from the police, right?”
Then again, he doesn’t look like he’s in any criminal trouble… but identity theft is not impossible. With that face of his, fooling rich women with multiple identities is entirely feasible.
Ye Shuang didn’t have the imagination of the lanky fella, but she was indeed annoyed by his insinuation. “Brother, if I was really running away from the police, shouldn’t I have gone to a plastic surgeon, why would I come here‽ Don’t be too suspicious, in any case, we won’t bring you any trouble.”
“We’re not afraid of any trouble. After all, we’re moving in less than a week. Even if anything happens to you, it won’t be traced back to us,” the lanky fella said with a shrug. Then he pulled up a digital camera and tossed it to one of his lackeys. He pointed at the door at the back of the room and said, “Go take a picture in there. The new ID will be ready in a week or so… Also, no discount.”
“We…” Mother Ye couldn’t help but intervene, but her sleeve was pulled again.
“Sure, as long as the ID is useable.” Ye Shuang should consider herself lucky, because even though such places were plenty, the one they had gone to was the most professional one. What she needed then was to solve the identity issue; money was not a problem. This was not a stroll through the night market, searching for a cheap head of lettuce; such a service might not be available after this street.
The pair of mother and daughter left the shop after they took care of everything and exchanged phone numbers. Mother Ye groused, “There goes several tens of thousands of dollars. Let’s go see whether we can get similar service elsewhere with only several hundred dollars!”
“Mom, the quality won’t be the same.” Ye Shuang didn’t know to laugh or cry. She explained patiently, “They promised I can even use the ID to apply for a passport and wedding certificate. With such good quality, the price is acceptable.”
No matter how shrewd Mother Ye was, she was from the earlier generation; there were many things she didn’t understand. Ye Shuang, even though she hadn’t experienced this before, with the help of Mr. Google, all kinds of information was at her fingertips…
With a few more words of persuasion from her son , Mother Ye sighed with reluctance. Then, they raised their spirits as they headed for the mall.
There are two kinds of children in the world, yours and other families’. Like a Mama Goose, Mother Ye was proud of her own children and lavished them with all of her attention. Unfortunately, neither one of them grew up to be above average.
In comparison, other people’s children either became the prettiest or the smartest at school. In any case, there were those one or two points that shone brighter than her own children.
Mother Ye knew herself to be part of the general public, so she didn’t expect her children to be exceptionally clever or pretty. Of course, this didn’t mean that she looked down on her own children. However, if one day, her own child turned into a Greek god, she was not going to skimp on experiencing the feeling of being a proud mama.
Just holding Ye Shuang’s arm, they managed to hold everyone’s gaze at the mall. This was a sensation that she had not experienced before in her life… With the improvement in her mood, Mother Ye became incredibly chatty. Before they arrived at the mall, she was thinking about their budget, but now, that flew out the window. “Shuang Shuang, pick anything you want! Of course, my handsome son need some clothes to accentuate his good looks!”
In that instant, Ye Shuang felt like she had lived 24 years as an adopted child…
As she was dragged into a shop, with just a glance at Ye Shuang’s face, the salesgirl wandered over immediately, and her voice was as sweet as honey when she said, “Welcome, sir, what kind of attire are you looking for?”
Ye Shuang was about to say something when a familiar female voice called out from their periphery, “Auntie Luo‽”