Secretly, But Unable to Hide It

Chapter 36

The two of them left the hospital room.

Duan Jiaxu turned his head to look at Sang Zhi. Today, he had changed back into his own clothes— a military green short coat, a white sweatshirt underneath, and slim-fit black trousers.

His beard was cleanly shaved, making him look much younger, almost like a university student.

He bent down slightly to meet Sang Zhi’s eyes. Finding her words somewhat amusing, he smiled and teased, “Getting married as soon as possible?”

Sang Zhi stared back at him, not blinking. “Weren’t you the one who started it?”

Noticing her poor mood, Duan Jiaxu’s eyebrows rose and he stood up straight. “Are you angry?”

There was a moment of silence.

“I’m not angry. It’s just that, Brother,” Sang Zhi stopped walking and said seriously, “you shouldn’t joke like that in the future.”

Even if she knew it was a joke.

Because she was particularly aware that he would never really like her.

So, she didn’t find it funny at all.

He could treat it as a joke without any qualms, his expression not showing a trace of discomfort. It was as if, unknowingly, he was turning her little concerns and careful concealments into a joke.

Sang Zhi lowered her eyes, wanting to say more but ultimately didn’t. Suddenly deflated, she continued walking forward. “Let’s go. I have something to do later.”

Duan Jiaxu’s smile faded and he slowed his pace, following behind her. “Are you really angry?”

“No.”

“Brother just got bored after being hospitalized for so long.” Duan Jiaxu rubbed the back of his neck with his palm and added, “How about Brother apologizes to you?”

“No need.” Sang Zhi said softly, “Just don’t do it again.”

Seeing how much she minds, Duan Jiaxu’s eyebrows twitched, his emotions hard to describe. After a long pause, he seemed to find it both funny and vexing. He suddenly blurted out, “Is Brother that bad?”

“……”

“To make little Sang Zhi so unhappy?”

Hearing his words, Sang Zhi turned to look at him, her face expressionless. His eyes were slightly upturned, deep and captivating, his tone half-joking.

Seeing this, she inexplicably wanted to annoy him a bit.

Sang Zhi said seriously, “Yes.”

“……”

“Brother, I don’t mean anything else, I’m just telling the truth.” Sang Zhi said calmly, “After hearing it for the first time, I went back and cried all night.”

“……”

———pr

Duan Jiaxu was granted a half-month leave from the company. After being discharged, he could still rest at home for a week to recuperate.

Once out of the hospital, they hailed a taxi to Duan Jiaxu’s house.

There was only one pair of slippers at his place.

He glanced at them, and then, barefooted, placed the slippers in front of Sang Zhi for her to wear.

Sang Zhi put them on without hesitation. She told Duan Jiaxu to sit on the sofa for a while, then threw all the clothes they had brought back into the washing machine and put everything else back in place.

The slippers were large on her feet, making her walk a bit slower.

Afterward, Sang Zhi sat down beside Duan Jiaxu and took out a stack of sticky notes from her bag.

Duan Jiaxu lounged on the sofa, lazily playing a game.

Sang Zhi opened her phone, searched the web for post-hospital care tips, and combined them with the doctor’s instructions. She read them carefully and then copied them down one by one on the sticky notes.

Noticing her actions, Duan Jiaxu looked over and asked, “What are you writing?”

“Just some post-hospital care tips.” Sang Zhi explained without looking up. “I’ll stick them on the fridge so you can pay attention when eating.”

Having never taken care of anyone before, Sang Zhi wasn’t very good at it. She couldn’t remember many things, so she had to look them up online.

Duan Jiaxu’s movements paused and responded with a faint hum.

“By the way, don’t just sit around all the time. Move around a bit.” Sang Zhi said while thinking, “And don’t lift heavy objects or do any strenuous activities.”

“Okay.”

“And if you need anything, just let me know. I’ll buy it for you when I have time.” Sang Zhi said calmly, “But I probably won’t be able to come by much.”

“……”

“Take good care of yourself.”

“Mm.”

“I’ve fallen behind on a lot of assignments and it’s the end of the semester. I need to prepare for exams.” Sang Zhi looked up at him. “The meal I promised you will have to wait until you’re better.”

“No need for little Sang Zhi to treat me.” Duan Jiaxu chuckled. “Brother will treat you.”

Sang Zhi blinked. “Let’s talk about it when the time comes.”

She put down the pen, stood up, and stuck the sticky notes on the fridge. Then, she returned to the living room and put on her coat. “Brother, I’m leaving now.”

Duan Jiaxu stood up. “I’ll walk you to the subway station.”

Sang Zhi shook her head. “You should rest. You just got back from the hospital.”

“……”

“It’s not far from here. I know the way.” Sang Zhi said as she put on her shoes by the entrance and waved at him. “Goodbye, Brother.”

Without waiting for his response, Sang Zhi walked out the door.

With a bang, the door closed.

The house suddenly became quiet.

Duan Jiaxu was still processing everything. He exited the game, grabbed his coat, and walked out the door. However, Sang Zhi was already gone.

He pulled the corner of his mouth and went back inside.

Duan Jiaxu walked to the fridge and looked at what she had written.

After all these years, her handwriting had become noticeably more elegant. Unlike before, when writing was a painstaking process and a 500-word journal took over an hour to finish.

Duan Jiaxu’s expression turned a bit distracted as he gently rubbed the notes with his thumb.

He suddenly recalled his time in the hospital.

The old man in the neighboring bed, who was hard of hearing, kept praising Sang Zhi in front of him, firmly believing she was his wife.

——”You have such a beautiful partner who takes good care of you.”

After a long while, Duan Jiaxu walked back to the living room and inexplicably chuckled.

———pr

In December, the temperature in Yihe City had dropped below freezing.

Due to the weather and the upcoming exam, departmental activities have ceased. Sang Zhi, feeling too cold to move, spent her days either in class or holed up in her dorm, drawing and making videos.

Duan Jiaxu didn’t ask for her help afterward.

When he did contact her, it was only to remind her to take care of herself in the cold weather.

Sang Zhi changed Duan Jiaxu’s contact name to ‘Brother No. 2’ and started addressing him just as ‘Brother’ like she did when she was little.

She forced his identity in her mind to be as identical to Sang Yan’s.

Sang Zhi suddenly felt this was quite good.

She worked hard to cut off her feelings, ending this unattainable, fruitless secret love. She stopped obsessing, no longer believing she could only love one person her whole life.

Sang Zhi even began to look forward to it.

To a day in the future when she no longer had these feelings.

When he would introduce a woman to her as his girlfriend and she wouldn’t feel hurt. When the only thought she might have would be relief that he was no longer alone.

She might even, without any other thoughts, call that woman ‘sister-in-law’.

———pr

On the last night of 2015.

Sang Zhi’s three roommates went out to celebrate the New Year with others. Not interested in such events, Sang Zhi declined their invitations.

She planned to order takeout, take a shower, watch a movie, and then go to sleep.

The night would have passed just like that.

But before she could carry out her plan, Duan Jiaxu called her.

Sang Zhi answered while munching on chips.

Duan Jiaxu’s lazy voice came from the other end, always carrying a faint smile, “Little Sang Zhi, what are you doing?”

Sang Zhi glanced at the time and casually replied, “Getting ready to order takeout.”

“What takeout?” Duan Jiaxu smiled. “Come celebrate with Brother.”

The movements of Sang Zhi’s cheeks paused and then she quickly said, “I don’t want to go out.”

Duan Jiaxu casually said, “Then come keep Brother company for a meal.”

“……”

“Hmm? Why aren’t you saying anything?” Duan Jiaxu’s voice was slow, “Didn’t you say you’d treat me to a meal? Trying to back out now?”

Sang Zhi threw the chips back into the bag. “I’m not backing out. You didn’t mention it beforehand.”

“Then come out now. I’m outside your school.”

Sang Zhi couldn’t help but say, “You said I didn’t need to treat you before.”

Duan Jiaxu dragged out his words as if he couldn’t remember saying so, “Did I say that?”

“……”

This person was very strange.

He would always find her during holidays.

Since she was alone in Yihe, it seemed like he thought it would be pitiful if she spent the holidays alone. On Christmas, he had also looked for her, but when he heard she was with her roommates, he didn’t say anything further.

Sang Zhi hung up the phone, quickly changed clothes, and put on a scarf. She looked in the mirror and thought her complexion didn’t look good, hesitated, and then applied a thin layer of lipstick.

When she left the school, she was about to call Duan Jiaxu.

Raising her eyes, she saw his car and him in the driver’s seat.

Sang Zhi walked over and got into the passenger seat. Then she obediently greeted him before buckling her seatbelt.

Duan Jiaxu looked at her. “Why aren’t you going out to play?”

“It’s cold.” Sang Zhi replied honestly, “I don’t want to go out.”

“You’re so young but living like an old person.” Duan Jiaxu chuckled, starting the car. “What do you want to eat?”

Sang Zhi didn’t have any particular cravings. “You decide.”

Duan Jiaxu suggested, “How about hot pot?”

Sang Zhi nodded. “Okay.”

“Should I pick the place?”

“Mm.”

Duan Jiaxu drove to a commercial area a few kilometers away, near where he lived. But it was closer to the city library.

It was also not far from Yihe University.

The hot pot restaurant was a chain with only four or five locations in Yihe, and it was very popular. Many people were sitting outside waiting.

Sang Zhi hadn’t eaten there before. Smelling the aroma, she got interested and went to get a number.

They waited quite a while before getting a table.

Duan Jiaxu handed her the menu to order.

Thinking about Duan Jiaxu’s recent illness, Sang Zhi ordered clear soup and picked some meat and vegetables. She hesitated over the fatty beef for a long time before finally ordering it.

She handed the menu back to him. “Brother, see if there’s anything else you want.”

Duan Jiaxu glanced at it casually, picked up a pen, and crossed out the fatty beef she had finally decided on. He changed it to cuttlefish balls. “This will do.”

“……”

Sang Zhi gave him a look, swallowed her frustration, and started playing with her phone.

Duan Jiaxu poured some tea into her cup and asked, “When are your exams?”

“On the 11th of next month.”

“When are you going home?”

“After the exams.” Sang Zhi recalled, “Probably on the 20th.”

“Remember to book your ticket early. It’s hard to get tickets before the Spring Festival.”

Sang Zhi nodded. “Got it.”

The two of them chatted idly.

Soon, the people at the neighboring table finished and the waiter brought in two women just as the soup base arrived.

Sang Zhi put down her phone and looked up.

One of the women seemed familiar, but she couldn’t recall where she had seen the other party before.

The woman, however, seemed to recognize Duan Jiaxu. Her eyes paused on him and the smile on her face disappeared instantly. She let go of her friend’s elbow and walked over, her tone extremely overbearing, “Duan Jiaxu.”

Duan Jiaxu had been talking to Sang Zhi.

Hearing the voice, his expression paused and he looked up.

Sang Zhi followed suit.

The woman wasn’t particularly pretty, at best looking delicate, with meticulously applied makeup. Her expression was very gloomy, her eyebrows sharp. “If I hadn’t seen you here, I would’ve thought you were dead.”

As she approached, Sang Zhi smelled her perfume.

The scent triggered her memory.

The other party seemed to be the woman she had seen in the elevator when she went to Duan Jiaxu’s house last time.

Sang Zhi withdrew her gaze and subconsciously glanced at Duan Jiaxu.

He had also withdrawn his gaze, not looking at the woman. It was as if he hadn’t heard her as he lazily picked up the teapot and poured tea into his cup.

The woman questioned, “Didn’t you see my calls?”

Sang Zhi pursed her lips, suddenly feeling awkward sitting there. She tried to make herself less noticeable and took out her phone to play with it again.

“You called?” Duan Jiaxu picked up his phone, looked at it, then slowly raised his eyes, smiling gently. “Oh, I blocked you.”

“You blocked me?” The woman exploded, “What right do you have to block me?! F*ck you! You should serve me forever!”

Her voice was high-pitched and piercing.

Sang Zhi looked at the other party, a bit frightened.

The woman’s friend grabbed her, seeming confused. “Xiao Ying, what’s wrong? Who is this?”

The next moment, Sang Zhi saw the woman break free from her friend’s hold, grab a water-filled cup from the table, and throw it at Duan Jiaxu’s face.

He was caught off guard and couldn’t dodge.

He only had time to close his eyes.

The slightly hot water drenched him, running down from his hair, along his forehead, nose, and lips, before gathering at his chin.

Drip by drip.

He looked in utter disarray.

Sang Zhi was stunned, staring blankly at Duan Jiaxu.

The blood surged to her head and her reason gone. Sang Zhi clenched her fists, stood up instantly, grabbed the water on the table, and also threw it at the woman’s face.

The woman’s attention was focused on Duan Jiaxu and didn’t react in time. She screamed, “Who are you?! What the hell is your problem?!”

Upon hearing the noise, Duan Jiaxu opened his eyes.

He hadn’t expected Sang Zhi to react this way, and as he stared at her back, his gaze was somewhat stunned.

She was like a lioness protecting her cub.

Sang Zhi stood in front of Duan Jiaxu and retorted, “What the hell is your problem?”

“Is it any of your business?” The woman, noticeably less aggressive than she was in front of Duan Jiaxu, replied, “Do you know why I splashed him—”

“I don’t care about your reasons.” Sang Zhi interrupted her, enunciating each word clearly, “Auntie, if you resort to violence, who’s going to reason with you? And it’s not just about splashing water, if you dare hit him, I will also hit you back.”

“…….”

Sang Zhi’s tone was icy, “I don’t mind getting my hands dirty.”

The woman, embarrassed and angry, turned red in the face and raised her hand.

Noticing her movement, Duan Jiaxu immediately stood up and pulled Sang Zhi behind him. He stared at the woman with a cold gaze, a smile plastered on his face. “That’s not acceptable.”

“……”

“I do mind getting dirty.”

“…….”

At that moment, the hotpot restaurant’s manager arrived, trying to calm things down politely.

The woman’s friends dragged her away and she seemed to feel embarrassed as well as she did not insist on staying. However, her eyes were fixed on Duan Jiaxu, like a vengeful ghost.

The atmosphere relaxed instantly, but the people around them still threw occasional glances over.

Sang Zhi’s momentum dissipated immediately and she lost her appetite. She settled the bill at the counter before pulling Duan Jiaxu out of the hotpot restaurant, then she took a tissue from her bag and handed it to him.

Duan Jiaxu accepted it but didn’t make any other move. He kept his eyes on Sang Zhi, his gaze deep and unreadable.

His stillness made Sang Zhi anxious. She pulled out a few tissues herself and stood on tiptoe to wipe the water off his hair.

It was the first time Sang Zhi had encountered such a situation. Her eyes were red with anger and her tone was sullen, “Who was that person?”

“Someone irrelevant.” Duan Jiaxu finally responded, bending down a little. “Strictly speaking, she’s my dad’s former creditor, I suppose?”

This was the second time she heard the word ‘creditor’ from him.

Sang Zhi instinctively looked at him but didn’t ask in detail. “I seemed to have seen her the last time I went to your house.”

After thinking for a moment, she asked, “Does she act like that every time she sees you?”

Duan Jiaxu was silent for a few seconds before answering, “More or less.”

“That’s too scary.” Sang Zhi said as she took another tissue to wipe the water from his temple, muttering, “Does she have an issue regulating emotions? She suddenly resorted to violence just after a few words……”

Duan Jiaxu smiled and said nonchalantly, “Maybe I really did something to upset her?”

Sang Zhi looked at him, “Didn’t you say she was your father’s former creditor?”

“Hmm?” Duan Jiaxu’s tone was light, “I don’t even know if the word ‘former’ is accurate.”

“Your father’s creditor,” Sang Zhi paused her action, straightened her thoughts, and then seriously said, “regardless of whether it’s former or not, is your father’s creditor. It has nothing to do with you.”

——”It has nothing to do with you.”

Duan Jiaxu’s heart skipped a beat and his expression finally changed a little. He suddenly raised his eyes and looked at her.

Sang Zhi’s expression was serious as she wiped the water from his temple with the tissue. Fortunately, the tea had been sitting for a while, so although his skin was a bit red, it didn’t seem to be burned.

She continued speaking, “Anyway, I just saw her inexplicably splash you with water. My brother always says there’s no such thing as tolerating being bullied—”

Before she could finish her sentence, Sang Zhi’s gaze naturally lowered and she immediately stopped talking.

Duan Jiaxu’s gaze hadn’t moved.

It was at this moment that their eyes met again.

It was like going back to the time in the hospital when she helped him wipe his face.

That time, facing such an intimate act and such close proximity, he inexplicably averted his gaze.

As if he was backing down.

This time, the gap between them was even closer.

Her eyes were exceptionally beautiful, clear, and bright, glowing with a brilliant luster.

There was no aggression in front of him.

Completely different from the way she stood in front of that woman to protect him just now.

Compared to before, she had changed quite a bit. The baby fat on her face had faded, and her features had become more delicate and beautiful, not at all fitting the description of a ‘kid’.

He had never paid much attention to it and had directly ignored these changes.

But now, she seemed, indeed, quite different.

Duan Jiaxu could see the fine hairs on her temples, her extremely fair skin, and her rosy and full lips. Her breath, which was light and regular, brushed against his face.

It tickled a bit.

They stared at each other.

It seemed like only a few seconds, but it felt like a long time.

Duan Jiaxu’s Adam’s apple moved slowly.

Sang Zhi suddenly snapped out of it and retracted her hand nervously. “Brother, wipe yourself.”

Duan Jiaxu was silent for a moment, then softly responded, “Mm.”

Fearing that he might find her reaction abrupt, Sang Zhi hesitated and explained, “You’re too tall and you have to bend down when I wipe it for you.”

After speaking, she handed him the tissue, “Here.”

But he didn’t take it for a long time.

Sang Zhi looked up again and met his gaze once more.

Duan Jiaxu’s eyes were deep and slightly narrowed, with a small water droplet still clinging to his eyelash. He was staring at her openly giving her an electrifying feeling. Then he straightened up, his gaze unwavering, not showing any intention of restraint.

His expression was thoughtful as if pondering something.

Being stared at by him like this made Sang Zhi feel uncomfortable, but she didn’t think she had exposed anything. She was a bit embarrassed and annoyed, raising her voice, “What?”

“Nothing.” Duan Jiaxu paused for a few seconds, then lightly coughed, his brows softened with a touch of warmth. “I forgot to say, thank you for protecting me, little Sang Zhi.”

Sang Zhi reluctantly responded, “No need.”

She glanced around and suggested, “Do you want to buy some clothes nearby to change into?”

Hearing no response from him, Sang Zhi turned her head again and met his gaze for the third time. She frowned, suspecting there might be something on her face, and asked in confusion, “Why do you keep staring at me?”

“Am I?” Duan Jiaxu finally looked away, smiling with his lips curved. “Then I won’t look anymore.”

Sang Zhi’s expression was strange as she pointed, “How about that store?”

Duan Jiaxu smiled. “Okay.”

“Why do you keep smiling?” Sang Zhi couldn’t help but ask, “Were you splashed silly by the water?”

“Mm, seems like it.”

“…..”

Maybe it was the illness that clouded his mind, or perhaps it was the old man in the adjacent bed who brainwashed him day and night for a week, or maybe it really was the splash of water that muddled his thoughts.

At this moment, Duan Jiaxu suddenly wanted to be a scoundrel.