Secretly, But Unable to Hide It

Chapter 51

Whenever Duan Jiaxu spoke to her, he would habitually lower his head and lean slightly forward to meet her gaze at eye level.

Right now, they were only inches apart.

Sang Zhi could almost feel the warm breath he exhaled, tinged with the faint scent of tobacco that he always carried. His eyebrows were slightly drooping, his eyes holding a flicker of light as if laced with a subtle temptation.

Sang Zhi’s eyelashes fluttered as she uncomfortably took a step back. She said in a slightly awkward tone, “How do you even have the nerve to say something like that?”

Duan Jiaxu slowly straightened up, remaining calm and collected. “Isn’t it because I want to be a polite rogue?”

“……”

“If you don’t like hearing it,” Duan Jiaxu curved his lips into a smile, bent down again, and leaned closer to her, “then I’ll just—”

Sang Zhi’s expression stiffened as she nervously grasped the hem of her clothes. “Just what?”

With only a few centimeters left between them, Duan Jiaxu suddenly stopped, his gaze sliding upward to meet hers.

The young woman’s eyes were large and round, clear and bright, reflecting only him within them. Perhaps having never experienced anything like this before, her expression was slightly stiff, as if she had even forgotten how to breathe.

Yet she still pretended to be unaffected.

Duan Jiaxu straightened up, chuckled softly, and said, “Forget it.”

Sang Zhi instantly breathed a sigh of relief, but inexplicably felt a slight twinge of disappointment.

“Better to be polite.” Duan Jiaxu raised his hand and lightly brushed the corner of her eye, his voice low, ambiguous, and filled with affection, “I’m afraid you’ll cry.”

It was already past ten o’clock, and since she was living in a dormitory, Sang Zhi didn’t want to disturb her roommates’ rest and planned to head back early to wash up.

Duan Jiaxu walked her to the dormitory building.

Sang Zhi turned around, just about to say goodbye to him, when she noticed his gaze was fixed elsewhere, lingering for a few seconds. Following his line of sight, she saw a couple embracing and kissing, reluctant to part.

“……”

At this hour, many couples who had just finished their dates were gathered outside the girls’ dormitory.

The dim lighting of the night made it hard to see their faces, so most of them acted intimately as if no one else was around.

Sang Zhi had seen this many times and was long used to it.

But now, with Duan Jiaxu by her side thoughtfully looking over, she suddenly felt awkward.

“I’m heading in.” Sang Zhi cleared her throat lightly, awkwardly pulling his attention back. “Brother Jiaxu, it’s late, drive carefully.”

Duan Jiaxu withdrew his gaze and suddenly asked, “After three days of pursuing you, can’t we at least hold hands?”

“……” Sang Zhi stared at him expressionlessly, unable to help but retort, “How does that count as pursuing?”

“Hmm?” Duan Jiaxu raised an eyebrow. “Doesn’t it?”

“I’m just reminding you that the way you’re pursuing me, it usually doesn’t work.”

Duan Jiaxu let out an exclamation. “Then what should I do?”

“Why are you asking me?” Sang Zhi frowned, not giving him any face. “Do you really want me to teach you how to chase after me step by step?”

Duan Jiaxu paused for a moment, then shamelessly asked, “Why not?”

“……”

“I was just reminding you as a favor, don’t push your luck.” Sang Zhi said seriously, “You can look it up online or ask someone else.”

Duan Jiaxu chuckled. “What did I do wrong?”

“These past three days, it’s just been a few WeChat messages here and there and an occasional phone call between us.” Sang Zhi hinted, “To me, a suitor who hasn’t seen me in three days equates to having no chance.”

Duan Jiaxu replied, “But weren’t you busy?”

Sang Zhi countered, “How is it any different from being online friends?”

“……”

Sang Zhi continued to twist the knife, “At your age, are you still trying to learn online dating?”

Hearing her words, Duan Jiaxu’s eyebrows slightly twitched as he recalled the past. He looked at her with a faint smile and asked, “Who do you think I’m trying to learn from?”

“……”

Sang Zhi also remembered the ‘online crush’ she had fabricated and immediately felt guilty. She quickly waved him off and backed toward the dormitory building. “Anyway, I’ve said what I needed to say. Take it or leave it.”

———pr

This translation is by Pocketrobbin at S h a n g h a i f a n t a s y . c o m

Duan Jiaxu returned to his car but didn’t start it right away. He pondered Sang Zhi’s words, picked up his phone, and sent her a WeChat message, 【Are you free tomorrow?】

【Zhizhi: No.】

Her responses were always as brief as this.

Duan Jiaxu chuckled softly and added, 【I’m starting to suspect you’re lying to me.】

【Duan Jiaxu: Show me your class schedule.】

A picture came through instantly, filled with a dense array of classes. As if dissatisfied with his insinuation, Sang Zhi added a text, 【I really have a full schedule.】

Duan Jiaxu glanced at it. 【You really have.】

Sang Zhi didn’t reply.

Duan Jiaxu. 【I’ve wronged our Zhizhi.】

Sang Zhi still didn’t respond.

He tossed the phone aside and started the car.

There were few people out at night and the road was nearly empty. Duan Jiaxu lowered the car window halfway. Thinking of Sang Zhi, who was likely sulking in her dormitory, the corners of his mouth curved upward once more.

Duan Jiaxu’s thoughts drifted as he recalled seeing Jiang Ying earlier that evening.

Sometimes, he wondered if he was mentally unwell. Perhaps Jiang Ying was nothing more than a hallucination born out of his exhaustion.

Otherwise, how could a person do this?

Clinging to another for a decade without letting go?

She appeared in front of him from time to time, spouting similar, yet increasingly extreme, words. Her emotions hadn’t faded with time but had instead grown more intense.

She poured all the hatred that he shouldn’t have had to bear onto him.

After Jiang Ying pushed him down the stairs, a few classmates comforted him, advising him to avoid her as much as possible. Not long after, the incident, along with what the homeroom teacher had said, reached the school administration.

Eventually, the teacher was reprimanded.

Considering the relationship between Jiang Ying and Duan Jiaxu, the school transferred him to another class.

Later, many people told Duan Jiaxu not to take the teacher’s words to heart, nor to dwell too much on Jiang Ying’s actions.

But in truth, what Duan Jiaxu found more unbearable than the teacher’s words was that remark from a classmate.

——”How could he possibly expect Jiang Ying to apologize to him……”

That was the first time Duan Jiaxu felt his dignity had been trampled into the dirt.

Even though Jiang Ying had repeatedly ridiculed and attacked him with words in front of the class, he never minded and let it pass.

Because Duan Jiaxu believed that others had the same view as him.

They should all know that the incident had nothing to do with him.

But Jiang Ying, having just lost her father, was in pain, and thus her words were extreme, and she lashed out, taking her anger out on him. So, he could only try to understand and accommodate her as much as possible.

But after hearing that classmate’s comment, Duan Jiaxu realized that it wasn’t the case at all.

It turned out that secretly, some people thought he should pay for the sin his father had committed.

Whether it was the majority or just a few, that remark had a profound impact on Duan Jiaxu. It made him endure Jiang Ying’s various torments without complaint for some time afterward.

He tried to numb himself to it.

He didn’t want others to affect his life.

Duan Jiaxu could only force himself to understand that seeing him was like having Jiang Ying’s wounds reopened. So, he did his best to stay out of her sight.

But Jiang Ying’s thoughts were completely different from his.

She believed that if she was in pain, she had to make sure he didn’t live happily either.

After the class adjustment, Duan Jiaxu’s new class was on the fifth floor. His previous class had been on the third floor and had a considerable distance between the two, but Jiang Ying still found ways to come and bother him from time to time.

At that time, the high school entrance exam was approaching. Xu Ruoshu heard about the situation and, after consulting him, applied to the school for him to study at home.

Later on, Duan Jiaxu was admitted to Yihe’s No. 1 High School.

Jiang Ying, whose grades were poor, couldn’t get into the same school as him. It was only then that he gradually began to breathe easier.

……

Before he knew it, he had already arrived in his neighborhood.

Duan Jiaxu turned off the engine, picked up his phone to check, and saw that Sang Zhi had replied to him two minutes ago, 【I’m going to sleep, bye-bye.】

He replied, 【I’m home.】

She responded immediately with, 【Oh.】

Duan Jiaxu inexplicably smiled. Then, he took out the candy she had just given him from his pocket and popped one into his mouth.

———pr

Sang Zhi felt that the hints she had dropped to Duan Jiaxu were like stones sinking into the sea, with no response at all. In the following days, he acted no differently than before.

The only exception was on the weekends when they would have a meal together or watch a movie.

Then everything would return to how it was.

She felt that even if they started dating, it would probably feel like a long-distance relationship.

Logically speaking, Sang Zhi had said she was busy, but she still had to eat, right? He could’ve at least taken the chance to ask her out for a meal.

Other people, when pursuing someone, always find ways to create coincidental encounters.

But him? He chased after someone with a cool and distant demeanor.

Perhaps the last thing she said, “Anyway, I’ve said what I needed to say. Take it or leave it”, was something he silently answered in his heart with, “I’m not listening.”

The more Sang Zhi thought about it, the angrier she became.

She spat out the foam in her mouth, washed her face clean with face wash, and when she came out of the bathroom, she saw that Yu Xin was still not up. Sang Zhi knocked on her bed and asked, “Aren’t you going to class?”

After a few seconds, Yu Xin mumbled, “I stayed up late reading a novel last night. I’m dead tired now. Can you help me with the attendance? I’m not going.”

Sang Zhi nodded. She was actually tired too and felt a bit lazy to put on makeup, but in the end, she forced herself to draw her eyebrows and put on a layer of lipstick. After getting herself together, she quickly left the room.

This class was a public lecture in a large classroom.

Sang Zhi arrived early and most of the seats were still empty. She picked a seat in the fourth row by the window and sat down properly.

Glancing at her phone, Sang Zhi yawned and was about to rest her head on the desk to take a quick nap when she suddenly noticed someone sitting down next to her out of the corner of her eye. She instinctively looked up and her gaze froze in place, her expression dumbfounded.

The person in front of her was dressed simply in a white shirt and black trousers, with a clean and refreshing air. He turned his head to look at her, the corners of his lips curled as usual. “What a coincidence.”

“……”

“You’re taking this class too?”

“……” Sang Zhi was still in a daze, her breathing slowing, “Don’t you have work?”

“I’m off today.”

Sang Zhi scratched her head. “How did you know I was taking this class?”

Duan Jiaxu smiled. “Didn’t I ask for your schedule?”

“Oh.” Sang Zhi looked away and asked in a whisper, “Are you going to attend the class with me?”

Duan Jiaxu answered succinctly, “It’s a chance encounter.”

“……”

Leaving aside the fact that he didn’t go to university in Yihe, where did a nearly four-year graduate get the nerve to say those words?

There were still ten minutes before class started.

Sang Zhi grumbled, “You’re even dressed like a college student.”

Duan Jiaxu raised an eyebrow. “Do I look young?”

“Just okay.”

 “Alright, then I’ll dress like this from now on.”

“……”

Sang Zhi was still having trouble keeping calm after his sudden appearance.

She took out her book and rested her head on the desk, deciding to stick to her original plan before he arrived, while trying to calm down. “I’m tired so I’m going to sleep for ten minutes. If I fall asleep during class, the teacher will call on me to answer questions.”

Duan Jiaxu stared at her for two seconds, then smiled, “You get tired as soon as I arrive?”

Sang Zhi defended herself, “I was already tired.”

“Alright, go ahead and sleep.”

Sang Zhi closed her eyes, but his strong presence made her sleepiness disappear completely. Maybe it was just her imagination, but she felt that Duan Jiaxu was watching her.

After a while, she hesitated whether to change the direction she was facing.

But she was afraid it would seem too deliberate on her part.

Sang Zhi suddenly remembered that she hadn’t put on much makeup today.

Sigh.

Why didn’t he say something in advance?

Then she wouldn’t have been lazy.

Duan Jiaxu propped up his face, staring intently at her exposed side profile. Her features were delicate, her skin smooth and fine, and her lips were buried in the crook of her arm.

After a few seconds, her eyelashes trembled lightly.

Duan Jiaxu paused for a moment and then his peach blossom eyes curved into a smile.

The young woman was pretending to sleep.

With a playful glint in his eyes, Duan Jiaxu suddenly straightened up before slowly leaning closer to her. Then, he touched her cheek with his fingertips, while his lips lightly brushed against the back of his hand, making a faint sound.

In the next moment, he saw Sang Zhi open her eyes and lift her head.

Staring at his still-close face, her lips moved slightly as she looked at him in disbelief. Sang Zhi stared blankly for a few seconds as if trying to recall what had just happened.

Duan Jiaxu teased, “Why did you wake up?”

Sang Zhi snapped out of it. Her cheeks and even her ears burned, and her mind was filled with the words ‘stolen kiss’. She shouted in embarrassment, “Duan Jiaxu!”

It was the first time she had called him by his full name, which startled Duan Jiaxu. He laughed and asked in disbelief, “What did you just call me?”

“……”

Duan Jiaxu seriously reminded her, “Sang Zhi, mind your manners.”

“……”

“With the kind of relationship we have, calling me that,” Duan Jiaxu said slowly, “isn’t very appropriate, is it?”