Transmigrating into the Genius Cannon Fodder’s Aunt

Chapter 96.1 – How to Handle Annoying Relatives (I)

Second Uncle Xia was outside, knocking on the door, but the family inside all turned a deaf ear and went about their business. Only Qiangqiang leaned against the main door to yell, “No one’s home! Everyone’s out!”

“Who are you trying to fool? The car’s parked right outside,” said Second Uncle Xia. “Xia Mian’s back, right? I came to see her.”

“Nope, that’s not our car!” Qiangqiang replied smoothly. “Aunt Mian hasn’t come back. Second Great Uncle, you’d better go about your business!”

Clearly, this standoff between Second Uncle Xia and Qiangqiang was nothing new. Knowing he wasn’t going to get in, Second Uncle could only call out through the door, “Mianmian, Second Uncle knows you’re back. Your aunt specially cut some meat for you—come over for dinner tonight.”

“Cut meat? Now that’s really splurging,” Xia Chuan sneered. “But who dares eat their food? One meal there, and you’d be paying ten later.”

“You can dodge for a while, but Second Uncle’s too damn persistent at cornering people.” Xia He sighed.

This person could squat in a corner for a month just to take advantage of someone.

His wife, Hong Juan, fretted for Xia Mian. “Once their family latches onto you, it’s a nightmare.”

“Don’t worry,” Xia Mian said nonchalantly, “He may have forgotten that his family never gets benefits from me. I’ll just help him remember it later.”

Xia Chuan instantly remembered how, two years ago, Xia Mian had thrown her second uncle’s entire family into chaos, and he burst into laughter.

That made Hong Juan curious, and Xia He began recounting the story.

Once the gift distribution was mostly done and things tidied up, Eldest Uncle arranged for Xiao Liu—who would be leaving early the next morning—to spend the night in their guest room. His wife then led the two daughters-in-law to see Xia Mian and Xiao Feng home.

Sure enough, Second Uncle Xia was waiting at her doorstep, sitting on a brick. Seeing them approach, he grinned, “I knew Mianmian was back. Qiangqiang insisted you weren’t.”

“Sister-in-law, I’ve been calling at the door forever—why didn’t you answer?”

Eldest Aunt-in-law replied with a straight face, “We were chatting inside and didn’t hear.”

Second Uncle Xia didn’t mind. He immediately shifted his attention to Xia Mian and Xiao Feng, smiling brightly. “I can see you two living well in Yan City—got a car, even? And Xiao Feng’s looking healthy, all chubby.”

The small talk quickly steered toward what he really cared about. “The Ning family gave you quite a bit of money, right? I heard you brought back a whole carload of things.”

“Did you bring anything for your grandmother? She’s old now and can’t get around. If you can’t deliver it yourself, Second Uncle can take it over for you.”

Xia Mian rolled her eyes. “Second Uncle, could you not get so close to me? I don’t acknowledge you as a relative. It hasn’t been that long—you don’t think I forgot about you trying to sell me off, do you?

“Not to mention the countless times you’ve swindled my family. I’ve got a great memory, you know, so drop your schemes—you’re not getting a single cent out of me.”

Second Uncle Xia glared. “What’s with your mouth, girl? Still holding grudges? When did I ever take advantage of you?”

“What do you mean, ‘sell you’? I’m your uncle—wasn’t I doing it for your own good? Look at your cousin Lili—married Wang Tao, and now she’s having a car to send and pick her up everywhere. How impressive is that? She went to Yan City last year, and everyone calls her Boss Lady.”

Xia Mian didn’t have the patience to argue. “For the sake of you being my dad’s brother, I’ll let the past slide. But from now on, we’re done. If you keep buzzing around me like a fly, don’t blame me for being rude.”

Second Uncle Xia was furious. “Xia Mian, are you cutting ties?”

“Yes!” Xia Mian said. “In a bit, I’m going to find Laizi. I’ve got two hundred yuan ready—”

Before she could finish, the moment Second Uncle Xia heard “money,” his eyes lit up—almost literally gleaming. “Two hundred yuan for what? Why find Laizi? Second Uncle can do it for you, and it won’t even cost two hundred.”

Xia Mian laughed. “This one, you really can’t do. Only Laizi can handle it.”

Second Uncle Xia didn’t believe it. “Laizi’s just some little thug—what could a punk like that do that your Second Uncle couldn’t? Don’t go wasting money.”

“Smashing windows,” Xia Mian smirked. “Your windows, specifically. Pay him ten yuan a smash, and I’m damn sure he’s more than happy to do it.”

The Second Uncle’s eyes went wide. “Xia Mian! What are you doing?”

“Annoying you, what else?” Xia Mian replied nonchalantly. “Here’s the deal—every time you show up in front of me, I’ll have Laizi go smash your windows. Two hundred yuan is enough for twenty days, and by then I’ll be gone.”

She smiled at his darkened expression. “If all the windows are gone, he can smash something else. As long as it’s broken, I’ll pay for it. Today counts as the first time—you can expect it to start tomorrow.”

“Xia Mian!” Second Uncle Xia roared. “How could you be so ruthless, girl? Stop being so narrow-minded!”

“If you don’t leave now, I’ll count it as twice,” Xia Mian said. “Or maybe I’ll just go find Laizi right now—once tonight, once tomorrow. He’d love it, don’t you think?” She turned to head toward Xia Chuan.

Her ruthless threat instantly brought back Second Uncle Xia’s nightmare from two years ago. He didn’t dare test whether his niece was bluffing and hurried off, muttering angrily, “And to think we even cut meat and prepared a feast waiting for you—you really don’t appreciate kindness.”

It was Hong Juan’s first time seeing Xia Mian go head-to-head with Second Uncle, and she was stunned. “Mianmian, you’re amazing. Second Uncle’s pestering has given so many people headaches.”

“This kind of shameless person needs to feel pain before they can understand human speech,” Xia Mian said, then told Qiangqiang, “Go tell your Third Uncle to call Laizi for me.”

Hong Juan was startled. “You’re really going to do it?”

“Of course,” Xia Mian sneered. “I have to keep my word. Didn’t he just get in my face today? That counts as one. If I let it slide, do you think he wouldn’t dare come again tomorrow? I’m sick of him, so it’s better to end it once and for all.”

Hong Juan covered her mouth, laughing. “From now on, Second Uncle won’t just stop pestering you—he’ll probably go out of his way to avoid you.”

“He should’ve been doing that a long time ago.” Xia Mian had no interest in bickering with him every time she visited her hometown.

When they pushed open the courtyard gate, everything inside was spotless. Knowing Xia Mian and Xiao Feng would be arriving today, the women in the family had cleaned ahead of time so the house would be ready for use at once.

Li Fang glanced around and suddenly said with a mix of amusement and exasperation, “The mugwort braids I lit are gone.”

In Mingxi County, mugwort braids were a common mosquito repellent. Fresh mugwort was braided, dried for two days until half-dry, then stored. When lit, it burned slowly like incense, producing thick smoke that repelled mosquitoes and flies. It was essential in summer, so Li Fang had lit two earlier and left them in the yard.

“It must’ve been Second Uncle who took them,” Hong Juan said dryly.

Their mother-in-law was used to it. “As long as it belongs to someone else, even a clod of dirt is gold to him.”

“We’ll just bring two more over later.”

…

Xia Mian and Xiao Feng enjoyed a nice, long sleep until a crashing sound came from next door, followed by a woman’s loud cursing.

Xiao Feng blinked groggily at the mosquito net overhead, still not fully awake. He turned his head, saw Xia Mian was there, and relaxed again, his eyelids folding into three creases—clearly still sleepy.

“It’s still early—sleep a bit more.” Xia Mian patted his forehead and let him rest, then stepped outside and, hearing the indirect insults from next door, yelled, “Go ahead and curse! I’ve still got a hundred and ninety yuan left. You are doing a good job helping others earn money.”

Second Aunt-in-law Xia instantly went silent, like her throat had been squeezed shut. Her husband’s voice could be heard quietly trying to calm her down.

Satisfied, Xia Mian went back to bed and hugged Xiao Feng for another round of sleep.

It wasn’t until the sun was high that they heard Qiangqiang shouting outside, waking them both. Xiao Feng stretched, then suddenly remembered something and jumped up. “Brother Qiangqiang!”

Xia Mian laughed. “Awake now?”

The boy grinned and nuzzled into her neck. “Go catch loaches.”

“Qiangqiang said he’d take you to catch loaches?” Xia Mian got up, found him some older clothes, and dressed him. “Wear this—it’s not like you’ll stay clean today.”

When Xia Mian brought Xiao Feng to Eldest Uncle’s house, Qiangqiang was already waiting with a few friends. After eating the breakfast the family had saved for them, Xiao Feng ran off with Qiangqiang.

Xia Mian stayed at home, discussing preparations for visiting Xia Chun’s grave.