The Innkeeper

Chapter 1838: Princess Almira II

"Aaa," the baby exclaimed while laughing, leading her undead army as she ran from the hundreds of babysitters who were trying to catch up to her.

Though all the immortals were obviously much stronger than her, they dared not use their powers to catch up to her. At most, they only exerted the strength akin to a Peak Nascent Soul cultivator - same as the baby.

"That’s Almira," said Lex as looked at the baby fondly - clearly fitting the image of an uncle who was willing to spoil his niece! "She’s Anita’s and Qawain’s daughter. Although one of her parents is a sword, and the other a lich, she was born as a High Human, with a cultivation at the peak of the Nascent realm. Her body and abilities fully match those of her cultivation realm, but her mind still works with the simplicity of a baby’s - probably because of all her mother was exposed to at the Inn over the years."

While Lex spoke, a massive streak of sword intent shot through the land, cutting apart mountains and anything else in its path.

"Anita’s recovering from the exhaustion of childbirth, and Qawain is with her, so we’re acting as her babysitters until they’re available again," Lex explained as he summoned his weapons: a babyleash and a bottle of warm milk.

"Babypoweder!" Giselle suddenly exclaimed out loud, earning an odd look from Lex. "No, nothing. Sorry, I was a little distracted."

Giselle blushed as she tried to act nonchalant. She had finally figured out that oddly familiar smell on Lex: it was Spirit Sparkle Baby Powder - the best brand of baby powder used by cultivators in all of the Jotun Empire!

"Even if she is born with a Nascent Soul cultivation, that’s no reason to give a baby a sword," Giselle suddenly said, her slight embarrassment gone, replaced by a stern expression. "Babies don’t know any better and can hurt themselves or others. And why is she only wearing one shoe? Is this how you babysit? Her dress is also wet, and for goodness sakes is she being haunted by a malevolent ghost?"

Lex suddenly turned to look at little baby Almira and quickly spotted the ghost Giselle was talking about.

"Oh, no she’s not being haunted," Lex explained, understanding the confusion. "Her older brother is a Cthulhu, so he conjured up an aberration for Almira to play with. Then Almira copied him and learned to summon these chubby little undead from somewhere. It’s been total chaos ever since."

Lex smiled at her, as if the explanation exonerated him from any wrongdoing, but instead of looking at him with understanding, Giselle only glared at him.

"Lex Williams! You cannot let a child just cause chaos willy-nilly! Kids need rules, discipline and structure. If you spoil her rotten she’s going to grow up to be a brat instead of the strong and capable woman she has the potential of being!" she scolded, addressing a very serious concern.

"Yeah I get you, but I feel like all of that should be the parents job. I’m sure her parents will raise her right. As her uncle, shouldn’t I be the one sneaking her off to have late night snacks and an occasional adventure or two?" Lex asked, genuinely feeling like his role as the fun uncle was being threatened before it even began.

"LATE NIGHT SNACKS?" Giselle repeated, as if Lex had said the most horrendous thing ever! "Babies have a very strict bed time and meal time schedule! You cannot play with their nutritional intake just because you want uncle points! And babies absolutely should not be awake after eight pm!"

"You’re not wrong," said Lex, understanding that the two of them had very differing views on the subject. "But that’s for normal babies. Almire is a Nascent Soul baby. She could probably go weeks without needing to sleep, and food is more of a hobby at that level than nutritional..."

Lex had to stop speaking so he could duck to avoid the shoe Giselle threw at him. The silverheaded ballerina was staring at him with her fists clenched and a seething anger that actually made her look kind of cute.

"You... you... you idiota! Cultivation does not negate biology! A baby is a baby, and she needs structure. Her brain is developing right now, and so is her understanding of how the world works. If she starts thinking that the whole world revolves around her and that she can do whatever she wants, then that’s how she’ll behave when she grows up. Now you march on over there, take back your sword, and get her changed for bed. Cultivator or no cultivator, baby or no baby, it does not behoove a lady of any age to be in public with a wet shirt."

Lex scratched his head, wondering if he really had let things go so far. Was there really a need to take things so seriously?

He turned and looked at Almira, only to see her command her undead army to attack the other babysitters.

"Fine, geez, I’ll tell her to stop. No need to scold a guy," Lex muttered before teleporting away.

Lex appeared right in front of the mole stopping it dead in its tracks. While the undead listened solely to Almira, Domination had a way of stopping everyone in their tracks. Of course, Lex only exerted Domination on the undead mole, not Almira.

The baby looked down at her mount in confusion, before noticing Lex. Recognizing him, she grinned and waved her rattle.

"Gaga," she said melodiously, clearly very advanced for her age of two months old.

"No, no gaga for today," Lex said with a tone of disappointment. "We have to get you changed, your shirt is all wet. And after that, it’s time for your milk."

Without complaining, Almira unhooked herself from her baby chair and flew into Lex’s arms, regaling him with her tale filled with gaga’s and googoo’s, waving her rattle throughout. Of course, she never waved Naraka randomly. Even a newborn baby knew not to wave her sword around unless she wanted to cut something.

"Oh, tell me more," said Lex as the little princess continued to speak to him. The two of them left towards the Midnight Tailor, where Geeves was readying her a new onesie for today. When Giselle asked him why they were going to the tailor, Lex’s explanation that he had her a fresh onesie made everyday only made her sigh with exasperation.

Lex used to be a smart, intelligent guy, so how did becoming an uncle turn him into a complete idiot? She rubbed her temples as she tried to prevent a headache while thinking of ways to keep Lex from spoiling the baby too much.