Transdimensional Marketing

Chapter 60: Sir, Times Have Changed (1)

Chapter 60 – Sir, Times Have Changed (1)

“This is Transdimensional Review’s fourth episode! I am very grateful for the support everyone has shown me thus far! Today, I have brought a slightly special product for everyone.”

Extending three upraised fingers to the camera, Chen Yu said, “In the first episode, I reviewed a nuclear simulation toy. In the second episode, I reviewed a pair of quantum glasses meant for studying and office work. In the third episode, I reviewed a small item meant for leisurely entertainment. The product for today’s review, however, has a qualitative difference compared to the past three products!

“The reason being…”

At this point, Chen Yu opened his hand and smacked his palm on the table before him, saying, “It…is a weapon!

“It is a firearm possessing great destructive power!

“And it is called a gun!”

[I think you really lost your mind, UP.]

[69696969…]

[The rhythm of your narration is getting better and better.]

[Is your dominant arm itching? ( ͡°͜ʖ͡°)]

[This is the final episode.]

[Hopefully, there’s an opportunity to watch your court session on TV.]

[Visual inspection of a water gun…]

After the tide of bullet comments passed, Chen Yu pushed on his mask and continued, “In the entire Bilibili platform, no UP would dare personally evaluate firearms. You can think of me as a unique existence. Of course, as a UP bearing the name ‘Transdimensional,’ this gun I’m going to review naturally doesn’t belong to our current space-time. It is…”

Leaving his words hanging, Chen Yu reached under the table and grabbed the heavy and mighty gun. He then set it on the table with a bang, saying, “The 404 Heat Ray Gun manufactured by the Kelmei Arms Company!”

[What a cool design! I nearly believed you!]

[The Bloodthirsty UP of Bilibili!]

[Damn, this thing looks so real!]

[It’s reflecting light! It should be quite valuable!]

[As a blind person, I feel very sad to see this kind of violent video.]

[You actually removed the unboxing session completely?!]

[Can you give it to a subscriber as a gift? I want to play with it…]

Slowly stroking the gun barrel, Chen Yu snapped his finger and said, “I know, I know. Many of you think that this is just a toy. I know you also think that I am crazy. In that case, let’s go straight into the product evaluation segment. I will show everyone the performance of humanity’s strongest personal weapon of three centuries in the future!”

After saying so, Chen Yu took out from under the table a small steel cage, inside which, a small mouse was scampering about.

“Since we are talking about a weapon evaluation, we must have a target. Hence, I caught this big, fat rat from a garbage dump nearby. I’ll be using it to display the lethality of the 404 Heat Ray Gun on living creatures.”

[Rat lovers express strong condemnation!]

[What a cute little mouse. It will definitely become very lively once it enters the grinder.]

[Jerry? Is that you, Jerry?!]

[Are you trying to make the mouse laugh to death using this gun?]

[Crazy! (Good job!)]

[If this is going to be animal abuse, I’m withdrawing. I can’t stomach animal cruelty…]

After placing the cage on a brick, Chen Yu pulled up the hood of his jacket to cover the sides of his face and ears. He then raised the Heat Ray Gun and toggled the safety switch.

Whoosh—

In the next moment, the sounds of machinery moving and electric current flowing were audible. The sights sitting above the gun barrel also lit up. And as if the sights were a translucent screen, various indicators and parameters appeared on it.

[Crap! Are those special effects? It feels so sci-fi…]

[The funds are burning!]

[Isn’t the quality of this gun a little too much? It can’t be real, right?]

[Mouse: What the heck are you playing at?! Where’s the water gun you promised before?!]

Raising the gun and locking the sights on the mouse, Chen Yu pressed his finger against the ring-shaped trigger and said, “Before I fire, let me introduce the parameters of this weapon. The 404 Heat Ray Gun functions by firing a high-temperature heat ray. To be precise, it is capable of heating targets by 8,500C° to 9,750C° per millisecond to a maximum temperature of 12,000°C! The heating temperature has exceeded the melting point of all known substances in the present era. The heat ray can vaporize carbon-based organisms instantly as well as instantaneously melt objects with a melting point below 4,300°C. In other words…”

Turning to look straight at the camera lens, Chen Yu continued, “In our current year of 2020, there is nothing in existence that can stop this gun! It is truly an invincible weapon!”

As soon as he finished speaking, without giving his audience any time to react, he pulled the trigger without hesitation!

Whoosh—

A circular structure in the middle of the gun barrel suddenly started rotating.

At the same time, a web-shaped light wrapped around the mouse inside the cage.

As Chen Yu had read the Heat Ray Gun’s instruction manual, he knew that this was the gun’s targeting mechanism.

Once locked on, the target had no hope of escape!

Moreover, the heat ray fired would be contained inside the web of light, rapidly raising the core temperature of the target.

Swish— Swish— Swish—

As the circular structure inside the gun barrel spun at increasingly faster speeds, Chen Yu released the trigger.

Buzz!

A red beam then shot out of the muzzle, appearing and disappearing in the blink of an eye.

The mouse inside the cage instantly vaporized. Aside from a few wisps of blue smoke, nothing was left of the mouse—not even a strand of fur.

Whoosh… Whoosh…

The circular structure inside the gun barrel slowly came to a stop. Chen Yu then carefully placed the gun on the table and then bent over to pick up the brick that was used to support the cage. Displaying the cage before the camera, Chen Yu pointed at a melted steel bar of the cage and said, “Everyone, can you see it? The place the heat ray brushed against melted completely. It’s still red-hot even now. I’ll use water to validate the temperature of the melted steel.”

After saying so, Chen Yu grabbed a bottle of Master Kong brand mineral water and poured water over the cage.

Sizzle!

Steam instantly shrouded the melted steel!

[Crap! Crap! Crap!]

[????]

[What did I just see?]

[???]

[!!!!]

[“Is this magic? This must be magic, right?]

[How did you do it?!]

[Mouse: ??? Where am I?]

[My god! Don’t tell me this is real…]

[Everyone knows that videos cannot be edited, so this must be real. ¯_( ͡°͜ʖ͡°)_/¯]

[There are no ashes! Dislike!]

[No need for corpse disposal. This is a must-have product for travel and murder…]

A barrage of bullet comments immediately appeared on the screen, covering every corner of it.

…

Meanwhile, inside a distant hotel suite, the investigation team paused the video that was playing on the TV, and the five members looked at each other with startled expressions.

Among the five, the young man named Xiao Li instinctively moved his hand to touch the small gun holster at his waist.

Gulp.

After swallowing his saliva, which had pooled in his mouth, with great difficulty, he stammered, “Lea-Leader, I… I think my menstrual cycle is here. Can I take time off from tonight’s operation?”

Instead of responding to Xiao Li’s absurd excuse, the middle-aged man leading the investigation team removed his glasses and wiped off the cold sweat on his forehead. “It’s a warning! He is warning us! He knows we are looking for him!”

“Leader, what should we do?” the woman standing beside the middle-aged man asked, her expression turning ugly as she looked at the 404 Heat Ray Gun displayed on the screen. “With… With things as they are, I don’t think this is a situation we can resolve by ourselves.”

For a moment, silence reigned in the hotel suite.

With trembling hands, the middle-aged man put back his glasses and said hoarsely, “Send this video to Beijing’s teams and have them do an analysis report first. If it is determined that there are no special effects in the video and that the weapon is real, report this matter to the higher-ups immediately. As for ourselves, we will halt all our operations for now and wait for reinforcements. Also, please contact Director Wang of the nearby 377 Army…and make follow-up plans.”

“Understood!” x3

“Let’s continue watching the video, then.”

With an anxious face, the middle-aged man raised the remote control and pressed the Play button.

In the next moment, inside the video, Chen Yu tossed away the damaged cage and lifted the heavy 404 Heat Ray Gun. He then pointed the muzzle at the camera and said, “One target is naturally insufficient to prove the power of this weapon. Next up, we will be testing it on more exciting targets…”