The Innkeeper

Chapter 2332: Holy War

Lex’s relationship with Deities was complex. To say that every Deity he had encountered was his enemy would be false - some of them even worked for him. Orin the Deity of Hammers from the Midnight Realm, Vinei the Deity of Darkness from the Crystal realm, and Bob were all Deities that he had good relationships with.

However, to date, the strongest and most vile characters Lex had ever faced were also Deities. Ra and his daughter Sekhmet were responsible for so many of the problems he faced. Ironically, Bastet, Ra’s other daughter, was Lex’s first guest and the one responsible for him getting Regal Embrace.

Then again, there was also the HOA, an organisation of what Lex assumed to be evil, exiled Deities who were dedicated to doing evil stuff.

In short, while not all Deities were bad, they all warranted caution when dealing with them for they weren’t exactly simple characters.

Jack looked at Bob and considered his concerns. While he could not claim to understand Bob’s issue with Mondays, he certainly wanted to investigate the issue revolving around the cross realm proselytizing. Surely the higher ups of the realm were already aware of it, and had allowed it to happen or he wouldn’t have encountered such a situation.

"Take me to them," Jack said, standing up and patting down his clothes. "Let me see for myself what these missionaries are up to."

Bob seemed pleased by Jack’s response, clearly taking this to mean that the captain was giving this issue of Monday’s his utmost attention.

"Beware, captain, for those that preach the ideology of Monday are the most insidious of all. The slightest carelessness will allow them to creep up on you like a 6 am alarm you forgot to disable, ruining the glory of the weekend and trapping you in a bog of despair."

Jack shivered, as if experiencing some long forgotten trauma that had been refreshed by Bob’s words. He had to give Bob some credit - there was nothing worse than a Monday morning alarm.

Jack, Bob and Ollie left the Jolly Rancher, with Ollie hiding in Jack’s shadow as he followed them out into the town. The strange appearances of the buildings in this place did not really bother Ollie, who was used to living in a tree before the Jolly Rancher, but Jack could not help but speculate on the odd choices. For example, some buildings were made in the shape of a boot, or a jewelry box.

While the buildings themselves were a little odd, the residents of the town were ordinary enough. In fact, a majority of them were in the mortal realms, going about their daily lives with a hint of wariness.

The unexplainable dread that had affected them some time ago was still fresh in everyones memories. Perhaps that was exactly why Jack found a large crowd gathered in the town square, listening to the preaching of a missionary.

"Unlike other Deities, Lord Oracle’s gospel is fixed, and with a measurable response. Instead of offering vague and ambiguous promises, Lord Oracle is quite straight forward in what he promises," preached the missionary, a Beast man of the canine family.

"Miracles are less mysterious and more standardised, but they’re also easier to anticipate and ask for. Lord Oracle does not require constant worship. Every time you desire something, there is a fixed exchange rate for worship that can get you what you desire. What’s more, your worship can be credited in times where you lack desire, and saved for a critical moment!

"Do you want to be healed for a mortal ailment? Seven days or one hundred and sixty eight hours or worship can cure any mortal target. Do you want to avoid disaster? Depending on the size of the disaster and number of people you want to save, you exchange a few hours to a few weeks of worship.

"Or, if you lead a town or city, you can organise faithful rituals for expanded feedback. If you attain the status of a recognized preacher with a certain number of followers for Lord Oracle, you can even ask for miracles in advance and pay it back in monthly installments!

"There is no reason to doubt, for Lord Oracle is always transparent in his exchanges and his rewards for his followers. Instead of praying hopelessly and endlessly for a response that might never come, it’s much better to follow Lord Oracle for a guaranteed response!"

Jack crossed his arms and stared at the missionary, not only taking in Oracle’s message and learning about the Deity, but also learning about the missionaries and observing the divine energy that filled their bodies.

He could immediately feel the difference. Unlike ordinary missionaries, who were filled with the divine energy of their respective Deity within their bodies, these ones carried the divinity in an external container - one made of the very same divine ore that made up Lex’s necklace.

What’s more, Jack could also tell that these containers were connected to some distant entity, perhaps not even in this realm, constantly being refilled with divine energy so that they don’t actually ever run out.

"Bob, do you think Oracle is in the Folklore realm, or is he somewhere else?" Jack asked as an idea came to him - one that he could not ignore.

"How could a coward step out of the shadows and into the light? He is surely not within this realm," Bob exclaimed passionately as he stared at the missionary with a burning hatred.

Jack nodded, for he too felt like that was the case.

"Alright, I’ve seen enough. Let’s go back," said Jack as he turned around.

Bob gave the missionary one last, hateful look before quickly following Jack. Within the chambers of the Jolly Rancher, a meeting of the highest order was called, and certain matters of the utmost secrecy and importance were discussed.

A few hours later, the crew left the ship and toured the city as if everything was new and exciting. Rose, who was mostly oblivious about what was happening, especially enjoyed the outing as it served to expand her horizons.

That night, after gathering all the information that they wanted, the crew took advantage of the moonless sky, and spread out across the town in secret. Then, just as the clock tower in the shape of a shawarma roller struck midnight, the struck.

With each ringing of the tower, one of the crew members struck. They were not assassinating any targets, nay. They were simply... appropriating the divine items in the possession of the missionaries to better help them make use of such valuable resources!

The loud noise of the ringing bell drowned out the sounds of the crew’s actions, yet not everything could always go smoothly. The target that Jack was assisting in safeguarding his possessions was the strongest of the group, and he managed to sense Jack’s actions and managed to resist being... assisted.

"I sensed your malicious gaze from a mile away," the missionary claimed, glaring at Jack with unfathomable disgust in his eyes. "Do you really think it is so easy..."

Before he could finish his sentence, Jack attacked again, this time holding nothing back.

"Yes, I really think it’s this easy," Jack said as he caught the missionary mid-speech.

The missionary crossed his arms, blocking the attack successfully.

"Heh, feeble pirates. You cannot fathom the... hey, where did you go?" the missionary asked as he lowered his arms and found that Jack was missing. For a moment he felt smug, as if he had guessed that the robber had run away. The next moment he realized that the item providing him with divine energy seemed to have disappeared.

In the middle of the night, the Jolly Rancher rushed into the sky amidst the sounds of Bob’s laughter, settling amidst the sea of clouds, hidden from view from the town underneath.

Jack sat back in his room, observing all the items he’d gotten. They were mostly weak, which is what anyone should expect from items stolen from mortal missionaries. Yet he didn’t care about that.

What Jack found interesting was that his paladin powers... could absorb the remaining divine energy with those items, purify them, and then absorb them to strengthen Jack. This was a form of cultivation for paladins neither Jack nor Lex had ever encountered before, but it was highly interesting.

Besides that, if he could purify the divine ore and then somehow send it to Lex... the thought filled him with excitement.

"Bob, I have witnessed first hand the vile nature of Oracle," Jack said as he approached the Drama-cat. "The plague of Mondays cannot be allowed to spread unchecked. Spread the word, we will initiate the Holy War to save the common people from the unjust, unspeakable terrors that Oracle preaches."

Bob fell to his knees and he cried. He cried, for where else would he find someone so enlightened!

"But Oracle cannot be our only target," Jack suddenly said, freezing Bob where he kneeled. "We must keep an eye out for all sacrilegious Deities like this. Though the burden of righteousness may be great, we will carry it with unwavering hearts and unbending backs."

As he spoke, Jack absorbed the divine energy from all the items, and felt the bottleneck keeping him from the Heaven Immortal realm loosen.