The S-Classes That I Raised

Chapter 278: When You Accept It (2)

I returned to the empty space where only a shallow puddle remained—what was left of the King of Harmless. My hands were still cold. Stiff like the limbs of a corpse with no blood flow. The snow that had clung to them turned into droplets and dripped down. Dropping from my sleeves, from the tips of my hair.

— Chirp chirp.

— Daddy.

I wanted to answer, but my lips wouldn’t move. My whole body felt heavy, like it was stuffed with water-soaked cotton. I didn’t know how to move, so I stood there blankly, and finally said:

“…I’m okay.”

I’m okay. I can go back. I already got one chance—there will surely be a second.

“I’m okay. I really am.”

— Chirrp.

“Chirp, can you get back safely? It might be dangerous.”

It would probably exit through the original dungeon. I didn’t know if it would truly be dangerous for Chirp. I gently cupped the floating baby bird in both hands.

“I don’t know what you really are, or what your purpose is.”

— Chirp.

“But thank you.”

Whatever you are, the one certain thing is that you brought me to Yuhyun. Chirp flapped his tiny white wings. The fact that he knew exactly where Yuhyun was—did that mean he was connected to the White Bird? He had white feathers, so maybe he was part of the same kind.

The White Bird that took Yuhyun.

I still didn’t know the reason. At first, I was angry and resentful. But now, I even felt grateful.

If Diarma had taken him instead, I can’t imagine how my brother would’ve been treated. But the White Bird carried Yuhyun away gently, without a single wound. If it keeps protecting him like that—until I come to bring him back.

And if, when the time comes, it doesn’t interfere—I’ll be truly thankful.

“…Myungwoo must be worried. Let’s hurry back.”

— Chirp!

Chirp tilted his head. Did he not understand?

“Myungwoo, I mean Myungwoo! You ate all those magic stones at his house. You remember, right? Go to Myungwoo.”

Chirp! With that, Chirp vanished. Hopefully, he made it back properly.

— I have to sleep now, Daddy.

Changeling flew over in front of me, meeting my eyes.

“Thank you, too. Really.”

Even knowing what feelings I had when I crafted the magic stone, Changeling looked at me with warmth in those golden eyes, and I felt a pang of guilt. Changeling swished his long tail. His fluttering wings sparkled like a prism.

— It won’t take long. I’ll seal the mana imprint again. Be careful, Daddy.

“I’m fine. Don’t worry.”

The silver baby dragon’s form dispersed like a mirage. Instantly, the scenery around me shifted. Birds chirped between lush trees. And then—

“Hyung!”

Yuhyun.

“Mister!”

And Yerim.

— Kyang!

“Mr. Han!”

Peace and Noah ran toward me.

“Chief Han made it out safely too… No one’s left behind, right?”

Moon Hyunah looked around me for no reason.

“Seems like you came out a bit late.”

Seong Hyunjae scanned me sharply from head to toe.

“What is this, hyung…”

Yuhyun’s expression darkened as he looked down at my torn sleeve and the hole in my pants. The pants had blood on them, even if the sleeve was just ripped. Right.

“Mister, are you hurt?!”

— Grroooowl.

“I’ll heal you right away!”

“No, I’m fine. Yuhyun, Yerim, really, it’s nothing.”

I smiled as I said I was okay. And it almost felt true. Yuhyun frowned as he checked over my body. Yerim joined him, and Peace rubbed against my injured leg. Noah and Moon Hyunah also voiced their concern.

The tightness in my chest, the heavy weight—it finally started to ease. Yeah. I’m okay. I have to be okay.

“Yuhyun.”

My little brother. He looked up at me with a pout, sulking. Pouting again.

“What you lost, I…”

My throat closed up mid-sentence. Wait, my hands. Both my hands were…

Empty.

“…Hyung?”

Gone. I’d definitely had it in my hands. Right up until I went there. But while I was holding Yuhyun. While I held him… what did I do? The chill crept back into my limbs, my chest crushed once again. No, it can’t be.

“What’s wrong, hyung.”

“Mister? Did something happen while we were gone?”

My fingertips trembled. I hadn’t even noticed. That the orb holding my brother’s memory had rolled out of my hand. How could I make such a stupid mistake…

I lost it. After leaving my brother behind—I lost even that memory. In the end, I brought back nothing. My hands were completely empty. Not even that… not even that could I manage.

Crack. Something inside me broke. That thin thread I’d been clinging to.

“I… I’m sorry…”

“Hyung, what’s going on—”

“Yuhyun, please, just for a moment…”

Don’t look. I had to get out of here. I had to run. I didn’t even know why, I just had to.

“Hyung!”

“Let go, let go, let go!”

I shook off Yuhyun’s hand as he tried to hold me. I stumbled away, flailing like I was trying to escape something. I couldn’t breathe. It felt like someone had jammed their fist deep into my throat.

“Sir, please calm down. Yerim, you too. Hunter Noah, stop him.”

“Move!”

“What are you even trying to do, rushing like that!”

Someone picked me up as I staggered aimlessly. Long strides carried us away quickly.

“Breathe.”

“Gah—huff—kuh… ugh…”

A hand patted and brushed my back. But I still couldn’t breathe properly. It felt like my throat might rip open at any moment. I wanted to throw something up, but nothing came. It was completely blocked. Like trying to force a boulder through a coin-sized hole. It hurt. It hurts.

“Han Yujin. Yujin-ah.”

“Huuh… ngh, ugh…”

“It’s okay to cry. No one can hear you out there.”

My eyes were dry, and my throat still felt strangled. Only a choked rasp escaped my lips.

I’m not okay. I’m absolutely not okay. How could I be? How am I supposed to be? How am I supposed to sleep, eat, breathe? How do I just… go on living?

My insides burned. Like I’d swallowed fire. It was turning to ash. No—maybe it had already burned out long ago, leaving nothing but ash.

A broken gasp came out, not even a proper sob. How was I even still alive like this? I was a mess. Truly.

“…Hyung.”

“Ugh, haah…”

Yuhyun stood in front of me. I tried to wriggle away, but the arms holding me didn’t budge.

“Hyung.”

My brother lowered himself. He knelt before me, looking up with gentle eyes, saying nothing, not rushing me, just waiting.

“…Koff! Hahh, huuh…”

With that gaze, the breath that had been stuck finally burst out. My throat still burned, and every breath felt like it was melting the inside of my chest. The hands holding me slowly let go. As I collapsed, Yuhyun caught me. I grabbed onto his arms in return.

My broken gasps turned into sobs. Harsh, ragged cries like a dying animal. I cried like I was dying. I let it all out—all the things I’d been holding in for so long. Until I was an empty shell.

And even then—

“Yuhyun, I…”

Not everything was gone. There was still something left. More than I expected. Things that had built up over the not-so-long time we had now.

Just enough that I didn’t completely collapse, that I could still speak.

“I’m not okay…”

“…Yeah, hyung.”

“I’m really not okay, and maybe I won’t be… for a long time.”

They say wounds heal. But some scars you carry for life. They might fade to the point where you forget they’re there—but sometimes, they get worse. Sometimes they throb, split open. Just like how people say old wounds ache when it rains, something that seems small to others could become a downpour for me.

“I… Yuhyun…”

I’ll never forget. I’ll bury it in my heart and layer things on top of it, but it’ll never disappear. It’ll surface suddenly, hit me in the chest, make me stumble.

“I’ll keep hurting, keep struggling. And maybe that’ll make you—and everyone else—worry. I want to say I’m okay. I should be okay…”

“It’s okay, hyung.”

Yuhyun hugged me.

“It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to hurt. Of course, I wish you didn’t hurt—but you don’t have to force yourself.”

He whispered gently, tenderly.

“I love you no matter what, hyung. Even if you’re so tired that you want to give up everything. No matter what you choose or decide.”

“…Sorry, Yuhyun. I…”

“It’s okay.”

After a brief pause, Yuhyun continued.

“To be honest, it hurts to see you suffer. But I’m also… happy.”

“…Huh?”

“I’m happy that you told me. That you leaned on me.”

I lifted my head. Yuhyun was smiling faintly.

“So I’m even sorrier, hyung. I wonder if that makes you uncomfortable.”

“No. No, not at all. I’d be happy too if you told me everything that hurts you.”

His smile deepened. I didn’t have much strength left, my whole body felt limp, but my heart felt lighter. Like I was soaking in warm water. Gentle, clear ripples washing over me.

I let out a long breath and smiled back. It’s okay to not be okay.

“May I extend a hand?”

Seong Hyunjae’s voice came from behind. When I turned, I saw him holding a soundproofing item in one hand. Standing tall, guarding us.

“Do you still have a hand to offer?”

“Of course I do.”

He extended the arm he’d once lost. I grabbed it and stood. Then I reached out my hand to Yuhyun. He didn’t need help standing, but he took my hand and rose with me.

“Well then, thank you.”

Embarrassment hit me late. My face must’ve been a mess. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d cried like that. Before Seong Hyunjae could say anything, I quickly started walking, saying the others were probably worried.

“Mister!”

— Grruh, ?

“Mr. Han, are you alright?”

Yerim, Peace, and Noah all came running with Moon Hyunah close behind. She gave me a worried look too. It was embarrassing—but also, I was grateful.

“I’ve just been going through a lot lately. And before we got out, I ran into that jellyfish guy. The one who dropped us into that weird dungeon.”

“Hyung!”

Yuhyun paled. Yerim and Noah were flustered too. And then the nagging began. I mean, come on, this time I really was just the victim. I didn’t even start it!

“So that beast protected me. The King of Harmless is dead too.”

I briefly explained that a beast, born from the magic stone I crafted, had immense power—though it was single-use—and that it resolved the situation. Seong Hyunjae’s gaze held a hint of something meaningful, but he didn’t comment further.

“First, let’s clear the dungeon. We don’t know how much time has passed outside.”

“Here, Mister.”

Yerim created a lump of water the size of a washbasin and held it out to me.

“Your face is a mess.”

“Thanks.”

After washing up with the comfortably lukewarm water, a hand towel was offered to me. Noah healed me with a skill, just in case, and Peace enlarged himself to stand by my side.

“Hey, Mister.”

Yerim, saying I looked super tired, quietly whispered as she urged me to ride Peace.

“This time… it felt like it had something to do with Han Yuhyun, so I held back, but… I wanted to go with you too.”

I couldn’t help but smile at her words, that she definitely wouldn’t miss out next time.

“Yeah, of course you should. I’d be sad if our Yerim was left out.”

Yuhyun climbed on behind me, as if to protect me, and we set off. Since it was an A-rank dungeon, our current group would clear it quickly. Everyone split up in different directions to finish it faster.

Perhaps thinking of me, Peace walked slowly, with barely any sway. Leaning against Yuhyun’s back, sleepiness washed over me. It was that pleasant exhaustion you feel after a good, hard cry.

‘I should tell them everything.’

To as many people as possible—at least to my brother. Even if the Unfilial Children forbid it until the very end, I’ll still tell him. As long as the world doesn’t literally end the moment I do, I will.

That you saved me.

I didn’t want to talk about the painful years. But I wanted to say how I was able to be here now. How we were able to be together again.

And that I’m happy now—even if I’m covered in scars.

“When we get outside, there’s something I want to tell you.”

I spoke with my eyes half-closed. Aside from the occasional distant screeches of monsters, everything—the rustling wind, the shifting green shade—felt peaceful.

“Then I’ll tell you something too, hyung. There’s something I’ve never said.”

“Huh? What is it? I’m just saying this in case, but you don’t have to force it.”

I felt Yuhyun shake his head.

“It’s about me.”

“You?”

“Yeah. The part of me I hate.”

What… what’s this all of a sudden? My sleep vanished instantly. I quickly turned my upper body to look back at Yuhyun.