She Lives without Regret in This Life

Chapter 1659: Chapter 1736: I Can’t Do It

His eyes suddenly darkened, his gaze burning hot like magma. That desire he’d finally managed to push down surged up again, clawing its way from the base of his spine through his whole body, howling madly, craving, just like every single day and night in his dreams. The want and the restraint made him go rigid all over, his heart was about to jump out of his chest.

"I can’t do it, I can’t do it." Meng Ping suddenly let go and turned to rush out.

Because Sheng Ning had been struggling hard, the moment he let go she fell straight to the ground.

Su Jiang ached for her, practically wishing he could shoot this bastard dead.

"Sheng Ning, are you okay?" Xu Mo was also startled by the sudden turn of events and hurried forward to check on her.

"I’m fine." Sheng Ning was helped up; it was winter and she was bundled up, so the fall wasn’t that bad.

"Good if you’re fine, I’ll go see how Boss is." Xu Mo gave an apologetic smile, grabbed his and Meng Ping’s coats and dashed out after him.

The compound was huge, and because it was New Year’s, many comrades who were usually away had come back, making it a bit livelier than usual. Xu Mo ran outside, saw their car still there and knew Meng Ping hadn’t gone far. After asking around he finally found him by a small pond inside the compound.

A thick layer of ice covered the pond; the kids from the compound were skating on it, no adults watching, everyone playing noisily. Meng Ping was sitting on a stone by the pond, smoking, only wearing a cashmere sweater. His back, against all that lively noise, looked completely out of place.

Xu Mo couldn’t help stopping, a strange feeling rising in his chest. His Boss had always been the one in the spotlight, doing whatever he pleased. Words like "lonely" weren’t supposed to belong to him. He was supposed to be willful, arrogant, utterly lawless.

And he had the capital to be that way.

Xu Mo zoned out for a moment until a shiver from the cold snapped him back. He stepped forward and helped Meng Ping into his coat. Meng Ping didn’t say a word, didn’t even move.

Xu Mo was even more shocked. On a normal day Boss would definitely be mocking him by now, saying things like he’s not interested in men so don’t waste your efforts on him.

"What’s wrong with you?" There was only one stone, nowhere for Xu Mo to sit, so he dragged over a little stool the kids used for playing and sat facing Meng Ping. With them sitting face-to-face, he finally saw Meng Ping clearly and was stunned.

"You..." He glanced at the cigarette butts on the ground, thinking luckily they weren’t cigars. If he’d smoked cigars all over the place, it’d be practically asking for death. Looked like Chairman Meng dragging him over for a lecture had done some good.

"You’re really upset?" Xu Mo asked gingerly, afraid his words would set off his tyrant of a Boss. Having worked with Meng Ping for a long time, he knew him fairly well. And Xu Mo was perceptive; from the way Meng Ping looked, it was obvious he still couldn’t let go of his old feelings for Sheng Ning!

"I’ve realized I can’t do it." Meng Ping flicked the cigarette butt to the ground and ground it out with his shoe, his voice hoarse as he said, "When she was avoiding me, when the accident happened, I secretly swore I’d let go in this life. Let her go, and let myself go too."

He paused, giving a smile that made one’s heart ache, and said self-mockingly, "I just want to protect her, but I’ve realized I simply can’t." God knows how every night he’s swallowed up by feverish dreams, dreams where Ningning loves him wholeheartedly, where he holds her in his arms and presses her into his body.

The harsher reality is, the more beautiful the dream. Every day he endures the torment of ice and fire, pain and joy separated by a hair’s breadth. He wishes he could stay asleep forever, never wake up.

Xu Mo said nothing; he didn’t know what to say.