Secretly, But Unable to Hide It

Chapter 26

Sang Zhi couldn’t refute his words.

She didn’t dare look at Duan Jiaxu. Her reactions were a beat slow due to nervousness and the little red-hatted character on the screen instantly fell into the air, accompanied by the ‘game over’ caption.

In the quiet room, the game’s background music echoed, cheerful and loud.

But in this atmosphere, it seemed even more bizarre.

From the corner of her eye, Sang Zhi noticed Duan Jiaxu withdrawing his gaze, idly playing with the buttons on the controller which made clicking sounds, mechanical and steady. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking.

Sang Zhi suddenly realized that she shouldn’t have brought the topic up.

She shouldn’t have mentioned it.

Her mind went blank, and she stabbed a piece of watermelon with a fork, biting into it. This season’s watermelon wasn’t sweet, just juicy but tasteless, not very good. She chewed slowly, finding it hard to swallow, and soon muttered, “I told my brother the same thing.”

Duan Jiaxu stopped what he was doing.

“My friend’s brother got a girlfriend.” Sang Zhi put the fork back on the plate, her tone unusually calm. “Then she was mean to my friend. So, Brother, you shouldn’t get a girlfriend either.”

Upon hearing that, Duan Jiaxu looked at Sang Zhi again, his expression thoughtful. “Why was she mean to your friend?”

Sang Zhi explained softly, “She thought the brother was too good to my friend, and it made her unhappy.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes.” Sang Zhi racked her brain for reasons, explaining dryly, “If you got a girlfriend, then you wouldn’t be good to me either.”

“Kid, why are you thinking so far ahead?” Duan Jiaxu’s brows relaxed, his tone light, “Maybe after a few years of not seeing Brother, you’ll forget all about me.”

Sang Zhi didn’t respond.

Duan Jiaxu put the controller on the table. “By then, I’ll find someone gentle.”

“……”

“Someone who will be nice to our little Sang Zhi as well.” Duan Jiaxu smiled warmly, his tone casual, “How about that? I’ll find one more person to be good to you.”

Sang Zhi stared at the watermelon on the table, slowly nodding. “Okay.”

After a long while, she suppressed the bitterness rising in her throat and forced a sentence, “Then you have to let me take a look at her first.”

———pr

Sang Yan didn’t stay out for long, returning in less than half an hour.

Seeing him return, Sang Zhi didn’t stay to play, finding an excuse to go back to her room.

After Sang Zhi left, Sang Yan took off his coat and casually asked, “What time is your part-time job?”

“It’s almost time.” Duan Jiaxu replied. “Where did you go?”

“A friend was nearby.” Sang Yan lay on the bed, staring at his phone without lifting his eyelids. “Went to eat without money and called me over to bring some.”

Duan Jiaxu hummed in response as she started to pack his things. “Then I’m leaving.”

“Okay.”

He stood up, then suddenly remembering the earlier incident, he asked, “Sang Yan, let me ask you something.”

Sang Yan: “Ask.”

“Your sister—” Duan Jiaxu paused, seeming to think.

“My sister what?” Sang Yan was impatient. “If you want to ask, ask. Why are you hesitating?”

Duan Jiaxu finally finished his sentence, “Has your sister ever told you not to date?”

“Huh?” Not expecting that question, Sang Yan paused. “Yeah.”

“……”

“When I was a freshman in high school, my parents thought I was dating early.” Sang Yan recalled for a moment, scratching his head. “She was about seven or eight then? She cried a lot when she found out.”

Duan Jiaxu asked again, “What about now?”

“Now?” Sang Yan sneered. “She doesn’t think I can find a girlfriend at all.”

“……”

“Why are you asking this?”

“Nothing.” Duan Jiaxu came back to his senses and smiled. “Just asking.”

———pr

Not long after returning to her room, Sang Zhi heard the sound of Duan Jiaxu leaving.

Sang Zhi stared at the ceiling, then she suddenly pulled the curtains closed and grabbed the plush toy Duan Jiaxu had given her, hugging it tightly before quickly throwing it away. Lying on the bed, she felt an emptiness in her heart and she didn’t want to move at all.

It felt like a heart palpitation mixed with some regret, fearing that something bad might happen at any moment.

She seemed too impulsive.

She shouldn’t have relied on her young age, revealing everything without reservation.

Had he noticed?

Had he already noticed?

What would happen if he did?

Would he think she was strange, thinking about such things at such a young age, unable to understand why she had such thoughts?

Would he lecture her, then start to change his attitude towards her?

Or, would he start to distance himself, never being as good to her as before?

None of these were good outcomes.

Sang Zhi suddenly sat up. Pulling her phone from under her pillow, she found Duan Jiaxu’s number, wanting to explain more. However, she felt like she would only make it worse.

She watched as the phone screen slowly dimmed, her nose suddenly stinging.

Sang Zhi didn’t know what to do.

She only knew that this secret shouldn’t be discovered.

———pr

The next evening at ten.

After a day of work, Duan Jiaxu opened the dorm room with the key and was about to grab his clothes to wash them when he suddenly got a call from Sang Yan. He put the phone to his ear while walking towards the balcony.

“Hello.”

Sang Yan’s voice came through, “Duan Jiaxu, don’t come over tomorrow, change it to the day after.”

“……” Duan Jiaxu paused. “Why?”

After a few seconds of silence, Sang Yan clicked his tongue, seeming extremely exasperated. “The little brat is having a puppy love, saying she wants to find her crush. My parents are scolding her now.”

Thinking he had heard wrong, Duan Jiaxu nearly choked. “What?”

Sang Yan repeated, “Puppy love.”

Duan Jiaxu thought of the boy he had seen before. “With a schoolmate?”

“No.” Possibly feeling a bit embarrassed, Sang Yan coughed lightly. “I heard it was…… an online crush?”

“……”

Sang Yan continued, “She said she wants to go to her crush’s city to find him.”

Duan Jiaxu raised an eyebrow. “That’s not okay.”

“Of course not, how could we let her go? That little brat is so reckless. My parents have been scolding her for two hours.” Sang Yan added, “She probably won’t be in the mood to study tomorrow, so come the day after.”

“Okay.” Duan Jiaxu couldn’t help but laugh, a soft breath escaping his throat. “Don’t be too hard on her, it’s normal to have such thoughts at her age. Just reason with her, let her understand the limits.”

“……”

“She’ll understand what she needs to.”

———pr

Sang Zhi thought she had come up with a brilliant plan.

Even though it cost her a round of scolding from her parents and brother, once she secretly overheard Sang Yan’s phone call, she felt it was all worth it.

She just needed to let Duan Jiaxu know!

She didn’t have a crush on him! In fact! She already had! A crush!

Otherwise, with that old guy’s narcissistic personality, even if he didn’t suspect it this time, he would eventually.

Sang Zhi was very certain.

If he knew about her feelings, the outcome would definitely not be good.

What could she do?

Besides waiting and liking, she couldn’t do anything.

At least for now, until Duan Jiaxu no longer saw her as a child, it would remain this way.

The tutoring session was moved to Thursday at nine in the morning.

This time, Sang Zhi got up on time, sitting at the desk in Sang Yan’s room half an hour early.

Sang Yan was a light sleeper and the noise she made instantly woke him up. He glanced at the time. It was only 8:30. His irritation flared and the veins on his forehead throbbed. “What are you doing?”

Sang Zhi was looking for a pen and didn’t respond.

Pointing to the door, Sang Yan tried to contain his temper. “You’d better leave before I get angry.”

“Brother, I need to study.” Sang Zhi said as she opened her workbook. “You go out.”

“……”

“Go sleep in the living room.”

“……”

At this time, Sang Yan was too lazy to argue with her. He turned over, fuming, and went back to sleep.

Sang Zhi didn’t make any more noise. Her eyes were on her textbook, but her attention kept drifting to the entryway, thinking about how she should react when Duan Jiaxu arrived.

Or perhaps, she didn’t need to think about it at all.

Just act as if nothing had happened.

But that didn’t seem right either. Given her current situation, Duan Jiaxu would likely think something very serious had occurred, causing her significant emotional pain.

So, should she pretend to have just gone through a forced ‘breakup’, appearing heartbroken and numb?

As she pondered, she looked over the materials Duan Jiaxu had gone over with her the day before.

Soon, the doorbell rang.

Sang Zhi instinctively looked towards Sang Yan, noticing he showed no signs of getting up. After a moment’s hesitation, she ran to open the downstairs door for Duan Jiaxu herself.

After waiting for a few seconds, there was noise outside. Sang Zhi glanced through the doorbell camera and then silently opened the door.

When Duan Jiaxu saw her, his eyes lifted slightly in surprise. “Little Sang Zhi, you’re up so early today?”

Sang Zhi nodded without saying anything and turned to walk towards Sang Yan’s room.

Duan Jiaxu took off his shoes and followed her. “Have you had breakfast?”

Sang Zhi nodded again. “My mom made porridge.”

They walked into the room.

Sang Yan, still groggy, opened his eyes and stared at them before sitting up, seemingly trying to steady his breathing. Then he abruptly grabbed his blanket and silently left the room.

Taking this opportunity, Duan Jiaxu closed the door behind him and said lazily, “Your brother has quite a temper.”

Sang Zhi sat down in a chair. “Mm.”

Sitting next to her, Duan Jiaxu didn’t rush to tutor Sang Zhi. He casually picked up a pen and tapped it on the table, asking in a low voice, “Kid, Brother heard that you’re having a puppy love?”

She knew he would bring this up.

Sang Zhi glanced at him, pretending not to hear.

Duan Jiaxu continued, “How did you know him? Tell Brother.”

“……”

“Can Brother give you some advice?”

Sang Zhi pursed her lips in annoyance. “Why are you so nosy?”

“Can’t Brother show some concern for you?” Duan Jiaxu’s gaze swept over her face, his lips curving slightly. “You told Brother not to date but you want to start dating yourself?”

“……”

Duan Jiaxu pressed on, “Did your online crush ask you to visit him?”

Since Sang Zhi had only fabricated this character, she didn’t know how to respond. She just nodded along.

“How old is he?”

Sang Zhi thought about Duan Jiaxu’s age and felt that if she said the same age, it might be suspicious. After hesitating for a few seconds, she cautiously said, “Almost graduating from university.”

“……” Duan Jiaxu had thought it was just kids playing around. Hearing the word ‘university’, he doubted his ears. “Hmm? How old?”

“……In his twenties.”

Duan Jiaxu’s smile gradually faded. “Where did he tell you to find him?”

Feeling guilty, Sang Zhi replied, “Just over at Yihe.”

“Your c—” Duan Jiaxu changed his address, “old crush.”

“……”

He tugged at the corner of his mouth, enunciating each word clearly, “Does he know how old you are?”

Sang Zhi hesitated and nodded.

Duan Jiaxu’s smile disappeared completely. He tossed the pen in his hand and reached out towards her. “Give it to me.”

Sang Zhi looked up, puzzled. “Huh? Give you what?”

Duan Jiaxu clarified, “Phone number.”

“You already have my number.”

“I mean,” Duan Jiaxu stared at her expressionlessly. “your old crush’s number.”

“……” Sang Zhi’s eyes widened. “No way.”

Duan Jiaxu laughed in frustration. “Still protecting him?”

Where would she even find a number for ‘him’?

Sang Zhi braced herself and said, “Anyway, just no.”

“Sang Zhi, Brother doesn’t want to get angry with you.” Duan Jiaxu found the situation absurd and patiently explained, “Listen carefully, your family doesn’t want any harm to come to you. They think this shouldn’t be done because it could really hurt you. Before you’re an adult, before you graduate from high school, you can’t date. Once you grow up, you can do whatever you want, and no one will stop you.”

“……”

“Did you hear me?”

After a few seconds of silence, Sang Zhi reluctantly agreed, “But I can’t resist the temptation.”

Duan Jiaxu frowned. “What?”

“When others around me date,” Sang Zhi said, “I also want to date.”

“……”

What kind of logic was this?

Duan Jiaxu found it both frustrating and amusing. “So, you watch a romance drama and want to date?”

“No,” Sang Zhi muttered, “I mean people close to me.”

“Why are you so petty, Kid?” Duan Jiaxu looked her over slowly, speaking leisurely, “You can’t date, so you won’t let others date either?”

“Yes.” Sang Zhi glanced at him quickly. “Isn’t that just intentionally provoking others?”

“Fine, let’s say you have a point.” Duan Jiaxu spread open the textbook on the table, his expression relaxed. “We’ll talk about the future later. But about your old crush asking you to go to Yihe……”

“……”

“How coincidental, Brother lives there and I will be going back after the Spring Festival.” Duan Jiaxu smiled, his eyes slightly narrowing. “If Brother finds out you went there before you became an adult……”

Sang Zhi asked, “……What then?”

“Then little Sang Zhi,” Duan Jiaxu affectionately pinched her cheek, his voice carrying a hint of laughter, “might not see the day you become an adult.”

“……”