The Grand Secretary’s Pampered Wife

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At this hour, Jing Kong should have finished school.

Xiao Heng said, "I've already picked him up. He's gone to the garden to play with the Little County Princess."

The original plan was for Gu Chengfeng to pick him up and take him to Yangliu Alley for a few days, where he would be looked after by Lady Nan and Master Lu, so there shouldn't be any issues.

Who would have expected Gu Chengfeng to be knocked out into a pig’s head with one blow? Hence, Xiao Heng had to change the plan and brought the Little County Princess along to pick up her little playmate.

"Eat while it's hot." Gu Changqing said, "Or else the noodles will clump together soon."

Gu Jiao looked at the steaming bowl of noodles and didn't ask whether it was noodles or dumpling wrappers. She simply sighed and said, "It’s perfect to have food right after waking up."

Gu Chengfeng and Xiao Heng both let out a satisfied burp.

Yeah, really generous.

We and the few disciples from the Imperial Advisor's Hall in the kitchen are about to burst from eating too much.

In order to improve his cooking skills, Gu Changqing rolled out batch after batch of dough, making bowl after bowl of noodles, and this bowl they were eating was just out of the pot.

Fortunately, Gu Changqing’s culinary skills were still a bit better than Xiao Liulang's. Aside from its unappealing appearance, the taste couldn't really be classified as dark cuisine.

Gu Jiao hadn't eaten anything at noon. After getting off the operating table, she had collapsed into sleep and was truly hungry at this moment.

Gu Jiao remarked, "These sheets of dough have quite a nice chew to them."

Gu Changqing: …I made noodles, not sheets of dough.

Gu Changqing had heard Gu Jiao mumble about Yangchun noodles while he was watching over her, and since the cooks in the Imperial Advisor's Hall couldn't make authentic Yangchun noodles from the State of Zhao, he decided to cook for his sister himself.

While Gu Jiao was eating noodles, Gu Chengfeng recounted the incident of Old Master Han meeting Wang Xu to Gu Jiao once more: "… In short, Wang Xu is currently the only person who can recognize the Eldest Imperial Grandson, aside from the former Crown Princess."

Gu Jiao slurped up a mouthful of noodles, "Hmm, I see."

Just as her words fell, Wang Xu woke up.

He opened his eyes and immediately realized he was tied up. He looked around at the people in the room with a bewildered expression, completely unable to understand what had happened.

Just moments ago, there was only the Eldest Imperial Grandson; how did it turn into… a room full of people?

His gaze shifted back and forth between Xiao Heng and Gu Changqing before he finally realized that the man rolling the dough earlier was not the "Eldest Imperial Grandson," but the person right in front of him was.

And he had been wondering when did the Eldest Imperial Grandson’s back become so broad.

"Who are you people?" He asked suspiciously.

Gu Jiao walked over with her bowl of noodles, squatted down in front of him, and while slurping, asked, "Are you the unlucky guy?"

Wang Xu: "…"

Xiao Heng looked at Gu Jiao's small figure squatting on the ground with her bowl, slurping away, and wondered why this little posture seemed a bit familiar.

He looked over at the sleeping Shangguan Yan, and the corner of his mouth twitched.

Can we learn something proper?

"I’m asking you a question." Gu Jiao said.

Gurgle~

Wang Xu's stomach growled.

He turned his face away, trying his best to ignore the fragrant aroma of the scallion-topped Yangchun noodles.

But could ignoring it make a difference?

The sound of Gu Jiao slurping her noodles was enough to make anyone's mouth water!

He then heard Gu Jiao pin a major charge on him, "You disguised yourself as a disciple of the Imperial Advisor's Hall. Were you planning to assassinate the Eldest Imperial Grandson?"

Wang Xu turned his face back, sharply refuting, "You’re talking nonsense! How could I possibly assassinate His Highness the Eldest Imperial Grandson!?"

Gu Jiao responded with an "Oh," asking nonchalantly, "Then what are you here for?"

Wang Xu looked at the scallion-topped Yangchun noodles in her bowl, swallowed, and then said, "I… I received information that someone is impersonating the Eldest Imperial Grandson, so I came to verify the truth."

Gu Jiao asked, "So, did you manage to verify it?"

Wang Xu replied awkwardly, "No, I didn’t. Before I could finish exchanging the secret code, I was knocked out by your people."

Gu Jiao curiously inquired, "What secret code? Tell me about it?"

The three big men in the room all turned to look at Wang Xu, including Xiao Heng, who showed no change in expression.

Wang Xu had been stationed at the imperial mausoleum when Shangguan Qing was thirteen. During the first half of the year, he had no interaction with Shangguan Qing until one time, he got injured and returned to camp, where he bumped into Shangguan Qing. That night, Shangguan Qing had someone send him a bottle of jinchuang medicine.

At that time, he thought this kid was pretty good, and thus decided to teach him martial arts.

But the kid just wouldn't learn properly; instead, he often led him astray.

For instance, over the course of two years, he hadn’t managed to teach Shangguan Qing a single move, but Shangguan Qing had taught him quite a few peculiar secret codes.

Wang Xu looked deeply at Xiao Heng and declared seriously, "The Heavenly King covers the Earth Tiger!"

Gu Jiao replied without hesitation, "You're a dimwit."

Wang Xu was taken aback, staring at Gu Jiao in disbelief.

Gu Jiao slurped another mouthful of noodles and said with a satisfied sigh, "Did I get it right?"

Wang Xu was astonished, "You…"

This couldn't be right! This was clearly a secret code known only between him and the Eldest Imperial Grandson!

Gu Jiao: I bet a bag of spicy bar snacks that all the disciples in the Imperial Advisor's Hall know.

Gu Jiao pointed at Xiao Heng, "He taught me. Since the correct secret code was exchanged, it means he is the Eldest Imperial Grandson."

Frowning deeply, Wang Xu wondered why he couldn't believe this. They all looked more suspicious than the next!

With a thought flashing through his mind, Wang Xu furrowed his brow and said, "There's another code. I don't believe all of you can answer it!"

Gu Jiao said after she finished slurping her noodles again, "Go ahead."

Wang Xu said, "Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet!"

Gu Jiao replied, "East, west, south, north, white in the center."

Wang Xu was deeply shocked.

"Every cause will inevitably have its effect!"

"And I am your retribution."

Wang Xu shuddered!

He gritted his teeth and once again tried something tougher, "Yo, yo.”

Gu Jiao slurped up the smaller noodles, “Check it out, check it out.”

Wang Xu was shocked for the third time!

Gu Chengfeng patted Xiao Heng beside him on the shoulder and whispered, "What are they talking about? Do you understand?"

Xiao Heng thought to himself, if I understand, something would be seriously wrong with me.

What kind of nonsense was this? Did Xiao Qing really teach these things? Why did it sound so strange and unserious?

One crooked father was already enough. Could it be that he had a crooked brother too?

Wang Xu continued to throw out several more secret codes, and Gu Jiao matched every single one of them without making a mistake.

Wang Xu took a deep breath, glancing at Gu Jiao, then at Xiao Heng in the distance. Clenching his fists, he said, "At this point, I have no choice but to use my trump card. If you can even answer this, I'll believe he's truly the Eldest Imperial Grandson!"

"Alright." Gu Jiao calmly sipped the noodle soup, signaling him to continue.

Wang Xu narrowed his eyes, raised his chin, and with full confidence, declared, "This time, it’s not a secret code——it's a title! A title personally crafted for me by the Eldest Imperial Grandson! His Highness said, it's something all men in the world… aspired to be——"

Gu Jiao tilted her head, "Old Wang next door?"

Wang Xu: "…!!"

How do you even know that!

---

References

1. — As I explained before, this secret code came from a novel, used by bandits to identify each other. It has become a meme or internet joke with the latter half being changed into 你是二百五(You’re a dimwit, an idiot, stupid, etc.). It's become a light-hearted, playful way to mock someone or respond humorously in online conversations. 2. — "红橙黄绿青蓝紫, 东西南北中发白" is often used as a playful way to test one's knowledge of colors and directions. It is commonly known as a mnemonic or a playful way to remember a sequence. 3. — "百因必有果, 你的报应就是我" is commonly used in Chinese culture to express the idea of karma or that one's actions will inevitably lead to consequences, with a somewhat humorous or confrontational twist in the latter part of the phrase. The phrase has become popular in internet culture, particularly in memes and social media, often used in a playful or sarcastic context to imply that someone’s misdeeds will come back to haunt them, and it can serve as a form of witty banter. 4. — "药、药, 切克闹，切克闹 (yào, yào, qièkènào, qièkènào)" a transliteration of “Yo yo, check it out, check it out”, commonly heard in English raps. 5. — "Old Wang Next Door," is a phrase often used humorously to refer to a neighbor or someone who is perceived to be nosy, intrusive, or overly familiar. It has become a meme, often used in humorous or sarcastic contexts. It can refer to situations where someone is getting involved in others' affairs or gossiping. The phrase is also sometimes employed in relationship discussions, suggesting an affair or inappropriate behavior.

Raz P.'s Thoughts

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Description:

In the suspenseful supernatural novel “Records of Mortals,” Jiang Baiyan, once a solitary and impoverished youth, finds refuge in the Shi family of Chang’an due to his extraordinary bloodline. With his clear and captivating peach blossom eyes, this seemingly innocent young man conceals a fanatical and malevolent lunatic within. Destined to succumb to darkness amidst hardship and degradation, he becomes a harbinger of chaos.

When Shi Dai suddenly transmigrates, she takes on the role of the Shi family’s young lady, the one who subjects him to countless trials, eventually leading to her demise.

The twist? She never got to finish reading the novel.

From what she knew of the plot, Jiang Baiyan was just a silent, timid, and often bullied pitiable character.

***

Jiang Baiyan had never encountered someone like Shi Dai.

After he had slaughtered all the evil creatures in the garden, the blood-stained young man, exuding a murderous aura, approached her step by step, his lips curling into a malicious smile, "Scared?"

Shi Dai responded, “You’re really amazing! I applaud you until I spin like a spiral and fly around the moon three hundred times! And also——you have dimples when you smile!"

Jiang Baiyan: ...?

—

After seeing her at a lantern festival with another man, Jiang Baiyan lowered his eyes, his fingers twirling her hair. He said in a mocking and sinister tone, "The mansion in the western suburbs...if I hide you there, no one will find you, right?"

Shi Dai replied, "Does it come with meals and lodging? Can I sleep in everyday? Oh, and your cooking is the best!"

Jiang Baiyan: ...?

—

Jiang Baiyan was supposed to dislike her, even hate her, but as their separation drew near, his eyes turned red and he grabbed her sleeve, pleading, "Don't abandon me, alri—”

Shi Dai responded, "Alright, alright, I’ll only have you. Mwah."

Jiang Baiyan: ...?

He hasn't finished his lines yet though…