Ghosts Know What I Experienced

Chapter 19.1: That thing escaped!

Chapter 19 Part 1

At midnight, the yin energy’s flourishing in the mortal world, just right to go ghost hunting.

In some suburb of H City, Z Province, an old Celestial Master was currently using a peach wood sword to impale a malicious ghost’s stomach. The malicious ghost roared in pain. With a stern expression, the Celestial Master chanted a spell, strongly wishing to subdue this malicious ghost. A strange ringtone sounded from his pocket.

“Gossip is here, gossip is here, gossip is here……Gossip is here, gossip is here, gossip is here……”

The old Celestial Master suddenly stopped chanting. The malicious ghost foolishly looked at him, not knowing what had happened. The old Celestial Master used one hand to stab the malicious ghost with the peach wood sword. The ghost was stabbed onto the sword like a grilled skewer. With a flick of his sleeve, he said, “Wait a moment, let this old man look at today’s gossip first.”

Malicious ghost, “……”

You’re crazy! Them malicious ghosts don’t need their faces anymore?!!!

Similar situations happened all over Huaxia.

In some villa in the outskirts of Haicheng, Qishan-daoren was still fast asleep one second before, but once 12 o’clock hit, he woke up. The white haired old Celestial Master stroked his beard and opened his cell phone. With a single glance, he just “haha” laughed out loud.

Bang!

A minute later, Qishan-daoren’s son ran up the stairs in anguish again, “Dad! This is the second time this month that we had to change our windows. Can you not read ‘Ghosts Know’ anymore? Even if you need to read ‘Ghosts Know,’ can you not use Heaven Shaking Roar to break all of our windows?!!!”

This time, Qishan-daoren was so excited that he couldn’t even say anything. The old man directly held the mobile phone to his son’s eyes. When his son looked at the screen, he also widened his eyes in astonishment and exclaimed, “Young Daoist Ye really found his future wife?!”

Talking about this matter, you would have to start from last week.

Ever since an anonymous person broke the news of Hell King Ye having an arranged betrothal, the Xuanxue world that hadn’t seen such big gossip for a long time suddenly became “boiling hot.”

It’s reportedly said that on that day, Tianji School’s Zhufeng-zhenren divined as much as 81 times, broke 11 tortoise shells, but he surprisingly couldn’t calculate who Hell King Ye’s future wife was; it’s also reportedly said that one day, all of the seniors that were close to Yi Lingzi back then were asked, but they could only say with a bitter face, “This old man definitely didn’t break out this gossip, this old man didn’t even know that Yi Lingzi gave his disciple an arranged marriage!”

The more they couldn’t find the answer, the more curious they became.

Tianji School in itself was a sect that majored in divinations. The other Celestial Masters would all dabble in divinations for a bit. However, if even Tianji School’s Sect Leader, Zhufeng-zhenren, couldn’t even find out who the girl was, how could these laymen find out? Henceforth, since that day, “Ghosts Know” established a series of special topics, and many Celestial Masters hopped on to guess the identity of the girl with extremely strong yin energy.

Being unable to find out indicated that her strength was very strong and could block people from trying to pry.

Just how strong was she that even Zhufeng-zhenren couldn’t even calculate her name?

At the start, everyone was still talking about who this fiancée was, but later, the topic skewed towards “If Hell King Ye and the fellow female daoist who was that valiant were to get married, then how scary would their child be” and “If Hell King Ye’s son was more powerful than Hell King Ye, what would he be called? Ye Wudi? Ye Shangtian?” ……¹

Because there hadn’t been any huge gossip in a long time, Ye Jingzhi’s arranged marriage was discussed for a full 3 days. But after 3 days had past, no more news appeared, and everyone also changed the topic.

Until now, “Ghosts Know” unexpectedly released an article on the front page headlines——

《 When He Found His Fiancée, His Hands Held Something Long and Thick……》

No name was mentioned; however, once it mentioned fiancée, everyone immediately realized: Hell King Ye!

If it’s like this, they could forget it, but seeing “something long and thick,” countless Celestial Masters became dumbstruck one after another and rushed to open the article. Within a short three minutes, several thousand comments immediately exploded in “Ghosts Know”’s comments section.

【 Clickbait! This old man’s hates clickbaits the most, editor, do you dare tell this old man where your HQ is at? This old man is determined to ask for advice! 】

【 666, clickbait, I can only admire “Ghosts Know,” a broom can also count as a something thick, lol. But I originally thought this was some pure clickbait and wouldn’t find Hell King Ye’s future wife at all, but I didn’t think that this article actually did! 】

【 S City? Hell King Ye’s future wife is in S City? This monk is also in S City! 】

【 Any fellow daoists in S City? Want to meet up tomorrow to go see how this valiant fellow female daoist looks like? 】

……

“Ghosts Know” Official Account General HQ.

Once today’s headline was published, the number of clicks rose, and the comments and likes also broke though 10,000 at a rate visible to the naked eye.

There was something that Xi Jia never knew, and Pei Yu also forgot to tell him that anyone who followed “Ghosts Know” would have one month of free reading. All the articles would be free to read and any comments would also be free to send for the first month of following the official account. However, after a month, it would require one point per month in order to read and comment.

10cent naturally didn’t play like this. Which official account would dare mess with this kind of tyrant contract? It’s simply waiting to be shut down. But “Ghosts Know” did things like this, following Tian Gong Pavilion’s disciples’ modified work. So what if you’re an old senior with great magic power and wanted to read articles a month later? Sorry, first make a monthly payment!

One point for Ye Jingzhi and Pei Yu’s kind of people was of course nothing difficult. But for the majority of Celestial Masters, it’s still a small expense. As a result, “Ghosts Know” also did another thing: no monthly payments was also possible, they could give you the day’s headline article for free and preview 100 words. Wanted to read all the text? No problem, 0.1 points per article, please.

Looking at the number of points constantly rising, the editors were grinning, unable to conceal their excitement.

And at another side, Zhuzhao-zhenren grinned to the point of drooling. He quickly wiped away his saliva and sent a WeChat message: 【 How is it? This daoist’s scoop is awesome right? How many points can you give this daoist, quickly give this daoist the points! 】

An editor immediately replied back: 【 Senior Zhuzhao, you can currently obtain 80,000 points from views and 20,000 points from comments. 】

Zhuzhao-zhenren happily nodded up and down. At this moment, he saw Ye Jingzhi’s profile picture suddenly appear on his WeChat’s home page. Zhuzhao-zhenren was frightened to the point of nearly falling down from the clouds. After opening the message, he sighed in relief and directly transferred the money: 【 It’s this daoist’s fault, it’s this daoist’s fault for accidentally breaking Young Daoist Ye’s door. 】

Ye Jingzhi tapped open the transfer. He hadn’t opened his mouth when Xi Jia who was to the side immediately exclaimed in astonishment, “One million?!”

Ye Jinghzi thought for a bit and replied back: 【 Senior Zhuzhao, it’s not this junior’s door. 】

Xi Jia said, “That’s not the important point. The point is that this door only costs ten thousand. How did it turn into a million?” Moreover, when did WeChat allow direct transfers of one million. How come he didn’t know?!

Zhuzhao-zhenren was particularly generous: 【 These Aruban numerals really are too inconvenient. How is it as dependable as our Chinese characters, causing this daoist to accidentally see two extra zeros. Young Daoist Ye, there’s no need to stand on ceremonies, it’s merely one million. You can consider it as this daoist making it up to you guys. 】

Xi Jia, “……”

Merely one million……do you dare to say it one more time, it’s merely how much?!

Also, it’s not Aruban numerals, it’s Arabic numerals!

Xi Jia recalled the white-haired old man that entered through the broken door. The more he thought, the more he felt that the other person seemed to be really foolish and easy to deceive. And he naturally also didn’t know that at this time, Zhuzhao-zhenren was beaming as he stroked his phone and excitedly said, “100,000 points ah, 100,000 points! Young Daoist Ye is really easy to fool!”

On “Ghosts Know”’s official account, the Celestial Masters were all talking in full swing. Until twenty minutes after, Pei Yu, who just finished catching two malicious ghosts, opened his cell phone and saw today’s gossip. He saw only half when he widened his eyes, “Holy shit? Isn’t this my Brother Jia?!”

『 Fellow Daoist Ye’s fiancée looks delicate and pretty. Height is about 180cm, very thin body, with short hair. The whistleblower didn’t have time to take a photo of the other person. The editor feels deeply regretful, but the whistleblower considerately used a restoration method, and restored their general appearance, as shown below. 』

【 The appearance really is very good, but how come it looks……a bit like a man? 】

【 180cm? I’m not even 180cm! Truly is worthy to be Hell King Ye’s wife, even her height is not the same as normal people. Hell King Ye is very advanced, actually imitating mortals and living together before marriage. 】

【 There’s actually……actually a woman that looks so much like a man in this world! 】

Pei Yu, “……” What friggin’ future wife, that’s my Brother Jia!!!

Thinking to here, Pei Yu hurriedly got on his smurf and replied.

【 This is definitely a man, I know him. Hell King Ye is recently with him to help conceal his yin energy. His yin energy is also extremely strong and it’s the rumored Body of Extreme Yin, but he’s absolutely not Hell King Ye’s future wife! 】

Three minutes later, Zhuzhao-zhenren, who was currently happily waiting for the points to enter his account, received an official letter——

【 To Zhuzhao-zhenren:

As Xuanxue world’s only official news media, “Ghosts Know What I Experienced” Official Account has never reported fake news, upholding the authenticity of the news, and wholeheartedly focusing on reporting the news of the day to the numerous Celestial Masters, and building a harmonious Xuanxue world in the past three years since the Official Account opened.

According to the investigation, the scoop that Zhuzhao-zhenren had provided us is purely false news. We have the right to pursue Zhuzhao-zhenren’s every responsibility.

It has been proposed that Zhuzhao-zhenren must deduct from his online account balance a total of 31,543 points; Zhuzhao-zhenren owes us 68,457 points.

Please pay the remaining balance within one year, or else we have the right to ban Zhuzhao-zhenren from following the Official Account. In addition, we will forbid Zhuzhao-zhenren from commenting on articles for one year; prohibit Zhuzhao-zhenren from providing scoops for a hundred years. 】

Zhuzhao-zhenren didn’t dare to believe it as he replied: 【 How is it possible! That lady’s yin energy was so strong to the point that this daoist’s naked eyes could see! 】

【 Ghosts Know What I Experienced: Zhuzhao-zhenren, may I ask with which eye did you see with? 】

Zhuzhao-zhenren: 【 This daoist’s two eyes saw! 】

【 Ghosts Know What I Experienced: You’re welcome to schedule in advance Shennong Valley’s Eye Exchange Service. One eye for 10,000 points. Two eyes are now 30% off, only 14,000 points. 】

What they really mean: You blind!

Zhuzhao-zhenren, “@#[email protected]#[email protected]#！！！”

Not a single point was earned, and there’s suddenly a debt of 60,000+ points!!!

Zhuzhao-zhenren was so angry that he felt dizzy, and hastily went to find “Ghosts Know”’s editor for an explanation. Who knew that the editor would treat him like an enemy the moment he saw him: 【 Senior Zhuzhao, where did I offend you. In the past, we had a lot of pleasant cooperation. You gave us scoops from fortune telling, and I helped you publish. Mutually beneficial, and now you pulled out this fake news to lie to me?! I trusted you, and didn’t verify the authenticity. Now I’ve lost my job and owe the Official Account 50,000 points! I can’t live anymore. Just you wait, I’m going to grab a rope to hang myself right now! I’ll wear a red dress and use a Cynomorium Rope to hang myself!² Today’s yin hour is choushi and three quarters (1:45am), the yin position is the Dui Trigram position (west).³ I’ll hang myself, and once I die, I’ll become a 6th Layer of Hell ranked malicious ghost.⁴ You wait for me!!!】

Zhuzhao-zhenren completely couldn’t believe his eyes as he stupidly looked at his phone. He couldn’t even say a single word for half an hour. When he came back to his senses, he suddenly realized something. His eyes became red, “This old man even gave Ye Jingzhi that stinkin’ brat one million!!!”

Translator’s Notes:

¹ Wudi 无敌: unequalled, paragon. Shangtian 上天: the sky above, Heaven, God, etc. ↵

² Red dress: It’s said that when a woman dies wearing red (usually in wedding garments), they’ll come back as a ghost to haunt/get revenge the person who scorned/killed them.

锁阳绳 Cynomorium Rope: 锁阳 is the Chinese name for the Cynomorium plant. If taken each separate character literally, it’s lock “yang/male” rope. I have a feeling that this is a censored word for a lock “essence” rope, need I say more? ↵

³ 兑位Dui position: Fengshui, Bagua/Eight Trigrams directions. Dui represents west. ↵

⁴ 铜柱地狱 6th Layer of Hell: literally Copper Pillars Hell. ↵