Samsara Online

Chapter 478: Explanation & Understanding

Xie Feng could easily shake off Shen Xinya and it would even be easy for him to harden his own skin by filling his insides with compressed air bubbles. After all, Shen Xinya was just a normal human without any physical or magical abilities that would help her teeth pierce through from his jacket to the T-shirt he wore underneath.

However, Xie Feng did nothing but stand there silently.

It was clear that Shen Xinya really intended to hurt him because Xie Feng felt her teeth digging hard into his jacket and as a result they dug hard into his skin. Even though it was not directly, the human’s jaw was one of the most powerful jaws that existed on earth so a bite like this could not be underestimated.

Xie Feng gritted his teeth to avoid grunting from the pain and instead of pushing her away he wrapped his arms around Shen Xinya’s slender waist, pulling her closer to him.

The two stood like that, in silence. Shen Xinya seemed to want to release all her frustration while Xie Feng simply closed his eyes and breathed in the sweet scent of her hair and body.

The two went about two or three minutes without saying a single word. At some unknown point, Shen Xinya’s arms had wrapped around Xie Feng’s back like a lioness trying to prevent her prey from escaping her grasp as she continued to bite him as hard as she could.

Around that time, she finally loosened her grip on him at the same time as the strength on her bite weakened. Taking this as a sign, Xie Feng slowly opened his eyes and looked down.

He could feel Shen Xinya’s body trembling delicately in his embrace and when his eyes finally met those two beautiful pearl like eyes she had his heart felt extremely sorry to see the tears that threatened to fall but were being held back by sheer will power.

"Does it hurt?" Shen Xinya asked as she touched his shoulder but kept her eyes firmly locked on his.

Xie Feng didn’t want to lie and there was no need for him to do so either. He could feel how his shoulder was a little wet from her saliva, which meant that with her small teeth she had actually managed to pierce through every defense after fiercely biting the same spot for so long without letting go at all.

"It hurts." He said still looking at her and not avoiding her gaze.

Shen Xinya nodded and took a step back. Then, she pointed to her own chest and said in a stifled voice, "My heart hurts too. And it hurt a lot more when you denied our relationship in front of all those people."

Xie Feng looked at her with sad eyes but the sadness in Shen Xinya’s eyes was way higher when she said, "Are you so afraid to admit that we are a couple? Why? Is it because you don’t want your day to day life to be harmed? Or is it because you don’t want your official girlfriend, Xie Yao, to suffer? Please explain to me, because I really don’t understand."

He could feel that aside from sadness, Shen Xinya was filled with anger in her heart; and rightly so. After all, in her eyes, what Xie Feng was doing was no different from a coward running away from his responsibilities while she as a woman was not afraid to fight against all odds.

Xie Feng smiled bitterly in his heart. He wanted to hug her but he knew that at this moment at least it was better to explain his reasons before trying to touch her or else he would only make things worse.

"Xinya, it’s not as easy as you think."

"Explain it to me then. So I can understand where your difficulty is."

Xie Feng sighed and slowly began to explain the reasons why he did what he did and the reason why he had no choice but to do it.

"Do you really think I’m afraid of what others will say about me? Xinya, I was bullied all through my childhood and part of my adolescence to worry about something like that at this point. But I do worry about what others will say about you... You, a wonderful woman with hundreds of thousands if not millions of suitors, actually want to become just another one of the crowd just for the sake of being with a man. With your current reputation, the rumors and gossip will literally sink you to the point where it will be difficult for you to go out on the street without being fingered considering that with the internet and the media all news travels extremely fast around the world."

"... Just because of that? Just because you want to protect me you are not willing to say that we love each other and are in a relationship?" Shen Xinya looked at him in disbelief. The anger in her heart only increased as she said aloud, "Stop assuming I’m a weak woman!"

From the moment she had decided to become "just another one of the crowd" Shen Xinya was clear about what could happen to her reputation and naturally understood that if all this became known, she would be pointed at and mocked every time she went out on the street. However, she still made the decision to follow the man in front of her regardless of the consequences. Therefore, upon hearing such a cheap reason from him, sadness began to recede as anger began to flare up more strongly.

Xie Feng shook his head and continued to explain, "It’s not that easy, I already told you..."

He looked into her eyes and pointed out, "You may not worry or care about what others may say or do, but I do care and worry. What I want for you is happiness, a life of dignity, and not a life where you have to hide behind a hat or where you can’t go out to a restaurant because everyone will point fingers and whisper behind your back. If that really happened, then countless people would die as I’m sure I won’t be able to control myself."

Xie Feng could accept being ridiculed to a certain extent without doing anything about it and even if someone pointed at him and laughed in his face as long as it was not too excessive he could put up with it. However, any kind of aggravation that his loved ones were forced to go through for someone else was intolerable to him.

To this day, the number of people he had slaughtered with his own hands just for the mere fact of badmouthing Xie Yao or making her feel bad definitely totaled over 100 and he would naturally do the same if something like that happened to Shen Xinya; he would just have to slaughter countless in comparison.

Seeing that now she was really listening to him, he remarked in a proud voice, "While I am proud of myself, my greatest pride is not me, my greatest pride is divided into four wonderful women. I am proud of how amazing you are, from your beauty to your sweet but sometimes grumpy personality; I am proud of your accomplishments, your voice, the way you dress, the way you walk, the way your eyes sparkle when you have mischievous thoughts.... Everything about you makes me proud. And I am a man who never allowed his pride to be stepped on after seeing the happiness of my loved ones crushed."

Xie Feng stared at Shen Xinya and culminated with the last point that held him back, "Finally, tell me what will happen to your family once the news spreads around the world... No, I will tell you. They too will be ridiculed and considering your fame I am sure that the business and peace of your whole family will be involved in endless problems.... My love Xinya, this world is not a world where we can do whatever we want unless we are willing to completely ignore all consequences. But by ignoring consequences, unless we are all-powerful beings, sooner or later we will inevitably end up hurting someone we love."

The Shen Family was a very wealthy family with countless businesses, but Shen Xinya’s fame was simply too great. If the world found out that the only female daughter of the Shen Family was willing to be a "mere concubine" and that she fought with other women for sexual pleasure and love, then there would definitely be serious problems knocking on their doors every day.

After all, among the men who were madly in love with Shen Xinya’s beauty were sons of men whose power could not be ignored and there were even perverted dirty old men whose control over world stability was formidable.

What Xie Feng wanted to show Shen Xinya with his words was that while he did not care about what people would say as his life would definitely continue its rhythm, what he wanted to avoid was hurting those important to him and those important to her.

Seeing the anger in Shen Xinya’s eyes fading, Xie Feng subconsciously sighed in relief.

She naturally did not want her family, the family who took her in and gave her a place to call home and those who gave everything for her well-being, to suffer because of her actions. Besides, considering how earnestly Xie Feng had said earlier that if anyone mocked her he would have to kill all those people, Shen Xinya didn’t doubt that he was being serious and not just for the sake of talking.

She bit her lip and as she looked down at her feet, causing the tears hanging on her eyelashes to drip to the ground, she whispered, "In this moment, I really wish I had never been a singer."