The S-Classes That I Raised

Chapter 568: Familiar Work

[Victory upon opponent’s death or inability to continue combat.]

[Death and injuries in this space do not carry over to reality.]

[Forfeiture is possible.]

Messages popped up one after another. There was also a warning that the video might be censored depending on the combat situation. But these messages were irrelevant to me. How could I broadcast this right now?

“…I don’t recall writing my name on the questionnaire.”

I muttered blankly and quietly.

“The survey was probably a deception.”

Han Yujin opened his mouth.

“There wouldn’t have been many people who wrote honestly anyway.”

Honestly, huh. I… As if reading my thoughts, Han Yujin continued.

“You wanted to kill me. Not that it’s surprising.”

His nonchalant manner reminded me of the Han Yujin from the Christmas dungeon. We had a knife fight back then too. It was a distressing memory, but thanks to it, I actually felt calmer.

“Yeah, well. If we assume it’s about choosing the person I most want to punch, then that could be it.”

No need to panic. It’s not the first time I’ve experienced this. Besides, the Han Yujin in front of me right now is probably a disposable entity, not even a dungeon monster.

“Though the feeling is dirty. So it seems you’re aware that you’re a fake.”

“It feels like a kind of mirror. Not even an independent clone, just that whichever side wins, the remaining one becomes the real one.”

“Uh… okay.”

Things like this were uncomfortable, as expected. That guy must feel even worse. Whether a shadow or whatever, he has a self for now. He probably has the same memories, but if his fate is to be consumed and disappear soon, I couldn’t even imagine how that would feel.

“That dumb bastard.”

Han Yujin smirked upon seeing my expression.

“Who’s pitying whom?”

“No, sorry if I offended you.”

“Nothing to be offended about.”

Han Yujin looked around. I followed his gaze. White walls and potted plants with broad green leaves came into view. It was a fairly spacious interior. A long sofa sat alone, and a round light hung from the ceiling. There were no windows, just one large door.

“I turned off the broadcast. They said Chatterbox can’t see important information either.”

“If he could know, he would have already used it to mess with us. It’s probably not a lie.”

“Han Yujin.”

A pure white gun was pulled out in Han Yujin’s hand. My fingertips flinched inadvertently. I wondered if I should respond, but.

“Has a lot of work to do.”

If that guy is truly the same as me.

“Above all, he has to bring Yuhyun back.”

His finger caressed the muzzle. Tracing the curve smoothly.

“He has to take responsibility too. And for other people as well. Well, leaving everything else aside, I am you too.”

If it were me. Instead of attacking me.

“So you have to live.”

The muzzle touched under his chin. Without the slightest hesitation or wavering.

“It’s okay if I die.”

Bang

A gunshot rang out. Blood didn’t splatter. I saw the body jerk back from the recoil and fall backward. Just like that, thud, he lay spread–eagled on the floor. The gun clattered as it hit the ground.

“…Ah, Grace.”

A muttering sound was heard.

“It doesn’t even turn off. A message popped up. Hey, it says suicide isn’t allowed. Says I can’t forfeit either since I’m not a participant.”

“…You.”

“What.”

Han Yujin laughed out loud.

“You crazy bastard, do you think all fakes want to become real? Maybe if it were someone else, but not you. Even though you can’t even die properly.”

I took a step closer. Han Yujin was still lying down. He didn’t seem to have any intention of getting up. A long breath was exhaled, and his chest rose and fell.

“You have to keep hiding, enduring, and pretending nothing is wrong, but not me, you know? I just have to die here. That helps the Han Yujin who needs to reclaim Han Yuhyun, and that’s enough. I can end it lightheartedly.”

“…”

“But you’ll continue to be in that state. Having to struggle without knowing when it will end or how it will end.”

“…Still, it’s become a bit better.”

The laughter grew louder. The mocking tone was distinct.

“It must be nice having your brother by your side. But all of that is a burden. Sure, it’s enjoyable in the moment. Because you try not to think about it. Even though each and every one of those moments becomes guilt and pricks you like needles. And then it stabs you deeply in the middle of the night.”

…When everyone is gone and it becomes quiet. Especially on the nights of enjoyable days. My stomach would ache, and sometimes I would feel nauseous enough to retch.

“You left your brother behind twice. Yet you’re smiling.”

“…Feels disgusting.”

“Terrible. Even hateful. Living perfectly fine feels strange, and each day feels like committing a sin. But honestly, we.”

The laughter disappeared from Han Yujin’s face. He stared blankly up at the round light on the ceiling.

“Weren’t perfectly fine even before that.”

“…What about it. I was fine.”

“I am you.”

A short silence passed. Han Yujin opened his mouth again.

“We were young. But we weren’t ignorant.”

Of the fact that we would be abandoned by our parents.

“Even back then.”

“Cut it out.”

“There was a time you hesitated about giving up.”

Thud. I kicked the bastard’s leg. My foot hurt too. Han Yujin laughed again. I lifted my leg to kick him once more. This time, Han Yujin didn’t stay still either. Before he could be kicked, he struck my ankle with his foot as if stabbing it.

I staggered and eventually tumbled onto the floor. A loud thud sounded. Han Yujin continued speaking, unconcerned whether I fell or got up again.

“Honestly, that’s normal. We were kids. It was scary, obviously.”

…I didn’t remember exactly how old I was. Maybe because I didn’t want to remember. Roughly, it was around the time our parents started distancing themselves from us.

Was it a playground or a secluded flowerbed? There was no one else, just Yuhyun and me. It was probably a weekend. Our parents were visibly relieved when I said I would take my brother out to play. So we would stay out until sunset, until we sensed dinner was over, before going back in. Because it was more comfortable for just the two of us to eat separately.

That day, too, the sunset had turned red. Yuhyun sat quietly and obediently. My brother looked fine, but I was constantly anxious. I was a child who couldn’t live without parents. Yet, I might be abandoned while clutching an even younger brother.

“It was just that one time.”

“I know.”

If only Yuhyun wasn’t there.

The sun was setting. Even as we barely went home after it got dark, my heart wasn’t at ease. I was scared to go in, but there was nowhere else to go. I clenched and unclenched my hands a few times. I could still feel my palms becoming damp with sweat.

If I went back home alone. Then my parents might be surprised for a moment and then smile like in the old days. Asking with affectionate expressions, welcome home, aren’t you hungry? Maybe they would have rejoiced as if a lost child had returned. Saying the eldest had become ‘normal’. And the three family members would be ordinary and happy.

I inadvertently walked a few steps. My brother didn’t follow. It felt like I ran too. Then, when I suddenly looked back, the sky was pitch black, and my brother was nowhere to be seen.

The inside of my throat became hot with emotion. I felt like I was going to cry. I might have actually been crying. I turned back and ran. Yuhyun was sitting there in the same spot. I hugged my brother, who was staring at me quietly. To me saying sorry, Yuhyun had asked, why?

Instead of answering, I held my brother’s hand. Holding it tight lest I lose it, we walked again.

“After that, there was never a time like that.”

“Something to be proud of.”

“It was just that one time.”

“Maybe because of that incident, you became even more unable to let go.”

Han Yujin said.

“You told Yuhyun to make other friends too, but we aren’t easy either. Yuhyun at least has the excuse that he was born that way, but what about you?”

“You are me too.”

“Back then, Han Yujin was abandoned instead of the brother.”

Under the darkened sky, left all alone. With my strength, I couldn’t take both children, and I had to give up one. And he was still standing there.

“So what, there was no other way. How could I live while taking care of myself too?”

“Yeah, that’s right.”

“And I was satisfied. It was fine. Until the damn dungeons appeared, really.”

“That’s also right. But in the end, it was completely ruined.”

They say effort doesn’t guarantee everything will go well. But still, it was too much. My lips twisted, and a laugh leaked out.

“You damn bastard. Why are you saying that crap now? Mirror or whatever, are you saying Chatterbox made this after all? There’s nothing helpful for me here.”

“What bullshit. Why would I say something helpful to you? Since when did you live taking care of yourself?”

True, since it’s me, I’m spouting words that stab at the heart like that. If Chatterbox had intervened, it might have been a bit kinder. Saying it’s not your fault. That we did nothing wrong. That everything will be fine. But Han Yujin is.

“Still, you eventually became lax. Are you happy to be recognized? Getting pathetically excited hearing people say they like you.”

“…That is also you.”

“I’ll disappear after doing my part. Look at me. Even if I’m a fake, I’m offering my life right away. That way, you can fulfill your role. If it were someone else, they would have put up a huge fight. No way they would die obediently.”

I recalled the finger pulling the trigger without a shred of hesitation.

“Meaning you’re like that too, still. What’s the point of people around you taking care of you? At most, it’s just ‘Hmm, everyone is worried so I should be careful’. Like it’s someone else’s business.”

It’s pouring water into a bottomless jar. Han Yujin said.

“No, is it completely smashed? It might get wet briefly when pouring water. But it won’t hold anything anyway.”

“So what do you want me to do?”

“Don’t dream useless dreams.”

“…Cold–hearted bastard.”

“It’s the same when we were young, and now too. The opponent just changed from parents to Transcendentals and Origins. Strength is still insufficient, and there’s not much we can do. It’s not a situation where we can take care of you too.”

I had nothing to say. I retorted, but in the end, that guy’s thoughts were my thoughts.

“Anyway, hang in there. Even if you hate surviving after killing your brother like crazy, what can you do? You have to pretend to be fine.”

“…You talk a damn lot.”

I looked down at Han Yujin. The feeling was quite terrible. The me inside the dungeon was still bearable since it was before I committed the wrong. Actually, that guy had no reason to be criticized. Is he living happily?

“We have no right.”

As if knowing what I recalled, Han Yujin muttered bitterly. I aimed the gun at Han Yujin. A gunshot rang out, and the fired magic bullet scattered in vain. My hair was slightly disheveled by the wind.

“I told you Grace can’t be turned off.”

Han Yujin closed his eyes.

“It must be hard to do. Want to forfeit?”

“…Do you think I would?”

“Yeah, if you were going to quit here, you would have quit long ago. We suffered a lot. Maybe we’re in this shape because we don’t know how to give up.”

“But because of that.”

There were things gained and things changed because I came this far. Yuhyun, the current Yuhyun, was doing well. Yerim too, and the others as well.

“Except for you.”

“Don’t talk as if you’re reading someone else’s mind.”

“Because it’s my mind.”

Most things became better. Though there are cases like MKC or Sudam. In Korea, fewer dungeons exploded, so many people I don’t know must have survived.

“That’s doing well enough.”

“So don’t be greedy. Not everything is ours.”

Even the regression wasn’t my power. If I had known what would happen back then, would I have turned back time? If saving that brother was completely impossible, would I have ended it there?

I bent down. As long as Grace existed, there were few ways to kill Han Yujin. I put my knees on the floor, then stood up slightly again and sat down hard on Han Yujin’s chest.

“Ugh, hey.”

Han Yujin opened his eyes. He looked up at me disapprovingly.

“I can’t kill you at once.”

I realized anew that this was truly crazy.

“So, I’ll probably struggle instinctively.”

Since he’s a living person. Han Yujin let out a small sigh.

“Should I tie you up or something?”

“…I don’t know. Maybe I won’t move an inch. Even like this.”

We looked at each other a bit blankly.

“Still, it was quite fun.”

“Cut it out. You’ll get lingering attachments.”

“Should I envy you?”

“…No, that won’t do.”

Whatever I said, still. I was probably taking care of myself, even if just a little. That must be why I tried to participate in Chatterbox’s party alone. Making diligent excuses that it’s better that way, that it’s advantageous, I wanted to take care of myself.

And in reality, I was excited by the gazes looking at Han Yujin.

“I felt good.”

“…But, now.”

“It’s not the situation for that. Right, that’s true.”

I don’t even know what will happen. I haven’t even reclaimed everything I lost. I shouldn’t get excited already. Not yet. Though I wondered when it would be okay.

I stared at myself quietly. Agreeing to abandon myself, it was silent.

Han Yujin blocked Han Yujin’s windpipe.