Transdimensional Marketing

Chapter 58: The Curse of Being an Elder Brother

Chapter 58 – The Curse of Being an Elder Brother

After taking the syringe out of the box, Chen Yu raised it toward his window to get a better look at it.

As he studied the spiraling syringe, he got the impression that the blue liquid inside was consciously moving.

“Why does it feel like the t-Virus[1]?”

Chen Yu pulled out his phone and searched for images of the dangerous t-Virus on the internet to compare with the blue liquid he held. And the more images he looked at, the more he found the t-Virus similar to the blue liquid he held.

[Chen Yu: “I got the item. However, I want to know if it’s harmful or not.”]

[Transdimensional Marketing: “It is a gene agent that’s considerably beneficial to the human constitution. How can it possibly be harmful?”]

[Chen Yu: “Alright, then. Take it as me overthinking things. Oh, right. Is this gene agent capable of increasing intelligence?”]

[Transdimensional Marketing: “Intelligence? It is only capable of increasing the transmission rate of brain neurons.”]

[Chen Yu: “Truthfully, while this might seem laughable, I think that my…brain is slightly different from the ordinary person’s. Can this gene agent fix it?”]

[Transdimensional Marketing: “Are you sure it is just slightly different, Mr. Chen?”]

[Chen Yu: “…”]

[Transdimensional Marketing: “Haha, I was just joking with you. Mr. Chen, you are merely too young to think things out fully. Things will get better once you grow up and mature.”]

[Chen Yu: “But my mom said that I’d stay this way even after I grow old.”]

[Transdimensional Marketing: “…Your mother might be correct.”]

[Chen Yu: “…”]

[Transdimensional Marketing: “…”]

[Chen Yu: “Very good. Speaking with you has made me very damned happy. Goodbye.”]

[Transdimensional Marketing: “Goodbye.”]

After exiting WeChat and tossing aside his phone, Chen Yu removed the syringe’s cap and pressed the needle against his shoulder. Afterward, he fell into silence for three minutes.

“It should hurt a lot…”

“Phew…”

Chen Yu breathed out a deep sigh, then gritted his teeth and pushed down the syringe, its needle stabbing into his muscle tissues.

Buzz… Buzz… Buzz…

In the next moment, the spiraling structure inside the syringe actually started rotating, pushing the blue liquid into Chen Yu’s body.

Swish… Click.

Five seconds later, all of the blue liquid had been injected into Chen Yu’s body. A red light then lit up at the top of the syringe. He hurriedly pulled out the needle, then licked the needle wound to stop his blood from flowing out.

Moving his arm around, Chen Yu found that he did not feel any discomfort whatsoever.

[Chen Yu: “I injected it, but there doesn’t seem to be any changes?”]

[Transdimensional Marketing: “The changes naturally won’t occur immediately. The gene agent will gradually modify and improve your constitution throughout a long period. You may also accelerate this process by exercising.”]

[Chen Yu: “OK. I also noticed that the syringe used to store the gene agent is quite special. Can I exchange it for something?”]

[Transdimensional Marketing: “…You can.”]

[Chen Yu: “Wonderful. Switch it to something else for me. No water, though.”]

[Transdimensional Marketing: “Mr. Chen, the thermostatic syringe used to store the gene agent can’t be used to exchange for something as valuable as water.”]

[Chen Yu: “Anything is fine, just not water.”]

[Transdimensional Marketing: “Very well, Mr. Chen. Please wait a moment. I’ll send in the application for you now.”]

[Transdimensional Marketing: “Application completed. Based on your possible needs, we have chosen three items for you to choose from. One: Fragrant Toilet Paper; Two: High Polymer Plastic Bag; Three: Fated Hammer.”]

[Chen Yu: “Give me an explanation. What are they used for?”]

[Transdimensional Marketing: “The Fragrant Toilet Paper will make your butt fragrant when used. Every sheet of toilet paper that comes into contact with your skin will also combine with dead skin cells and bacteria to produce different fragrances. You can also use it to remove body odor and avoid awkward situations. The toilet paper also has a sterilizing function that helps protect your health.

“The High Polymer Plastic Bag is a very sturdy food-packaging bag. It can prevent the release of toxic substances due to steam and high temperatures.

“The Fated Hammer has a built-in processor that can adjust the hammer’s trajectory using the wind blade on the hammer’s peen to ensure that every hit will avoid the nail and hit your finger.”]

Chen Yu’s face started twitching intensely at the three items’ descriptions.

[Chen Yu: “What are these junks?! I won’t say much about the toilet paper and plastic bag, but what’s up with that Fated Hammer?! What is the point of creating it?!”]

[Transdimensional Marketing: “To avoid the frustration of hitting the nail every time.”]

[Chen Yu: “Shouldn’t you be frustrated for missing the nail?!”]

[Transdimensional Marketing: “The thought process of you ancient people truly is mysterious.”]

[Chen Yu: “…You people are the ones that are strange, alright?! I want a replacement!”]

[Transdimensional Marketing: “I’m sorry, Mr. Chen, but the thermostatic syringe’s value is simply too low. You cannot apply for a replacement. You may only choose one of the three aforementioned items.”]

Lowering his head and glancing at the syringe in his hand, Chen Yu massaged his forehead for a long time before he sent back a reply.

[Chen Yu: “I’ll get the first one, then. I can at least let my family use it.”]

[Transdimensional Marketing: “I will open the space-time wormhole for you now. Please place the thermostatic syringe into it.”]

Immediately, a white vortex formed before Chen Yu. He then casually tossed the empty syringe into the wormhole.

Three seconds later, a roll of toilet paper fell out of the wormhole.

Once the wormhole disappeared, Chen Yu extended his hand to grab the toilet paper. He put it before his nose and gave it a sniff but failed to smell any fragrance from it.

Will it give off a fragrance only after it is used?

With this thought in mind, Chen Yu brought the roll out of his room and went to the toilet. He then hung it in the toilet paper dispenser there and pulled out a sheet.

Flap.

To Chen Yu’s surprise, an instruction manual actually fell off the back of the sheet of toilet paper he pulled out.

Picking up the instruction manual, he saw only one sentence written on it.

[Any body fluid that comes into contact with this paper towel will activate the active matter contained within the paper’s fibers and cause it to release a mysterious fragrance.]

“So, that’s the case!” Realization dawned upon Chen Yu. “There’s actually active matter inside it.”

After giving the toilet paper another look, Chen Yu squatted down and stuck his tongue out before the toilet paper. He then licked it without hesitation.

In the next second, a strange, indescribable fragrance drifted into Chen Yu’s nose, intoxicating him.

“This is truly…wonderful…”

After sniffing the strange fragrance for a while, Chen Yu suddenly heard the sound of something hitting the floor coming from behind him. Turning his head around, he saw Chen Erke staring at him wide-eyed and a crayon by her feet.

Even after a moment had passed, Chen Yu’s tongue remained stretched out of his mouth.

Meanwhile, Chen Erke remained standing motionlessly as well.

The two siblings goggled at each other, their muscles stiff.

Time seemingly stopped at this moment.

Sound seemingly disappeared as well.

After an unknown amount of time had passed, Chen Erke snapped out of her daze and took a step back. She then slammed the toilet’s door shut with a bang.

She said through the door, “I… I didn’t see anything. (ಥ_ಥ)”

“Second Eldest! Wa-Wait! Second Eldest, let me explain!”

Chen Yu chased after Chen Erke in a panic. However, like a frightened rabbit, she dashed into the master bedroom and locked the door.

That was a scene she would never forget for the rest of her life.

Her elder brother had actually been licking a sheet of paper with an affectionate and intoxicated expression on his face.

That was paper found inside the toilet. Aside from it being toilet paper, what else could it possibly be?

…

Chen Yu: “…”

After standing before the master bedroom’s door in a daze for some time, Chen Yu turned around and dragged himself back into his own room. He then walked to his window and looked at the flowing traffic below with a lifeless expression.

“It’s over…

“I’m finally going to be treated like a pervert by my little sisters…”