Still, Wait For Me

In one’s life, there are many moments when one will be completely enveloped by a certain emotion, such as shame, fury, sorrow...in truth, if we can face and consider all this from a standpoint of many years later, these emotions will diminish greatly.

For example, perhaps you once really hated a certain classmate, filled with fury towards him. Yet, two, three years later, when you graduate and separate...this sort of hate will turn mild, even vanish or be converted to something else.

The only thing to which this logic does not apply is called longing.

For some people, after you lose them, your longing towards them will instead increase multifold. While you clearly don’t want to think about them, something will just inadvertently spark it off. You will be completely helpless to resist as he or she appears in your mind’s eye…

Even if thinking about them hurts, you will still dream about them when you sleep. Having used all methods, you will still be unable to control yourself.

Xu Tingsheng had been gone for a year. There had been no news of him whatsoever as it was like he had vanished off the face of the earth...to Xiang Ning, the difficult pain from before had long since ceased to be unforgivable. Instead, the goodness was becoming denser over time like wine.

As the eighteen-year-old Xiang Ning thought back on all that had happened since that person appeared when she was fourteen, she found that everything was just too ridiculously good. It even gave off the feeling of being not real...it was just like the fantasies of a teenage girl that were so unforgettable but they would no longer be in possession of once they woke up.

Yet, that was clearly not a dream!

Everyday, Xiang Ning would walk past Ning Garden, seeing the lit Little Pert Waist. She would always pass where they had once walked together before. She returned to their old home to stay, sleeping on his bed. His clothes were still hanging neatly in the wardrobe. Everything literally breathed of him in this flat.

Actually, it had already gradually ceased to be so painful. Xiang Ning’s personality made it such that she would try hard to think of things in a positive light.

Thinking of him far away, thinking of him by her side.

……

23rd July, 2008. Sunny.

I want to tell you a piece of good news. After a year of hard work in twelfth grade, study flunkie Miss Xiang has already been accepted by Yanzhou University.

The notification letter is just beside me.

Actually, Principal Grandpa already called and told me about this many days ago. Still, I was recording a song over at Big Sis Apple’s place and didn’t have time to tell you. I really felt nervous recording it. I didn’t sing well, and I even ended up crying...how embarrassing.

If you’ve heard it, you mustn’t laugh at me. Big Sis Apple and Big Sis Yuewei both didn’t laugh at me.

Right, if you’ve seen the MV, those two others on the sand at the end are them. They are waiting for you to come back too. Relax, I’m not jealous now. Still, I don’t know how it’ll be when you’ve returned.

I just really miss you.

From now on, I’ll be waiting for you at Yanzhou University.

Before you return, the traces of you there will accompany me.

When Principal Grandpa personally handed me the notification letter, he also asked me why you haven’t returned to school to take a look. He said that he can rest easy now. As long as Yanzhou University is able to capture me, they’re not afraid of you running away.

Principal Grandpa also welcomed me home. Yanzhou University will always be your home. So, it’s my home too. There, I don’t have to worry about anything.

I will sit where you sat before, read the books that you read before, walk the paths that you walked before, cross the bridges that you crossed before...I will listen to the old professors who taught you before as they conduct lessons, listen to them talk about how you were when you were like in Yanzhou University.

As for how you were like when by my side, only I know that.

……

7th August 2008. Slight rain.

There was a slight rain today. Do you know where I was before it rained?

I went to the riverside park. I also brought Dongdong with me.

Do you still remember that time when Dongdong caused trouble and you came to save me?

Dongdong’s even more mischievous now. Apart from seeming very afraid of Big Sis Du Jin, he’s afraid of no one. Still, it’s so strange that he’s actually so afraid of Big Sis Du Jin...it’s probably because he knows that she’s very awesome.

I brought it to the park again. It’s because I really want a fight…That way, you will appear, right? I know that you definitely will.

Still, if it happens again, I don’t want you to be beaten because of me anymore.

I want to protect you, Uncle.

Are you suffering?

Are you feeling okay?

Xiang Ning wants to hug you, coax you, protect you.

I go to the training institute to practise taekwondo everyday now.

……

19th August 2008. Skies cleared up.

……

Today, Huang Yaming and Big Bro Fu Cheng came to our home.

Actually, they’ve both been especially good to me in the time you weren’t here. I also often go to Ms Fang’s house to eat. Niannian’s even more beautiful now. Also, she can speak so well now.

It’s just that I want her to call me godmother, but she always calls me Big Sis. How sad!

Sometimes, we ask her: Do you miss godfather? She will look up and say: Miss, miss godfather.

Look, we all miss you.

Right, let me secretly tell you about something.

Can you guess who’s visited our home the most over this period of time?

You definitely wouldn’t be able to guess, because it’s that very fierce guy!

It’s Huang Yaming.

Speaking of him, of all your friends, he should be the one who hates me most. Actually, I dislike him a little too. Still, I’m mainly afraid. I’m really afraid of him...because not only is he fierce, he also often looks like he really hopes you don’t want me.

Even now, he still doesn’t like to speak to me.

Still, I know that he’s been secretly protecting me when you’re not around.

And guess what…

It’s the craziest thing.

Shh!

Big Sis Du Jin seems to like Huang Yaming.

I’m serious here! Through careful observation, I’ve discovered that the way Big Sis Du Jin looks at Huang Yaming is completely different from the way she looks at you, the way she looks at anyone else...she will be nervous, she will be shy, and she will accidentally fall into a trance.

Anyway, to Big Sis Du Jin, you possess much less charm than Huang Yaming.

She always looks like she can’t be bothered with you. Even towards such a good person like Fu Cheng, she doesn’t have anything to say. Yet, when with Huang Yaming, she always sits there and says a lot.

To be honest, I’m a bit worried. Huang Yaming is such a playboy. I’m afraid of Big Sis Du Jin getting hurt.

Wait, I almost forgot. Huang Yaming shouldn’t be able to beat Big Sis Du Jin in a fight, right? So, there’s no need to worry.

Say, does Huang Yaming like Big Sis Du Jin a bit too?

I guess that he definitely does. Otherwise, he wouldn’t come to our house so often...I returned from outside several times to find him chatting with Big Sis Du Jin in the living room. The two of them even looked very awkward when they saw me.

Finally, Big Bro Fu Cheng said that he’s waiting for you to come back before holding his wedding with Ms Fang.

Then, Ms Fang told me: Get him to hurry up and come back. Any longer and I’ll be old.

Hurry up and come back.

Even now, Big Sis Teacher hasn’t even had her engagement ceremony yet. They insist on waiting for you too.

…...

27th August 2008.

I received two calls today.

The first call was from Little Jinshan. He made me laugh for a long time. Still, when he said at the end that he missed you, I could tell that he was crying.

When he was crying, he even got me to say to you: Uncle Xu, where are you now? I’ll lead people in killing our way over to help you! What cannot be resolved with a few thousand people with knives? What people can’t we uncle and nephew render dead?

Look at him, always only learning bad stuff. At his age, he’s already like a gangster emperor.

When you’re not here, there’s only Little Carp who can restrain him sometimes.

The second call was from Uncle Hu and Uncle He of Xingchen Technologies. Oh, they’re so troublesome! Always saying that there’s this, there’s that, many many things. They always insist on having my opinion.

But how would I know about all that?!

So, I thought of a solution. I hired a new worker to represent me as chairman.

Can you guess who it is?

Right, it’s our study queen, Big Sis Yuewei. She’s already graduated from Qingbei University.

She was going to go overseas originally but later gave up on it. As for the reason, I’ll go easy on you and not say it first.

Anyway, I’ve already cheated her over to Xingchen.

With her around, you’ll definitely feel assured, right?

Me too. I feel very assured.

……

2nd September 2008. Sunny.

Today, Uncle and Auntie (Father and Mother-in-law) as well as Qiuyi (should I call her Big Sis or Little Sis?) came to see me.

Seeing that I’m about to start attending university, Auntie gave me a big red packet.

They’re even thinking about buying a car for me. What to do? I can’t drive.

Right, Uncle and Auntie had lunch with my Mum and Dad. Knowing that they had come, my Mum and Dad specially came over to cook for them. They had a great chat.

Can you guess what they chatted about?

Ha, I’m not telling you.

……

7th September 2008. Rainstorm.

There’s heavy rain today. I want to hide in your raincoat.

Just like before.